6-12 month thread....

[[Sa...]]

g33k,

 

So happy to hear you're getting a break!  Onward healing

[[so...]]

Saraa,

 

I reread your PM about 14 months off every single day!  God bless you for all the encouragement you've given me.  Thank you so so much.  Are you still on the upswing?

 

G33k,

 

Yay for you!!!  I can't wait for my cortisol mornings to leave me.  It's been my everyday life since I jumped.  I will be home free when it leaves.  So happy for you!!!!

 

Love and healing to you all, Sofa

[[Wo...]]

I had the nasty toxic mornings pretty much every day for about a year and a 1/2. It's such a common symptom around here. I started getting it less and less at around 1 year off. Now I rarely get it, and when I do it's much more tolerable. I used to have to get out of bed no matter how tired I was. Now I can sleep in, and often I sleep in even longer than I want to. Hang in there!

[[so...]]

Thanks Nova,

 

It's wonderful to hear this horrid symptom eventually peters out.

 

Love, Sofa

[[Sa...]]

Sofa,

 

Yes, I am on the up swing thank goodness & thank you for being here to support me and others.

Sofa,

What a horrid year this was for so many of us, i am so hopeful for 2016 and want to kick 2015 to the side with huge fire works but i'll settle to watch the ball drop on tv. 

 

 

 

[[He...]]

So from what I am gathering from everyone's latest posts is that things start to really improve around the one year mark.  Great ......... I'm only 1/2 way there .............  I know, patience!  Last night I had ZERO sleep, not one stinking minute.  I somehow made it to work (I refuse to spend the day in bed).  I have this horrendous restlessness about me now.  This is definitely something new.  I almost liked the being tired better as I thought it was more healing.  I sure hope this "phase" of healing doesn't last too long.  I really need sleep.  Sofa, I will try the socks.  My legs kicked all night last night (which is why I couldn't sleep) -- 4 hours the left leg and then 4 hours the right leg.  I also have been having generalized anxiety all the time now.  I keep telling myself this is not my new normal; that it is my sensitive CNS and that it needs to heal.  But now and then I freak out and think I need to be on a benzo for the anxiety I'm feeling now.  Not liking this at all.  I don't know how all of you who are further out than me have hung on for so long...........................  You are all very strong.

[[...]]

Not liking this at all.  I don't know how all of you who are further out than me have hung on for so long...........................  You are all very strong.

 

white knuckle ride for sure.  I could write a wall on text here but I wont.

 

you just have to hold on.

 

 

[[MT...]]

Herkie, remember when you didn't know how you'd make it to 6 months? But you did. You're strong too. That's the way we all do it. One freaking day at a time. I used to have all of these arbitrary dates. I believed I'd be better at 2 months, then 6, then by 10. Now, while I see progress, I figure for my worst symptom, insomnia, I probably am in for at least another year. I tell myself that if I could survive the last 30 months or so with almost no sleep, I can do another year or so, that the worst is now behind me.

 

When I used to run races my coaches taught me to never shoot for the finish line or you tend to peter out sooner. Instead, you give it all you've got and aim for a point a good bit further than the finish line. At this point I'd rather overshoot and assume I'm in for longer than I might need to heal than expect it to be over any time now and be crushed. Been there and done that. That being said, there still tend to be baseline improvements along the way.

[[Bu...]]

Hey guys,

 

I haven't been around lately. Things have been busy. Hope you all are doing better. I'm  still about 75% healed, but I swear things have not improved at all in several months. I feel stuck and I'm freaking out again that this is just me. My partner wants to get married and have a baby...not right now, but relatively soon.  She continues to be patient, but this feels overwhelming to me, and I keep thinking of ending the relationship.  She has stood by my side through this whole journey, so I keep hanging on. I just feel like I will never heal and I will only let her down. Guys, any encouragement would be very appreciated. I don't want to let this amazing person down, but I'm so exhausted...

 

Love,

Bubbles

[[He...]]

g33k - I will hold on.  Thank you for the encouragement.

 

MTfan - I don't know how you've been able to go so long without sleep.  That is truly amazing.  I too thought I would be healed by 6 months and have come to the realization that it will be longer, but as long as I see tiny improvements along the way, I will try to remain positive.

 

Bubbles - Don't let her go.  You are just so close to the finish line.  Don't lose hope.

[[Sa...]]

Herckie,

 

You will be one the ones that will recover sooner rather than later. 

One -You have been able to maintain your job and go to work.

Two- You are an athlete, one who exercises on a daily basis.

Three- Because i said so, lol.

 

I ct'd - was good as a vegetable- multi times ct'd not knowing what i was doing starting 30 years ago & i am doing pretty well now.  I am almost a year off. 

 

Do you see what i see?  Yes you think you can't but if i did so can you. 

We are here for you to hold you through to the other side

Love

Saraa

[[He...]]

Oh Sara, thank you so much for you message.  I love it.  I doubt my healing on a daily basis, but I will try to believe your message.  It sure sounds like you are doing better.  So happy for you!  I finally slept last night but unfortunately to do so, I had to take one of my husband's Ambien.  I don't think that set me back -- I think another night of no sleep would have set me back more.  Happy New Year ........... let's all have a better new year than 2015.

[[...]]

I have a question for you guys I am six weeks away from the one year mark I seem to the last month and a half developed extreme weakness I mean I am extremely weak where I can hardly get in and out of the shower.  I try to stay out of bed every day and walk around my back yard as much as I can.  did anyone else developed this extreme weakness and fatigue I went to the hospital had bloodwork drawn and everything was awesome so I know the inside of my body is working well my liver my kidneys my blood work all came out well what's got me really scared is this extreme weakness that seems to an envelope me.  anyone that can give me some kind of reassurance that they went through the same thing around this time would be extremely helpful

[[Bu...]]

