Akathisia before I even get started - anyone else?

[Guest [Ru...]]

artistprayer, Just wanted to say, well done on cutting. You're being very brave. I know how hard and scary it is...the terror and feeling completely lost is so common for all of us on here... It's one of the stepping stones to healing. I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

 

The sound distortion/loudness is due to the over-sensitivity of your central nervous system (CNS), as is the agitation.

 

Try to take things moment by moment, and breathe through it as much as you can. You're not alone. So many of us are going through the same thing... I hope you can distract a little, even if it's hard. Baby steps, keep going, and keep reminding yourself to trust the process...

 

Sending a warm hug.

♥

[[ar...]]

artistprayer, Just wanted to say, well done on cutting. You're being very brave. I know how hard and scary it is...the terror and feeling completely lost is so common for all of us on here... It's one of the stepping stones to healing. I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

 

The sound distortion/loudness is due to the over-sensitivity of your central nervous system (CNS), as is the agitation.

 

Try to take things moment by moment, and breathe through it as much as you can. You're not alone. So many of us are going through the same thing... I hope you can distract a little, even if it's hard. Baby steps, keep going, and keep reminding yourself to trust the process...

 

Sending a warm hug.

♥

 

Thank you dear Lara

 

I’ve had a random window today. Of course akathisia is still here but in restless form rather than more intense versions. No idea why I’ve had a window 48 hours into a cut. Of course I’m waiting for the proverbial to hit the fan as it’s just been relentless for months!

 

But I made the most of it by doing puzzles, playing my guitar a little and watching a nature show.

 

I’m wondering if there’s some healing from last year’s cts that have happened. It’s just random and non linear isn’t it!

 

You’re jumping soon aren’t you?

 

Thank you so much as your words yesterday really helped, as they always do. What a scary ride this all is!

 

Healing and love 💕🙏

[Guest [Ru...]]

YAY!!! I'm so happy for you, sweet friend! Enjoy it, and hang on to it...if a wave hits, know that another window will always eventually come along... Until, one day, the window opens for us - permanently!

 

Yes, it is a sign of healing. This is how healing goes. 

 

I'm jumping on Sunday, yes. A crazy mix of emotions right now: terror, disbelief, hope, excitement...back to terror. Yelp.  I've a long way to go, I know, but every bit counts...

 

Just know I'm celebrating with you, AP. I'm smiling. Thanks for letting me know.

 

Much love.

[[...]]

This is such wonderful news, AP 

 

I couldn't agree more with you, Lara. Windows ARE a sign of Healing, and, one day, a window will open up permanently... that will be Life for us all 

 

Lara, I dearly hope your jump goes as smoothly as possible. Becoming benzo-free is a huge achievement, it will be time to celebrate!

 

Love and Hugs 

Julia xxx

[[fu...]]

So glad to hear about the window! To me it's a clear sign that the drug itself is causing it and when it's finally out, the torment will end. Sorry for not posting for days, but I stayed away from all the forums for a while. My terror also let up and I was able to play board games, watch shows and yesterday I took a very peaceful nap in the middle of the day.

 

I'm posting this to give hope. Aka is the worst, but there will be days when we feel better and sometime in the future, this will all just be a memory.

[[ar...]]

Thank you Fuerza.

 

Do you think even though I had it before being on benzos Daily (from cts and drugs before but not as bad as it’s been since cts and then benzos daily) that benzos may be perpetuating it?

 

I’m completely devastated as have had some v bad news about my dog and will have to let her go soon. I feel like I’m losing the plot. This all happened over the weekend. I can hardly breathe, head full of the darkest intrusive stuff, deep DR, the akathisia is moderate, nightmares, very weak physically. I’m a mess. Can’t stop crying. Am I going to make it through this?

[[fu...]]

Thank you Fuerza.

 

Do you think even though I had it before being on benzos Daily (from cts and drugs before but not as bad as it’s been since cts and then benzos daily) that benzos may be perpetuating it?

 

I’m completely devastated as have had some v bad news about my dog and will have to let her go soon. I feel like I’m losing the plot. This all happened over the weekend. I can hardly breathe, head full of the darkest intrusive stuff, deep DR, the akathisia is moderate, nightmares, very weak physically. I’m a mess. Can’t stop crying. Am I going to make it through this?

 

I'm so sorry about your dog, sweetie. I've gone through the same thing and it helps if you spend the last moments with her. It can be heartbreaking, but at least she's not suffering and she knows you're comforting her

 

I had this before daily benzos. Purely from ADs. My guess is that we're very sensitive to drugs and withdrawal. You will get through this. The emotional symptoms you described can also be attributed to akathisia. Try to do the basics. Just eat something, try to drink water, try to practice good sleep hygiene. You're incredibly strong and this extreme low will pass.

[[ar...]]

Thank you Fuerza

 

My dog has picked up this afternoon, but the fact remains she’s reached the limit of treatment and things are touch and go as I had the vet out on Saturday saying she’s at that point.

 

I know I’m going to be devastated and in wd I have difficulty with even the slightest change or stress.

 

Regarding the drugs and akathisia I wish I was off the lexapro and I’ve got Mirtazipine too. I hope coming off the benzo isn’t going to send things extreme (as I’ve already experienced after the cts).

 

Hugs to you

[[fu...]]

