You Will Heal - Believe it!

[[Br...]]

Thank you, thank you! So inspiring!

[[dr...]]

read it again

[[...]]

Your healing! It's coming! Think of those windows being open all the time!!

 

Drew, you have pushed through so much! You are doing so awesome!

 

:smitten:

[[Br...]]

Thank you for your very detailed story and also for the encouragement that we are all on our own paths and to be patient, that healing DOES come.

[[...]]

great thread

[[Lo...]]

Well ... good morning GMIT ... so glad to hear you continue to do well ...

 

I am still "bouncing" around the benzo pinball machine ... and I am continuing to heal ... as soon as they stop putting quarters in the machine I too can get on with my life ...

 

All the best my friend ... 

 

So wonderful to see your post! I am doing well! We bought the house and have been getting settled! I will soon be looking for a job!

 

I sure hope you are feeling relief!!

 

:smitten:

 

Good for you GMIT!!! A house and job hunting! Amazing!!!! 

[[li...]]

GMIT, WOW this makes three of us from the thread with a success story! I think the rest will follow very shortly. I love your thread! God bless!

 

Life

[[...]]

Hey GMIT

 

I'm at 5 months and 3 weeks today. Still feel bad, less so but still bad. Anxiety is the worst. That and my sleep pattern is way off. I still sleep about 5/6 hours a day but the time I do sleep is all over the place.

 

The worst is the anxiety. I don't take anything but I want to. I just keep hoping this ends. The other symptoms seem a but less. But I'm still a jumpy nervous wreck who can't leave the house.

 

When did it get better for you?

 

When did the 'nerves' calm down?

 

I've got Vistaril, but should I take it?

 

Thanks

[[dr...]]

Control my anxiety/fear where it used to control me. Still some sleep issues, but this is intermittent.

 

Gmit-I pulled this from your success story because I'm pretty much at that point now. You said it perfectly!  I still get anxiety but I'm functioning with it at a much higher level and if it goes into panic it's short. Hardly any panics now. 

 

I've been feeling pretty ok the last two weeks and used a steroid cream on my leg last night.  An intense wave started three hours later and I never get waves starting at night.  Figure that caused it.

 

Just rereading positive stuff. Hope you're better than ever

 

[[Lo...]]

Having a tough time (got some bad news and it has me in a wave like no tomorrow)!

 

However I had to re-read this as well.

 

I'm going to carry this quote with me, "You will heal! Do not keep telling yourself this is your new “normal” and that this is how you are going to be forever when you are still healing! It’s just not true, you WILL heal, it just takes time!"

[[...]]

Aw LM, I wish I could give you a hug 

 

You WILL get through this as hard as it is. I too have been reading success stories as this 1 year mark appears to be quite difficult for some, me included. The ups and downs, ins and outs are exhausting for us. Be brave and hold on as to make one whole year off this poison is remarkable; you are a strong woman, your son will be proud. We will make it

 

This is a good success story and I am so grateful for the encouragement in what is the hardest journey. Thank you GMIT, your words are read over and over. Bless you

[[...]]

Drew, LM, and marj...glad to hear from you!

 

Drew, I just hear the improvement when I read your post! Love it!

 

LM, I'm sorry you are having a rough time, but you know from experience that you will get through this! You have done SO awesome and the healing is happening!

 

Marj, I hope you're well!

 

I am better than ever! Still check back here every few days to see how everyone is doing! I am praying for everyone!

 

Life is wonderful!!

 

:smitten:

[[An...]]

Drew, LM, and marj...glad to hear from you!

 

Drew, I just hear the improvement when I read your post! Love it!

 

LM, I'm sorry you are having a rough time, but you know from experience that you will get through this! You have done SO awesome and the healing is happening!

 

Marj, I hope you're well!

 

I am better than ever! Still check back here every few days to see how everyone is doing! I am praying for everyone!

 

Life is wonderful!!

 

:smitten:

 

This is so encouraging to read today! I'm having a rough time and I can't wait until life is wonderful again!

[[Co...]]

GMIT...thank you for checking in from time to time. Your story and success posts ...and those of our old friends Life and HH are holding me together. ..I am at 18 months now and the last 6 weeks have been in acute all over again, but keeping on keeping on...Some of the buddies on the old 6-12 group, evolved into the 12-18 months group are getting very close to feeling the healing.

  ..You sound so good.  It's wonderful to hear you say that " life is wonderful again"...living proof that we get our lives back.. thank you....coop

[[...]]

Coop, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. It will get better, I promise! Everyone heals!

 

Be well! My prayers are with you!

 

[[Co...]]

Thanks GMIT.  I do believe things will get better...just so glad not to be at the beginning..

[[an...]]

Thank you very much for posting this wonderful news.  Congratulations!! 

[[ra...]]

Thanks for this success story! It's really encouraging. 

[[Fa...]]

Hello! I hope this finds you receiving relief! I am starting to write this success story at the end of my 5th month, so that should give you an idea of how the improvements are, even if I don’t post for several months…the 5th month was good enough for me to feel I could start this!

 

I loved reading success stories and wished there were more of them!

 

In the early summer of 2013 I found myself having “funny” feelings of lightheadedness while at work. I even told a co-worker on several occasions that I was feeling this way and didn’t understand what was happening to me.

