Husband Left

[[le...]]

So Im in a hosptial and get that phone call that one that breaks your soul in half my husband "did not marry a weak women, he is done, dont call, dont text, nothing he is done."

 

So now here I set in a pile on the bed , crying at a laptop screen, detoxing off benzos so now I have pain everywhere. In my mind, body and soul. He was the man I married cause he cared because he loved me because he was there for me. Now he has left me cold,alone,scared,single in my time of need. What now? What do I do?

 

I have NO money...like 500 bucks

I have NO job I worked for his family

I have NO hope of finding a place to live cause I dont have credit to get me in somewhere

I have NO friends that can help me with this

 

What now, I cant even afford a lawyer to help get me half of what is mine! He can he has the money the backing!

 

What now??? huh what now? :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

[[Pa...]]

I'm so sorry to hear this Leandra.    I thought he wanted to start a family with you, I thought you two were trying to have a baby?  What about your cancer, is he going to walk away from his wife at a time like this?  Will you still have insurance to receive the life saving drugs you're using to treat your cancer?  I'm so very sorry. 

[[ca...]]

Leandra, I am so sorry to hear this. As far as a lawyer, I know that you can either represent yourself or in certain states they may provide you with a court appointed lawyer. I hope it doesn't come to that situation. I am so very sorry. Please let us know how we can help.

[[le...]]

I thought so too, I thought that is why I was going through this HELL of a detox the risk to my health coming off of these, I thought he wanted a baby with me, I thought I was doing this for my health my soon to be babies health, and for him and now after just 4 days away of him not coming to see me he changes his mind THAT fast , that I dont matter after knowing me for 13 years being together for 5 me standing next to him through his 3 years in prison for herion (which I never ONCE betrayed him) after sticking by him, he leaves me "because I am weak minded and should have just done it his way and stayed home and delt with it" and what had more sezuires there? Risk death? What was I suppose to do ? :'(

 

I contacted a lawyer already they said its a equal share state so half is mine no matter what they may not split totally equal but I will get some money and half of the house for what it sales for and that way I can be set up but its going to take awhile to do so. I will have to start over but I am in college and only have about 5 months left before I can get a better paying job perhaps they can keep me on at his familys job till I get on my feet surely they cant be that mean not after knowing me for so long....

[[dh...]]

My blood is boiling right now!

 

 

[[an...]]

 

 

Leandra, I am astounded reading about what has happened to you.  It breaks my heart.  Decades ago I had almost the same experience with my first marriage, so I have at least some idea of what kind of shock and pain you are in.  I am so very sorry ..

 

 

[[le...]]

Well I am wrong the lawyer called back, because he bought the house with money from a lawsuit about something that happened before we where married then I cant get the house or have him sale it in order to get on my feet. So I am totally messed up now, I get out of the hospital tommrrow or the next day I have no where to go , I have 500 bucks and my car! So I guess I will pick up my stuff get my back seat as comfy as possible and park somewhere safe. I will stay off these damn drugs!!! I know that much and I know that this will be harder now and sleeping in a car totally sucks but I am going to use the bestbuy card to get a car charger for my laptop, ipod and such. Ill find a safe spot to sleep after work I hope they will at least let me keep my job till I get out of college, I have like 5 months left and about 600 to pay off then I can get a job for medical coding and billing I guess while I am here I need to fill out apps online for CNA work cause I have done that before!

[[Be...]]

Look at you, already searching for things you can do to help your situation!  I am bowled over by your courage.  I don't even know him but if he could do this, he doesn't deserve you.  Better to find out what kind of person he is now and not a year from now when you might have a baby to care for as well.  Do you know how much longer you will be in the hospital?

[[uw...]]

I am so sorry about this. I can't believe he would do this to you! I don't know him, but if he would desert you in a time like this, then he may have deserted you at any hardship in your future. He doesn't deserve you. I hope you can figure some things out so you're not living in a car while going through benzo WD. Ugh I feel so bad for you, I don't even know what to say. You are a very strong person and I'm proud of your courage.

 

I hope things look up. Thinking of you -

 

Kacy 

[[as...]]

honey, I am sooooo sorry to hear what you are going through right now.. I know at points like this its hard to believe people can even understand what you are going through.. I can only tell you this my heart TRUELY goes out to you.. and i want you to know you are not alone. anything i can do to help pls pm me anytime I'm worried for you and would love to help you in any way i can. just remember you are young and this is only a small fraction of your life and things will get better you have so many years ahead that will bring great things and i'm sure you will come out of this a better person..one of my favorite quotes of all times which i actually have tatood on me is "tough times don't last tough people do" i know beginning my benzo journey it was hard for me to really believe that even though that has got me through so many hard times in the past.. but it is soooo true.. stay stong and pm me anytime if needed. take care

Ashley

[[le...]]

Thank you everyone I am feeling the same thank GOD we did not have kids to care for and all I have to worry about is ME and getting off this crap and getting back on my feet. I need to finish what little bit I have left of my college to become a Medical Coding and Billing Spec. and then I can get a job that pays well....

 

Thank you everyone for your support on here its amazing I came here for help understanding benzos the withdrawls and support of knowing I am not going to die right now and you guys give me strength in places I did not even ask for !!!!

 

 

AMAZING

 

Thank you all again!

 

 

PS- Ill be getting out of hospital today or tommrrow, and then Wen I have lined up a place here in my hometown thats 50 bucks for a 7 day detox that said they would help me the rest of the way off the drug and watch me for anything that may go wrong. So I only have one or two days to worry about but I am not all the way off yet still on the doctors taper I AM GOING To stick to it as I have made it this far not backing up NOW dang it!

[[ve...]]

Hi.  I am sorry to hear about your situation Leandra.  I am not a lawyer but I believe a marriage that is more than ten years is considered "long term" in some states and there may be more benefits for you in terms of alimony.  Also, if the state you live in is community property, you should have rights to any savings you both accumulated.  In addition, even if the money put down on the house may not be yours, if you did not sign a prenuptual agreement giving up your rights to the home,  I believe if you worked and helped pay the mortgage with money you both earned, I believe you may have some right to any appreciation in the property if you both paid for house mortgage, any improvements to the property... Again, I'm not a lawyer so check things out carefully.  

 

Best of luck with the rest of your taper and hang in there. You sound like you have a positive attitude about finishing school and getting off the benzo .

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[Be...]]

Hi Leandra,

 

My heart goes out to you during this difficult time.  Just know that we are all here to support you.

 

 

[[le...]]

just wanted to update everyone...

 

My husband had a break down when I came home

 

Saying he was sorry that it made him really sick to see me in the hospital made him feel helpless that he wanted to FIX me...and when he couldn't all he could think to do was run away..

 

 

We talked for a long time and he knows I am NOT happy with how he acted but love is what we have and I will stand by him but THAT better NEVER happen again cause I have enough to worry about without the stress of thinking what I am going to do with myself if he left me

 

 

But on a good note it did MAKE me think about what IF he had and has me on a plan the "just in case" savings account ha!

 

 

Thank you everyone that has been there for me this week I REALLY needed to hear from others that feel what I feel think how I think and to know that it DOES get better in time!!!

[[ca...]]

I am glad to read your update, and happy that things worked out for you! This process is hard on our spouses as well. Good for you for making a back up in plan, that is always smart to have.

[[uw...]]

I'm so glad you worked through this. My fiance gets upset too when I'm sick and he can't do anything to help me. It's hard on all of us.

 

 

[[ve...]]

Glad to hear you and your husband were able to work things out .  It's so important to have a good support system at home during this process.

 

Best,

 

V