12-18 month support

[[Co...]]

Nova, I don't even know what I have been watching, old Perry Mason re-runs I think.....carry on....as you say, this one will pass too.  Feel better friend....coop

[[Co...]]

Beulah....is your wave lifting ?..  I just saw your last post from a few days ago..  hope it's gone ....coop

[[Co...]]

Drew, ....how are you doing?.  I have to agree with Green .....most of us can't work through w/d. I couldn't even manage volunteering 1 or 2 days a week. Those of you working .. .Peace, Marj.  MikeJee....are really running a harder race..  . To me, it's like asking cancer pts. to work while in chemo. ( which h some do....unbelievably). .....it just seems next to physically impossible, yet you guys show up for it...  Even at 22 months off with a much improved baseline I don't think I could do it...  Nothing but respect for you.....coop

[[No...]]

Coop ... glad to hear you did the party thing ... this will happen more and more for all of us as the days go by ...

 

And even though I have an acute kind of day once in a while, I am still positive about this process ...

 

I was sitting here for a while this afternoon wondering how I got through all that stuff for so long ... could not remember a lot of how it actually felt ... and I suppose that is a good thing ...

 

As the airplane painter says ... Onward ... 

[[dr...]]

I'm okay coop-getting hit a bit now.  Heavy DR. I was hoping it break in the afternoon but not yet.  Just meditated and heading downstairs for a cool bath.  Very hot here and no AC. 

 

Sorry coop and nova.  This is to be expected for you both though.  Still sucks.  Hope Jenny pulls out quickly too.

 

 

[[Co...]]

I'm okay coop-getting hit a bit now.  Heavy DR. I was hoping it break in the afternoon but not yet.  Just meditated and heading downstairs for a cool bath.  Very hot here and no AC. 

 

Sorry coop and nova.  This is to be expected for you both though.  Still sucks.  Hope Jenny pulls out quickly too.

 

.....Drew,..  hope things clear up for you over the evening....

[[je...]]

I'm a lot better today, but the last 2 days I couldn't do much. Coop, I've been having people over for dinner and stuff and I'm still overwhelmed by it. We had people over a few weeks ago, and the next day I felt hungover and was so exhausted, I couldn't do much. I'm so, so, much better-- but times like that I realize I still have some healing to do. We will all get there!

[[Co...]]

Thanks Jenny... I have a lot of chemical anxiety going on today and I know its residual from the bd party.. just waiting for it to burn off.  You are still sounding very good..  and you are right....we are all so much better, but the random bad day is still coming along. So glad we are this far out.. coop

 

[[dr...]]

Just an observation...I'm actually very wavy today when I add it all up but even on a bad day like today I'm so much better than in the past.  I have heavy DR and the weird head. When I had this in the past I had terrible head pressure and nonstop anxiety. . Right now my pressure is. 2 on the 1-10 scale. I'm not overthinking the symptoms. Just passing the time and we are all one day closer to being healed.

[[je...]]

Yep Drew, there really is no point in analyzing it.. I've got some pressure today too, but no where near what it used to be.

[[Pu...]]

I have dizziness, pressure today, too. Sigh.

 

Hugs!!

[[Si...]]

Sign me up too. Feeling really bad the last few days. My burning head pressure / spine are in full force right now. I hate this feeling. I really hope I can sleep tonight. We have a good friend coming to stay wih us for a week on Wednesday too as he's moving back to the city. I hope that everything goes ok while he's here, I haven't told him yet of my situation. He's a recovering alcoholic and I think he has bad insomnia from it.

[[dr...]]

Wow...what a crew we have tonight

 

I've gotten worse as the day wore on which is rare.  My dinner cooking escapade is out the window. Just called in takeout. A pity they don't deliver...I'm on the couch and not looking forward to braving the outdoors.    Think I overdid the walk with all the heat?  Argh...who the hell knows. It is what it is.

[[Co...]]

Looks like we all need  Beulah's Tropical Healing Abbey.  .and a wrap around couch with reclining sections.  Pass around the lavender tea.  So sorry so many of us are having tough times.  Drew, my anxiety is hanging on too, unusual for it to last more than an hour. Don't you have a box of cereal hanging around your pantry so you don't have to go out?.  I am thinking it's a mashed potato dinner at my house tonight. 

....Sig...you get extra points for having a house guest. ...hope things lift for you before he arrives.

....Hunker down buddies.  ....things are going to get better again. Its looking like I am going to be up tonight if anyone needs to vent and rant .  coop

[[dr...]]

