Can reinstatement restabilization really take this long? it's been 3 weeks

[[Sh...]]

1mg of Ativan = 10 mg of Valium, if you are only on 6mg it might be not enought to stabilise

 

Man if you want to save years of suffering for Nothing, taper slow, you will stay functionnal, might have disconfortable symptoms but Nothing compare to the years of proctated hell waiting for you if you taper to fast

 

Believe man , i was on 20 mg prazepam wich is like valium, i did Ashton taper from 20mg to 7mg by reducing 10% every 15 days, all was manageable, i was maintaining my job throught it, then stupidly cold turkey the last 7mg because i was bored by the long time it take to taper slow

 

Man i cant describe you what's happened, i lost all my life, i lost now 3 years of my life completly disabled unable to work, to walk, to socialize, to sleep, am in severe proctated withdrawal still suffering hell 28 month off the drug just because i was impatient to taper slow my last 7mg

 

Man if you dont want to end in the proctated area like all people who just did wrong taper, dont do like them

 

the only wait out of this drug is slow micro taper

 

 

This man is telling you the truth. I destroyed my life by trying to out run this shit. It can't be done.

I wish more than anything soneone had told me this at this time last year. Don't let it destroy you, just bed in for a very gentle taper, as long as it takes.

 

I have been toying with the idea of making drastic cuts and practically knocking out 2017 for me for recovery, but yeah that really doesn't seem practical. I think it's just my brain in withdrawl ramping up my OCD symptoms thinking I'm never going to stabilize again.

 

Making healthy lifestyle choices and not watching my body and brain fail after a rapid taper seems like the better option. And I know healing is done on the way down too. I'm just waiting to stabilize.

 

I am struggling with whether I should c/o to valium or not. I don't know if I would suffer similarly, and then potentially have a bad reaction to the valium or something.

 

With my taper I thought I was going at a reasonable speed. When I got down to 2mg I said I was going to go a lot slower so I did. I cut .4mg every 3 weeks. Even that speed wasn't slow enough and I'm still struggling 5 1/2 months off the stuff. It really is crazy. Going fast and deciding to wipe out a whole year for recovery can seem like a good idea at the time and not a big deal...But living through it is a different story. This has been the slowest year of my life and waking up day after day to deal with the suffering and boredom has been horrid. I had to quit my FT job as well. In hindsight I should have kept my job and just tapered off the last 2mg extremely slowly.

 

That being said, who bloody knows with this poison. It may not have made much difference.

[[lo...]]

With my taper I thought I was going at a reasonable speed. When I got down to 2mg I said I was going to go a lot slower so I did. I cut .4mg every 3 weeks. Even that speed wasn't slow enough and I'm still struggling 5 1/2 months off the stuff. It really is crazy. Going fast and deciding to wipe out a whole year for recovery can seem like a good idea at the time and not a big deal...But living through it is a different story. This has been the slowest year of my life and waking up day after day to deal with the suffering and boredom has been horrid. I had to quit my FT job as well. In hindsight I should have kept my job and just tapered off the last 2mg extremely slowly.

 

That being said, who bloody knows with this poison. It may not have made much difference.

 

I feel you. I'm a 24 year old guy with shit to do, I need to be setting up my future, continuing with my education. If I was normal I'd be studying for my MCAT, I want to go to medical school. It feels like that has all slipped away from me, and is either unachievable or will take too long because I'm now in this benzo mess. But all I can do all day is feel like crap and do almost nothing. I still have intense interdose withdrawl that really fucks with my memory and causes my eyes and neck to burn, a couple hours leading up to my nighttime dose. I feel like a dumbass forgetting things and not being sharp with things, I am normally pretty smart.

 

If I don't stabilize on this I don't know what I'll do. Why is restabilization taking so long? That's why I fear it will never come back. I'm pretty much fkd up all day as it is (perhaps because I dont have a job and dwell on my symptoms, but still) but if I were to do a rapid taper................. I don't even want to imagine the symptoms compared to when I was burning at .375. This interdose makes me want to try valium, but I don't know. That could be what breaks me, a crossover, so ... I'm just scared. I took my pm dose at 845 instead of 9 tonight, which was 45 minutes ago, and the burning and paranoia is just starting to go away. This fucking sucks so much

[[Be...]]

'That being said, who bloody knows with this poison. It may not have made much difference.'

 

Very true. All you can do is maximise your chances of it being manageable by being slow. But some people just suffer whatever they do.

 

The one thing you can say with some certainty is that if you are having a hard time going fast, if you continue at that rate it will get worse. And worse.

[[Be...]]

If BAT said that people always stabilise, I would believe them. I don't think any group knows more about this shit than Ian Singleton and his team.

[[lo...]]

I really hope so!

[[no...]]

