Insomniac support group

[[ar...]]

Transfer to liquid v feels like a cut.  Paying for it today....🌝

 

Working from home.  Woke up with benzo anxiety last night at 1:40 and could not sleep after that.

[[ar...]]

Fran,

 

More proof that exersize works.  This kid who us 26 was on benzos for 10 years.  He did a speech about what is helping him with his w/d.  Mind you he did this speech while in w/d.

 

 

[[Al...]]

Arcade79-Thank you for the video and I'm going to watch it now. I'm so sorry to hear that you had a bad night sleep. Have you ever tried Meditation Oasis?

 

Hang in there tomorrow is a new day:)

Fran

[[Wo...]]

Hey folks, I'm late to the group, but I should join. I'm sorry you all are dealing with this torture too.

 

I've had sleep disturbance since things started getting bad during taper over a year ago. Mostly nightmares, and early waking with the cortisol rush. For the most part I would get 2-6 hours of total sleep per night. This improved a lot over the last few months. The last 5 days however I've gotten little to no sleep. All the Drs. can do is offer reassurance and drugs.

 

My problem right now is I've become anxious to even try to sleep, so I'm extremely tired yet too anxious to fall asleep. Most nights I end up just lying there getting more and more anxious. I'm sure if you're here you're familiar with this horrible loop. Not sleeping because you're anxious, and anxious because you're not sleeping.

 

Does anyone have any tips on how to break this cycle? I've been stubbornly trying to override the anxiety so I end up staying in bed the whole sleepless night, but this is not working. Is it better to get up and distract for a while? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[[ar...]]

Nova,

 

For me I found that ambient sounds help.

 

http://ambientsleepingpill.com/

[[Al...]]

Wondernova-I went to a PDOC who really understood insomnia because I always used to wake up at 3:00 AM and I could not fall back to sleep. I suggest you log onto www.meditationoasis or if you have an iphone you can download their app under Podcast. I listen to relax and sleep guide if I wake up during the middle of the night and it helps. You must train your brain to associate your bed and sleep as a very positive association. If you become anxious thinking about sleep then you will have problems sleeping and taking any sleep aids is not good either. It's SO important to learn to sleep on your own. Say no to drugs:) You must try to learn to associate sleep as a beautiful thing. My PDOC said to get off the computer iphone etc 90 minutes before you go to bed and in the event you wake up during the night do NOT put on the TV or go onto your computer. You can listen to the meditation oasis on your iphone because I have the brightness settings turned off....I hope this helps.

[[Wo...]]

Nova,

 

For me I found that ambient sounds help.

 

http://ambientsleepingpill.com/

 

Thanks arcade. I'll try that one.

[[Wo...]]

Wondernova-I went to a PDOC who really understood insomnia because I always used to wake up at 3:00 AM and I could not fall back to sleep. I suggest you log onto www.meditationoasis or if you have an iphone you can download their app under Podcast. I listen to relax and sleep guide if I wake up during the middle of the night and it helps. You must train your brain to associate your bed and sleep as a very positive association. If you become anxious thinking about sleep then you will have problems sleeping and taking any sleep aids is not good either. It's SO important to learn to sleep on your own. Say no to drugs:) You must try to learn to associate sleep as a beautiful thing. My PDOC said to get off the computer iphone etc 90 minutes before you go to bed and in the event you wake up during the night do NOT put on the TV or go onto your computer. You can listen to the meditation oasis on your iphone because I have the brightness settings turned off....I hope this helps.

 

Fran that all makes really good sense. I know that's what's going on. Ever since WD began for me I've associated my own bed with a lot of unpleasant experiences. For a few months in acute I had nocturnal panic attacks almost every night. That stuck with me I think. I do much better when I sleep other places. I really need to figure out how to feel safe in my own room again.

 

This stuff is so bizarre. I've been able to surf in shark infested waters throughout wd, but I can't sleep in my own bed.

[[ar...]]

Hey Nova,

 

I can relate.  I cannot sleep in our guest bedroom bed because I had bad experiences of my early days of benzo horror in that bed and I had no idea what was happening to me at that time. Brings back very bad memories.

[[Al...]]

