6-12 month thread....

[[be...]]

Just a quick update.

 

Yesterday I biked over 12 miles  with some friends. After Mr Sky invited them over for dinner to taste our pizza.

 

I can't believe I made it. It wasn't easy, I got a mild sun stroke, I had hard times thinking of something ok to say. But it happened it and it meant a lot to me. And after my head  ached so much ( it sill does) but I still fell asleep because thanfully my body was too exausted to allow for any nonsense!!!

 

I couldn't wait to tell you guys about it. I did normal stuff for a day. Can't wait to slowly have a long list of normal stuff days!

 

Wow, excited for you!! Healing in the making.

[[pe...]]

Congratulations, Sky! That sounds like a wonderful day. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and can sense more on their way! I love hearing about these good days. Friends! Bikes! 12 miles! (wowser!!) Pizza!

 

Rest and recover in that blissful safisfaction. You're doing this!

 

Healing is happening.

[[Sk...]]

Thanks guys, you know how much this means !

[[li...]]

Sky that is awesome!!!!  I am so happy that we are all starting to post our good days too. I think that it is crucial for all of us to do so. I think the reason why we do not is becuase we are affraid sometimes of admitting a wave right after. I hit a wave yesterday and hope to be out of it real soon -- like now!  anyway lets all post good stuff too. I did not post as I was feeling bad because I was posting such things last week Thanks all!

 

life

[[je...]]

Great news sky!! That is a big accomplishment!

[[Sk...]]

I guess we have to post both good and bad.

The good because we've gone through so much to achieve it, it's worth so much more and by showing both sides we're giving a more complete assessment of our we're doing.

 

[[pe...]]

I agree Sky. I need to hear the bad to know this is all part of withdrawal. It keeps my fear in check. I need to hear the good to know why I'm still fighting. Hope.

 

[[Ga...]]

Dear coop

Thank you for all your encouraging words.  We are all suffering but we all have such a heart, so much compassion and love for each other that it's really unbelievable.  I want to help and I get help.  We have learned one thing, in this awful road we travel to healing, we need each other.  I run here when in a wave, I need success stories, I need positive and uplifting threads.  I need to read about sxs that are Scaring me but I see others have them and so, I calm down.  So many angels on here. 

 

We are all healing.  Each in our own time.  All our bodies are different but, yet, similar.  Our goal is the same...full recovery, our lives back.  And we will make it, hand in hand, dragging each other along.

Thanks again, everyone.

Galea

[[No...]]

Galea - 

[[Co...]]

Life.  Oh my goodness...please post on your not so great days too....like Gaela said...we need to hear the good the bad and even the ugly. First of all to support one another, but Aldo to see that the ups and downs and all arounds are all part of it. When you were having tough times right before month 7 I was so inspired by your struggling posts because they said to me, " this guy is not giving up...even though he is completely feeling hopeless ". ..I was in the same hopeless place place and because of buddies like you slogging through the mire...I didn't give up either.

.....I am sorry your window dimmed....you know it will come back...I was so heartened by your happiness. It told me that we are all going to get our lives back. Are you noticing that even though you feel wavy today that your s/x are present but less intense? I have had some sunbreaks and even a half day window consistently for the last 4-5 days. On most of those days it would be almost ans hour to hour revolving door of s/x and sunbreaks and a pretty consistently decent baseline.

.....Keep it going Life.  And please keep posting we love hearing how you are doing ...up or down....coop

[[No...]]

Coop - the good the bad and the ugly? - now I have spaghetti western theme music keeping time with the tinnitus 

[[ro...]]

Nova....

 

Me too..

ahhh, but visuals of that rugged, hansome Clint Eastwood ..

[[je...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I wanted to give a little 8 month update. In month 7 I didnt feel like I was making any progress like I was at a plateau--the last week I was in a really bad wave. After the wave I entered month 8 and I feel my baseline has gone up again. I still have a lot of sx, but they are less severe now. I notice myself wanting to get out more and do things, my mood is so much better. I find myself not coming on BB as much and not thinking about my sx all the time. The headaches and heavy prssure filled head feelings are gone, depression and irritability are pretty much gone (unless Im in a wave), my nerve pain is mild now, tinnitis is down.  The one sx that is still really bothering me in the benzo belly--I dont see much improvement there My memory is still bad too, and Ive developed a new sx of ear pain and pressure. Overall I can see Ive made a ton of progress. Back in January only 4 months ago I was in acute w/d and wanted to commit suicide.Its crazy how you dont think you are making any improvement but then when I look back to 4 months ago I realize how bad I was and how much better Iam now. I hope you are all doing good, we are gonna make it!! Jenny

[[Co...]]

Nova and Rose...lol.....so sorry for the ear worm ...definitely telegraphing my age....

....hope you guys can shake the image and the tunes....

....Nova maybe you can bounce them out of your head....

..hope you all are having a very good day....coop

[[Co...]]

Jenny, thanks so much for your 8 month update....very encouraging...so glad for you....4 more months and you will have your year one anniversary. We will all celebrate with you. ..

....I am afraid to commit this to written word, but I am noticing a similar pattern as I enter month 7 ( June 4...never thought I would get that far). ...My mornings are still bad, but begin lifting by noon or so. This pattern was starting to emerge at month 6 but a Meniers episode and a 10 day wave wiped it out. My sleep is consistently better even though I am waking at about 5-530, but I was waking at 330 and not able to go back to sleep....and a spate of complete insomnia. Sometimes I wake up at 3..happy! ...go back to sleep and wake up with the usual cortixol morning s/x.

