Another BB Alcohol Casualty

[[Be...]]

I went to my pdoc. Worst experience ever. I hate him. Not even sure if I will be able to see a podiatrist with the insurance I have. Is my toe permanently messed up or can I heal it?

By the way you describe it, growing bone spurts will not heal themselves. Please invest in your feet and go to a foot doctor. Self diagnosis is going to haunt you.

[[Ma...]]

I managed to get an appointment for a podiatrist tomorrow. I don't know if I have a bone spurt. Here is a c/p of the x-ray test results.

 

Here is a link of a picture of my x-ray:

 

http://imagemap-generator.dariodomi.de/

 

XR FOOT AP LATERAL RIGHT

TECHNIQUE:

 

AP and lateral views

 

CLINICAL INDICATION:

 

Unspecified injury of right foot, initial encounter

 

COMPARISON:

 

None

 

FINDINGS:

 

There is a small amount of what appears to be new bone in the lateral margin of the proximal phalanx of the fifth toe.

 

There are no other findings to suggest an displaced fracture or dislocation.

 

There are no other significant abnormalities demonstrated on this examination.

 

IMPRESSION:

 

Small amount of flow new bone along the lateral margin of the proximal phalanx of the fifth toe. Correlate with the possibility of injury to the fifth toe.

 

No dislocation.

 

Workstation name: KANTI-PC

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Let us know how the Dr goes - hopefully nothing serious.

[[Ma...]]

I just keep thinking the worst now. I tried posting a link to my x-ray but it didn't work or may of expired. On the x-ray though I don't like how it looks. And when I feel the area on the side of my toe it hurts when I touch it. Im just imagining a crooked pointy horn shaped new bone growth there. I was just hoping this would go away. My doctor wrote a referral to an orthopedic specialist. I'm going to attempt to make an appointment. My doctor was being a dick and told me I'm wasting my time seeing a podiatrist and to go see the bone doctor. My sister was telling me that it will go away by itself. She broke toes before. She was drinking when I texted her though. How do you trust someone's advice when they are drinking heavily.... she's smart though and has medical knowledge but I just don't trust her judgement.

 

 

Here is another link of the x-ray:

https://ibb.co/hEiJpR

[[Be...]]

I just keep thinking the worst now. I tried posting a link to my x-ray but it didn't work or may of expired. On the x-ray though I don't like how it looks. And when I feel the area on the side of my toe it hurts when I touch it. Im just imagining a crooked pointy horn shaped new bone growth there. I was just hoping this would go away. My doctor wrote a referral to an orthopedic specialist. I'm going to attempt to make an appointment. My doctor was being a dick and told me I'm wasting my time seeing a podiatrist and to go see the bone doctor. My sister was telling me that it will go away by itself. She broke toes before. She was drinking when I texted her though. How do you trust someone's advice when they are drinking heavily.... she's smart though and has medical knowledge but I just don't trust her judgement.

 

 

Here is another link of the x-ray:

https://ibb.co/hEiJpR

Hate to say it, that's a potential tailor bunion (google it).

 

Your Doctor is an idiot (sorry) - someone who looks at feet all day (Podiatrist) will know exactly what it is. If you need surgery, then you go to the bone doctor (Orthopedic Surgeon). This is all based on my experience over the past 4 years with foot problems (finally resolved now). 

[[Ma...]]

I'm not sure what to call the abnormality. The tailor bunion pictures on google look completely different. Can you tell what shape it is by looking at the X-ray? My pdoc is a nightmare. He made me cry once when I was tapering Librium in the thick of it when I was struggling with a chronic pain issue. Trying to get a referral to specialist. He doesn't seem to understand that I went all these drugs because I got hurt. He called me schizophrenic basically. He is an arrogant asshole. I'm switching pdocs. I can't stand him anymore.

[[Be...]]

I'm not sure what to call the abnormality. The tailor bunion pictures on google look completely different. Can you tell what shape it is by looking at the X-ray? My pdoc is a nightmare. He made me cry once when I was tapering Librium in the thick of it when I was struggling with a chronic pain issue. Trying to get a referral to specialist. He doesn't seem to understand that I went all these drugs because I got hurt. He called me schizophrenic basically. He is an arrogant asshole. I'm switching pdocs. I can't stand him anymore.

There's bone protruding on the side but then again, I'm not a Dr

Let the Podiatrist do his thing.

[[Ma...]]

Do you think I'll end up needing surgery?

[[Be...]]

Do you think I'll end up needing surgery?

I'm not going to pretend I'm a Doctor - just go in and have questions prepared.