Wondernova-Let me tell you what I think you should do to erase the bad memories that you have encountered in your bed. I would go out and buy all new bedding, pillow cases, shams, duvet and comforter. Start over from scratch a new beginning. I would also remove the clock from your bedroom. My PDOC thinks looking at a clock is bad and it only adds stress and anxiety when you wake up during the night and look at the clock. Do you have black out shades? I sleep with ear plugs because my dog sleeps in our bed and she snores. (You can view her picture on my profile) I also keep my bedroom very clean and I always dust and vacuum. The bed always looks so pretty when the room is clean (it's all about learning how to associate the bed as a positive pleasurable experience with sleep.

 

Last but not lease I wash our sheets twice a week. I find I love getting into bed at the end of the day when the sheets smell fresh. We all have our favorite  detergent right?

 

I used to stay at the Four Seasons or the Ritz Carlton whenever we traveled but these days I'm sleeping at the benzo hell motel, so I make the best of it:)...hahahahahahahaha!

Fran

[[Wo...]]

Wondernova-Let me tell you what I think you should do to erase the bad memories that you have encountered in your bed. I would go out and buy all new bedding, pillow cases, shams, duvet and comforter. Start over from scratch a new beginning. I would also remove the clock from your bedroom. My PDOC thinks looking at a clock is bad and it only adds stress and anxiety when you wake up during the night and look at the clock. Do you have black out shades? I sleep with ear plugs because my dog sleeps in our bed and she snores. (You can view her picture on my profile) I also keep my bedroom very clean and I always dust and vacuum. The bed always looks so pretty when the room is clean (it's all about learning how to associate the bed as a positive pleasurable experience with sleep.

 

Last but not lease I wash our sheets twice a week. I find I love getting into bed at the end of the day when the sheets smell fresh. We all have our favorite  detergent right?

 

I used to stay at the Four Seasons or the Ritz Carlton whenever we traveled but these days I'm sleeping at the benzo hell motel, so I make the best of it:)...hahahahahahahaha!

Fran

 

Haha. Great post fran. I'll try all those things. Sweet dog too. I let my cats sleep in the bed because the anxiety gets so bad at times, that petting them is the only thing that takes the edge off.

[[Wo...]]

Hey Nova,

 

I can relate.  I cannot sleep in our guest bedroom bed because I had bad experiences of my early days of benzo horror in that bed and I had no idea what was happening to me at that time. Brings back very bad memories.

 

Arcade-There's definitely a PTSD element to all of this.

[[MT...]]

Nova,

 

For me I found that ambient sounds help.

 

That's really soothing music. Meditation Oasis made me agitated but not this.

 

I think we're all having to learn to love our beds again. Something I've been practicing is viewing all of the time I have at night as special relaxation time to watch TV, play and read (I go insane if I try to just read all night so I start with the other things and work myself towards reading and relaxing to music)

 

http://ambientsleepingpill.com/

 

Thanks arcade. I'll try that one.

[[ar...]]

Hey Nova,

 

I can relate.  I cannot sleep in our guest bedroom bed because I had bad experiences of my early days of benzo horror in that bed and I had no idea what was happening to me at that time. Brings back very bad memories.

 

Arcade-There's definitely a PTSD element to all of this.

 

Yeah man I don't want to relive those two days of benzo terror in that bed.  Thanks to the ER giving me an IV of Ativan when I already was in Xanax w/d.  You can imagine what I went through the next two nights.  Plus not knowing what was going on with me.  Thanks to BB I figured it out.  Then pdoc did a direct c/o to Valium and I finally had relief for awhile.  Sept through Nov last year was hell.  Wasted $5k in doc bills to try and figure out what was wrong with me and I ended up figuring it out myself.  Done venting 🌝

[[Al...]]

Good morning BB! I hope that everyone slept well last night. I got 7 1/2 hours of great sleep and I had a beautiful dream about flowers and lily's blooming and the colors were so vivid. Dreaming again is wonderful.

 

Most of you know that two nights ago I did not sleep well. Last night I was not going to allow any "bad thoughts or negativity" to enter my mind. I told myself that not getting a good night is perfectly normal in Benzo recovery. I'm a very positive person and I also know how the mind can play tricks on you. I washed my sheets yesterday and started over from fresh. I didn't have broccoli however I did eat brown rice (brain food) at dinner with carrots.

