Over 60 help and support.

[[Ba...]]

 

Hi, have an eye question.

 

2 1/2 yrs ago when acute hit me, thought I was going blind.  Dim vision, awful night vision,haloes around lights,  looked like i was seeing through yellow cheese cloth.

 

Was terrified and went to ER, but ERs being awful, I left after endless wait after some hrs.

 

Anyhw, a later dr did not see anything other than tiny cataracts that would not do this .  She said was systemic.

---

 

FFW to now.... very cloudy vision, no colors much at night at all, glare, haloes, lght sensitivity....  a dr. said I have small catarats, but don't know howthey compare to the other ones!  Vision sucks so have to get new glasses or contacts.  How long do I wait see if vision maybe gets better?  I really don't like this situation...  thx....

[[Co...]]

Lil, I understand what you mean. I want the pure pleasure back. Espy

Me, too. I want a life. Georgie

[[de...]]

I dont post often but I am at my wits end and need some input. I turned 60 in January..and not sure if any of you have this problem..so I am posting on a few threads to see if i am the only one.

 

Does anyone else's mind feel like it is always speeding along processing thoughts?

Like your thinking about things and stressing about things constantly? I cant stop. Its like my mind is on speed and its hard to talk to others like my husband because my thoughts are all over the place. And he thinks i am trying to control him and he said why are you like this i cant get a word in edge wise and I can never finish a sentence.

 

Went to my first psychiatrist appt on friday i have been seeing a psychologist for months now but with so much stress from my daughter thats 28 and back home my hr has been consumed about her and what to do rather than working on me.

 

So now I am trying not to speak to anyone at home unless I am asked something and I feel like I am going to implode. And now i have everyone asking me whats wrong,

 

The psychiatrist picked up on it and said she would suggest either i take more k when i feel like i am in a stressed situation (not happening) and then she offered me a script of gabapentin (I know to many people struggling to get off of that one too) and i told her how addicting it was and she said i was mistaken. She tried to convince me its ok to take just a bit more of k when stressed to calm my brain and help me. I just listened and told her thank you and have a nice day.

 

I would appreciate any help with my problem I feel like i am losing my family..but to be honest i think i have always been this way with being on k for 38 yrs. I am desperate to change but not sure what coping skills might help either.

 

And so glad i found a group for people who are older and still trying to get off of these things.

 

deep

[[Co...]]

I dont post often but I am at my wits end and need some input. I turned 60 in January..and not sure if any of you have this problem..so I am posting on a few threads to see if i am the only one.

 

Does anyone else's mind feel like it is always speeding along processing thoughts?

Like your thinking about things and stressing about things constantly? I cant stop. Its like my mind is on speed and its hard to talk to others like my husband because my thoughts are all over the place. And he thinks i am trying to control him and he said why are you like this i cant get a word in edge wise and I can never finish a sentence.

 

Went to my first psychiatrist appt on friday i have been seeing a psychologist for months now but with so much stress from my daughter thats 28 and back home my hr has been consumed about her and what to do rather than working on me.

 

So now I am trying not to speak to anyone at home unless I am asked something and I feel like I am going to implode. And now i have everyone asking me whats wrong,

 

The psychiatrist picked up on it and said she would suggest either i take more k when i feel like i am in a stressed situation (not happening) and then she offered me a script of gabapentin (I know to many people struggling to get off of that one too) and i told her how addicting it was and she said i was mistaken. She tried to convince me its ok to take just a bit more of k when stressed to calm my brain and help me. I just listened and told her thank you and have a nice day.

 

I would appreciate any help with my problem I feel like i am losing my family..but to be honest i think i have always been this way with being on k for 38 yrs. I am desperate to change but not sure what coping skills might help either.

 

And so glad i found a group for people who are older and still trying to get off of these things.

 

deep

 

 

Hi Deepcanyon,

 

I read your post .

From my own experience I know when on a benzo or in withdrawal , our system is overactive, over sensitive.

Thoughts can be rushing , the stress level high, especially when you have real reasons for it.

What helped me in such moments was writing down the thoughts.

No matter what thoughts, just write them.