Thank you Fuerza

 

My dog has picked up this afternoon, but the fact remains she’s reached the limit of treatment and things are touch and go as I had the vet out on Saturday saying she’s at that point.

 

I know I’m going to be devastated and in wd I have difficulty with even the slightest change or stress.

 

Regarding the drugs and akathisia I wish I was off the lexapro and I’ve got Mirtazipine too. I hope coming off the benzo isn’t going to send things extreme (as I’ve already experienced after the cts).

 

Hugs to you

 

Just take it slow and you should be good. Take care of your dog and if you can, take her out in the sun and pet her as much as possible. Hugs to you!

[[ar...]]

Thank you.

 

I’ve had a few days of lower akathisia but it’s cranking up again now, that awful agitation and toxic feeling all over under my skin. Migraine for last two or three days too. Panicky and scared.How are you doing?

 

I’m thinking of Lara too.

 

My dog is relatively comfortable but I know it’s coming.

 

I find it so hard to do anything but be in my bed if I’m not pacing as it’s the only place I feel contained with the agitation. V shaky and heart pounding.

 

AP

 

 

[[Pl...]]

Thank you.

 

I’ve had a few days of lower akathisia but it’s cranking up again now, that awful agitation and toxic feeling all over under my skin. Migraine for last two or three days too. Panicky and scared.How are you doing?

 

I’m thinking of Lara too.

 

My dog is relatively comfortable but I know it’s coming.

 

I find it so hard to do anything but be in my bed if I’m not pacing as it’s the only place I feel contained with the agitation. V shaky and heart pounding.

 

AP

 

Have this too... I’m with you

[[fu...]]

Thank you.

 

I’ve had a few days of lower akathisia but it’s cranking up again now, that awful agitation and toxic feeling all over under my skin. Migraine for last two or three days too. Panicky and scared.How are you doing?

 

I’m thinking of Lara too.

 

My dog is relatively comfortable but I know it’s coming.

 

I find it so hard to do anything but be in my bed if I’m not pacing as it’s the only place I feel contained with the agitation. V shaky and heart pounding.

 

AP

 

At least there seems to be a wave-like pattern. I had a few goods days and I'm a bit more anxious now, but not as bad as before. I ate cookies a few days ago and got a headache and restless feeling from the sugar. Also, I'm going through some difficult things with my therapist, so that might be contributing too. Right now I'm not even waiting for healing as this poison is still in my body. I'm grateful for a few peaceful moments and sleep.

[[ar...]]

Yes feel I’ve got a long way to be free of this poison and the rest 😕 got some naive hope I’ll be able to get off this faster than I think (ie next year rather than 3 years!).

 

It’s the first ‘break’ in intensity I’ve had since January so it’s a gift but had to wait a long time for it. Don’t know when the worst of this cut will hit. Been a week now. Also depends on doggy situation because that will crush me.

 

Oh yes I have to avoid sugar completely even fruit! Doing therapy will like you say throw stuff up too.

 

Same here just grateful for any lowering and sleep.

 

So wish I wasn’t still on 2 ads as well. I so want off the benzo but how do you heal properly if still taking other drugs especially if there are sx which are hard to distinguish from wd.

 

AP

[[ar...]]

... the mental symptoms can be very spooky but let's remember this: they are an illusion. The world is not the way it appears to us right now...

 

It is part of what makes life wonderful. Our ability to heal from it all. And from having witnessed such horror... I am sure life will be even more magical to us.

 

Julia, thank you for a beautiful post! I learnt from you today, and your words helped me.

 

God bless all on here.

Lara

 

Dear Lara

 

Not expecting you to respond but I wanted you to know I’m thinking of you a lot and you’re in my prayers. 💕🙏

[[ar...]]

This cut is hitting me ten days in plus the stress I’ve had going on.

 

Depression v bad, eerie head, hopelessness, akathisia still lower, just so damn scared I’m not gonna get off this stuff and what it’s doing to me. Have had crippling fatigue to point I can’t type. I have CFS anyway. Am really losing weight.

 

Just looking for hope 🙏🙏🙏

 

Terrified how long this is gonna take and if I can do it

[[Pl...]]

How much did u cut? All at one time? Or microcutting?

[[ar...]]

5%, im dry cutting every 4-5 weeks x

[[Pl...]]

Wow u can handle a lot - I’m so kindled - the tiniest amount I feel - the damage is so great

 

You have this in your favor cutting 5% at once; please keep that close to you

[[ar...]]

Well I’m still experimenting with what I can handle. I’ve got head squeezing agonising depression and terror kicking off again now. So it’s pretty brutal with everything else. But will see how it goes over the next few weeks. Xxx

[[ar...]]

And the crazy akathisia is back when I take the morning Klonopin, severe fatigue and rocking, legs moving, pacing as I can then collapsing and kicking my legs. That part had stopped for the first time since January for about 11 days.

 

Feeling pretty desperate with it all.

[[ar...]]

Losing hope.

 

Akathisia won’t go til off all my drugs? Just about holding on. 😢

[[Pl...]]

Dearest Artist;

 

I don’t think that’s the case absolutely.....perhaps it will wax and wane as we taper... I know u had this before the kolonopin but anything could change..I have this right now too so bad; it’s morning right now and it hits really hard.... I know the pain u r experiencing ....