Stuck in depression

[[Ro...]]

Hi everyone

 

I’ve been stuck in the same state of depression for a week now, three months in to taper. Have been at 1mg Val for about a month and haven’t reduced again yet following the guidance of wait until you feel symptom free enough. Usually the depression part comes in waves for me but this time it’s all day. I don’t know whether I should reduce again and something might change. It feels like MD but it might be withdrawal - either way I’d like a break. I know a week isn’t that long... it feels like forever!

[[pu...]]

Hi. I’m a a somewhat different situation — not tapering but about 6 months out........and I am in a very deep depression.

 

Im so sorry you are experiencing this also. It saddens me so much that it is finally so lovely outside, and I cannot enjoy it because of this depression and agoraphobia. I have no social support, either, so I feel quite trapped.

[[Ro...]]

Purple,

 

I know that feeling of wanting to go out and do something but you can’t. It feels like we’re letting ourselves down, to add to the depression. I want really badly to go to the gym and kick my own butt but when I picture myself doing it, it’s terrifying so then I stay at home. I have a few kind friends, but they don’t have the ability to be supportive of WD so they’re losing patience with me, but I just can’t seem to get it together. It’s not as though we want to be like this!

I think the best type of support we can find is on here with likeminded people going through a similar experience and sharing helpful advice. I’m finding some comfort in thinking of it as a healing process. I really want the process gone.

 

Rose x

[[pu...]]

Purple,

 

I know that feeling of wanting to go out and do something but you can’t. It feels like we’re letting ourselves down, to add to the depression. I want really badly to go to the gym and kick my own butt but when I picture myself doing it, it’s terrifying so then I stay at home. I have a few kind friends, but they don’t have the ability to be supportive of WD so they’re losing patience with me, but I just can’t seem to get it together. It’s not as though we want to be like this!

I think the best type of support we can find is on here with likeminded people going through a similar experience and sharing helpful advice. I’m finding some comfort in thinking of it as a healing process. I really want the process gone.

 

Rose x

 

I can relate to exactly what you are saying.  I have not had many friends for a long time, but the one I have near me is not supportive of what I am going through.  I really have basically no social support here.  I feel very alone.  I guess I often have, even before this, but now I feel alone like I have never before felt.  Being in a situation where I really need friends, but am too ill to actively pursue and/or maintain friendships really adds another painful level to this depression.......as does being trapped inside and in this situation.

 

My heart goes out to you.  I know all too well how difficult this is.

[[Ev...]]

Rose and PurpleHeart, thank you both, I completely identify with so much of what you both are feeling. The sun is shining outside and birds are churping and Im here laying on the couch perusing through benzo buddies for hours now. Ive been off almost 4 months and I have had many good days, but today just kicked my butt. The up and down and unpredictability of the healing process is tortuous. Im so lonely I feel as if my heart is literally in pieces. No friends, no romantic interests, career on hold, life on hold. This is such a long and lonely journey, but I know it will end. This is temporary. We will get through this. Im sure it will be the hardest mountain we ever have to climb in life but Im confident we can so this. And when we feel alone, at least we have each other, even if just virtually.

[[Ro...]]

Hello Hopeful,

 

Yes that unpredictability is terrifying. Even just on Saturday I was having a reasonable day then out of nowhere I was overwhelmed with fear, shame and guilt. It went on for about eight hours before I had some relief. It really is debilitating and I’m 100% certain caused by Benzos as I’ve never experienced anything like it in a ‘previous life’. It’s a joy thief for sure. Most definitely though, keep up your positive thoughts of that it’s going to end and you will heal and our brains are amazing structures. Hurry up, universe, we’re good people 

 

Rose x

[[Wa...]]

I'm right here with all of you. I think hope is such a powerful thing and when we are without hope, out goes everything else as well. I find a great deal of comfort here with you and know that I am not alone on my journey. Let's keep cheering each other on and being supportive of our efforts and achievements. I'm here if anyone needs to vent or talk

[[Fi...]]

I'm still tapering and deeply depressed.  I had a window last Tueaday and it's been downhill since then. 

 

Don't know if its because I switched to compounding my pills or my Lyme treatment. 

 

So scared I will be this way forever.

 

 

[[Ro...]]

So sorry to hear that FH. I have the same fear with the waves of depression, that this is forever, then comes the window where you feel ok again. It’s such a shitty process to go through. Some of my waves have lasted a couple of weeks - hang in there the window is coming. The depression could be from either of your changes or from something completely random. I’m finding some foods set me off, weather changes, sleep patterns, even some interactions with people and some other things I can’t even remember (cheers benzos). We’re healing though, that’s what I’m trying to focus on.

 

Rose