Is this a depression symptom?

[[Jo...]]

Lately I've noticed I don't have nearly as much joy in watching TV, playing video games, or reading certain books. It seems so unconstructive, unless it's somehow educational or therapeutic.  I'm even sick of the memes. I can't tell if this is the "no longer enjoying activities you used to" that I hear on AD commercials, or if I'm just discovering myself now that I'm not sedated. Even trying to watch an astronomy show, and I've always loved astronomy, seems pointless now since it would never be relevant other than for conversation. I wouldn't care to read a fantasy book like Harry Potter right now, but I've so much fantasy in the past. I don't care for video games anymore that don't release stress or act as puzzles to solve. Has anyone else experienced this? Am I "growing up" and maturing further? I am confused as to why I feel this way.

[[bo...]]

I am 9.5 months off Klonopin and feel the same way as you are feeling toward things you were once interested in. Most of my interests have completely disappeared since quitting the medication. I used to read every night before bed and now I can't do it at all. I usually spend my time watching Youtube videos about benzo withdrawal or typing on this forum. I used to seek out new music and now I have no desire for that at all. I can't even watch movies anymore. The content of most movies triggers me and I just have no interest for any of them anymore. Once in a blue moon, I get a window where these interests return but it's usually short-lived. I certainly hope this isn't maturing further because life would seem pretty meaningless without hobbies.

[[Jo...]]

Perhaps I'm just able to motivate myself to do things if there's a clear benefit. It's strange, because I seem to be more motivated to make improvements to my life now at the same time.

[[By...]]

I was that way ON benzos and never made a connection why I stopped reading. (Sadly still on them, cant taper yet). Its possible its a WD symptom, depression and anhedonia are WD sxs, so I wouldn't be too surprised

I hope it passes soon!

[[ke...]]

What you describe is a depression symptom. Not just losing interest in those things, but even being repelled by them.

[[Gw...]]

Yeah, this is me both on the benzos and now again in post-benzo depression. I used to be an avid reader, but now I just browse the internet all day...only to get frustrated by how superficial it all seems and then start beating myself up for not being more productive. It isn't that I don't have interests, so much as I lack the motivation to  act on those interests and then get depressed about it. That's the vicious loop that feeds into intrusive thoughts for me. I'm pretty sure it's normal, and will get better for all of us eventually.

 

Gwinna

[[bo...]]

Great description, Gwinna. Almost everything you wrote there applies to me.

[[so...]]

I got this way suddenly the last month or so of my seven month taper.  Incidentally about the time my valium fell below what is generally considered the "therapeutic" dose - 5mg.  You see lots of people on here "hit the wall" at 5 mg. 

 

When I pushed through, at much cost to my family relationships (anger, irritability, pain)  and got totally off, I lasted 5 days (about the same length as with previous more rapid taper - then massive panicky feelings and worse depression.  The concept that I would get better was not compelling.  I was much better on my benzos.  And it takes a week or two or more to get back to where you were. 

 

Now sleeping better than I have in months, and the crazy depression is starting to lift.  What a waste of 7 months.    I think for most there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I realize that this is not what this board is about, but I think its fair to post that this isnt for everyone, and its very important to know when to cut your losses.

 

Anyone feel free to PM me, and I can give you further contact info in that PM.

[[Jo...]]

societygarilc, yes at 5 mg it became rough and stayed rough. It does seem like an almost never ending healing process from what I read here... I think I'm going to give it more time before I consider going back on, though. There have been a lot of benefits to not being sedated, but there were benefits to it also. Good luck, everyone.