Looking for Buddies - LT High dose Xanax direct taper 1/2 way there!

[[Di...]]

Hi Debbie,

Thank you !! I agree, I have no idea how some of these doctor's even got their medical license.  The one that put me on the ibuprofen at such a high dose and for so long - I thought she was great until all that went on.  She would never admit that the ibuprofen is what the gastritis came from.  I also got h pylori and had to deal with that.  I started seeing a different doctor after that and that doctor is the one who put me on xanax at 3 mg a day for 3 months and then just took me off of it cold turkey.  I did not know that is what that was at the time but I got so sick that I thought I was going to die for 5 long months.  It is crazy but that doctor kept sending me to specialist to try to find out what was wrong with me.  She had no idea about benzo withdrawal.  I  think if a doctor does not know what a drug will do, they should not prescribe it! There really needs to be some accountability.  Needless to say, I had to find yet another doctor!!! 

 

Anyway, I am so sorry to hear about your sister in law - that is crazy that they take her off one benzo and put her on another.  But I hear that xanax is pretty much the worst one there is due to it's being so short acting.  They all kick your butt when you try to get off them!  The arthritis and fibro are difficult to deal with and I feel for your sister in law.  I have to say I can deal with them a heck of a lot better than this xanax wd. 

 

My ears are not too bad today but still bothering me and my chest pain today has pretty much gone.  I hope that one stays away.  lol  That one scares me when it happens.  I have to be so aware of all issues when my chest hurts because you never know if it is in fact taper symptoms or it is a real heart issue.  I have been checked many times during this nightmare and the doctors say my heart is fine.

 

My benzo brain has been bad lately too.  I have been skipping words when I type, can not always get the words out correctly when I talk and my memory is shot some days.  If I do not write it down immediately, I forget whatever it is.  I will be glad when that is gone too!!!! 

 

Sorry to make this so long , again.  lol 

 

Take care and I am hoping you have a good week too.

 

Love, hugs and prayers,

Julia  :smitten:

 

Julia, what a terrible, terrible nightmare you have been through I am so sorry.  Thankfully you have a good doctor now.

 

Praying your week is good ❤

 

Hugs 

[[se...]]

The dizzy thing really hits me hard in the morning.  I found myself bumping into walls.  I am better tonight.  I am so happy to hear it comes and goes and is not constant.

 

We are one week closer to freedom ladies!!! Hugs to all

 

 

 

 

[[Di...]]

Hello everyone,

 

Julia I have also struggled with gastritis in the past, it is so horrible!  I  sorry you are suffering this along with everything else.

 

Debbie sounds like you are having a similar experience, I am so sorry.  Hang in there.

 

I woke up with this huge dry patch on my face (seriously at this point there is something new everyday).

 

Anyone else have anything like this?  Also very very dizzy upon waking this morning.  I almost could not get in the shower, I am hoping it calms down.  I made my cut and I will see how this week goes.  If it’s rough I will hold next week.

 

 

How is everyone else doing?

 

Laurie,

Thank you.  I picked up a probiotic I'm going to start out slow directions say 3x/day but I'll start with 1/day sure hope it helps.

 

Dizziness is no fun praying it goes away as quick as it showed up.  I haven't had any dry patches yet but who knows.  Good grief!

 

Hope tomorrow is much better.

 

Hugs ❤

[[to...]]

Thanks Debbie!  I appreciate that very much! 

 

I hope you have a good week too!!

 

Love and hugs,

Julia 

[[to...]]

The dizzy thing really hits me hard in the morning.  I found myself bumping into walls.  I am better tonight.  I am so happy to hear it comes and goes and is not constant.

 

We are one week closer to freedom ladies!!! Hugs to all

 

I am so glad it is better tonight!!  :)

 

Hugs to you too!!!!  Hope you have a good week!

[[se...]]

You too Julia, hang in there!!  Hugs

[[ba...]]

Hi everyone.

 

I have been in the worst wd 24/7 that I remember since my way back cold turkey days. No sleep, tachycardia, extreme anxiety, and 20 other symptoms of your choice. Got a 30 minute window this morning. Was stunned on how that felt compared to how I have been. It's closing, hope it doesn't go back to the acute wd I have been gritting through. Completely functionless and terrified.

 

Using my "betternesss" to catch up on housework, I havn't done anything for a while.  My strongest desire is that I will be able to do yoga again late afternoon. If I am as sick as I have been, it wont happen. However, if this wd remains a 5-7 instead of a 10, I think I can do it, and I know I would probably cry through the whole session, out of gratitude.

