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Terrified To Be Alone


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I'm really struggling right now with separation anxiety. My husband works from home 90% of the time but needs to start going in at least once a week now. I get horrible anxiety as he is my mental safety net if I need help with our 3 year old. She is in a challenging phase and I sometimes just am afraid of her because of the anxiety of really loud screams and tantrums. I also have to pick her up from preschool at noon and I'm terrified of driving with her as she tantrums and screams in the car and I just panic because of the overload of driving and screaming. I just don't know what to do. The days he goes in are so bad for me I have multiple panic attacks and crying spells that last over a half hour. I bribe my daughter to avoid conflict which is counterproductive to the tantrums but I will do anything to avoid a tantrum. I'm hoping I will eventually get more exposure therapy as he goes in more but I wonder in withdrawal if exposure therapy is even helpful. I knew he had to go in Thursday and I've worried all week.
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Sos sorry you're going through this. It's such a challenge dealing with 3 year olds! I used to get so frustrated with my daughter and her hissy fits. I'd be running late for work and she'd just sit in the middle of the sidewalk and wouldn't budge. I wasted many 1/2 hours begging and dragging her to her preschool so I could go off to work. So frustrating!

 

What worked for me was just ignoring her when she was at her worst. I'd try to let her know that yelling and screaming were not the way to communicate her needs. I'd have to suck it up and let her tantrums slip away, like water on a ducks back. Once she realized that it wasn't working she'd calm down eventually.

 

It's so hard to deal with and I wish you all the goodness in the world!

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I'm really struggling right now with separation anxiety. My husband works from home 90% of the time but needs to start going in at least once a week now. I get horrible anxiety as he is my mental safety net if I need help with our 3 year old. She is in a challenging phase and I sometimes just am afraid of her because of the anxiety of really loud screams and tantrums. I also have to pick her up from preschool at noon and I'm terrified of driving with her as she tantrums and screams in the car and I just panic because of the overload of driving and screaming. I just don't know what to do. The days he goes in are so bad for me I have multiple panic attacks and crying spells that last over a half hour. I bribe my daughter to avoid conflict which is counterproductive to the tantrums but I will do anything to avoid a tantrum. I'm hoping I will eventually get more exposure therapy as he goes in more but I wonder in withdrawal if exposure therapy is even helpful. I knew he had to go in Thursday and I've worried all week.

 

it may be reasonable for you and your husband to speak to her together and explain that mommy is sick and ask her to be on her best behavior when daddy works. Don't know if that will work but worth a try. I raised 3 girls and I was amazed at what a child understands at even a young age.

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Thank you for you kind words of advice. Sometimes walking away is my only tactic. I did try to explain that sometimes mommy is sick and can't play or sometimes I'm sad or tired. She does understand sometimes but now repeats "mommy sad" "mommy sick" all the time and it kills me to hear it so often.
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Thank you for you kind words of advice. Sometimes walking away is my only tactic. I did try to explain that sometimes mommy is sick and can't play or sometimes I'm sad or tired. She does understand sometimes but now repeats "mommy sad" "mommy sick" all the time and it kills me to hear it so often.

 

 

Don't let it make you sad. you are teaching her understanding and compassion. by her response , you know it is working. all the best to you and I hope you feel better soon.

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