[[Ma...]]

Okay thanks.

[[Jo...]]

I am a recovering addict & whereas I have never had a problem with alchohol I've had several close friends I met in rehab who did. It seems very common for benzos + alcohol to go together but alcohol is deadly as hell in that combination and even especially in recovery. I dont blame you for resorting to something in such a dire time, Especially in withdrawal as a fellow addict who deals with depression to. Definetly try to do your best to avoid it in the future. I used to also jump to easy coping mechanisms in prior withdrawl épisodes. Mainly with opiates. So i know how it is. Stay strong. You can do this.

[[Ma...]]

I saw the orthopedic surgeon today. Didn't go to the podiatrist. Don't think I need to now. He took new x-rays and said it's basically all good and needs to heal. That shadow on the first x-ray image was not a bone spur. It was caused by the bleeding from the blow I took and reabsorbed already because it didn't appear in the new images I think.He said I broke it pretty good and there were two fractures. So I ended up breaking twice. Once on a stool leg the first time on 12/21 and on that box on 1/2. He said it should be better in a few weeks. Big relief.

 

Yeah Jord B. I'm not really a drinker. I'm am opiate addict too. I just got off Suboxone.

 

 

edit: content

[[Ma...]]

I picked up the disk of the new x-ray. I’m a little confused with the initial findings. Since this doctor is telling me something different. Maybe I was a little confused by his explanation too but he said it wasn’t a bone spur. I want to get home and look at that new x-ray now.He gave me a pretty in-depth explanation.  he was an experienced specialist. It’s just weird how the x-ray look different the second time.It may have been more detailed

[[Ma...]]

Here is a snap of the x-ray. It looks much different

 

https://ibb.co/g8fsJm

 

I've been in bad shape these few days. The beer is still messing me up a little bit. Very stressful day. It started out with me losing 500 dollars to top it off. I'm tired of my life. It's like I designed it to be shitty

[[Be...]]

Here is a snap of the x-ray. It looks much different

 

https://ibb.co/g8fsJm

 

I've been in bad shape these few days. The beer is still messing me up a little bit. Very stressful day. It started out with me losing 500 dollars to top it off. I'm tired of my life. It's like I designed it to be shitty

Foot looks a lot better though...hang in there!

[[Ma...]]

This is an old thread but I wanted to update it. You can skip the second paragraph if you want. I just wanted to explain why I drank. I ended up drinking alcohol the night before yesterday, approximately the equivalent of 8 drinks. I haven't drank in over two years, since I made this thread. The following morning I had a slight hangover but felt fine overall. It felt like I didn't sleep the greatest because I didn't. Basically, it felt typical, normal, and a pre-benzo damage type of hangover. As the day progressed, I felt better. I even felt kind of good, almost like I had some type of afterglow from the alcohol. Now the day after, I feel normal. I was not thrown back into any wave at all. I was just wondering if this means that I healed from benzos? Unless, something happens over the next few days, I think I'm in the clear, which is pretty exciting and awesome. My current situation is, I ended up getting a serious dependency to kratom and a small amount of phenibut. I was using 30-40g of kratom a day. I am currently on 350mg of phenibut a day. I quit kratom CT and switched to Subutex a few days ago. I am going to try to taper off the Subutex as fast as possible, I think I can get to 0.75mg quickly and then taper slowly from there, so I should be on it for a month or less. I'll be off phenibut soon as well. Not sure if I'm going to start drinking occasionally but I don't feel I have to live in fear if I have a couple drinks now. I wanted you guys to know that there is hope and this won't last forever. I was someone who tapered slowly but I took a lot of meds. I made some big cuts too while tapering. I took extra meds to cushion the blow from tapering and crossing over but not sure how it all affected my brain. I had to taper off gabapentin and phenibut so that isn't good for the brain either. For whatever reason, I just had a very difficult time tapering benzos compared to any other things I've done. It was horrendous and a 1000 times more difficult than Suboxone, gabapentin, or phenibut. In any case, it seems with enough time, that healing is inevitable. Now, I really just need to come off everything and stay sober. Moderation is essential for any substance but sometimes it is just best to abstain from everything, which is what I will try to do.

