Really sad hopeless feeling

[[dh...]]

I wake up everyday not looking forward to anything except getting through it and getting back into bed at the end of the day. I am completely going through the motions right now and can't understand why there's no connection between me and and everything else.

 

I feel sad about past things like people, opportunities, mistakes, lost loved ones and it causes me to have this sense of abandonment. I look ahead of me and it looks like everything I need to correct has to happen now, not in the future, but now and I can't do it because I'm in this place I can't seem to get out of.

 

I always thought I had lots of time, but now it's like the future has brought itself into the present and I now realize I gotta do these things now when I can hardly do anything else, it's overwhelming!

 

I dream about people and places from the past that I should have no reason to have cross my mind these days, they make no sense but leave me with a very empty sunk feeling once I wake up.

 

I really think I'm going through a depression, but I'm having trouble believing this is from the benzo after being off them since July 16, 2010. I get these little anxious waves that cause me to be afraid inside of nothing and then i relive the whole thing over again in my mind, this is wrong, that will never be right, your doomed.

 

I just can't understand why I don't even enjoy my best friends company anymore, why I don't enjoy going and doing this or that, why I can't just snap out of it!

 

I feel so emotional but don't know why?

 

[[Pa...]]

Everything you're feeling is a result of the drug, I was the same way.  These thoughts and feelings will leave you when you're healed and your life will become manageable again.  Professor Ashton talks about what you're feeling.

 

Intrusive memories. A fascinating symptom in patients undergoing benzodiazepine withdrawal is that they often mention the occurrence of what seem to be intrusive memories. Their minds will suddenly conjure up a vivid memory of someone they have not thought about or seen for years. Sometimes the other person's face will appear when looking in the mirror. The memory seems uncalled for and may recur, intruding on other thoughts. The interesting thing about these memories is that they often start to occur at the same time that vivid dreams appear; these may be delayed until one or more weeks after the dosage tapering has started. Since recent sleep research indicates that certain stages of sleep (REMS and SWS) are important for memory functions, it is likely that the dreams and the memories are connected. In both cases the phenomena may herald the beginning of a return in normal memory functions and, although sometimes disturbing, can be welcomed as a sign of a step towards recovery.

 

 

 

[[Mi...]]

They can be a result of the drug, but it's not like those things can't exist outside it either.  Depression and anxiety are real things.  I've felt that same way before I ever took a benzo.

 

So it could be either or a combo.  But all you can do really is keep believing you can get out of it and just work on your thinking.  I don't know what else can be done.  I think I just somehow snapped out of it eventually.  then it comes back sometimes now, but not as often.

[[dh...]]

They can be a result of the drug, but it's not like those things can't exist outside it either.  Depression and anxiety are real things.  I've felt that same way before I ever took a benzo.

 

So it could be either or a combo.  But all you can do really is keep believing you can get out of it and just work on your thinking.  I don't know what else can be done.  I think I just somehow snapped out of it eventually.  then it comes back sometimes now, but not as often.

 

All non factors before the benzo for me, I liked life, was happy with it and had nothing but optimism for my future.

 

Clonazepam has stolen that from me.

 

For now, anyway!

[[Be...]]

 

All non factors before the benzo for me, I liked life, was happy with it and had nothing but optimism for my future.

 

Clonazepam has stolen that from me.

 

For now, anyway!

 

I was the same Way, dhjk1972.  It was only after being on benzos for a few months that this nasty depression descended upon me.  I'm still in the grips of it now, but I know in time, once I have healed, that it will go away for good.

 

Hang in there, buddie 

[[as...]]

how are you, dhjk1972?  your original post is very familiar to me.  i have the same feelings and depression about everything.  i have these overwhelming feelings like everything that i have ever done or said has been a mistake and that i have ruined my life and there is no hope for the future, etc...  it constantly haunts me but i think the severity has diminished.  one thing that helps me is to continually put my focus back on the moment and to remind myself that all that is important is for me to heal.  everything else will work itself out. you will heal and things will work out for you.  healing is what we both need to stay focused on and i think time is the only thing that will ultimately bring that to us.  feel better soon!