98%...98% of the time...calling it

[[TA...]]

Hi Coop, Thank You so much for saying about the 27/28th Month... I will maybe start to heal more after those months ... It's such a long process for us all and only we know this and our family's....I have read a lot about HH and the vagus nerve especially were it gets irritated by the HH then causes palpitations ect although again many doctors don't think HH have any real symptoms ..there is some groups who suffer on  fb and some are really sick from it all have nausea palpitations bloating and the funny swallow ..some have a cough.  a lot of the abdo tightness and fatigue.. I think there is a lot that doctor's aren't aware of because they didn't study them ...Thank You for the good wishes and I hope all goes great for you.                                                                        Love Tass x

[[Ni...]]

So very happy for you Coop, congratulations.  Best of luck to you always.

 

I do have a question, how did they/you treat your hiatal hernia?  I have one too, and can't seem to get it under control for very long.

[[ro...]]

huge congrats !

[[ja...]]

Congratulations!!!  Your story is Inspiring, full of love and grace, thank you!!

 

Love Jackie :smitten:

[[ne...]]

Congratulations!! 

[[So...]]

Hello lovely lady: I haven't had the pleasure to have known you throughout your journey. I just read your story, and it humbled me so much; almost brought me to tears. You have been through so much and still enduring. You are a resilient warrior and survivor. It is incredible how those little Ativan pills can mess us up. I am half way through my DLMT, and I have had some minor withdrawal symptoms, fortunately. Like you I am trying everything that can help me with my issues. It is pure trial and error; but it has been worth it for me. Let me just give you a bit of advice about the antibiotics you took. I was recently diagnosed with candida overgrowth due to some antibiotics. So I am in the process of repairing my gut: Cutting sugars, taking organic coconut oil, incorporating anti fungal condiments like garlic, ginger, turmeric, probiotics,  cultured foods, bone broth, and kefir. The more healthy bacteria we develop, the better our overall health will be. I truly recommend this to you. It is a lifetime change, but we can do it. Also, I am discovering essential oils. I love them and they are helping me get through insomnia and anxiety. Those hot bath of Epson salts with lavender are amazing! Just keep doing what works for you and keep trying new healthy behavior. Don't ever lose hope! I love your story and wish much healing and a joyful life 

[[Lo...]]

That was such an amazing story Coop. Thankyou and be free buddie. Congratulations!!

[[Sa...]]

Having followed your days and nights of pain/fears and knowing how deep you were in this, it is now so much more amazing to hear that you made it out and to the top.

Congratulations Cooper. 

Lots of love

Saraa

[[ma...]]

Well done Coop!  great story,  you had a rough time, I know.  Congratulations and thank you for sharing your success. I love how you say 98% I am going to take it and run lol.    Thank you for reassuring members and giving them hope, letting them know that there is life after benzos.

 

I wish you the very best for the future

 

Magrita 

 

[[fl...]]

Dear Coop, so so SO HAPPY to see this.  Not sure if you'll remember me from the bad, old dark days of winter 2014,  but I sure do remember you and your kindness.  This success story couldn't have happened to a nicer, more supportive person.  At the worst of times, you were there for all of us, and WE SURVIVED!  I wish you nothing but health and happiness in the future.  May the next part of your journey be the best!

 

Love,

Floc

[[ly...]]

 

 

I'm so happy to read this.  Thank you for the kindness you showed me last year.

[[mo...]]

Thank you very much for sharing your success story.  Congratulations on making it through!!

 

I am wondering about the hiatal hernia.  I got one about 1 1/2 months after a rapid taper off clonazepam and other meds.  I have searched about this but where did you find out this is common with benzos and that it is permanent?  Is there a research study or website you could point out to me?  I want to learn more and print out something for my doctor.  Thanks!

[[Bu...]]

Thank you Coop! I'm back reading in the forum today after practically forgetting it was hear I've been so well for so long. And now, in the thick of what I think is a wave. When I read your words about the "sick-not sick" life, I know that it is. All so so familiar. Thank you for reminding me that it's possible to get to 98 percent 98 percent of the time!

[[La...]]

Great to hear Coop. Glad to read your success story; I was there in the trenches in many a thread way back when.

 

Only forward.

 

laser

[[ml...]]

This is wonderful. So happy for you, over the last 2+ years, since dumping ativan myself, your posts always helped me, taught me alot and encouraged me. I too am doing well and beyond grateful.

 

Blessings to your healed life coop! Go live it with gusto! 

[[Kr...]]

Thankyou for writing your success story;  will taxed it from a post in 2013 where you’d had peeling skin on your hands and hair loss, both of which I’ve had although at 20 months only hair loss and peeling fingernails and some gut issues left to go.  Your story was really heartening; it means so much ch to others to post a success story 💕

[Guest [Tw...]]

Awesome cooper. Glad you recovered

[[gu...]]

What a heartfelt story, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so happy for you.  :-)

Just a word of warning about Versed for others - not to take anything away from your success story - but a single dose of Versed through me into this whole experience for the first and only time.  I would STRONGLY advise anyone to stay away from it, as it is not a necessary drug.  Dr.'s give it for convenience and low cost, according to my cousin who is a surgeon. 

[[je...]]

