BENZOS WERE PRESCRIBED FOR DEPRESSION-ANYONE ELSE?

[[mo...]]

Hi,

I'm writing this because almost every post I've come across or person I've talked to, was originally prescribed Benzos for PANIC/ANXIETY.

I was prescribed Benzos for anxiety - but for anxiety that developed because my DEPRESSION wasn't getting better.

 

I am in the throes of horrible withdrawal symptoms - SEVERE panic, deep depression and hopelessness, being the main symptoms.

 

I used to experience depression during PMS when I was younger - but it was manageable.

Then when I entered peri and menopause, is when the depression hit me like a ton of bricks - and it's been downhill since then.

I tried to tell the psychiatrists that I believed the depression was related to hormonal drops due to menopause or even possible thyroid imbalances, (which I have since been diagnosed with), or other imbalances in the body.

 

But back in 1991, I was ignorant, Prozac was the BIG THING, and I was convinced by them that I was suffering from a "chemical imbalance" - which from what I read now, was the marketing ploy put out by BIG PHARMA.

So I tried almost every anti depressant, then weaned off of them when they didn't work.

 

So, began years of trying many different psychiatric meds, of which none worked. (From 1991 - 2009)

Since nothing was helping my depression, about 5 years ago, they began prescribing Klonopin and Ambien to me, to address the anxiety, (and insomnia), that was developing over the depression that wasn't getting resolved.

So I was on those two meds for about 5 years.

 

My depression continued to deteriorate more and more.

I hadn't a clue that Benzos and the "Z" drugs, should only be prescribed short term, that they could be WORSENING my depression tremendously, and of course cause severe withdrawals.

 

Then the Big Guns were pulled out....

I was given the "Vagal Nerve Implant", after reading "Out of the Black Hole" by Donovan - (see Amazon.com).

It didn't help in the least.

Then in utter desperation, on the advice of well meaning friends, I went through the h*ll of 13 ECT treatments.

Not a change, except to impair my memory abilities.

Now in retrospect, I realize that the ECT, and all the others wouldn't have stood a chance, even if they were to work - as I was on Benzos, which was causing my depression to deepen, the entire time.

 

What I'm trying to find out, has anyone else began their Benzo journey, with depression being the original factor?

 

I'm trying hard not to feel that once I make it through this terrible taper, with it's worsening panic and depression - and I can address

the hormone, thyroid and other imbalances - that I have a chance of not being stuck with depression for the rest of my life.

 

A very well informed gentleman that I've spoken to, who has made it through the taper and is doing very well now, has told me that in his view all psychiatric meds worsen depression, especially after years of use, not to mention the worsening of depression due to Benzo use, and its consequent withdrawal.

He has confirmed that depression symptoms can worsen dramatically during the tapering process.

 

I become so demoralized thinking that I'll go through this horrible process, still come out "better" - but still constantly battling depression.

 

My research and intellect tell me that correcting hormonal/thyroid imbalances, nutrition, heavy metals, etc, play a tremendous role in helping to cure depression.

But my terror tells me, that the depression will never end, and I'll NEVER have a normal life.

 

I'm really terrified, and would like to hear from others who are/were, in a similar situation.

 

Thanks so much,

mourningperson

[[Wo...]]

Hi mourningperson;

 

From the sound of it, your in the midst of things and let me tell you that from someone who's primary issues is depression (prior to benzos or w/drawl), I can assure you that this terror you're experiencing does go away. I experienced it while w/drawing and it was the worst feeling ever. I'm 6 months off and still having issues, but that very deep depression/terror is something that I only experienced with acute w/drawl and it will let up. Distract yourself best you can during these times to give you some form of relief. Know these are just feelings related to w/drawl and nothing more. But when it does, our cns/ brain is very sensitive so take it easy on yourself once the worse is over. These benzos can leave a residual effect on the psyche + body.

[[Be...]]

MP -  

 

I was originally put on klonopin when I developed restless leg syndrome from taking Prozac.  That was my first time being treated for depression and the Prozac did help me for a while but the benzo was a mistake.  I started about the same time you did (1990) and actually came to BenzoBuddies to get off the benzo and z-drug so I could get ECT for depression.  I'm so glad now I never went through with it.  I do think my depression is chemical because when I try to taper off Wellbutrin, it comes back full force.  However, without the benzo or z-drug in my system, I feel the A/D has a fighting chance.  After all, benzos have a depressant effect so not taking them has to make one less depressed.

 

Did you say you did get a thyroid imbalance diagnosis?  If so, are you on medication for that.  I remember a former administrator, Theresa2, had a terrible time from an undiagnosed thyroid condition and all her "w/d" symptoms went away when it was corrected.  I, too, have been throught "the change" and it can be a miserable experience on many levels.  I never took any hormone replacements because my doc didn't believe in them (more risk than reward), but it was tough.  I'm sure all that hormonal upheaval contributed to my depression, too.

 

I know that after so many years and so many medications, you are bound to feel discouraged about getting better, but if my experience is any guide, you can get better.  Always hold on to hope, MP, and keep moving forward.  

[[...]]

Hi Mourningperson:

 

I went through something similar.  Started Prozac in the 1990's, went through all the other ADs and even considered the vagal nerve stimulator implant.  I don't often make the suggestion I am about to make to you because it would be no help to most benzo folks.  However, because your history is a bit like mine and this did help me, I am bringing it up.  Have you tried methyl folate?  I have been taking it for over a year now and it is still working.  If you haven't tried it, you might want to talk to your doc about prescribing it.

 

ntw

 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Hi mourningperson,

 

Are you still taking the Ambien?

[[ti...]]

Dear mourning:  I have been depressed all my life due to bad, very bad childhood, but have been able to function until given benzos.  Now I am agoraphobic and suffer extreme panic attacks.  I don't know....it seems that everyone on these boards gets worse after benzos but maybe it all would have happened without them???  I doubt it.  I never felt this out of body experience until benzos.  You have my symphathy, write if you need help from a lifelong depressive, Kathy.