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Musings on insomnia


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Good reading. This was good advice:

Janet Mock

 

“In the last three weeks, I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night. Nearly every night … These voices, not the ones from the street, but the ones inside of me ramble on and on about the decisions I’ve made. The ones that I can’t take back. They laugh at me about telling my story, about trying to be a leader, about my highty-flighty, self-helpy intentions, about my audacity to add more to our ongoing conversation as human beings — and most importantly about being a leader. Who do you think you are? they laugh at me while I lay awake staring at Marty. You’re going to regret this! … But a few nights ago, after a string of these sleepless nights, I had a mini-revelation, a breakthrough of sorts. On this particular night, when the voices woke me, I let myself accept the doubt, the fear, the anxiety. I recognized them. I even said hello to each. But I did not validate them this time. I did not let them take over my thoughts, leading me to a trail of additional questions and fears … I refused to fret, I tuned out the anxiety and tuned into my dreams. I haven’t awaken since.” —her site, April 2011

 

I also liked

Maya Angelou

 

“There are some nights when

 

sleep plays coy,

 

aloof and disdainful.

 

And all the wiles

 

that I employ to win

 

its service to my side

 

are useless as wounded pride,

 

and much more painful.”

 

—“Insomniac,” Shaker Why Don’t You Sing?, 1983

 

Stupid, coy sleep ???

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Yes, very interesting to read. I get a bit miffed at Arianna Huffington, I find it hard to believe she has ever had unexplainable, intractable insomnia, with her scolding tone. It's difficult to read suggestions from someone who hasn't "been there". Also Joanne Didier, a bit "holier than thou".
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Yeah, I don't think Arianna's issue has been so much insomnia as overwork leading to not sleeping enough. She's done a great job at calling out the culture of busyness worship and busyness bragging with an emphasis on sleep. She's helping a lot of mainstream folks but isn't as relevant to those of us whose bodies won't let us sleep...yet. We're such an odd, rare subset. What we experience is inexplicable to most normal humans. Today I had to drive my husband home half way through our Sunday morning because he was too drowsy--he's the one who has slept every night and I've slept one night this month. It's so unimaginable to go without so much sleep that it can't even be received or processed by most folks. Fortunately he's super understanding most of the time.
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