Hi LHB  I have recently up-dosed after speaking with B.A.T and explained why  on another thread its a long couple of posts I put on there so to save trying to repeat it all here's the link below this post, you can read it on there, and on there. I also bought up that on there before I knew benzos were the problem, I did realise eventually  that whatever it was drinking made it even worse, and when I did work out it was benzos I stopped drinking and smoking on  the day I found out Benzos were the problem and that was two years ago 

 

Also it can take weeks and in some cases up to  2 to 3 months to stabilise on an updose/reinstatement , and some people will feel worse before they get better as well. I have read old posts on here where others did it and said in the beginning they felt worse for a bit then were good eventually. I had tried a one off small up-dosed before but like everyone else thought if it never worked the first time it doesn't work but I was wrong and know better now, you have to be patient and wait.

 

The same as you hold a cut you need to hold an updose/reinstatement  for a while until it stabilises, then you can resume tapering once you feel more balanced its not a cop out or putting off the inevitable sometimes we need to go back in order to keep moving forwards. I am looking forward to resuming my taper once I can sort myself out as on top of everything else I have the neighbour from hell living upstairs making everything 100 times harder and it would be hard enough If I was in a peaceful environment.

 

I intend to move once I get stable then continue with a very slow taper as its not how quick you can get off that counts but being able to live a life with minimal or no symptoms as right now I have no life at all.  Although I do try to keep positive its hard under my circumstances living in this environment while tapering is impossible and I was on a high doses of  different benzos  , and got myself right down but can't go no further right now . 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=153201.msg2265697#msg2265697

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[bl...]]

This has been a really refreshing thread with some good discussion of what seems to be on this site a bit if a taboo topic. You will read nothing positive on the internet about reinstatement and when I came here having no idea what was happening to me was met with doom and told it would be best to rapid taper and that no one stabilises. Bat do this for a living are nhs registered and train doctors and they are not fans if this forum due to inaccurate advice and scaremongering - in fact many people they deal with have been driven there in desperation from this forum. The only people who do not stabilise on reinstatement are the ones who do not give it time and decide at a set point chosen by themselves that it will not happen and then they post that no one stabilises massively generalising from their own experience. Reinstatement I can honestly say has been the second hardest thing after being forced into cold turkey 10 years ago , it is chaotic unpredictable and cruel and the bad days feel worse having had good days and thinking you are there. It felt like it took forever but una at bat kept me going (Ian works for the Bristol tranquilliser project but they run a good helpline too which is national). I never thought I would stabilise but una assured me that everyone thinks that and I couldn't imagine even a month ago feeling as stabke and functions! As I am now and made a cut 2 weeks ago with minimal withdrawals. Bat do not use Ashton they use the nice guidelines which recommend a minimum of 3 weeks bwpetween cuts and that tapers should be patient centred and guides by symptoms. There are a lot of useful downloads on their website. I was going to leave thus site as I don't want or need any advice from posters when I have what j need from elsewhere but I don't like seeing people succumb to ill advised 'groupthink' to the detriment of their health - people have many differerent agendas and some are not always good and (psychology me speaking now) may subconsciously want people to suffer as they did. Anyway I am off back to work on thursday after 2 months keave, I worked through 2 other tapers and hopefully can thus time too so will probably disappear once i am back in the real world plus I have twin toddlers too so I have my hands full. Good luck to you all x

[[ly...]]

 

 

This is a great thread!  I made some mistakes and then stopped listening to the "noise" and listened to my brain/body.

[[Sh...]]

I think the most over said piece of advise on BB is people advising others not to updose or reinstate. If it has to be done it has to be done. There is nothing to gain from suffering relentlessly. The only reason I havent reinstated is because I know its not going to improve my situation.

[[fi...]]

bc i havent read all of the responses you have here - i'm commenting blindly -

 

i updosed and it took me 3 full weeks to stabilize - and by stable i don't mean symptom free - simply better - "stable" in MY mind

 

also - re: alcohol - If I have even 1 glass of wine - it puts me in a tail spin - starts 2 days after the drink and lasts 2 more days - i've seen that some can drink - but i can't touch the stuff - still i struggle - the pressure is always there - spoken or implied -

 

but you might consider ditching the alcohol

 

Good luck -

[[no...]]

Since I up-dosed I had 3 rough days and five  improved days already but people need to know that up-dosing isn't linear either, it can swing both ways until you stabilise and once again I need to say for some there maybe an improvement right off or over a few days but mainly it can take a few weeks to a few month. On a ratings scale of where I was last Sunday when I first up-dosed to how I feel today I would put it at 40% better than I've been over the last few months, it may flip into a wave it may get better. But I chose to updose after being stuck for two years an didn't take doing it lightly

 

But for the first time I'm actually sat up in my clothes not my pyjamas I've been to unwell to even change into a clean pair for 3 months that's how bad its been and I have clean ones here, it hurt too much to get dressed and undressed and I couldn't stand my day clothes touching my body. While I still can't get out in the day due to certain symptoms, yesterday and today I have walked to two places at 4-5am in the morning I've been unable to walk to for over a year, my symptoms have been up and down, but looking at my chart on my PC certain things have improved that I never noticed. I am very aware it can suddenly turn full circle as its not linear too but right now its feels league away from where I was.