 

My son is bipolar w/ psychosis. He also is a heroin addict. Have been looking for a facility licensed for both mental health and drug treatment. He was ready to do it, or there would of been no point in setting things up. Been working on that, until I couldn't anymore and had to go to bed for a long time and just deal with my own wd. Spent yesterday in bed with phone off to recover and just be sick with wd and no stimulation.

 

He picked it up, and has found a facility that will take him Wednesday. It is a 3 hour interview starting at 6 a.m.  The facility will then determine if he will be an outpatient for the heroin, or an inpatient for heroin and his mental illness.

 

It is a new achievement for him to do the leg work. It's encouraging.

 

About every 3 years he goes off the wall in one capacity or another, and is hospitalized, this is his life.  This is what we as parents live with.

 

His 3 siblings will have nothing to do with him. He is too toxic and stressful. I know this hurts him, but that is their choice.

 

I hope things go well for him. I don't think he will back out. With him in care, I can really focus on my own ridiculously extreme with draw from my last cut. I am utterly stunned how hard this hit.

 

Loves to all

 

I will respond to your situations as soon as I can. Really don't want to make a post all about me, I am so used to being a mod and encouraging others. My nature is to support and validate, and I will resume that once I am better, it feels weird to be a buddy.  Wanted to share where I am at, and also, I need support.

 

 

 

 

[[He...]]

BD,

 

 

I am happy your son is taking it upon himself to help himself. You have your own addiction and WD to deal with. Are you still at 8.5 g a day as in your signature? Are you holding and just trying to get stable or are you still trying to cut? I hope you are able to do your yoga and that you have more frequent and even better windows. It's totally Ok for you to make it all about you right now. That is to be expected in your circumstances. Thanks for checking in today and letting us know how you are doing

 

 

HM

[[Di...]]

BD,

I am so very sorry you are struggling so bad bless your heart.  I know you are so thankful that your son is getting help and trying to help himself.  Don't worry about trying to take care of all of us right now you need to take care of you!

 

Hugs and prayers ❤

[[to...]]

Hi everyone.

 

I have been in the worst wd 24/7 that I remember since my way back cold turkey days. No sleep, tachycardia, extreme anxiety, and 20 other symptoms of your choice. Got a 30 minute window this morning. Was stunned on how that felt compared to how I have been. It's closing, hope it doesn't go back to the acute wd I have been gritting through. Completely functionless and terrified.

 

Using my "betternesss" to catch up on housework, I havn't done anything for a while.  My strongest desire is that I will be able to do yoga again late afternoon. If I am as sick as I have been, it wont happen. However, if this wd remains a 5-7 instead of a 10, I think I can do it, and I know I would probably cry through the whole session, out of gratitude.

 

My son is bipolar w/ psychosis. He also is a heroin addict. Have been looking for a facility licensed for both mental health and drug treatment. He was ready to do it, or there would of been no point in setting things up. Been working on that, until I couldn't anymore and had to go to bed for a long time and just deal with my own wd. Spent yesterday in bed with phone off to recover and just be sick with wd and no stimulation.

 

He picked it up, and has found a facility that will take him Wednesday. It is a 3 hour interview starting at 6 a.m.  The facility will then determine if he will be an outpatient for the heroin, or an inpatient for heroin and his mental illness.

 

It is a new achievement for him to do the leg work. It's encouraging.

 

About every 3 years he goes off the wall in one capacity or another, and is hospitalized, this is his life.  This is what we as parents live with.

 

His 3 siblings will have nothing to do with him. He is too toxic and stressful. I know this hurts him, but that is their choice.

 

I hope things go well for him. I don't think he will back out. With him in care, I can really focus on my own ridiculously extreme with draw from my last cut. I am utterly stunned how hard this hit.

 

Loves to all

 

I will respond to your situations as soon as I can. Really don't want to make a post all about me, I am so used to being a mod and encouraging others. My nature is to support and validate, and I will resume that once I am better, it feels weird to be a buddy.  Wanted to share where I am at, and also, I need support.

 

Hi Baddove,

I am so sorry you are having a terrible time and I really hope you will get better soon.  I can only imagine what you are going through.  I believe it will get better, as you know, it just takes time. 

 

I know it is hard to be patient when you are going through benzo hell.  '  I am having some issues myself and I just want to feel good again. 

