Jump to content
Important Survey - Please Participate ×

Asking Forgiveness Ahead of Time. Please Help


[Fi...]

Recommended Posts

 

I usually don't post until AFTER I read the forum discussion history, but today I have to ask for compassion, as I slept zero hours last night, and between 4-6 for the past week. I work M-F, so that is hard, and I teach college, so that is very challenging, and I'm just about at my wit's end. (who on here is not?)

 

I'm on only 1.5 mg of Ambien (I know it is probably useless, but I'm tapering because I didn't taper the Ativan, and, you know).

Will I die from lack of sleep? Will I lose my job? I am wearing down with the positive thinking and acceptance and kind of panicky.

I'm the only breadwinner here, so I can't lose the job, but I can't keep taking off either.

 

Will the sleepless nights get better? I've tried Melatonin and Benadryl, and neither worked. I considered that vile bottle of Ambien this morning, as it sat near my bed, mocking me. I did the deep breathing, the hypnosis on Youtube for deep sleep, and just could. not. sleep. I am practicing good sleep hygiene with turning off screens about two hours before sleep, but I don't know how many more days I can go without sleep.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[2e...]

Ugh, sorry you’re in this miserable phase, but even though it is a nearly unbearable part of withdrawal and recovery, you’ll survive it!

 

Ambien and the benzos turn your ‘sleep switch’ right off, and it takes a while for those neurotransmitters to upregulate and allow you to fall asleep naturally again. Once you’re off the drug, you’ll probably notice that sleep begins to return in increments, perhaps an hour or two a night over a period of weeks or months.

 

I was on Ativan for nearly six years, and during the final two years of tolerance and withdrawal, I got 0-2 hours of sleep per night. I thought it would kill me, especially since I had a full time job and three hours of commuting a day. Somehow I managed to keep my job, even though I got so sick that just getting to the office became a complete  nightmare.

 

Now, I’m happy to say, natural, drug-free sleep has returned in full measure, and I actually ended up taking leave from work just to indulge in it. Sounds crazy I know, but I found that I could sleep only during the day, so I decided to just go with it.

 

Yesterday I slept for thirteen hours straight, which was amazing, since I literally thought I’d never sleep again.

 

Since you’re already getting up to four hours some nights, I have a feeling you’re going to snap back a lot sooner than I did.  :thumbsup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fish and Ship,

My advice to you is to ditch the Ambien ASAP. Get it all out of your house so you will not be tempted by it. The insomnia is likely to be tough for a while and you are going to think of many justifications for why you will need to reach for the Ambien if it is still accessible. Tomorrow is an important day, I just need one good night of sleep, etc. will constantly be causing to you to want to give in. Healing can't really begin while you are still taking a full dose of Ambien or a benzo, not even just once in a while.

 

I too was beside myself with fear about losing my job, but heighten anxiety is a hallmark of withdrawal. It just looks for a way to express itself. We are taught from a young age that we need a certain amount of sleep to be healthy and to be able to function, but just about all of us who came before you eventually learned that we can get by much better than we ever thought possible on very little sleep, provided that we at least get rest in bed instead at night.

 

Probably not much will help you sleep right now. Your brain chemistry will just need time to rebalance itself, but don't expect that to happen in the near future. In the meantime, you will sleep when you are tired enough since your body will not let you stay awake longer than it can actually handle. Also, at this phase, my advice is to not stress too much over sleep hygiene, that can come later. If watching TV at night takes your mind of your situation long enough to grab a couple of winks, than that is a good thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fish, I feel for you. I'm a recovering Ambien addict also. I agree with aloha. Throw it away!!! Here are some things I've tried which have worked for me. Just some ideas.

 

1. Yeah, the youtube guided med videos. Meh. They are okay for making you calm, but . . .

2. A cup of double strength camomille tea. "Nature's benzo". Really does work.

3. Tryptophan. Just started this and it makes me drowsy.

4. Unisom sleep tabs. They work almost too well. Half a 25 mg tab puts me out like a shot rhino. But you feel groggy in the morning.