Herckie,

 

Thank you. I feel like I can't heal fast enough. My partner is 37, and understandably, she wants to have a baby soon. This makes it very difficult for me to be patient with my healing. She feels like she is on a timeline, and so do I. I'm trying to accept that I simply can't control this. It' just very frustrating. I want to be available to her, and I'm simply not. I feel like I am holding her back, and this adds another layer of stress to this whole mess.

 

I hope your insomnia improves. Mine really turned around at the 9 month mark. I started sleeping about 6 hours a night. Right now, the insomnia is pretty much gone. I fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. I usually sleep about 7 hours a night now. I still can't sleep longer than that, and I still can't nap, but things are improving. Your sleep will improve too, I promise! I used to go three nights in a row with zero sleep. I thought it would never return to normal! You'll get there Herckie.

 

Bubbles

[[Sa...]]

Ddd,

 

I was bedridden for 1.5 months with the fatigue so bad i swear i was using layman's sign language to communicate.  Its lifted since about 2 weeks ago.  I am now in my 12th.  So yes it did happen to me.  It'll pass for sure.

 

[[so...]]

Ddd,

 

Pacing my backyard is the only exercise I get.  Then back to bed.  At least we keep the blood flowing to our brains.  When we are healed, we will get up and keep moving.  We will bounce back.  I will have completed 14 months on January 8.  I am staying positive that January is the month of healing for all of us.

 

Love, Sofa

[[Co...]]

My muscles are awful. Every time I try to do some exercise (very mild but necessary because I have pelvic issues) everything starts spasming, sometimes I cannot even walk. I wonder if I will ever heal (because of my polydrugging status

[[...]]

Ddd,

 

I was bedridden for 1.5 months with the fatigue so bad i swear i was using layman's sign language to communicate.  Its lifted since about 2 weeks ago.  I am now in my 12th.  So yes it did happen to me.  It'll pass for sure.

 

  thank you SaraA  I'm going into my eleventh month so hopefully my 12 month will be my saving grace out of this thank you for posting in reassuring me that this is normal it's just so hard to function and do stuff hard to walk hard to get out of bed I push myself I just can't wait for the pain to subside and be gone that seems to be my worst symptom

[[...]]

I just can't seem to get over how weak and shaky I am at 10 and a half months off are you sure this is normal

[[He...]]

Ddd, I am so sorry that you are suffering so.  This seems to be a particularly bad day, I guess.  I am not doing well either.  I so wish I had supportive words for you today.  I am only 6 months and 1 week out and I honestly cannot believe this can continue to be bad forever.  It will improve.  Read some success stories -- I've read them over and over again and they do help.  I am here for you.  PM me if you need someone to talk to.

[[MT...]]

My muscles are awful. Every time I try to do some exercise (very mild but necessary because I have pelvic issues) everything starts spasming, sometimes I cannot even walk. I wonder if I will ever heal (because of my polydrugging status

 

Corsair, I was a massive polydrugger, on psych drugs for 27 years, almost all of that time on 3-10 drugs at a time. At 12.5 months out I'm able to exercise pretty hard and often for long times. Today I hiked over 8 miles. I'm pretty sore and fatigued but there's no way I could have done this a few months ago. Actually, prior to about a month ago. I still have plenty of other symptoms but give yourself time and it will get better.

 

MT

[[re...]]

My wave to window to wave is speeding up just had 22 hr window going into a wave right now metallic taste,screaming tinnitus..........

[[...]]

Yesterday pain was not bad at all but too weak to hardly get out of bed today pain is horrible nerve pain from the back of my back all the way down my left to the bottom of my feet never ending one week away from 11 months and I'm praying that I start to turn a huge corner and have a window that doesn't close keep saying this is normal but doesn't feel like it

[[He...]]

I am doing so much better today.  Yesterday was a sh*t show.  The terrible wave started Friday afternoon and lifted last night.  We had plans Friday evening and Saturday and had to cancel all.  I could not get off the couch yesterday, could not eat at all, could not shower, nothing.  I believe yesterday was my worst day yet.  So thankful that I am better today.  There is hope everyone.  Please try to remember that when you are in a wave that they are temporary and you will feel better.  I discovered Nurse Jackie on Netflix yesterday and watched 22 episodes.  I have 30+ more to go.  Great show if you haven't seen it already -- check it out.  Wishing everyone lots of healing.  For those of you not doing well, please know that it does get better.

[[Sa...]]

Herckie- Glad you're getting some relief.

 

I refuse to think of how i woke up today as a wave.  I prefer to think that i over did things a bit and my brain is exhausted, not that i am going to let it off the hook and vegetate.  I plan to go over and help a friend tidy up.  I do feel that i have a new baseline if that's what its called. 

I need more energy and don't know how to get it besides being active.  I wish i could take some kind of a multi vitamin liquid if possible but i am afraid of setting off panic n stuff.

Stoping smoking or tapering would be the logical next step but i lack the backbone to fight with something else right now.

I eat healthy and can pretty much eat anything i want with the exception of coffee which i stay away being cautious the 9.5 month downturn doesn't repeat itself.  It could have been the coffee?  I don't know.  But at the early hours of am i was craving donuts and coffee.

I feel this was just a difficult morning and will get better later on.

I hope all get some relief soon