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Going insane...help


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This whole sleep thing has morphed into major depression for me.  I spend too much time worrying that I am going insane.  I feel like something is trying to "get in my head" and derail me...my thoughts are constantly on how I "used" to be before Benzos ruined my life. I just want my old life back and feel like that is impossible now with all of the racing thoughts and whatnot.  Is this normal?  Does anyone else do this?  Help
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This whole sleep thing has morphed into major depression for me.  I spend too much time worrying that I am going insane.  I feel like something is trying to "get in my head" and derail me...my thoughts are constantly on how I "used" to be before Benzos ruined my life. I just want my old life back and feel like that is impossible now with all of the racing thoughts and whatnot.  Is this normal?  Does anyone else do this?  Help

 

I read something someone posted on facebook the other day which resonated with me, and your post reminded me of it. It basically stated for us to let go of who we used to be, and accept who we are now. I know this may sound impossible because the now is so horrible and hard, but the current now will not be the forever now. It's hard, but thinking about the past can make everything worse because we put pressure on ourselves and blame ourselves for not being able to change. The present is not the forever, it will change, and we will get through it, no matter how hard it is. I'm sorry I don't have better words of wisdom or a suggestion for you! I think so many of us can relate.

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Managing our thoughts is really important. It's some of the hardest work for me.

 

I've finally accepted this is where I am right now in this moment.

I've been angry about the loss of years also.

 

It's not us really I don't think. The drugs kept us in a living comma.

A false reality where we only thought we were okay.

 

All we have is today and going forward.

The choices we make today determine our future.

We are doing that 5 mintut es at a time.

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I read something someone posted on facebook the other day which resonated with me, and your post reminded me of it. It basically stated for us to let go of who we used to be, and accept who we are now. I know this may sound impossible because the now is so horrible and hard, but the current now will not be the forever now. It's hard, but thinking about the past can make everything worse because we put pressure on ourselves and blame ourselves for not being able to change. The present is not the forever, it will change, and we will get through it, no matter how hard it is. I'm sorry I don't have better words of wisdom or a suggestion for you! I think so many of us can relate.

 

I really agree with this mindset.  We are all different now.  Just like I am not as skinny as I was when I was 20 lol.

 

I thnk we can get back to almost normal but it might be a new normal for us.  I dont sleep the best but my life has changed to accept that and now I function pretty much like a normal person even on less than average sleep.

 

 

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This whole sleep thing has morphed into major depression for me.  I spend too much time worrying that I am going insane.  I feel like something is trying to "get in my head" and derail me...my thoughts are constantly on how I "used" to be before Benzos ruined my life. I just want my old life back and feel like that is impossible now with all of the racing thoughts and whatnot.  Is this normal?  Does anyone else do this?  Help

 

I read something someone posted on facebook the other day which resonated with me, and your post reminded me of it. It basically stated for us to let go of who we used to be, and accept who we are now. I know this may sound impossible because the now is so horrible and hard, but the current now will not be the forever now. It's hard, but thinking about the past can make everything worse because we put pressure on ourselves and blame ourselves for not being able to change. The present is not the forever, it will change, and we will get through it, no matter how hard it is. I'm sorry I don't have better words of wisdom or a suggestion for you! I think so many of us can relate.

 

love this! well said and something I can utilize in my behavior modification therapy.

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I was taught that dwelling in the past is a recipe for regret and dwelling in the future is a pathway to anxiety. In reality, there only is the present. To not allow yourself to live in it (during both good and bad times) just doesn't make sense. Sound advice, but not always easy to follow.
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the first months in which I had no sleep I was in panic that I would go mad or even die.

I somehow got used to it, lay down whenever I had the feeling, simply closed eyes, not napping, but resting.. and I am still surprised how mcuh I could do or can still do without having sleep. I think when you are just 4 weeks or so without benzos, everything is so scary, after a while the system calms down - you still are exhausted because you dont sleep and its hell, but you are not in panic mode any more about it..

 

hug!!! Just give it time...

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Theway, your history with the sleep drugs sounds almost identical to mine. Short usage, and became tolerant really quickly, so I also thought it was bad insomnia from my anxiety or something else. Never pinned it to the drugs until I found this forum. Doctors certainly didn't say it was the drugs causing it.

 

I had horrible anxiety, to the point I ended up in the mental ward over night! Worst experience of my life!

 

But you need to know that you will get better. You're off the drugs which is the biggest and hardest thing to do, and then rest of it will just continue to improve with time.

 

There are days where it will seem like there is no hope. Like you're getting worse instead of better. This is the tricky part of bento recovery. Stay the course, and you will see that as each month goes by, things improve, even if it's slightly.

 

I'm at about 2.5 years off, and just start sleeping normally in the last 6 months. Even now I still don't sleep like I did before benzos, but I'm at a point where it is not negatively affecting my life. I enjoy my days and I do not have anxiety, stress, and depression that once consumed my mind with every waking moment.

 

Stay strong, have faith in your recovery, and you will reach the light at the end of the tunnel :)

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