5. Indica marijuana. A tincture I make myself. However, it makes you want to eat the world.

 

Those are my best suggestions, Fish. Oh, brother, I feel for you. I waited for sleep to "return" after benzos, but it must have lost my address.  ::)

 

I HAVE to sleep. I drive 150 miles a day for work. And I HAVE to work.

 

Hope any of the above helps. Oh, don't take them together, lol. Try one at a time.

 

:smitten:

 

Best,

 

Katz

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello,

 

I'm right where you are.  I'm about 2 weeks off my taper from Valium and can't sleep for more than 1 hour.... probably less.  Didn't get much more than 2 hours during my whole 6 month taper. I'm up and down at least 5 times a night going to the bathroom and have jet engine tinnitus going all the time... its a wonder that I get any

sleep at all.

 

I too have that little bottle of Ambien staring at me each nite but unfortunately, Ambien is a bezo in disguise that

hammers the same GABBA receptors that we want to start healing. Ive been slicing off a little piece and taking it every once in a while, but I know I can't do that anymore.

 

I have tried every OTC sleep aid there is.... melatonin, Unisom,  etc..... might help for a while but if you use them on a regular basis, they will eventually poop out.... Rx drugs will do this as well.

 

I get my inspiration regarding insomnia and sleep from  buddie ThEwAy2... below is his story.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=191732

 

He posts a lot of answers to people's questions on the Insomnia board so look for buddy ThEwAy2 and

his responses to Insomnia posts. 

 

I know its incredibly hard to believe.... but his answer to his lack of sleep was "I got to the point where I didn't care whether I got any sleep".

 

Not sure if any of this helps but you are not alone.  I've been searching for over a  year for the "holy grail" to

Insomnia and haven't found it yet... except time. 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I LOVE my Benzo Buddies! Thank you, thank you, thank YOU! It is amazing what some support from those who have been there or are going through it can do. The keeping silent has been the hardest part of BZWD. I can't talk about it.

 

So, I've only been on the 1.25 mg of Ambien for three days from 1.75. I've gone crazy slow with this because of the bad Ativan fast WD, so this one needs to be slower. The last little sliver is not for sleep as much as I feel like it's helping with WD symptoms. I do notice that as I go down the panicky waking has gotten better. Ambien made me wake up in a panic - go figure.

 

So, it will eventually go away, and we will all heal. I know. I've endured; I've accepted. This was just a really hard day. But you all made me feel hopeful.  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fish and Chip, Just to add to what others have already said....

 

Yes, those zero sleep nights are really scary and one way your body copes is to amp itself up so that you can get through the day. Well, that of course also cranks the anxiety machine up too! So it's a double whammy of being "tired but wired". THIS IS NORMAL.  Think of the anxiety that comes with it as a side effect of your body's coping mechanisms. This is a GOOD THING because it ensures your survival and ability to get through the day. I have yet to miss a day of work due to zero sleep. Now it definitely sucks, don't get me wrong. But if you are keeping yourself healthy in other ways, it is do-able.

 

Now, I would ask that you give yourself permission to have these thoughts on those days after zero-sleep nights:

 

- My body will get the sleep it needs to survive. It may not be MY idea of good sleep, but my body knows better.

 

- I did not sleep at all last night. That means I'm building additional sleep drive and increases my odds of getting some sleep the next night.

 

- Boy, this makes me grateful to get whatever sleep I can get. 4 or 5 hours sounds pretty damn good right now!

 

- My anxiety is a NORMAL reaction to withdrawal and getting no sleep. This means I am a functioning human being that is on the road to healing!

 

 

Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Zero nights are the worst.  But they will not kill you, not by a long shot.  I and many others on this forum had way more zero nights than we would like to admit to or care to remember.  Other buddies already answered this question very well.