 

By August I had taken a leave of absence and was told I needed my gallbladder removed. On September 9th I had my gallbladder surgery and within a week my back had gone out severely, with a bulging disc pushing on the sciatic nerve. On October 1st I had back surgery. Prior to the surgery I was told I needed to stop all medications I was currently on and that I could resume them after surgery. I thought that if I was going off of them I would just not continue them after the surgery was over. This is where all hell broke loose! After my FMLA leave I quit my job, I didn’t know what was wrong with me!

 

I never abused any drugs including the benzos, and only occasionally drank a glass of wine or had a margarita. I had many of the typical symptoms and started looking on the Internet. This is when I found out that there was a problem! I had been on 4 mg of Lorazepam and immediately cut to 2 mg. I contacted my doctor’s office and was told by his nurse that my doctor did not support me getting off this medication and that I should just stay on it. I was told that he said I could have a heart attack, seizures, or die. I instantly said to myself, “Oh, hell no, I will not be controlled by a drug!” I knew right then that I would quit.

 

In November I began my taper directly off the Lorazepam and finished on February 12th, 2014.

 

The symptoms I had (no specific order):

 

ANXIETY/PANIC/INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS (this was the worst and lasted longest)

Suicidal thoughts

Insomnia

Restlessness (Horrible in acute phase, had to keep moving, moving, moving)

Pain in left shoulder and forearm

Lightheadedness

Cold most of the time

Morning “ick” from cortisol, with internal chest/left arm vibrations

Gastrointestinal issues

Heat palpitations

Tinnitus (this is why I was prescribed Benzos to begin with)

Muscle aches

UTI within a month of quitting

Floaters in eyes

Shaking/Tremors in muscles

Breathing – can’t take in a deep enough breath

Prickly feeling on calves

Dysphoria – emotional disconnect

Memory issues

Trouble swallowing

Heightened sense of smell

Sensitivity to light

 

Here is how the healing went for me:

 

Taper: SO bad! Little to no sleep! All of the symptoms were very bad!

 

Month 1: SO bad! Little to no sleep! All symptoms were bad!

 

Month 2: A nice window opened for about 2 weeks, so I thought I was healed! Drank about a ¼ glass of wine only to be thrown back into hell! Rest of the month was bad! Sleep returned to normal! Symptoms were bad, maybe a tad better!

 

Month 3: Mostly waves with some windows coming and going. The bad was still bad, but better than earlier. Windows were short. Good sleep!

 

Month 4: Some waves with some windows. Again, the bad was bad, but still less intensity than previously. Windows got a little longer! Good sleep! Anxiety bad in the waves, had to breath deep.

 

Month 5: Beginning of the month was in and out of waves and windows. Bad was still bad, but even better than the previous bad episodes. The windows were better than previous windows. From July 16th to the 29th I was in a good window the entire time and felt “normal”! The 30th went back into a wave, and it felt really, really, bad, trouble taking a deep breath, anxiety.  After that just felt “so,so”. A couple of weeks of insomnia early in the month, then sleep returned to normal. The morning “ick” feeling and the lightheadedness went away the end of the month!!

 

Month 6: I felt excellent the beginning of this month! Went for an allergy shot and had a reaction, was given 40 mg of Prednisone…two days later went into a wave that lasted about a week…don’t take Prednisone! At six and a half months I had been feeling good and decided it was time to go back to work. Applied for a full-job and got it a week later! Still having emotional disconnect, left shoulder issues, and some anxiety/fear, but I feel I can control it to a certain extent, where it used to control me. Still some sleep issues, but this is intermittent.

 

Month 7 thru 11: Just continued with waves and windows…windows got longer. Month 9 brought the WORST wave ever, just horrid and lasted about a month! The depression was terrible, and I had never suffered from depression in my life up until this point! That has been the last wave I had up to this point and I feel SO wonderful! My sleep has improved greatly! Month 11 was almost wave free!

 

Month 12: No waves! So happy!

 

I still get on this site daily, as there is one person that I have messaged with since very early on. They are a couple of months behind me and I can hear healing happening through our messages! I will continue to give back and I can’t wait to hear about the healing!

 

I drank coffee throughout the entire process and I did not stick to any specific diet. I took melatonin early on, which seemed to help, then quit early in the 4th month. Once the insomnia came back I tried the melatonin but it did not work this time. When sleep was really bad I tried diphenhydramine, with a little success. I took an antihistamine when the anxiety was very severe and it eased it. Other than that I tried not to take anything and just let the healing process happen.

 

Prayer helped me immensely! I talked to God constantly! I understand not all people choose to turn to God, that’s ok! You find what works for you and run with it!! You are an awesome person and you deserve to, and will, be healed!

 

Do not compare your situation to others! You don’t know what they did or did not do or for how long! We are all so different! Don’t read stories about the people who take longer to heal and believe that will be you. It may take you longer than some or less time than some, but I believe keeping a positive attitude will aid in your success!

 

You will heal! Do not keep telling yourself this is your new “normal” and that this is how you are going to be forever when you are still healing! It’s just not true, you WILL heal, it just takes time!

 

Thank you to everyone in the 6-12 month thread, the Jumping Buddies thread, the Let’s Chat thread, and the 12-18 month thread! I couldn’t have done it without you! Thank you to Collin for creating this site!

 

This site is awesome! You are awesome! You will heal!

 

:smitten: :smitten:

 

Bump.

The story gives me hope.

Thank you for taking the time to write it.

[[bl...]]

Congratulations on your success when did your intrusive thoughts stop it what did you do to help them dissipate ?