From having such a posstive outlook too hitting rock bottom

[[no...]]

Hi all.

 

I could see this coming, and everything came at me like a storm in the night.

 

I have so many things that I am trying to deal with, but i came to the end of my rope.

 

I always had such a great positive out look in life but it seems to have disappeared.

 

I Thought that I was stable with my tapering, but I am having problems with severe depression. I am in no danger of

anything... I could see this coming for a long time, and I know that it isn't all benzo problems.

 

I am dealing with so many issues in my life, that I can not handle it any more. The last thing I want to do is to be hospitalized in which I know i need to be. But they would only put me in the pysch ward and fill me up with drugs, and the last person I would want to see is my ex psychiatrist.

 

I just feel like running away, but where would I run to?

 

I don't want to be a burden to anyone. But some prayers would be nice.

 

I please ask you when replying to this post, not to put a QUOTE in the message or subject line. My wife reads my e-mails and that is a BIG issue.

 

Thank you all for being there for me.

Norm Beam

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Hi Norm,

 

I know what you mean about running away, I wanted to do that too, but there was nowhere I could escape benzo withdrawal.  I hope you don't feel that this is the way you're going to be forever, benzo depression is intense, it's a dark and scary place.  But I found when I healed the depression went away.

 

I realize you probably have a lot going on in your life, but I hope you'll give yourself time to recover before you make any judgments about your state of mind.

 

Pam

[[ic...]]

Norm,

I agree with pamster - the symptoms really distort our thought processes. I was very despondent at one point, it was very bad and dark and scary. But a BB reminded me that it wasn't real - just a symptom. It will lift, so while its here please don't listen to anything negative your mind makes up, its not true. You will be well again and these problems will be back in perspective.

I wanted to run away too.

ican

 

 

[[st...]]

Norm,  I have been tapering for over three months and have had terrible bouts of depression at times.  And then like a fog they lift.  Hang in there.  It has helped me to take a break from tapering at times and to even slow the rate of taper.  Your speed may be contributing to your problems.  The brain needs to have ample time to readjust itself.  Everyone is different.  You'll find what works for you.  But hang on.  I know its tough.  Darrin

[[cu...]]

I am praying for you, Norm. Hang in there...it does get better and you will one day look back and realize you shouldn't have been so hard on yourself.

[[Da...]]

Norm,

 

I am also suffering from severe depression which is made worse with the valium taper.  I know exactly how you feel as I thought I had reached rock bottom last fall when I tried to taper too fast from Ativan.  Although the cross to valium was a good decision, it is still a benzo and they are known to cause depression.  I am coping with emotional issues as well after a divorce, losing my job, a falling out with a good friend and having no family in the area where I live.  Adding to all this is a taper off a drug which affects us mentally, emotionally and physically. 

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and hope that you will find coping techniques along this journey.

 

I hope you will find support and comfort from all of us who understand what you are going through.

 

Cheryl

[[Mi...]]

I get to that point sometimes.  I alwasy egt out of it somehow though and eventually hopefully you'll not only be out of it, but not have it recur.  Some thigns just take time.  I've tried for years to get my thinking more proper and it takes forever to really work apparently.

[[jo...]]

I feel an enormous sense of wanting to escape too Norm, so I know partly what you are going through.

If you look at pamsters sig line, and see what amount of benzos she came off, plus the c/t and the fact that she healed, this should give you some hope.

 

I try to think of all the posters who  have come off big doses and healed quickly, and this boosts me a bit. Could you try it?

 

PS I love your avatar.

[[Bo...]]

Yep, at pushing 10 months off this Utter CRAP, I have bad depression at times too.. I always sit here wondering if I should try an AD.. I know it is benzo w/d doing this but I just wonder if something can help.. One of my "bad" symptoms for sure. God Bless, Bob

[[BY...]]

Hi, Norm

 

I just had a six day run with really bad depression, felt the same as you to a T.

Remember I said(" had"). This is day 8 and it passed. Please give yourself time to heal.

 

Hang in there Norm,

 

Mikey

[[Wa...]]

Norm,

 

I've been there.  There is a really good book called, "Healing Of Damaged Emotions" that did wonders for me to help put all the bad things going on in my life into prospective and helped me address the issues that I had myself that was compounding my problems.  It really did wonders for me and I lent it out to so many people I can't count and they all loved it as well.  It helps us deal with all the hurts from our past and present that get us to the point we don't feel like we can go on.

 

Prayers to you.