 

The only thing I would add is I work in education too and often went to work on 2 or 3 and sometimes 4 days in a row with no perceived sleep.  Not looking for an award or badge of honor, just saying it is possible even though it feels like you are going to die.  I can live on a lot less sleep than I ever imagined was possible since I was a very good sleeper for 50+ years.

 

It's not a contest to see who can go the longest without sleep and still work, but we are capable of some amazing things.  4-6 hours is a lot for most on this forum.  You can do some amazing things on lack of sleep if you put your mind to it.

 

True healing will not occur until you are completely off the Ambien, etc.

 

Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been completely off Lorazapam for the past 24 days. It's funny (but not really) when I made that last cut how the insomnia really kicked in. I've had more sleepless nights than I did while I was tapering. I'm at work now, I struggled and maybe got one hour last night. I'm fortunate, the people I work with are understanding. I work in an office/lab environment. On top of the insomnia my head buzzes, my brain feels like a burned out light bulb to put it lightly. If it was just the insomnia with out the head buzzing I could handle it much better.

 

What's real annoying is here at work they posted on the bulletin board these flyers that promote sleep as part of the wellness program. There is a cartoon picture of a woman with a high sleep score she looks great while the guy with unshaven face doesn't look so good. I just wan't to tear that thing down.

 

I'm struggling but what is helping to give me strength is hearing how it's possible to make it through with little sleep and the support from others here.

 

Thank You

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Catch22,

 

Unfortunately I have seen the same thing from lots of others that tapered.  After they jumped, their sleep and symptoms increased. 

 

You are still pretty early on as acute WD usually lasts 30-60 days for most?

 

The head buzzing sucks, but it will fade with time as will the insomnia. 

 

You probably already know that recovery is very nonlinear and UP and DOWN for quite some time for most.

 

Expect the unexpected.  Symptoms can fade only to reappear later and new symptoms can appear out of the blue.

 

Your sleep could improve for days or weeks only to go back to crap again for days or weeks.  But eventually it will all even out and it WILL come to an end. Wish I knew when?  No one knows.  WD is unique to each person for how long it lasts, what symptoms you get and their severity.

 

You have a great attitude and a good place to work so that will really help you get through this!  Acceptance and Distraction are key to getting past this.

 

Try to avoid any other Rx drug if possible. 

 

Be strong and you'll cross the finish line one day...promise! :thumbsup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been completely off Lorazapam for the past 24 days. It's funny (but not really) when I made that last cut how the insomnia really kicked in. I've had more sleepless nights than I did while I was tapering. I'm at work now, I struggled and maybe got one hour last night. I'm fortunate, the people I work with are understanding. I work in an office/lab environment. On top of the insomnia my head buzzes, my brain feels like a burned out light bulb to put it lightly. If it was just the insomnia with out the head buzzing I could handle it much better.

 

What's real annoying is here at work they posted on the bulletin board these flyers that promote sleep as part of the wellness program. There is a cartoon picture of a woman with a high sleep score she looks great while the guy with unshaven face doesn't look so good. I just wan't to tear that thing down.

 

I'm struggling but what is helping to give me strength is hearing how it's possible to make it through with little sleep and the support from others here.

 

Thank You

 

Yup, the worst for me was about two weeks after I finished tapering and then it took another couple weeks before it settled down a bit. You are NOT alone! Keep up the great work and try to do things to settle your mind and body down. Exercise, deep breathing, meditation, yoga, long walks....whatever floats your boat, but pick a couple things and stick to it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm off Ambien now. Two nights in a row with ZERO Ambien (or anything else, btw). The first night was about 6 hours of sleep. Last night was between zero and two. Ugh. I have a headache today, and my benzo body wants some Ambien.