 

I am hoping you will be able to do your yoga today as I know that is important to you!

 

I am sorry to hear about your son.  I am glad he is making the effort to get help.  I commend him for that.  I do know of someone who was addicted to heroin and he is doing well these days.  He had a couple relapses but is doing good right now.  So there is hope there too.  That is a hard one to deal with too.

 

Know you and your family are in my prayers!  Please take care of yourself.  You will get better with time and hopefully soon, this horrible time will just be a bad memory!

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :hug:

[[Wo...]]

Hi everyone.

 

I have been in the worst wd 24/7 that I remember since my way back cold turkey days. No sleep, tachycardia, extreme anxiety, and 20 other symptoms of your choice. Got a 30 minute window this morning. Was stunned on how that felt compared to how I have been. It's closing, hope it doesn't go back to the acute wd I have been gritting through. Completely functionless and terrified.

 

Using my "betternesss" to catch up on housework, I havn't done anything for a while.  My strongest desire is that I will be able to do yoga again late afternoon. If I am as sick as I have been, it wont happen. However, if this wd remains a 5-7 instead of a 10, I think I can do it, and I know I would probably cry through the whole session, out of gratitude.

 

My son is bipolar w/ psychosis. He also is a heroin addict. Have been looking for a facility licensed for both mental health and drug treatment. He was ready to do it, or there would of been no point in setting things up. Been working on that, until I couldn't anymore and had to go to bed for a long time and just deal with my own wd. Spent yesterday in bed with phone off to recover and just be sick with wd and no stimulation.

 

He picked it up, and has found a facility that will take him Wednesday. It is a 3 hour interview starting at 6 a.m.  The facility will then determine if he will be an outpatient for the heroin, or an inpatient for heroin and his mental illness.

 

It is a new achievement for him to do the leg work. It's encouraging.

 

About every 3 years he goes off the wall in one capacity or another, and is hospitalized, this is his life.  This is what we as parents live with.

 

His 3 siblings will have nothing to do with him. He is too toxic and stressful. I know this hurts him, but that is their choice.

 

I hope things go well for him. I don't think he will back out. With him in care, I can really focus on my own ridiculously extreme with draw from my last cut. I am utterly stunned how hard this hit.

 

Loves to all

 

I will respond to your situations as soon as I can. Really don't want to make a post all about me, I am so used to being a mod and encouraging others. My nature is to support and validate, and I will resume that once I am better, it feels weird to be a buddy.  Wanted to share where I am at, and also, I need support.

 

 

Oh Baddove! I’m so very sorry you are struggling and for the stress you have right now. You are so worthy of encouragement and we are here to give you all you need! You have been such an amazing support system for all of us, and I can’t thank you enough for all you help, positivity, encouragement, and love, all while you were going through your own withdrawal and taper process. I commend your son for being strong enough to go for help. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for not only him, but you as his parent. You are all in my thoughts and prayers! I hope you get your yoga in and start getting to feeling better! Sending huge hugs your way! 

[[se...]]

Well said WW, I could not agree more.  You have our endless support here.

[[He...]]

I just want to say I hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday or at least the best Tuesday you can have.

 

  HM

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone, 

Hope you are all having a better day today.

 

My morning anxiety and stomach issues has kicked up a little more the last couple days I don't know may need to hold a few days. 🥺

 

Sending hugs and love ❤

[[to...]]

Hi everyone, 

Hope you are all having a better day today.

 

My morning anxiety and stomach issues has kicked up a little more the last couple days I don't know may need to hold a few days. 🥺

 

Sending hugs and love ❤

 

Hey Debbie,

I am so sorry to hear that!  I am sure it will get better.  Sometimes cuts affect us differently.  Some are better than others.  It sounds like holding for a few days is a good decision.  I hope you feel better quickly!  Anxiety sucks!  So do stomach issues.  My stomach is hurting today but not as bad as yesterday!  Thank goodness.  You just never know what and when something will come up but we do know they all go away so there is hope.

 

Take care of yourself and give yourself a break!  There is nothing wrong with holding when you are not feeling well.  You are doing great! 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

[[to...]]

I just want to say I hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday or at least the best Tuesday you can have.

 

  HM

 

Same to you HM!  Thank you! 

[[Di...]]

Hi everyone, 

Hope you are all having a better day today.

