MY STORY OF HEALING

[[...]]

Thank you from me too and, yes, I also shed tears.  :'(  :'(  Wow, just wow!  Such a horrific tale, what devastating trauma you endured, and all at the hands of those who pledged to first do no harm.   

 

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Mother.    I was very touched by your parents' unconditional love, support, and faith in you.  And when the tables were turned, how there you were, the one at your Mom's side.    You did her so very proud, I can only imagine how she's smiling at you from above.   

 

I agree with Bubbles, there's a certain beauty to your story too.  You, here now, on the other side, everything you went through, all that pain, your fight, your courage, the lessons learned, it won't be in vain.  I have a feeling you will go on to have an extraordinary future; that you will find someone very special to share your life with, and she in return will be one very lucky person to have found you !   

 

I hope writing your Success Story was a cathartic exercise for you, and I think you fully appreciate how much it means to all of us.  Thank you again, I wish you only continued healing and peace and love.

 

 

(PS - I felt compelled to add a little call-out to Colin here.  Colin, two words ... Thank you ...  Just thank you).

[[pr...]]

it damaged my jaw and my neck after some time began stiff and I could not move or turn my head almost at all. They said it was dystonia and trauma from drugs.

 

 

Indigo,

 

thank you so much for coming back here and sharing your story. i too cried  and felt hope. can i ask how long you are out now from your last drug?

 

i am 46 months from a brutal cold turkey and i still have pulling and what feels like a machine inside my brain with these mini explosions that never seem to stop. it's my worst head symptom and still keeps me down this far out. can i ask you if that pulling to the left that you spoke about is gone now? i get so scared that this is permanent for me. i sure hope not. sometimes i feel it's a severe dystonia and trauma as well  from the cold turkey and that it's permanent. it never stops. i can't tell you how much hope i have from reading your incredible story. thank you so much Prettydaisys

[[ml...]]

Wow...just wow indigo. Its hard to find the words. Your story, your journey, your unrelenting hope and fight to carry on. You are an inspiration to us all dear BB. I'm so sorry about your mom. I understand so well. I lost my dad and my brother in the same month last year while I was fighting to get well.

I just celebrated a year free on Feb 1st. Although we all have our individual stories and experience thru this, yours taught me how amazing we really are, when we commit to the process, NO MATTER WHAT!

 

I relate so well to many of the things your went thru. Especially the horrible and constant restlessness. I remember too, pacing my back yard all night long, under the stars and praying...my heart pounding, beating so fast, shaking and hallucinating for hours on end, for weeks on end, staying alive and breathing as you say...It was torture.

 

I love the movie Cast Away. I actually just watched it a week ago. Its so good and I love the part you referenced.

 

God bless you warrior friend. You are a hero indeed. 

magic

[[Ka...]]

What a heart wrenching, yet beautiful story. You are an amazing person! you just opened my eyes to just how lucky I am. I have been wallowing in self pity and anger for months now. Your story gave me the slap in the face I really needed. My road is nothing compared to what you experienced and lived through. God bless you and I wish you the very best in your life ahead. Thank you for sharing!

[[ml...]]

What a heart wrenching, yet beautiful story. You are an amazing person! you just opened my eyes to just how lucky I am. I have been wallowing in self pity and anger for months now. Your story gave me the slap in the face I really needed. My road is nothing compared to what you experienced and lived through. God bless you and I wish you the very best in your life ahead. Thank you for sharing!

 

For real! 

[[Sa...]]

Indigo I cannot tell you how profoundly your story affected me.  :'( :'( :'( I literally needed a few days to gather myself after reading. I've stopped and started typing several times now, abandoning any hopes of expressing  myself into words...the only word that fits truly embodies you is HERO. The level of your suffering is staggering as is the brilliance of your spirit and perseverance that shines through your journey as a beacon of light and hope for all of us. Thanking you seems inadequate. Wishing you all the best life has to offer with much love.

 

[[no...]]

Thank for sharing what most people would rather bury than bring back up to give the gift of hope where many walk in the dark shadow of despair. Your journey and survival is a true testament to the strength of human spirit, the innate ability to survive heal and go forward. And to remember we are all stronger and more powerful than we know, and capable of greatness.

 

All this is easily forgotten in time of fear and suffering, but then  along comes a warrior who defeats what seem to be insurmountable odds and proves no matter how hard or bad it gets we all have these qualities inside us and as long as we're willing to keep fighting no matter what obstacles get in our way. That there is always a way  under, over, across or through, and these same innate inner qualities can and will get us to the other side where we want to be,and today you are that warrior. May you keep growing evermore powerful as you keep turning towards the sun and an ever brighter future. Thank you, all hail to you fellow warrior

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten:

[[Ja...]]