 

How about sleeping during the day? Has anyone ever said "F it" and just taken a nap? I don't see how, at this point, it can hurt, and I can't function anyway. I read that Navy Seals can get four and four in shifts. I'm a 50-year-old with no military experience, but I'd be up for the Navy Seal schedule right about now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Unfortunately that is how sleep returns.  You get some one night and not much the next.  6 hours might not seem like a lot, but it reduces your next night's sleep drive.  You can try napping if you want to, but again that will reduce sleep drive for that night.  I couldn't nap to save my life the first 10 months off.  I think I noticed I could nap during month 12 or 13?

 

You CAN function.  It is just your over active brain telling you that you can't because you were taught that you need 7 or 8 hours every night or something bad will happen.  Not true.

 

I remember when I was in college I could go for weeks on a few hours of sleep per night and didn't think anything of it.  I fought through the tired spells until they went away...on purpose.  Now I enjoy being tired and sleepy.  It's all a matter of perspective.  If you are in the dessert dying of thirst and someone offers you a glass of cold water or a million dollars, which would you take?  Probably the water as the million dollars wouldn't help you if you died of thirst.

 

Early WD insomnia (and later) is the worst. But you can learn to accept it as part of the healing process/journey.  It will get better, but usually is UP and DOWN for quite some time for most. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

THEWAY2,

 

I just read your success story and wanted to thank you. I'm so worn out, but your words offered encouragement and hope. I think taking a break from the benzo site, as wonderful as you all are, is a good suggestion because I tend to obsess on it. This may sound crazy, but it's like my brain is searching, searching for that magical "pill" or cure? And if I just read enough posts, I'll find it.

 

But it's not there, as you say. I have to truly let go and let God heal me. It's in his hands now. My hb took a photo today at CVS where I dumped all my meds from the past year (those I'd taken and those I'd been prescribed but never taken): Ativan, Ambien, Mirtazapine, Valium, Xanax, Poly hist forte (sinuses), and some were multiple bottles. I looked at that picture of me a long time. She looks normal and happy. No one would know she got 2 hours of sleep last night and feels like a wiggy wig...  :idiot:

 

We will heal. We are healing. Our bodies know how to cure us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My hb took a photo today at CVS where I dumped all my meds from the past year (those I'd taken and those I'd been prescribed but never taken): Ativan, Ambien, Mirtazapine, Valium, Xanax, Poly hist forte (sinuses), and some were multiple bottles. I looked at that picture of me a long time. She looks normal and happy. No one would know she got 2 hours of sleep last night and feels like a wiggy wig...  :idiot:

 

Wish I were there to cheer you on!!!  :yippee: :yippee: :yippee:  Cannot WAIT til I can dump mine too!  :thumbsup:

 

xo,

sierra :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, Sierra. My hb always says that it's always darkest before the dawn. Never has it been more true than with BZWD. My benzo flu symptoms came back with a vengeance after I dropped that last 1.25 mg of Ambien to zero. I feel like my brain is oozing out of my head and into my sinuses.  :idiot:

;)dependent on my 10 mg of Ambien every night to sleep. I even got to the point that I Ambien sexed my hb in order to disconnect. Ambien allowed me to avoid any pain or loneliness for a long time. It's a new feeling to face life without the training wheels of drugs. Ativan was the worst thing that has happened to me, and yet, I can see that in some future time I'll look back and say it was the best thing that happened to me. Not particularly today, however...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You'll get there, Fish. Like you, I don't think my last 1.25 was doing anything for me. It was more of a psychological crutch. OMG -- to face the night without Ambien, a drug I had taken for 15 years . . . HELP!

 

But I lived through it. With a little help.

 

Now I sleep pretty well. Just camomille tea last night. And youtube sleep music.

 

Chin up . . . we think we're gonna die, but we won't.

 

Thinking of you,

 

:smitten:

 

Katz

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I usually don't post until AFTER I read the forum discussion history, but today I have to ask for compassion, as I slept zero hours last night, and between 4-6 for the past week. I work M-F, so that is hard, and I teach college, so that is very challenging, and I'm just about at my wit's end. (who on here is not?)