 

I'm looking forward to hearing how everyone slept last night. Have a great day.

[[Si...]]

I basically didn't sleep at all. So much for the sleep deprivation and exercising hard. My wife said she heard me snoring for about 20 minutes. But I swear I don't remember it at all.

 

I'm so over this crap. I’m not sure how I felt comfortable enough to sleep in my bed for 7 months with no problem and then all of a sudden it became a problem?

[[Sh...]]

Siggy - For what it's worth, I also know how it feels to have a good stretch of sleeping OK, only to return to night after night of acute insomnia. It reminds me of certain episodes of the Twilight Zone I remember from childhood, where all of a sudden a blind person gains the ability to see for the first time, only to return to blindness at the end of the show (or the same thing with an old person regaining their youth, then having it snatched away). But unlike those shows, we will regain our ability to sleep again and presumably it will be lasting.

 

Thankfully, I did better last night (thanks to mirtazapine, that is): got almost a full night of light broken sleep, which is enough to make me feel functional and for most of my other symptoms to recede.

[[sn...]]

UGH!!!  I did not sleep well last night.  Woke up after three hours...tossed and turned for a long time before finally falling back to sleep for an hour. 

 

Shirah- your description is spot on.  I long for the day when I can fall into bed without a care in the world and wake up only to the sound of my alarm clock.  It's hard to get to the "acceptance" part of all of this.  That and getting into a very "zen" state before bed has been emotionally and mentally draining. 

[[Al...]]

Shirah-Wonderful news that you were able to sleep last night and that you feel functional today. That's so important and you deserve it.

 

Sniogra-Sorry to hear that you did not have a good night sleep. Please read my comments from yesterday. It's totally NORMAL to sleep one night and not the next in recovery. Please trust me on this and try not to think about last night. keep telling yourself big deal it was one night and tonight I will sleep, and that's how recovery works. The brain is trying to figure this all out and the fact that you slept the other night without any sleep aids is VERY positive.

Fran

[[MT...]]

Arcade, I too wasted a lot of time and money trying to determine what was wrong with me last year before I figured out it was wd. We learned the hard way.

 

Fran and Shirah, I'm glad you had better nights.

 

Sniogra and Siggy, I'm feeling your pain. Zero sleep last night. Was actually so alert and agitated I couldn't even rest quietly. I listened to two different meditation things but no help. All I could do was read. Thank goodness for science fiction or I'd probably be barking mad...or more barking mad It's so weird to be this tired and not be able to sleep but I know you all get it. Yes, I know I will heal and this will get better but it's been a long time.

[[Al...]]

I took 25 mg of Zinc yesterday for the first time and it did not rev me up. My friend who is a neurologist told me to try it because it calms down exciteablity in the brain among other things. I woke up today VERY happy like my old self. Please read this article about Zinc and Gaba and Glutemate.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201309/zinc-antidepressant

[[Al...]]

If your brain is over excited that is the reason for insomnia, and we don't have enough Gaba receptors yet. I think I am on to something:)

[[sn...]]

Hmmm....I ate a lot of oysters when I was in NOLA and felt pretty good.  They are very high in zinc.  What other foods are high in zinc?

[[Al...]]

Sniogra-meat is high in Zinc but I don't eat red meat, so are nuts. I just took 25 mg of Zinc. Did you read the article? It makes sense about the Gaba and excitability and that is what causes insomnia. You have nothing to lose by trying it. I bought zinc chelate from pureformulas and they offer free shipping. I know that zinc is not supposed to be taken in large amounts every day. I feel like a rat in a science lab..hahahahaha

[[Al...]]

One more article about Zinc...My friend who is a neurologist told me that when you work out you make BDNF which is like a fertilizer in your brain for Gaba receptors and healing.....This article about mention Gaba and BDNF. My husband is a doctor and I personally think Neurologist know more about a benzo recovery than a shrink does.

 

http://evolutionarypsychiatry.blogspot.com/2010/07/zinc-and-depression.html