Looking back on when the bottom fell out

[[al...]]

Was doing some reflecting today on what happened during my last nervous breakdown. I had long wanted to be involved in video and film; it's what I went to school for. After graduating and playing the freelance field for a while I finally paid my dues and was starting to get legit work with decent pay through a local production company.

 

Then, the bottom fell out. Suddenly. I lost my desire to work; to contribute creatively. This wad something I loved doing and now, no desire. I was crying nonstop. I was having hourly panic attacks. My head was so preoccupied with negative thoughts that I could never enjoy anything because those thoughts were right there, ruining it all. I was mean and irritable to my family. I had no energy to do anything. I never seriously contemplated ending it but I definitely felt like my life was over. I scheduled a visit with my doc and he put m on wellbutrin which has helped, but I also realized later that maybe it was the other drugs I was taking. So here I am now.

 

Did anyone else's bottom fall out? I'm starting to think a lot of what I was experiencing was not some insane episode where I totally decided that I hate everything about my career path and thought my life was just miserable but that maybe it was tolerance withdrawal from the benzos. What do you guys think?

[[Pa...]]

I don't have any experience to add, but I wanted to let you know how happy it makes me when I see my Buddies begin to connect the dots.  Although it's probably difficult for you to appreciate this now because you feel terrible but, you've been given your life back.  You don't have a mental disorder, you don't have something for which you need medication, you're not damaged in any way.  You're simply the victim of the drugs, and when you're free and healed, you'll know peace.

 

 

[[al...]]

I don't have any experience to add, but I wanted to let you know how happy it makes me when I see my Buddies begin to connect the dots.

 

 

Perspective is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

[[re...]]

the bottom fell out for me not once but THREE TIMES, i couldn't believe it when tolerance withdrawal happened in the supermarket. THOUGHT IT WAS COMA STUFF COMING BACK! BUT NOOO.

I'd come back from a 1993 coma for 8 years, then fell and hurt myself badly on an icy porch, took 9 years to recover from that, then developed GERD which I am still working on , then w/d hit. Any one of these things is a life changer, my friends stopped hanging out with me a bit cos they saw bad luck and someone who couldn't do stuff, 1993 coma then recover, 2001 Chronic Pelvic Pain entrapped nerves, bad reflux plus GERD where you have to change your food and lifestyle,  then 2010 cloanzepam w/d.

it was easy when depressed to look on this and wonder why go on.

but BB has been very helpful.

[[al...]]

the bottom fell out for me not once but THREE TIMES, i couldn't believe it when tolerance withdrawal happened in the supermarket. THOUGHT IT WAS COMA STUFF COMING BACK! BUT NOOO.

I'd come back from a 1993 coma for 8 years, then fell and hurt myself badly on an icy porch, took 9 years to recover from that, then developed GERD which I am still working on , then w/d hit. Any one of these things is a life changer, my friends stopped hanging out with me a bit cos they saw bad luck and someone who couldn't do stuff, 1993 coma then recover, 2001 Chronic Pelvic Pain entrapped nerves, bad reflux plus GERD where you have to change your food and lifestyle,  then 2010 cloanzepam w/d.

it was easy when depressed to look on this and wonder why go on.

but BB has been very helpful.

 

Wow, we all have our own struggles but yikes, it seems like you've been through quite a bit. Glad to see it looks like you're doing better. Ditto on BB being a life-saver.