 

I'm on only 1.5 mg of Ambien (I know it is probably useless, but I'm tapering because I didn't taper the Ativan, and, you know).

Will I die from lack of sleep? Will I lose my job? I am wearing down with the positive thinking and acceptance and kind of panicky.

I'm the only breadwinner here, so I can't lose the job, but I can't keep taking off either.

 

Will the sleepless nights get better? I've tried Melatonin and Benadryl, and neither worked. I considered that vile bottle of Ambien this morning, as it sat near my bed, mocking me. I did the deep breathing, the hypnosis on Youtube for deep sleep, and just could. not. sleep. I am practicing good sleep hygiene with turning off screens about two hours before sleep, but I don't know how many more days I can go without sleep.

 

I don't know how long it's been since you quit your benzo. But the bad news is nothing covers a benzo withdrawal except that exact benzo. Even switching from one benzo to another can only be done in a sort of sideways taper, where you slowly taper the one, and slowly raise the other.  So not to be scary, but you want to be aware of which thing is actually underlying your insomnia because it actually does make a difference. 

 

Assuming the best, you can keep using your ambien and tapering it as slowly as you have to.  No biggie.  The biggest problem most people face, and I might catch flack for saying this, is the doctor. The doctor is basically your enemy when trying to come off of a benzo or sleep drug unless you have the 1 in a thousand who actually understands it or has the humility to read about it in depth. 

 

So the first thing I tell people is: Don't tell your doctor you are tapering unless you're certain they understand you need to be in control of your own taper and may have to stay on it.  Sometimes this is pretty hard, because you need a different sized pill to cut pieces off of it, or whatever you have to do. TRUST ME it's entirely worth it.  If you have to spend an entire hour every day making a solution out of your pill and putting it in the fridge or whatever the heck works for titrating/cutting your particular drug. Its WORTH IT.  Absolutely, hands down, without a doubt. The LEAST amount of suffering, the MOST practical solution, is to use the drug you want to quit, in order to quit it, and not add other medications.  Your best bet would have been to do this with the ativan but if ambien is what you've got to work with, it's what you've got to work with.

 

Experience: 20 years clonazepam, cold turkeyed, had 5+ years protracted hell withdrawal, and also have slow tapered it before over year and a half, WORLD OF DIFFERENCE.  I could go 18 days without having any. And no side effects. I only had to take it 1-4 times a month. Only reason I'm here now is because I recently had a chronic medical condition (spasticity) and clonaz is the only drug I had that took away ER level headaches caused by spasticity in my neck muscles, because just by chance, clonaz is an anti-spasmodic. Which terrifyingly, no doctor I've met yet knows this even though you can find it out in less than 30 seconds on Google.  But anyway, didn't mean to go off on my own problem, but it felt like I should be totally honest with you so you can evaluate my advice on your own terms.

 

Keep in mind I only know benzos, I do not know ambien as well as this. So someone out here might have 20 years ambien experience and can give you the best advice on that.

 

I'm sure plenty of people here will give you great advice too, so hopefully something someone says will help you and something will click. I hope I've been helpful in some way. Take care.

 

Oh, also if this makes you feel better, sleeping 4-6 hours is amazing.  You're doing great. If you don't get multiple no sleep nights in a row, thank God with all your heart. No, that will NOT kill you. It will barely even dent you. Even if you feel frazzled. Your body is FINE.  If you start not sleeping many days in a row, and can't break that cycle, that's the only time I'd say, take whatever measures you have to.  Best case scenario you can do what I said up top, slow, safe, slow, safe, that's my opinion.  Use your drug to get off your drug as slowly as you need.  Even if it takes a year or two. It's no big deal and SO much easier than anything else. But then again, like I said, I only know that's true for benzos, someone else here might have ambien advice and if they do I'd consider that strongly.  Research, research, research. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, Tman, for your thorough reply. The Ambien is gone from my house now, as is the Xanax, Valium, and Ativan, so I won't be taking any more of any of it. Last night, I slept. I think it was about six hours, which is the best in a while. I am worried about losing my job, which is a college teacher, and I've laid it out on the line for my supervisor yesterday. I wrote her an email telling her the truth about my illness and basically asked to switch all my classes to online for the remainder of the semester. That gives them an option of keeping me, and I suppose they could let me go anyway, but I told the truth. If I can teach them all online, it will ease up my general stress so I can heal better.

