Feeling sucked down

[[Fa...]]

Hi there everyone.

 

I hope you all are ok.

 

I'm feeling absurdly down and I can't cope anymore and it's getting worse everyday. I don't know what to do as I'm already taking antidepressant.

 

I wake up every morning feeling sick and anxious... I don't want to give up but it looks like I'm gonna have to go on disability so I can get some help while feeling like this. This is not the life I asked for and if this is withdrawal it should be getting better not worse.

 

I'm sorry for the moaning but I have to take this out of my chest.

 

Take care,

 

Fabian.

[[tr...]]

 

Hi Fabian,

 

About 4 months after my ct I had crushing depression, it would lighten up and then hit really hard at least once a month.  This went on for about 4-5 months and then it starting getting better.  I rode it out but I also wasn't working.  I'm wondering if the Lexapro isn't causing some of your depression.  My dr. had me try that once I didn't have a good experience with it.  My experience with anti-depressants and benzos is that if it can help it it can cause it.

 

Don't worry about the moaning, that's why were're here.   

 

TS

[[an...]]

Fabian:

 

I'm so sorry you're having such a horrid time.  I know that feeling; I struggle every minute of every day with crushing depression, anxiety and insomnia.  But I think the bit of advice that Tropical Soul has given makes sense - it could possible be your A/D.  I know for me that none of the psych drugs work and I've been tried on a whole crap-load of them.  They all caused me to feel much worse with depression and anxiety.

 

TS - Very good insight about the A/D.  It brought back some memories for me with all of the docs trying so much junk on me, including supplements and herbs, and everything causing total chaos.  I especially like your last statement - if it can help it, it can cause it!  Again, great insight.  Thanks.

 

Jan

[[Pa...]]

Hi Fabian,

 

I know you had to take a break from University, have you found other ways to fill your time?  I hope you're using this time to be very kind to yourself, to explore ways to make you happy and give you some satisfaction in your life.  Are you interested in volunteering or pursing any hobbies? 

 

Pam

 

 

[[...]]

Dear Fabian:

 

It IS awful, isn't it.  I remember the months after I finished my taper were the most horrible time of my life.  It was worse than being stuck forever in the last five minutes before a Physics exam.  God, it was horrible.  However, it passed.  This morning I woke up with a little bit on anxiety and thought how unusual it was to have it anymore. 

 

Life has changed in the 16 months since I finished my taper.  Yours will too.  Next year at this time things will look different.  I promise.

 

ntw

[[...]]

Hi Fabian,

 

Sorry you're having a hard time of it, I really do relate to what you're saying, depression has been a big part of my withdrawal and I know how it can stop you in your tracks.

 

I can't tolerate any A/Ds but I have found that keeping occupied, eating well, a little exercise etc (I know you may have heard this before) works well in getting rid of the gloomy feeling. The usual things I guess.

 

Also remember that you are likely still healing and have been through a very difficult time. It can take (yet more) time to get back to normal.

 

I was off work for a year during my recovery and am always impressed at how some are able to work throughout it.

If I were you I wouldn't feel bad or guilty about taking some time out of work if you feel you could use some rest or a relief from stresses.

I would ensure that I had ways to keep myself occupied though as this always seems to help.

 

The main thing I would say is don't feel bad about needing to take it easy on yourself and take some time to recover. We all need to do that sometimes,

 

take care,

 

mr b

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[sp...]]

I to suffered crushing depression for weeks on end after a fast taper that lasted some time.  Now it rares its head only every now and then and only for a few days, not weeks and months like before. 

One thing that helped me was reading a book benzo-wise, written by a psychologist who came off benzos herself and found that all her cognitive behaviour therapy and self-talk didnt help much no matter what she did.  It made me realise that the depression was beyond our control and part of our brain rewiring - she also felt it was something a/d wouldnt help much.  It was of course just time required until it righted itself.

The other thing that helped is writing down a whole series of positive statements and reading them again and again when low and just having faith - that it would go.  when bad I would read all the success stories again and again and read my statements also to help get through.

I also, when things got real bad, had someone home with me or at the end of the phone at all times as a self-protection.

Best of luck on your journey - have faith that this will end and it is just how it is for now, but it will not be forever

Spring

[[Gu...]]

Hi Fabian,

 

You and me both are on the same path right now.  Depression and anxiety big time the last couple of days.  I was having a nice open window last week but on Monday I began to feel sick.  I dont think you need to go on disability, this shall pass and I am sure that there were times where you were very happy, grasp that feeling and keep it with you. 

 

Hope to hear from you.

 

Guillermo

[[...]]

Hi Fabian - just want to add my two cents worth.  Sorry you are feeling down at present.  Just a little suggestion - walking or exercise are great aids to healing with depression and anxiety.  I have a friend who can vouch for that - he was really down, just got himself out walking two or three times a day sometimes and he is now back to his normal self and he refused to take a/ds.  Exercising increases the serotonin levels in our body - same as a/ds do.