God bless you Indigo. I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother. Mine died when I was six and still yearn for her every day. Your story is an inspiration to us all. Wishing only the best that life has to offer you...

[[Ar...]]

I reread your success story and have great admiration for you.  Thank you for sharing.  This quote kept coming to my mind.

 

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly."  Richard Bach

[[Su...]]

Indigo,

I remember you from Chat.  Seems like a long time ago.

Thank you so much for coming back and sharing your story with others who need to here that healing happens.

 

Sunny girl

[[Sv...]]

Congrats buddy!  It's amazing how these drugs destroy our lives. I'm glad u reclaimed urs back!

[[ld...]]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Fantastic!!! I do have a question. How many months did it take you to completely heal.

 

    Thanks again for sharing

 

God bless you

 

 

              ldm27

[[ed...]]

Indigo,

 

I'm relatively new here compared to some of the other buddies, but I just want to say that your story is THE most inspirational story I've read yet.  I've been sitting up all night in an anxiety plagued state and feeling sorry for myself. Literally, as I read your words, some (not all) of the anxiety abated as I processed what you have been through. Thank you so very much for sharing your story. I vow that once I recover, I will continue to be a part of BB in order to give the type of hope to others that you have just given to me.

 

My most sincere gratitude,

Ed

[[Sa...]]

Dear Indigo,

 

I can't tell you what reading your story did to me but i will try.  Its a testament to sheer will and strength of human beings and thank you much for having the love to come back and poor all the painful memories out for us here solely to help us see that it is possible.

 

Thank you and wish you love and happiness

 

[[Bl...]]

Your story really moved me. My eye filled with tears reading it. I'm so sorry for your loss of your mother. As I read about how your mom researched and did everything to help you I was so happy that you had support during such a dark time from her, especially because doctors deny the validity of protracted withdrawal and try to blame us as psychiatrically flawed when we are not. I'm so glad you are doing so much better. Thank you so much for sharing.

[[co...]]

Hi Indigo

 

Thanks for writing it all down.

 

Just to clarify: are you saying that your CNS is still sensitive to stress?

 

Has it gotten better in that you can still handle change and disruptive encounters and environments without sending your nervous system into overdrive?

 

I'm reading that permanent damage is the outcome for long term benzo use, and that subject is verboten on BB.

 

What is your take on that?

[[pa...]]

Hi Indigo,

 

I remember you so very well.  I joined BB 7/2010...  We communicated on the "Chat Room" and in threads.  Yes, you traveled the horrific journey, though, like each and everyone does, you made it!  You have a new found life, and it can be strange getting reintroduced to it, but it all falls into place.

 

Blessings always to you.  And, THANK YOU for being that brave warrior you were and are, you came back and gave proof of a previous traveler through this journey.... That "Healing Does Truly Take Place"~!!

 

Hugs, Pattylu

[[Cl...]]

Wow...just wow indigo. Its hard to find the words. Your story, your journey, your unrelenting hope and fight to carry on. You are an inspiration to us all dear BB. I'm so sorry about your mom. I understand so well. I lost my dad and my brother in the same month last year while I was fighting to get well.

I just celebrated a year free on Feb 1st. Although we all have our individual stories and experience thru this, yours taught me how amazing we really are, when we commit to the process, NO MATTER WHAT!

 

I relate so well to many of the things your went thru. Especially the horrible and constant restlessness. I remember too, pacing my back yard all night long, under the stars and praying...my heart pounding, beating so fast, shaking and hallucinating for hours on end, for weeks on end, staying alive and breathing as you say...It was torture.

 

I love the movie Cast Away. I actually just watched it a week ago. Its so good and I love the part you referenced.

 

God bless you warrior friend. You are a hero indeed. 

magic

 

Hey! Saw your post. You are truly amazing. Please can I chat to you regarding withdrawal. Would love to chat to you . I am also really struggling . I am so happy that you are healed !

[[Mb...]]

Indigo, this is the most beautiful and sobering thing I have ever read. You are a true design of God. Please don't be offended in my saying this. I could feel your vulnerability in my soul. I am do happy for you, and pray that your pIn is finally over. Much love to you. Mbusybee...

[[Mb...]]

I mean... "so happy" and " your pain". Sorry for the typos. I could just cry...

[[So...]]

Wow, what a traumatic journey you had! I'm so happy you lived to tell it and your well again! God bless you and thank you for sharing this.

[[gi...]]

Amazing journey my friend, I broke down and cried so hard in the middle, God bless you!

[[Mo...]]

Bump...story deserves an Oscar..

[[Jo...]]

Great story thanks so much for sharing!

[[we...]]

Sorry for the loss of your mom.I am truly humbled and blessed to have read your story.Thank you for sharing the good the bad and the ugly,and you gave me hope today.Thank you wen