 

I have in two minds about upping the dose by another 1mg( witch would then make it a two and a half MG updose)  but over the last 3 days some of my worse painful symptoms have dropped down, and today they are negligible compared to how they were, I will keep updating as I go along.  My only regret is I didn't do this two years ago and suffered absolute hell after being scared by the Dogma on here regarding up-dosing/reinstatement.

 

I spoke to B.A.T about it again today and they also agreed with what Blaggybum said in a post that people who reinstated and said it didn't work should change it to ''I never held the updose/reinstatement long enough for it to work''. Also they don't believe in kindling either but that's another topic. I hope people don't turn this thread into argument central then get it closed down because it differs from what's quite rigid beliefs across the forum.

 

I also bought into a few of them while in a delicate frame of mind but am now through personal experience of what I now remember from  BEFORE joining the forum and since joining the forum viewing many things differently. After all the purpose of this forum is  to give every body all and any available information that may help someone else's situation, nobody is telling anyone to play follow the leader but we all have a right to make  choices. I have tried everything except up dosing I choose to do it am glad I did it no matter what happens its still something else I can put a cross or tick next too, time helps but so does trying something different if something's not working to the point your survival is on the line. It was do or die so I did.

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[lo...]]

Yeah there is no need to turn this into an argument, this has been one of the better threads in terms of responses that I've started.

 

I just can't imagine what my taper will be like if I've been holding my reinstatement for almost 4 weeks now and do not feel good. Skeptical that holding longer will make me feel better but.... I will give it a shot. I think Jan 1st is when my taper will begin. Woo-hoo 2017.

[[lo...]]

Also thank you everyone with your responses, they are wonderful. Mods I hope we havnt broken any rules, and I hope  you see the valuable information

 

Fightformylife; I need to stop being an idiot with alcohol. Using it to feel good at a party, and then feeling like CRAP for like another 4, and restarting then this process over and over. It's very difficult being a previously extrovert 24 y/o male who just wants to enjoy the best years of his life, with his friends, women, etc. I'm sure you understand. But I guess I'll have to give up alcohol for now.

[[so...]]

Sorry, it might be somewhere in the thread - what is BAT?

[[Be...]]

http://www.btpinfo.org.uk

 

The guy who runs it, Ian Singleton, is a legend.

He should be running a department in the government dealing with this epidemic.

 

http://cepuk.org/2014/03/17/video-ians-recovery-subsequent-work-bristol-tranquilliser-project/

[[Be...]]

I have to say that I had assumed from what I'd heard here that updosing and fully stabilising wasn't an option.

I haven't had a single symptom in over 3 months after going up by .5mg for 3 weeks. And that was after what I now believe was a seizure.

 

I don't think it's fair to criticise BB tho - everyone is just doing their best in very trying circumstances.

We're all at sea in a storm that was not of our making. At least here everyone means well. Our only opponents should be the medical and pharmaceutical communities who harmed us so dreadfully.

[[so...]]

Thanks for the links Belfast. Those people do good work indeed.

[[Be...]]

Ian offered to take a call from my GP.

 

Like my GP would phone him, but the sentiment was there.

 

I've encountered a woman here who was about to be CT'd by her GP. This woman got Professor Heather Ashton herself to phone the GP, to explain why it was so dangerous and begging him not to.

 

He thanked her for the call, and CT'd the woman. She had a serious seizure and nearly died, spending months in hospital.

 

Some day, a hard rain is going to fall on these motherfuckers.

[[fi...]]

This has been a really refreshing thread with some good discussion of what seems to be on this site a bit if a taboo topic. You will read nothing positive on the internet about reinstatement and when I came here having no idea what was happening to me was met with doom and told it would be best to rapid taper and that no one stabilises. Bat do this for a living are nhs registered and train doctors and they are not fans if this forum due to inaccurate advice and scaremongering - in fact many people they deal with have been driven there in desperation from this forum. The only people who do not stabilise on reinstatement are the ones who do not give it time and decide at a set point chosen by themselves that it will not happen and then they post that no one stabilises massively generalising from their own experience. Reinstatement I can honestly say has been the second hardest thing after being forced into cold turkey 10 years ago , it is chaotic unpredictable and cruel and the bad days feel worse having had good days and thinking you are there. It felt like it took forever but una at bat kept me going (Ian works for the Bristol tranquilliser project but they run a good helpline too which is national). I never thought I would stabilise but una assured me that everyone thinks that and I couldn't imagine even a month ago feeling as stabke and functions! As I am now and made a cut 2 weeks ago with minimal withdrawals. Bat do not use Ashton they use the nice guidelines which recommend a minimum of 3 weeks bwpetween cuts and that tapers should be patient centred and guides by symptoms. There are a lot of useful downloads on their website. I was going to leave thus site as I don't want or need any advice from posters when I have what j need from elsewhere but I don't like seeing people succumb to ill advised 'groupthink' to the detriment of their health - people have many differerent agendas and some are not always good and (psychology me speaking now) may subconsciously want people to suffer as they did. Anyway I am off back to work on thursday after 2 months keave, I worked through 2 other tapers and hopefully can thus time too so will probably disappear once i am back in the real world plus I have twin toddlers too so I have my hands full. Good luck to you all x