 

One interesting bit on the Ambien taper (and I did taper Clonazepam back in about 2015 although I didn't know what it was I was doing at the time. It just seemed the logical thing): When I woke up from Ambien sleep, it was waking in a panic state. Boom! You're awake! It felt like a terror! As I slooowly cut down my amount, the panic also slowly lessened. It got to be so agonizing with the panicky morning wakenings, and I was hoping that they would end when I got off the last bit of Ambien. Guess what? They did! It felt like what I have read is a cortisol spike, but that is just my best description. I woke up at 4 a.m. today, and I had no panic. I even had a dream! So, to me that is an improvement. Now, if only my job will keep me till I heal.  :thumbsup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, Tman, for your thorough reply. The Ambien is gone from my house now, as is the Xanax, Valium, and Ativan, so I won't be taking any more of any of it. Last night, I slept. I think it was about six hours, which is the best in a while. I am worried about losing my job, which is a college teacher, and I've laid it out on the line for my supervisor yesterday. I wrote her an email telling her the truth about my illness and basically asked to switch all my classes to online for the remainder of the semester. That gives them an option of keeping me, and I suppose they could let me go anyway, but I told the truth. If I can teach them all online, it will ease up my general stress so I can heal better.

 

One interesting bit on the Ambien taper (and I did taper Clonazepam back in about 2015 although I didn't know what it was I was doing at the time. It just seemed the logical thing): When I woke up from Ambien sleep, it was waking in a panic state. Boom! You're awake! It felt like a terror! As I slooowly cut down my amount, the panic also slowly lessened. It got to be so agonizing with the panicky morning wakenings, and I was hoping that they would end when I got off the last bit of Ambien. Guess what? They did! It felt like what I have read is a cortisol spike, but that is just my best description. I woke up at 4 a.m. today, and I had no panic. I even had a dream! So, to me that is an improvement. Now, if only my job will keep me till I heal.  :thumbsup:

 

 

You're welcome,

Aaaaah, I get that reaction from Z-Drugs too! (Well, maybe you're getting something different but here's my story) Every time I ever took zopiclone, the SECOND it wears off, I got rebound anxiety-withdrawal, instantaneously. I think it's because z-drugs suppress your nervous system so hard.  It seems like they suppress it harder than benzos (but don't affect as many areas, and aren't as peaceful, I found them more forceful, and oddly, weaker for sleep, also got headaches with it.)

 

So it's like when it wears off, your nervous system opens up all at once and you get this instant strong panic-rebound. At least that's what it felt like to me. I don't know if there is actual science behind that, I just mean it felt like something like that was happening subjectively.

 

So, I don't know if what you experienced was what I experienced, but that's the best guess I could make.  You may have been having acute, mini-withdrawals every single time the drug wore off.  I got that reaction, I don't know if it's common or not, because all I took was zopliclone and my sleeping problems were too big for that little drug.  But I recognized the HORRENDOUS and instantaneous panic-attack rebound anxiety probably the MOMENT the drug wore off. XD Which was just another reason for me, not to use them to try and replace anything else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tman,

 

Yes! That is how it felt! I have acquaintances who try to poo poo my experience with Ambien and still take the stuff, saying that it's not doing anything but helping their sleep. I just listen gracefully because I know what it felt like, and I'm never going back on it. I'm not going to be any pharmacy company's lab rat EVER AGAIN!  >:(

 

I wish we had some kind of real-world support groups for benzos. It would be nice to really talk to people who'd been through this. I'm grateful for the online support, however, and it's helping my typing skills. I wonder if typing our thoughts, journaling, etc. helps our brains heal?

