Do you "crave" your benzo?

[[de...]]

Like others I crave relief from symptoms, that's all. 

 

Dee

[[Ly...]]

Deadwoodgone, you don't have far to go with 2 mg.  Congratulations!  Hope you take it slow and steady and you will be victorious!  So proud of you!

[[Th...]]

Deadwoodgone, you don't have far to go with 2 mg.  Congratulations!  Hope you take it slow and steady and you will be victorious!  So proud of you!

 

Looks like you are on a similar dose as me. Are you dry cutting? How much of an increment do you plan on cutting?

[[Ly...]]

A book I read called, "The Benzo Book," had a chart that listed how he was able to use 5 mg. tablets and 2 mg. tablets to cut down .25 mg. every 2 weeks or as tolerated.  When he cut his 5 mg. tablet, each half is 2.5 and each quarter is 1.25.  When he cuts his 2 mg. tablet, each half is 1 mg and each quarter is .5.  When combining them as he has outlined in the chart he is able to simply make these quarter pill cuts and easily reduce by .25 without all the fuss.  When he reached his last 1 mg., he titrated it using a unique compounding formula he devised.  He had two bottles.  One was with the liquid diazepam and the other was simply the solution without the diazepam in it. He would draw out the amount he wanted that day [can't remember exactly what he dropped down by, but it was incrementally], and then simply filled the dropper to the same amount from the solution without the diazepam in it and replaced the diazepam solution with this equivalent amount of solution.  Thus he always had the same amount of solution in the diazepam liquid but it was incrementally lower in dosage each time he took it.  He did this for 2 months!  It would be considered extreme, but he didn't want to take any chances.  You really don't need to try the liquid titration method at the end like he did.  Simply cut the final .25 as you've been shaving already.  But using the 5's and 2's cut in quarters will save a lot of fussing with the cutting until you get to your final .25 mg.  Hope this helps.  I am not doing well, but I have never done well on or off the benzo's.  Am hoping and praying that I can continue.  I am experiencing severe depression.  Depressive thoughts and feelings only started to manifest themselves a lot when I c/o from the clonazepam to the diazepam.  Am told my genetics don't agree with the diazepam, but I am fearful of switching to something else.  Have been struggling about coming off of this too quickly or not quickly enough if it is reacting with me genetically.  So confused!  Hope this info was helpful to you.  God bless.

[[gi...]]

A book I read called, "The Benzo Book,"

 

I read 'The Benzo Book," too.  I didn't taper, but that book helped me tremendously with other aspects of benzo withdrawal.  It's excellent.

[[Ly...]]

I told some friends and family to read it online [it's free!] and my sister--in-law is purchased the book through amazon [i hear it's currently out of print], so that they can understand my pain and symptoms and know why I can't always be at all their wonderful, happy functions!

I am really suffering.  The benzo book helped and hurt at the same time.  I have a long way to go and not sure i can even make it through a single day many times.  A lot of people praying for me.  I'm sure this is what is saving me.

[[gi...]]

I have a long way to go and not sure i can even make it through a single day many times.  A lot of people praying for me.  I'm sure this is what is saving me.

 

Yes, prayer is indispensable in this withdrawal journey, I believe it helps.

[[Ly...]]

I am contemplating an antidepressant since I have such a long way to go and am severely depressed as of late.  Don't know if I will have the strength to go on if I don't find some relief somehow.  Am becoming non-functional [severely!].

[[gi...]]

I am contemplating an antidepressant since I have such a long way to go and am severely depressed as of late.  Don't know if I will have the strength to go on if I don't find some relief somehow.  Am becoming nonfunctional [severely!].

 

So sorry you're suffering so much.  Some people find ADs helpful in benzo withdrawal.  I see from your signature you've been cutting 0.5mg (11%) valium every two weeks until 2/28/18, and as of then, you decreased the cut to 0.25mg (6%).  I think that's very wise, maybe you should hold at current dose for a while and not cut every 2 weeks until you stabilize.  Some people find it helpful to hold taper for a month or even longer until they feel better.  But I think you've done an excellent with your taper so far.  Experiencing severe non-functionality is unfortunately common in people tapering from valium.  Hang in there, I hope you feel some relief soon.

[Guest [To...]]

I am curious lets say if it is past the time you usually take your benzo - if you really "crave" it?

 

I read in Aston's studies that once you are reducing with valium her patients didn't "crave" it anymore. But at 5 mg - I still do very much.

 

I get pain in my right side, start having breathing issues and anxiety.

 

Curious to see if other people "crave" and what it feels like for you.

 

Honestly, after fully committing myself to CBT/NLP therapies and getting better through various other factors as well (nutrition, meditation, etc.) the last thing I do is crave taking these pills.

 

I only take them because I am dependent on them. Well, I'm physically dependent not psychologically. That being said, I never chased a "feeling" or "high" while using these drugs as prescribed - I simply wanted to be able to live a normal life.

 

Benzodiazepines are irony at it's finest when prescribed daily long term in regards to the last part of my previous sentence.

[[Ly...]]

Ginger127, my genetic testing revealed that my genes and the drug may not have a good interaction.  I NEVER feel good or stable, so I've been trying to hold until that "stable" feeling, but it never comes.  I figure since there may be a bad reaction to my body with this drug and I am never stable, I may just have to get down off of it no matter what.  I am concerned that this taper may end up like my last one.  Although I was doing the taper quite fast [under doctor's direction] the first time and had not done a correct c/o from clonazepam to diazepam and was also finishing up a taper from Mirtazepine, as well.  NOT a good combination as I look back.  I was hoping that this second taper would be easier [even though the kindling] since I would take it slower and I didn't have all the other things going like I did for the first taper.  But the burning skin is coming back with a vengeance and newer more severe side-effects are appearing that are completely debilitating [don't want to get into them here and scare anyone].  It just doesn't look good to "hold" nor to "continue."  I am so confused and no doctor to "understand" and help.  They all think I'm crazy and need to go "higher" up to a more "therapeutic" dose!!!  I just don't know how I'm going to survive this.  I have tried to remain so positive, but the newer symptoms that continue to manifest themselves and the 2-1/2 years I've been going through this has really taken its toll on me mentally and physically.  Having no life and anhedonia, to boot, really makes it extremely distressing, too.  It helps to vent to someone who understands.  Those in my world don't.

[[Gr...]]

I only 'craved' it a couple of times in a crisis during withdrawal.  It wasn't physical craving, it was more like mental craving to get relief.  But it passed.

 

That's exactly how I feel.  I sometimes just feel so desperate for relief and then go back and forth in my mind about "is it worth it" to take a rescue dose. 

[[ma...]]

No, never did. I always took it at night for fear of not sleeping and now that I know it's not helping I have to leave signals to avoid forgetting to take it.