 

I'm glad to see you put this in writing - and the 3 week thing is my story - i feel nothing until 3 weeks - a cut or an updose - 3 weeks.......this is one reason i'm a little scared of the daily micro taper - but i know i have to cut smaller than i was - it wasnt working for me (going down .5 mg and holding - even sometimes for 3 months)

[[no...]]

Sorry, it might be somewhere in the thread - what is BAT?

B.A.T (Battle against tranquillisers) http://bataid.org/

[[lo...]]

I'm still having intense interdose w/d since I stopped drinking a few days ago. This blows, almost slightly psychotic and I'm back on my full .75 dose. WTF do I do... Wait I guess. I can't even wait till 9pm for my dose I have to take it at 7-8

[[no...]]

I'm still having intense interdose w/d since I stopped drinking a few days ago. This blows, almost slightly psychotic and I'm back on my full .75 dose. WTF do I do... Wait I guess. I can't even wait till 9pm for my dose I have to take it at 7-8

 

 

Hi LHB  I have recently up-dosed after speaking with B.A.T and explained why  on another thread its a long couple of posts I put on there so to save trying to repeat it all here's the link below this post, you can read it on there, and on there. I also bought up that on there before I knew benzos were the problem, I did realise eventually  that whatever it was drinking made it even worse, and when I did work out it was benzos I stopped drinking and smoking on  the day I found out Benzos were the problem and that was two years ago 

 

Also it can take weeks and in some cases up to  2 to 3 months to stabilise on an updose/reinstatement , and some people will feel worse before they get better as well. I have read old posts on here where others did it and said in the beginning they felt worse for a bit then were good eventually. I had tried a one off small up-dosed before but like everyone else thought if it never worked the first time it doesn't work but I was wrong and know better now, you have to be patient and wait.

 

The same as you hold a cut you need to hold an updose/reinstatement  for a while until it stabilises, then you can resume tapering once you feel more balanced its not a cop out or putting off the inevitable sometimes we need to go back in order to keep moving forwards. I am looking forward to resuming my taper once I can sort myself out as on top of everything else I have the neighbour from hell living upstairs making everything 100 times harder and it would be hard enough If I was in a peaceful environment.

 

I intend to move once I get stable then continue with a very slow taper as its not how quick you can get off that counts but being able to live a life with minimal or no symptoms as right now I have no life at all.  Although I do try to keep positive its hard under my circumstances living in this environment while tapering is impossible and I was on a high doses of  different benzos  , and got myself right down but can't go no further right now . 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=153201.msg2265697#msg2265697

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

As I posted above drinking made me worse and at times took weeks to get over and I didn't know it was Benzo related

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[lo...]]

Well wish me luck, I don't drink that much and maybe 2-3x a week but it stops NOW.

 

???

[[bl...]]

Dear love and hate Benzo I see you have set Jan 1st to start tapering - there is a possibility you may not have stabilised by then of you may stabilise tomorrow I wouldn't set time limits on it but do you really want to taper when unstable ? Just my opinion - Bristol tranquilliser project and battle against tranquilliser are 2 different groups both based in Bristol wish I lived there they advocate with doctors and run support groups both good but I prefer bat una has more experience of Benzo than anyone I have spoken too and unlike btp are nhs registered but both run national helplines. 10 years ago there was cita in Liverpool run by Pam Armstrong who persuaded my gp to reinstate me after forced into cold turkey hell she saved my life but sadly they are no more as she passed away a few years ago sadly x

[[Tr...]]

It's been about 3 weeks since I reinstated and nothing is happening fast. My vision has returned to almost normal - big thing! But the ear ringing won't let up. There are other 'sides' that won't go away so I'm wondering too, when the hell does one get stable? Haven't touched the beer or weeds but the weight has jumped up 15 lbs  - 207 to 220. Another good thing.

 

Guess it's a slow process or I'm kindled whatever that means.

 

I stared a cooking job and am sore as FK all over but that was a pre existing condition from the Vs

 

Hold tight buddy!