 

Not even the close family members cannot understand what you feel.

You are right , trying not to share.

It makes you feel more lonely when not understood.

 

Also breathing excercises are helping , clean the mind, name thoughts ‘Thoughts’ and let them pass.

 

I think you were very brave and very right not to listen to the psychiatrist!

More benzo will not be a solution.

It is difficult to change lifetime habits but Never Impossible!

Self help, willingness to do it Slowly, the help we all get on the BB, communicating with people who do understand what you are going through, are tools to achieve it.

 

Much strength continuing the taper.

You did a great job until now, keep going.

Modify message

 

 

[[...]]

Hi Barbara, Pat from England. I  too have a lot of visual disturbance- all from

the drugs- optic nerves severely affected. I too have cataracts which are

not affecting vision although I cannot read. At one point I too thought I was

going blind but have severe blurring. My vision has always been affected but

eye test okay. I have to feel my way around. Pity we can't have the calls.

I understand from my optician my vision has not deteriorated over a year ie.

retina perfect. Pat

[[Ma...]]

Hi Barbara, Pat from England. I  too have a lot of visual disturbance- all from

the drugs- optic nerves severely affected. I too have cataracts which are

not affecting vision although I cannot read. At one point I too thought I was

going blind but have severe blurring. My vision has always been affected but

eye test okay. I have to feel my way around. Pity we can't have the calls.

I understand from my optician my vision has not deteriorated over a year ie.

retina perfect. Pat

 

I have pretty bad benzo eyes too, especially my left eye.  I hate the blurring.  But benzo's love muscles and there are all theses tiny muscles all around your eyes.  It sucks, I totally understand 

[[...]]

Can anyone relate to feeling completely dead yet alive? Pat

[[or...]]

Yes, Pat.

 

I felt that way on my taper and immediately after. We get so "insular" and focused on our misery during our tapers, we do indeed feel dead.

 

But that feeling passes the more you are able to go out and engage in life. It took awhile, but I did get to feeling alive again.

 

So don't give up hope!

 

 

Katz

[[es...]]

Yes, I can relate. I do not feel really alive, just breathing. And it is a terrible feeling. Espy

[[Ba...]]

Me, too.

 

Feel too bad to go out engage much, yet if I can ocialize do feel bit better sometimes.

 

If you have no support I think that the worst thing.  I don't have the answer to that.  People with family are blessed, tho, even if the family is not ideal...

[[es...]]

Katz, your post was very encouraging. I look toward the future of being klonopin free. I truly believe we are all still the people we once were(give or take a few wrinkles). The drugs just mask our true selves. I had known for years that I was steadily becoming more and more empty, sad, fearful, confused, etc. But like so many, I never thought my trusted doctor would give me a medicine that could cause this damage. When I started it in 2001, the internet was not part of my daily life. Now I spend hours reading reviews before buying a new toaster. Funny how I never thought to look back at the things that were already in my life, things I was putting in my body every day! As bad as I feel today, I can honestly say I am so glad I found out what took my life and what I had to do to take it back. Espy

[[Gu...]]

Oh Espy, ditto that! I had such a terrible day yesterday. I never thought lorazepam would be the hardest of all to withdraw from.

[[or...]]

Espy, you'll get there. Baby steps. Slow and steady. And just like Ashton said about benzos: "never go backwards". I think that can be applied to getting out again in life, too.

 

For example, I had trouble driving, I was filled with fear: what if my car broke down? what if I got lost (lol I live in a town of 800; what if I lost my car in a parking lot (yeah, this happened); what if I get stuck in traffic (also happened).

But I made myself drive every day. And even though the "what ifs" happened, none of them killed me. I drove somewhere every single day. I didn't want benzos and benzo-fear to rob me of this part of my life. And soon, I stopped being afraid.

 

So, I believe we can all "do it", whatever our "it" is.

 

Carry on, my friend!

 

 

Katz

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Espy, you'll get there. Baby steps. Slow and steady. And just like Ashton said about benzos: "never go backwards". I think that can be applied to getting out again in life, too.