Okay...just lying there and it ramped into full blown panic. Trouble breathing, racing heart, etc...went to get the food and it was a "trip of death" .  It's passing as it always does. Didn't panic beyond the panic.  Lol.  Still sucked terribly.

[[Pu...]]

I'm having back pain, too! WT?! I was attributing it all to PMS. Ugh.

 

Group hug!!! Come on, guys - bring it in!!!!!

 

We WILL get through this!!!!!!!!

[[Gr...]]

Nova, Coop, I didn't mean to be morbid on dying and death.  Although that is a concern on and off.  I feel like withdrawal made me wake up and see everything, people, the world, how I was living, in a whole new way.  I guess after this experience life feels more precious, and I don't want to squander my time, worry about things I can't control, be miserable when I can be happy.  I meant it in a positive way.

 

Today was very low energy, head pressure, and feeling extremely heavy, lots of gravity.  Not really able to do much, but I'm coping well, thinking if all my mental symptoms went away, that means my brain is healing, and the physical will eventually heal, too.

 

Jenny, I think those waves are normal, HH has them, too. 

 

Healing is happening.

 

wonder how Sky is making out with her new house.

 

 

[[Co...]]

Glad to hear that you are riding it out... someday we are not going to have to walk the walk of death to simply go to to the stinkin grocery for dinner....Glad to know that you are back home, with food and settling .....hope you got something really good to make up for the death walk....that is such a spot on expression for having to do anything that involves getting off the couch during an anxiwty attack or panic

.......thinking of you Drew.  ....coop

[[Co...]]

Green, for those of us who have health anxiety, you couldn't possibly be any more morbid than what our own minds conjure up....I think every single one of us has at least once said, " I am sick of feeling like I am dying "..

      I didn't take it as morbid... I think we all at some point or another think we are going to die from this hell. ...I am left with the same take away as you.....after this, the smallest moments are priceless, we are survivors and so much tougher than we ever imagined and my priorities have been completely rearranged.....for the better. 

    Sorry you are low energy and ' heavy'...I know that feeling of cement arms and legs.  Grab a comforter and burrow into a corner of the 'can't do it today couch'. . hang out and rest with us.....Tomorrow we are another day closer... ..coop

[[No...]]

Green ... I did not read you as morbid ... many of us had a pretty dynamic day on Monday ... and telling it like it is ...

 

That is what is so reassuring for me on this thread ... this telling it like it is in the moment ... whatever it is ... good days and bad days ... that's why I am here ...

 

When I am in the soup and getting banged around I need to hear and be heard ... there is a line from something, somewhere, that just popped into what is serving as my mind right now ... "suddenly you are not alone anymore" ...

 

That is the treasure of this place ... 

[[No...]]

Had a PM from Sky ... she is having internet issues I think with the move ... she sounds okay ... 

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... had a good six hour sleep ... a little jittery and slightly hung over from yesterday's adventures ...

 

Hope everyone gets some rest ... Tuesday is a new day ... hope it is a pleasant one for everyone ... 

[[No...]]

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

In work of love, the body forgets its weight. And once again with love and singing in mind, I come to what must come to me, carried as a dancer by a song. This grace is gravity.

 

WENDELL BERRY

 

[[Si...]]

It's a shocker. I actually started to doze off at 10:30 last night, so got in bed at 11. That about the earliest I've gone to bed other than when I didn't sleep the night before. Getting up now to get ready for work. Burning spine head pressure still there though,

[[Te...]]

Morning everyone....didn't sleep well last night....one of my biggest problem is muscle spasms or extrem muscle  tightening .....my leg muscle the whole leg tightened up when trying to sleep during night....then around 4:00 my arm did like the same thing.....it's like my muscles are getting tighter and tighter.....scaring me....that I'm going to never have relaxed muscles....

I've been to the neurologist....so much in the last two years.....had MRI....nerve testing done on muscles twice since jumping....due to twitching....and my lovely muscle cramps....he has tested me twice for ALS.....test where normal.....but I'm still having not much relief this far out.....

Was crying during the night...

My daughter had her 16 birthday party Sunday....did a lot of decorating...don't know if this made my muscle worse...

I have the what if...since I did like a two month taper if I did damage to muscles from being in clonazepam ...to fast of a taper....gosh I hope this muscle issue is reversible ....so many nerve issues...with pin and needle feelings

Hugs....wishing everyone a healing day....TM