 

My morning anxiety and stomach issues has kicked up a little more the last couple days I don't know may need to hold a few days. 🥺

 

Sending hugs and love ❤

 

Hey Debbie,

I am so sorry to hear that!  I am sure it will get better.  Sometimes cuts affect us differently.  Some are better than others.  It sounds like holding for a few days is a good decision.  I hope you feel better quickly!  Anxiety sucks!  So do stomach issues.  My stomach is hurting today but not as bad as yesterday!  Thank goodness.  You just never know what and when something will come up but we do know they all go away so there is hope.

 

Take care of yourself and give yourself a break!  There is nothing wrong with holding when you are not feeling well.  You are doing great! 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

 

Thank you Julia you always know what to say.  You are doing really great with your taper too.

It's just the weirdest feeling.  My stomach doesn't have pain and not much bloating but it feels like it's just going to explode.  I try to chew gum, alka seltzer gum, ginger, gas pills, famotidine...just can't figure it out.  I guess it's one of those benzo symptoms that does whatever it wants to.  Of course the stomach issue ramps up the anxiety or maybe its the other way around who knows!

 

I hope your stomach eases up maybe now that you've got most of your paperwork done on your loan that will help. 

 

Love and hugs ❤

[[to...]]

Hi everyone, 

Hope you are all having a better day today.

 

My morning anxiety and stomach issues has kicked up a little more the last couple days I don't know may need to hold a few days. 🥺

 

Sending hugs and love ❤

 

Hey Debbie,

I am so sorry to hear that!  I am sure it will get better.  Sometimes cuts affect us differently.  Some are better than others.  It sounds like holding for a few days is a good decision.  I hope you feel better quickly!  Anxiety sucks!  So do stomach issues.  My stomach is hurting today but not as bad as yesterday!  Thank goodness.  You just never know what and when something will come up but we do know they all go away so there is hope.

 

Take care of yourself and give yourself a break!  There is nothing wrong with holding when you are not feeling well.  You are doing great! 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia  :smitten:

 

Thank you Julia you always know what to say.  You are doing really great with your taper too.

It's just the weirdest feeling.  My stomach doesn't have pain and not much bloating but it feels like it's just going to explode.  I try to chew gum, alka seltzer gum, ginger, gas pills, famotidine...just can't figure it out.  I guess it's one of those benzo symptoms that does whatever it wants to.  Of course the stomach issue ramps up the anxiety or maybe its the other way around who knows!

 

I hope your stomach eases up maybe now that you've got most of your paperwork done on your loan that will help. 

 

Love and hugs ❤

 

Hey Debbie,

Thanks.  I think it will.  Mine does what it wants to also, it is sometimes like nervous stomach, sometimes it just hurts and sometimes I do not know how to describe it.  I think having stomach issues makes the anxiety worse  because you are constantly worried about what is wrong.  Fortunately mine comes and goes and this is one of those times it has decided to spend some time with me.

 

Try not to let it worry you, I know it is uncomfortable but I believe it really is just the benzo doing all these great things to us!!  UGGGGG 

 

I hope you are better soon!  Try some distraction if you can.  That is what I am doing right now. 

 

Love and hugs,

Julia 

[[Di...]]

Julia,

Praying our stomachs will both feel better tomorrow!

:smitten:

 

[[to...]]

Julia,

Praying our stomachs will both feel better tomorrow!

:smitten:

 

Me too Debbie!!!  :smitten: :smitten:

[[se...]]

Ladies, I feel so bad you are both suffering.  Thinking of you and hoping tomorrow it resolves.  Hugs..

[[Di...]]

Ladies, I feel so bad you are both suffering.  Thinking of you and hoping tomorrow it resolves.  Hugs..

 

Laurie thank you.

 

Hoping you feel much better tomorrow also.

 

Hugs and prayers ❤

 

[[to...]]

Ladies, I feel so bad you are both suffering.  Thinking of you and hoping tomorrow it resolves.  Hugs..

Thanks Laurie, I hope so too. Mine is a little better so hoping tomorrow to see more improvement.

Hope you are doing better too.

Hugs,

Julia ♥️

[[Di...]]

Hi All,  Hope everyone is doing better it's been quiet around here the past couple of days.

 

I'm ok just the usual morning anxiety, stomach is better been holding for a few days.

 

Hugs ❤

[[se...]]

Hello Diane (Debbie),

 

Same here sx's kicking up and seriously considering a hold.  Glad you are well, probably a good thing you held for a bit.

 

Have not heard from Lori (MaryBeth) in over week, I hope everything is ok.  Julia, feeling any better?