 

For example, I had trouble driving, I was filled with fear: what if my car broke down? what if I got lost (lol I live in a town of 800; what if I lost my car in a parking lot (yeah, this happened); what if I get stuck in traffic (also happened).

But I made myself drive every day. And even though the "what ifs" happened, none of them killed me. I drove somewhere every single day. I didn't want benzos and benzo-fear to rob me of this part of my life. And soon, I stopped being afraid.

 

So, I believe we can all "do it", whatever our "it" is.

 

Carry on, my friend!

 

 

Katz

 

Great post Katz

[[Mi...]]

Dear Deep, In the first year of my taper I wanted to pour out my thoughts and misery to my husband all the time. I finally realized he just didn't understand, which is common among benzo buddies, and I was hurting our relationship. I found a good therapist who I could talk to and I learned to save my misery for my weekly appointments with him. Also, I could write to this site and get a lot of support. Now, four years later, I am better and my relationship with my husband is great  - he does take good care of me, even though he does not completely understand. My advice is to find a good therapist or friend to talk to, do not increase your benzos and stay away from gabapentin and other drugs. Only clonidine (blood pressure medication for sleep) helped me. Progesterone helped, but now I'm having to taper off it, and it's the same as a benzo.  I wish you the best.

MirandaJane

[[Ba...]]

progesterone helps?

I am not able eto get off with just tapering with nothing else... most people do take something else.

what a gp or whom give progesterone?

 

 

[[or...]]

I am not able eto get off with just tapering with nothing else... most people do take something else.

 

In my experience, people I tapered with did not want to add anything else. They were in enough trouble with what they were tapering . . . why add something else you'll just have to get off of?

 

And why progesterone? Did your gyno or GP ever discuss this with you?

 

In my opinion (and experience), we need to just taper. I don't think there's any magic taper assistance drug. And you're taking Ambien, also, which you're probably tolerant to by now. Your trouble may not be all due to the valium.

 

I know you're having a hard time, Barbara. Most of us did. Can you update your sig to let us know where you are?

 

Hope you are having an okay day.

 

Katz

[[Mi...]]

Progesterone is a "soft" benzo, and now I have to taper off it. I would not recommend it. Some people get it from their doctor and plan to continue taking it forever, which I guess is OK, as you do not build up a tolerance to it. I got an over-the-counter cream, and when I was hospitalized for pancreatitis the hospital staff would not give it to me and I missed a dose and almost went crazy. I don't want to risk that again. I want as few drugs as possible.

MirandaJane

[[Li...]]

Hey Katz

Hope you’re still doing ok.

Question about your tapering. I know you did a LMT, but your signature is confusing to me- where it says liquid daily reductions of 5 mg. How much did you cut daily? Did you take long breaks? Did you taper through symptoms?  If I remember correctly, you were in tolerance to ambien, as I was lunesta.

I rolled Ativan and lunesta both over to Valium. Fairly easy in the beginning. Biting my butt now. Went too fast. Now I’m holding.

 

Also want to ask you about the indica. Did you wait til you were off benzos to start that? Does it help with sleep? Pot used to help with nausea, but since tapering, it caused panic attack. But it wasn’t from the dispensary. Just street pot. We will be a legal state in January, but I know people with medical mj

card that will pick up something for me. CBD did nothing. I talked to a guy at the dispensary that said there’s definitely lots of stuff to help with anxiety- he sells to people coming off psych drugs and people avoiding psych drugs.

xx Lil

[[or...]]

No, ligma, I didn't say this:

 

liquid daily reductions of 5 mg.

 

Look at my sig carefully. I said liquid daily reductions AT 5 mgs. When I got to 5 mgs I had to switch from cut and hold to liquids. I was going too fast and got into a lot of trouble.

 

When I switched to DLMT I tapered at first .03 mgs, then .02, then .01 mgs (.001 mls) daily. It took forever.

 

Yeah, I sure was in tolerance to Ambien. But I didn't want to taper it until I was done with the valium. So I waited. Tapering it was hard, too.