 

 

I drank because I was stressed out over something. My OCD was really bothering me over the switch control plate (volume knobs) for a brand new fender amer. ultra tele I was messing with. I thought I striped out the screws or something in the volume knobs, but I don't think I did. Fender just didn't screw the volume control knobs on snug enough (which are removable by this little screw you tighten and loosen) and there was some issue, which made me over turn, clockwise and counterclockwise to the point the damn thing seemed like it striped. I ended up unscrewing the screw and took the knobs off, inspected everything, and it looked fine, and then I put the knobs back on and tightened the screws again. Before I did that I  ended up taking the control switch plate off, which is secured by two screws, and inspected the soldering and looked at the volume knob mechanism switch to see if I messed anything up. It appears I didn't. I initially asked my dad for help getting the knobs back on because I was too nervous and anxious to even deal with it thanks to my anxiety level which is pretty bad right now because I quit kratom cold turkey with the aid of Subutex a few days ago like I mentioned before.

[[Mi...]]

I'm 16 months off Ativan and I don't take any medication. I'm think I'll wait maybe 2 or 3 years for even a sip of alcohol... or most likely I will just never drink again. It is completely not worth it.

[Guest [su...]]

I'm 16 months off Ativan and I don't take any medication. I'm think I'll wait maybe 2 or 3 years for even a sip of alcohol... or most likely I will just never drink again. It is completely not worth it.

My psychatrist said 3 years without ANY w/d symptoms it might be safe to drink alcohol. But only might. He said dont take the risk. He said symptoms can come back bc kindling to benzo. Andxwe all know alcohol is liquid benzo. Would we take benzo again? No probably not. I am so afraid of alcohol i will never ever drink again. But thats me.

[[Ma...]]

I was afraid to drink, and abstained since I made this thread, which was over two years ago. I got really slammed and thrown back into something that felt worse than the original acute WD symptoms.

 

Things are better for me now. I even started working a few days ago. I am currently tapering off 1mg of Subutex and 400mg of phenibut. Everyday I will take a little less. I need about a month to get free. I feel like there is a life waiting for me once I come off these meds. I don't want to go back to kratom but if I ever use it again it will definitely not be large doses. I don't think I will ever take more than 5g in a day again, and not use every day. I rather just have a few beers once in a while if it is not going to cause any problems. I still feel good and unaffected by the alcohol.

 

Not sure if it is a good idea to ever use kratom again because I don't want to end up in this situation again. I don't want to ever have to go through this again. I never expected to get in a situation where I wasn't able to successfully taper kratom. Every time I would get to a lower dose after weeks of tapering, I would just end up binging on kratom, in a never ending cycle. Once I started taking phenibut again things just became even more difficult for me. Some stuff happened with the way I was dosing phenibut, along with the kratom, that made my addiction much worse. I rather not get in to it, but going on Subutex was the best solution for getting off kratom and phenibut. I'm in a position now, if I stay disciplined, I can taper off both substances in a few weeks to a month. I even started taking 5mg of memantine again to help aid the taper. Memantine has always helped me taper opioids and benzos. It doesn't seem to help every one though. 

 

I bumped this thread because I was one of those people that thought it would be risky to have a sip of alcohol. But nothing bad happened. It actually worked out in my favor because by nothing bad happening showed me that I'm not as far gone as I feared. It was a good test to see how damaged I was because it seems you need to have actual benzo WD or to be having real protracted symptoms, to be negatively affected by alcohol. Honestly, I think most of my current issues stem from using kratom and other substances. It is time to just come off everything and let time fully heal me. I'm not going to start drinking lots of booze but I want to drink kombucha with a high alcohol content once in a while or have a glass of wine or a beer. Only problem with alcohol is, I have a hard time stopping once I start. But it is usually because I am drinking because I was stressed out. I think if I drink under normal circumstances or with a friend I should be able to stop at 1 or 2 drinks.

 

It was just a shit situation to not be able to drink at all and live in fear that I couldn't because I was afraid benzos will exact their revenge on me. It was a horrible way to live and I feel a huge sense of relief now that I know I don't have to worry. I think if I ended up drinking too much that I may still be at risk. Moderation is going to be key here.

[[Mi...]]

I'm 16 months off Ativan and I don't take any medication. I'm think I'll wait maybe 2 or 3 years for even a sip of alcohol... or most likely I will just never drink again. It is completely not worth it.

My psychatrist said 3 years without ANY w/d symptoms it might be safe to drink alcohol. But only might. He said dont take the risk. He said symptoms can come back bc kindling to benzo. Andxwe all know alcohol is liquid benzo. Would we take benzo again? No probably not. I am so afraid of alcohol i will never ever drink again. But thats me.

Sundanceshaman-

I'm with you. Besides, alcohol has so many other bad side effects like wasting an entire day with a hangover dehydration etc. Except with benzo withdrawal it wouldn't be a simple hangover. It would be a terrible setback to regret. No one wants to "go back there again".