Cooperten,

 

Did you ever have any memory issues and have they resolved. I serve in a nursing home dining room and it used to not take much for me to remember orders but now it's tough. I don't remember where I got some things that I'm using. This morning I couldn't remember to which co-worker I had spoken to about recycling issues. Good thing English wasn't her first language so she didn't really understand that I was asking her if I had spoken to her or to the other person just 5 minutes ago. It's very BAD.

 

JEANNE

[[Ma...]]

  98% ...98% of the time...I am going to take it and run.

        42/43 months ( I think....stopped counting long ago) This is not going to be one of those long well written re-caps  of the long and winding blind walk through the seven circles of hell....I honestly do not have the heart to re-visit all of it. It was hard....all of it was hard. For me, I started kind of a yo-yo pattern of real improvement with consistent longer windows and plunges back into sx around 26 months,  the infamous "  healing is not a straight line. Indeed it is not, it is about as circular as anything can be. Things continued in that yes- no- yes- no -yes- no benzo tease until a to understand month 32 or so. Then along came a couple of non-serious medical issues , a but of pnuemonia, some gi issues ( I weathered an endoscopy/ colonoscopy with versed sedation without any side effects). Pancreatitis and a hiatal hernia that took some time as I refused ppi  meds ( restricted diet , every day Tums chewies and a colic pain reliever got me through). ....and just in the last month bronchitis that healed . For me, all of the mental sx appeared in the first two years and I got hit with the physical sx in the third year. Amoxicillin and erythromycin  wrecked me a couple of times and sent me back to acute. Tetracycline was the one I could tolerate . I have to say that it was antibiotics that wrecked improvements. I am still afraid of them. ....But here I am more or less in one piece and 98% ...98% of the time...Doing all the things I did before w/d and anticipating new things....without dread and fear. I am present and crystal clear....happy and optimistic. ..My worst persistent ...last to go sx was health fear, I just could not shake it . It was intrusive and constant from my first er trip ( spiked bp ) in acute ( I didn't hit acute until just about month 4) , all the way through until just a few months ago. I chose to do some mop up therapy on that one and it got me over the finish line . ...The 'Healed' feels solid . There were a million times in the past 3.5 years that I was completely convinced that I would not heal , that I would have to learn to live with an unpredictable sick/not sick life of ever present anxiety, fear and physical pain....but somehow here I am ....done

    These are the few things that got me through :  Time Time Time....endless Time.    Distraction...anything that works. In the first 18 months my concentration was pathetic. I watched 30 minute sitcoms, lived on the threads and washed dishes and folded clothes...,over and over.    Routine....when I started to get some windows I developed a routine , the routine of a simpleton, but I stuck to it every day as much as possible. Having a routine helped me feel wisps of normalcy through the cog fog and dr/dp. I have a dog and I had to at least get up every morning and take him out....Those 3 things ....Time, Distraction , and Routine ....and my anchor ...BBs.  I also went to the doctor when I needed reassurance for physical sx. For me it got me through some very difficult health fear torture. I wasn't at the clinic every week...or month, but when the irrational fear was incapacitating I went in

Usually it was w/d , but somewhere in the second year I had pnuemonia without any typical pneumonia  symptoms and was almost hospitalized. ..I also had a painful hernia diagnosed in the same year ( benzos are notorious  for causing hernias as they permanently loosen the esophageal sphincter  ), so I was glad that I went in when I did. I know there are differing points of view regarding seeing the doctor and differing attitudes about doctors , but people in w/s can and do develop actual medical conditions...imo you should never overlook or ignore a persistent , new or worrisome sx. My bench mark was always if the sx was constant without interruption over time I went in . It was always worth it if only for the reassurance , and I have a doctor that I like and trust who has been with me all along the way. ....I tried some herbals, supplements, homeopathics  and vitamins/minerals in the first year. A ton of them. I read articles until my eyes fell out and tried almost everything I read about....all of them, really every single one of them, even the Hyland Calm that people give thier kids made all my sx worse or at best didn't help me at all. That was just me, I know some people have found odds and ends along the way that eased sx. ....My reliable go to was Dr. Teals Lavender Epsom Salts hot bath soaks.......

    My lifeline was the beautiful compassionate funny and wise little band of endearing friends. We made a pact in month 6 to stick together to the end , until we were all finished...The Cave Dwellers ..lol....Life, GreenIce, Nova, Healing Hope, Mrs, Peace2, Drew, Jen, Rachel and Amy....I literally would have reinstated in month 6 if not for GreenIce who talked me through each day and Nova who sat through at least one entire night with me. I came to love these people and owe my healing to each and every one of them...

    The Forum helps so many I would not have known where to start. There are so many good people here....helping each other even though they are suffering.In the entire 3.5 years that I have been on the forum I met only one hurtful person....one out of hundreds....amazing .

      Thank you to the forum, thank you to Colin....and lifelong gratitude and love to the little band of true dear friends who got me through

        That's it....I guess it did turn into a long rambling thing. ..Keep going buddies...find a few special friends here on the forum and support each other all the way through

    "With life only a half breath, speak only love".....Rumi

  coop

   

 

That was fabulous and so honest, truly from your heart, l wish you a great walk down a different road now.  Thank u so much for posting.

[[wa...]]

Thank you for your success story! It’s very encouraging.

 

May I ask how long your setbacks from antibiotics lasted?  I had a bad reaction to amoxicillin 9 days ago at 21 months out and it has me feeling like I’m back in acute as well. I’m afraid I have to start all over.

 

Thanks & I hope you’re are still feeling 98% or even better!