 

Indica mj definitely helped with sleep and general calmness. I used it pretty much continuously from 5 mgs on down. Street mj is a real gamble. I buy mine from a dispensary so I know what I'm getting. I use the highest TCH indica I can find. For me sativas produce intense anxiety -- they rev me up way too much. And, alas, CBD never did a darned thing for me. I've given up on it. Nowadays I don't us mj all the time . . . just when I've had a few nights trouble sleeping.

 

Hope you're doing okay, ligma.

 

 

Katz

[[Li...]]

Thanks Katz

Got it now. Did you do a long hold before switching to liquids? If so, did it help?

I’ve also gone to fast. On the fence about long hold or starting a very tiny liquid taper.

I have all the bad symptoms now. These after a couple weeks of thinking I was starting to get a little more stable. Last cut was April 29, but only .1 mg over 5 days. I think the rapid cut of 8 mg in 3 months caught up to me.

Thanks Katz ❤️, Lil

[[or...]]

ligma:

 

Did you do a long hold before switching to liquids? If so, did it help?

 

No,  I didn't hold at all. I was so sick, and so badly "in the weeds" that I started liquid tapering as soon as I cold figure it out. Well, I guess my about a 2-week period figuring things out was a hold, but I just started in making small reductions.

 

I don't know if holds really help, except psychologically. When I was doing cut and hold, I did some holds, which did not help at all.

 

But, everyone's different.

 

A hold while you figure out how to taper (liquid Rx from pharmacy, vodka + drug + water) might help you. Then, teeny reductions. .01 mgs of your benzo.

 

Whoa . . . 8 mgs in three months? Yikes. No wonder you feel unwell.

 

Hope you get to feeling better.

 

 

Katz

 

 

[[Li...]]

Thank you so muck Katz 😘

[[Jo...]]

I need your help. Please. And your real life expertise. Did this happen to any of you? An entire week of shaking anxiety, from the moment you get up to the end of the evening? I have become terrified of the night. I feel off balance all the time. But mainly I feel a sense of terror and doom in the pit of my stomach. Increased palpitations and heart skips.  Increased insomnia. The first week at 5 mg was not so bad. The second week, my world crashed in.  Here I thought I was out of the woods and this last 5 mg a day of Valium would be a cinch to end. (I started at 40!) Please, any advice on how to hang on? Is my brain just rewiring? I feel like a mixture of terror and hopeless. This will pass, right? It is allergy season, and I am wondering if this makes my taper symptoms worse as I have bad allergies. Anyone?

[[Ma...]]

I need your help. Please. And your real life expertise. Did this happen to any of you? An entire week of shaking anxiety, from the moment you get up to the end of the evening? I have become terrified of the night. I feel off balance all the time. But mainly I feel a sense of terror and doom in the pit of my stomach. Increased palpitations and heart skips.  Increased insomnia. The first week at 5 mg was not so bad. The second week, my world crashed in.  Here I thought I was out of the woods and this last 5 mg a day of Valium would be a cinch to end. (I started at 40!) Please, any advice on how to hang on? Is my brain just rewiring? I feel like a mixture of terror and hopeless. This will pass, right? It is allergy season, and I am wondering if this makes my taper symptoms worse as I have bad allergies. Anyone?

 

Hey Joy, let's get the easy question out of the way first.  Yes bad allergies can make you feel worse during withdrawal, you just feel yuckier.  Is that a word?

I am looking at your signature and you have really gone fast, especially these last 6 months.  Your cuts have been huge, I am afraid that has caught up with you and there is a good chance , imo, they could continue to ramp up for awhile.  Your percentages were getting larger as you were going down, instead of going down, and during the whole process, your cuts were different, really no rhyme or reason.  If I were you, I would do 1 of 2 things, hold, don't change anything until your brain and cns have stabilized.  Stabilized doesn't mean no symptoms, it just means your symptoms are tolerable.

It is going to take awhile, it won't be quick.  You might think of updosing and holding, it may or may not help but you might try backing in to it.  5.5, see if that gives you any relief, 6, how do you feel?

It's a big decision, but imo, you definitely need to hold, your brain and central nervous is craving stability and every time you change something, you destabilize it again.  Good luck.  Hope things improve soon.  Mary 💜