Pretty Scared

[[as...]]

Hi All,

 

Well first, let me start by saying that I've ALWAYS had depression.  My entire life.  So, move forward about 15 years and now I'm 26.  I am a vet, I have PTSD and addiction issues.  About a month after getting back from Iraq, (I was sent home after 16 days due to a non-combat related injury) I felt pretty hopeless.  I felt like I had failed myself, my dad (also a vet) and my family.  I started using heroin and three months later, I was addicted.  I was what some people would call a functioning junkie.  I would go to work, pay my bills, keep my house clean and all that good stuff.  But, was hiding from the world.  No one at work really knew that I was having heroin WD's.  As soon as the day was over, I would drive to see my dealer and poof...my worries were gone (for a few hours).  Move forward a little more and the addiction was getting to be a bit much.  I could barley move in the morning, I would have to escape to the bathroom (at work) a few times a day to barf my brains out and I was getting VERY depressed (tried killing myself with ambien and vodka but was rescued by my mom).  So, I decided that I needed a way out.  I NEEDED to get clean...I was killing myself and hurting my family.

 

So, I heard about this "new" medication called suboxone.  It was an opiate, but it did not get you high...just got rid of opiate wd's.  Suboxone is a special medication and only a handful of doctors can prescribe it.  Still going through opiate WD's I went to see my primary care doctor and told him what I was going through.  WOW!  What a coincidence...my PCD was a Suboxone doctor.  He drug tested me (to make sure I was an addict because you can make a killing selling suboxone on the street) and poof I was in recovery.  He also decided to prescribe me 30 MG of Tranxene each day to help with my PTSD.  It helped.

 

Now I am ready to be off of both of these meds.  Suboxone WD’s can be hell, but NOTHING like full opiate WD’s.  Just wondering, does anyone have any advice for staying positive during all of this.  I NEVER look on the bright side of things and when I am dealing with something, I tend to make it worse by negative thinking.  Also, does anyone else on here have PTSD?  Just wondering if I should even go off of my benzo?  Either some encouraging words of wisdom is what I really need right now

 

[[Be...]]

First, I want to thank you for your service to our country.  The fact that you had a non-combat injury that cut your service short in no way dimishes your contributi8ons.  I also want to congratulate  you on deciding to become opiate-free despite long-standing depression and PTSD.  I have family members who are addicted to benzos and opiates so I know a little about how hard it can be to get and stay clean.  I believe having a good reason/motivation for staying clean are crucial.  There isn't any doubt that life can be very hard and the temptation to want to take it all away with a shot or a pill can be hard to resist without that motivation.  Is there something in particular you would like to do in your life, whether it's a job or family or...?  Those can be powerful motivators.  Regardless of your reasons, we will do our best to help you stay positive and support you through the tapering process.  I assume you are getting the suboxone and benzo from a doctor.  Is the doctor supportive of your desire to get off the suboxone (I know you said he thought you would need to be on benzos forever.  ).

[Guest [ke...]]

I came off Hydrocodone in 2007, I also took other opiates because I do have some back pain. I also use to drink. I had to detox the opiates. I can't the Benzo's. I stopped drinking in 2007 as well. I know how hard it is to stop these things..it's no fun, but there's life waiting..there really is, hang in there!

And Thank you for your service as Beeper said. Appreciate it. I have PTSD as well along with Schizophrenia.

Suboxone, I have heard of, I never took it, hopefully someone can give you some info on this.

 

Keryn.

[[as...]]

You know, I'm not sure exactly what I want to do with my life.  I CAN tell you that I want to be there for my family, my wife and my boys.  I've been tempted to go back into emergency medicine but the stress of death and all is kind of scary.  I enjoy writing (wrote a book called, A History in Anxiety: The Poetry of Adam C Smith).  I dunno...I just want to make a difference and not the way the Army recruiters told me I would.  I am getting both meds from my doctor.  He is not supportive in ANYWAY regarding me wanting off the meds.  He wants me to be on both of them for the rest of my life.  So, I suppose I’ve come to a plan regarding the meds and how I will get off of them.  I will jump off from my 2mg a day suboxone dose as it is right now.  2mg is not that much and I should be fine.  The WD’s (for me) last about two weeks.  Not like heroin, but they do suck.  It seems as though I will be taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back regarding all of this.  Right now, I am at two and a half 7.5mg Tranxene pills.  I’m sure I will be back up to 3 once I am off of the suboxone.  I will be taking those to curb the crazy feeling one gets from going off of suboxone.  I will also be taking ambien to sleep.  When coming off of Suboxone, you can’t sleep.  You’re dead tired but your body will not let you fall asleep.

 

So, does anyone have any suggestions on getting off of the Tranxene?  Should I taper down to two pills and then titrate?  Moreover, I take 3 doses a day.  So, during the titration process, should I split my doses into three? 

 

[[Be...]]

Don't worry about not knowing what you want to do, career-wise.  I think you will find that you will be able to think much more clearly when you are off the drugs and then you may be able to figure that all out.  You have a wife and children whom you care about and want to be there for, and I would think those are powerful motivators. 

 

The benzo you are on is a long=lasting one, similar but less potent than valium.  Since it is long-lasting, I wouldn't think you'd need to titrate unless it doesn't come in lower strenght tablets.  For instance, valium comes in 2 mg tablets so people can cut them in 1/4s and reduce by .5mg every week or two.  You can find out from your pharmacist what strength tablets are available for Tranxene and then ask your doctor to prescribe it that way.  If he won't, then you could still taper off using whatever strength tablets you have by using the titration method.

 

BTW, ambien acts similar to a benzo and you can become similarly dependent on it.  It is very short-acting so you might want to consider tapering off of it before the Tranxene.  Just a thought.