 

Not that I'm a socialite, but if anyone was to ever insist & be pushy about having a drink I'd probably dump it in the plant behind me, or down the drain in the bathroom, & if they were to see that I did that i'd probably laugh & not care. That's how serious about not drinking again I am.

 

BTW, it's beyond refreshing to see that there's a psychiatrist out there that is benzowise.

[[Ma...]]

My subutex and phenibut taper are going smoothly. I’m hoping I can be finished in a few weeks.

 

I wanted everyone to know I’m not going to start drinking because I believe it will hinder healing and progress overall.

 

I just didn’t want to be scared anymore of what could happen. I really just wanted to be able to have a few drinks socially once in while.

 

I think drinking too much or too often will burn me down. It used to even before I got addicted to benzos. I had 8 drinks which is a lot. But if I had over 12 drinks it could have been a much worse outcome.

 

I’m fine though. I wasn’t harmed in any way from drinking recently.

[[JG...]]

.....

Alcohol really is horrible for an ex benzo user.  It was 16 weeks exactly since I finished my taper when I drank the beer.

 

As a really heavy drinker from age 17 to 47 (US equiv about 24 pack of 5% vol a week plus 1 or 2 bottles of wine @12% vol. a week) I can only say that staying completely off alcohol has made the Benzo detox horror slightly less awful. I mean, it's relative. I still feel godawful most days but I can cope, but I know if I ever went near alcohol, that would be it. I'm dispraxic since coming off Benzos and did my metatarsal in a while ago. Seems that we are all a bit more accident prone once we are recovering. Keep up the good fight, you can do this. 👍👍

[[de...]]

I believe some people might be able to tolerate alcohol post withdrawal, but I m not one of them. 

 

The time I did drink sent me into bizarro world.  I've been intoxicated in my past life, but this was a completely different experience.  Won't touch it again. 

 

Dee x

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Been doing really good recently. I'm on a very low dose of Subutex and phenibut and should be off real soon.....probably a week. I'm doing really well at my new job too. The job is helping my brain a lot. I'm even scrubbing pots and pans and filthy restaurant equipment and people think I'm a work horse, and would never guess I was afflicted by this benzo condition. I even started playing the guitar again. I haven't drank since and haven't really thought about it much. I did buy a six pack of some 6% hard kombucha but it is just sitting in my fridge untouched. I will probably have a few here and there once I finish my taper. I just want to move on with my life and put all this in rear view. I'm not going to forget about it either and I will still take the proper precautions but I'm not going to live in this toxic cloud of living in fear anymore or thinking I'm disabled for life. It is just halting progress to heal even more. I'm not saying to go out and buy a six pack of beer but it is important to move on a little. I don't plan on ever having 8 drinks again though. It will be a rare instance if that ever happens again.

[[Ma...]]

Just wanted everyone to know that I'm getting surgery on the 7th of Oct., for the cyst (ameloblastic fibroma) in my jaw. Not sure what will happen but I'm almost done with my taper. I will be off everything that I'm on in the next few days. I told the anesthesiologist about my drug history, and they are pretty worried about giving me opioids now for post op pain. So, not sure how they will deal with it. He said something about a low dose of ketamine maybe. I said that I don't want to wake up in a k-hole, but he assured me that it will be a low dose and that they can give me benzos if I have anxiety, so I have a little situation with that now. I have to be firm that I do not want benzos under no circumstances, even though I'm pretty confident I can handle a few doses without any serious consequences. I did have alcohol and nothing happened, so it is logical to assume a few benzo doses won't set me back too much. They have to give me midazolam before they anesthetize me, so I didn't want any more than that. I rather just deal with opioids than benzos because I have tools to deal with opioid dependency, unlike benzos. I have kratom, but I do not want to go back to it long term. Preferably, I do not want to take it all or any opioids for the pain if I can. I just wanted to detox off everything and get this surgery and move on with my life. I'm going to put everything behind me. No more research compounds to attempt to heal or improve, no peptides or anything funny, because for all I know, it could have been the cause of this cyst, and I don't want it to come back. I'm going to just stick to natural stuff from now on and focus on diet. I may start microdosing Ibogaine HCl for neurogenic benefits if I do anything experimental again. I don't want to do NAD+ or stem cells because it may mess with my cyst for all I know. I'm basically going to focus on eating a healthy diet and using herbs and psychedelics from now on for healing, just work and stay busy, and moderate stuff like alcohol or other drugs that can be problematic.