 

Feel better, my friends!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[2c...]
Yikes. I took a couple of z drugs between 2003 and 2015 off and on. Lunesta, mostly-I tried Ambien and it never had any effect. I took Lunesta some at 9 mg and always quit taking it cold turkey with no apparent ill effects. I don't even recall having any rebound insomnia. I just couldn't take the ear wax taste in my mouth any more that Lunesta caused.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tman,

 

Yes! That is how it felt! I have acquaintances who try to poo poo my experience with Ambien and still take the stuff, saying that it's not doing anything but helping their sleep. I just listen gracefully because I know what it felt like, and I'm never going back on it. I'm not going to be any pharmacy company's lab rat EVER AGAIN!  >:(

 

I wish we had some kind of real-world support groups for benzos. It would be nice to really talk to people who'd been through this. I'm grateful for the online support, however, and it's helping my typing skills. I wonder if typing our thoughts, journaling, etc. helps our brains heal?

 

Feel better, my friends!

 

I don't know if it helps your brain heal, but I do know journaling ANY illness is super helpful.  I discovered a lot that way, or by making mental notes.

 

Certainly social reassurance definitely helps. If someone has been through exactly what you have, and their words can prove it, you know you're on the same wavelength, and they can give you real hope or etc. That's a huge deal.  Reassurance is so needed. And advice from people with REAL experience AND who have read, can possibly save you a lot of trouble too. But I always tell people to do their own research/investigation also because I don't want to accidentally screw something up for someone in case I got something wrong or someone else knows better. 

 

But yah, I've found journalling to be pretty helpful when I have a health issue.  (Whether its body or emotions or whatever)

 

So for example, I'd leave myself notes after taking high doses of clonaz after a while like: Don't go shopping, you aren't allowed to spend on anything expensive. Don't make any long term commitments, etc. for two to four days. Because I could anticipate the lowered inhibition effect and got to know my patterns and reactions.  You start noticing what's your real emotions vs. what is a chemical pattern, like a mini-withdrawal or whatever. 

 

Maybe you get a panic attack at the EXACT same time every day.  That's solvable! You can probably find a reason. At the very least, you can anticipate the attack, maybe even know when it will end.

 

Or for sleep, I learned not to do anything that occupies my mind a certain amount of hours before bed. Or etc.

 

It's how I started figuring out the effects my drugs were having on me, I think. It helps with all sorts of things.  Like when I was on 2mg plus remeron, I could expect 1 sentimental moment RIGHT ON CUE as soon as they both kicked in, I had some kind of sentimental thought, would shed a tear, and then be normal and go to bed. lol

 

I think some of the most important things to write down are your intakes.  People are usually completely unaware of HOW MUCH of an effect a drug has on you, or etc.  And sleep problems, knowing when to exercise, how much, how little, knowing to get sunlight, all that stuff. Body temperature needed to sleep. Even what you eat and the effect that has. 

 

It's different for everyone, but if you're a person who doesn't notice this sort of thing naturally (I don't) and you want to try and find a solution or cause to something in your life, paying attention to patterns can really help you figure something out. Along with research online, if you're on a drug - reading lots of things, or have a muscle or nerve problem - there are absolute amazing experts on youtube. I discovered EXACTLY what muscles were causing my headaches after a neck injury from one of these, all I had to do was press and massage them to feel the effects in different areas of my head. 

 

Now every drug I'm given I research it's interaction with everything else, and etc. etc. I want to know IMMEDIATELY if it has addiction qualities or what kind of problems it can cause, or I can expect, or whatever.  And if I'm put on anything and something in my life changes, body-wise. I'm way quicker to suspect the drug and check how common that side effect is. Sometimes it can really seem like it's NOT the drug. They're sneaky! (And hey, sometimes it really isn't the drug.)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...