....Like you, I am beginning to want to get out and get going with something I am not quite trusting it yet, but taking some wobbly steps outwadrd. Went out and got a haircut ...took my daughter with me just in case ....I have been hacking away at my hair myself since Christmas b/c of the dizziness....I was looking very mountain woman...not at all attractive. ..Today I am enjoying a half day window...actually feeling happy after about 2 hours of d/r d/p...just happy to take the dog out...smiling at the dog ( he's a very good lab/shepherd boy)....he hasn't seen me smile at him for months...even though I love him dearly....surprised he didn't run away to find a better home months ago. ....

...Jenny hoping this holds for you....wishing you long long windows. Big congratulations on month 8

....PS....one thing I am happily noticing ..my love and joy for music is commingle back...have gone nearly a year without touching the discs...except for Gregorian Chant that I use for relaxation ...today I have gone through Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, John Lennon and his buddies, Pavarotti. and Andre B. .....wonderful to hear all those voices again!....coop

 

[[li...]]

Thanks Coop,

 

It is just so discouraging when we are in a great window and we then get hit with a wave. I am getting shorter waves and bigger windows -- at least until now. I am feeling better today than yesterday but would categorize today as in a light wave. Its so funny -- I have to look at it this way or cry -- when you are in a wave you just think negatively. The thinking goes like this -- maybe I just have GAD and this is not benzo w/d and etc. If its me then will I every get better? Yet when I think about it straight I understand that my baseline is really much better and my windows are wider and better. Benzo lies but I get confused too. Does anyone out there think that it may not be benzos? I knw I will feel better and hopefully by tonight or tomorrow -- just my belief.

 

life

[[je...]]

Jenny, thanks so much for your 8 month update....very encouraging...so glad for you....4 more months and you will have your year one anniversary. We will all celebrate with you. ..

....I am afraid to commit this to written word, but I am noticing a similar pattern as I enter month 7 ( June 4...never thought I would get that far). ...My mornings are still bad, but begin lifting by noon or so. This pattern was starting to emerge at month 6 but a Meniers episode and a 10 day wave wiped it out. My sleep is consistently better even though I am waking at about 5-530, but I was waking at 330 and not able to go back to sleep....and a spate of complete insomnia. Sometimes I wake up at 3..happy! ...go back to sleep and wake up with the usual cortixol morning s/x.

....Like you, I am beginning to want to get out and get going with something I am not quite trusting it yet, but taking some wobbly steps outwadrd. Went out and got a haircut ...took my daughter with me just in case ....I have been hacking away at my hair myself since Christmas b/c of the dizziness....I was looking very mountain woman...not at all attractive. ..Today I am enjoying a half day window...actually feeling happy after about 2 hours of d/r d/p...just happy to take the dog out...smiling at the dog ( he's a very good lab/shepherd boy)....he hasn't seen me smile at him for months...even though I love him dearly....surprised he didn't run away to find a better home months ago. ....

...Jenny hoping this holds for you....wishing you long long windows. Big congratulations on month 8

....PS....one thing I am happily noticing ..my love and joy for music is commingle back...have gone nearly a year without touching the discs...except for Gregorian Chant that I use for relaxation ...today I have gone through Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, John Lennon and his buddies, Pavarotti. and Andre B. .....wonderful to hear all those voices again!....coop

 

 

Coop,

 

That is so great that you are wanting to get out more and your love for music is coming back, these are all very positive signs!! You gave me a good chuckle about your dog, that is what is so great about animals they love you unconditionally. Im praying we all have something to celebrate at our 1 year mark! Take care, Jenny

[[Co...]]

Life...I am so right there with you....every wave kidnaps my brain and holds me captive to health fear.....and yes I cry... That's exactly why I started a second progress journal...to track ONLY the windows....so I could remind myself that I even had windows, because I would totally forget...could not remember the waves. ....

.  ...You will have windows again. Life....be gentle with yourself....You are closing in on a year..that is such a big deal... thinking of you Life.....yes you could wake up tomorrow in a window...or the window could open half way through the day....I think your windows will start coming closer together now....just based on the posts on this thread and some of the success stories.

...........coop

[[pe...]]

Jenny and Coop- you are pulling me through a rough patch with your positive posts. It's so good to hear about your good days, your return to music Coop, and hitting the 8 month mark Jenny. I love it! I got a giggle from your mountain woman comment, Coop. I'm sure most of us are looking a little worse for wear. But I bet you're looking great with your new hairdo!

[[He...]]

Hi Buddies!

Wowza...this weekend has been a BIG test on my sensitive nervous system!! I am in Reno, NV for a massive AAU basketball tournament that has 1100 teams.  My younger daughter is playing on two teams and my husband and older daughter are coaching another team. The huge Convention Center is set up with rows and rows of basketball courts, and other games are played in other venues.  I have been dealing with major crowds, loud and intense games, busy schedules, sleeping away from home, eating out...not to mention the craziness of the casino that I have to walk through several times a day.  But guess what?  I'm doing pretty good!    A bit wavey today at times, but nothing too bad.  I did have to leave the buffet a bit early this morning because it was just too much.  Right in the center of the casino, dark with unnatural lighting, major crowds for the Sunday buffet.  Other than that, it's been pretty good. 

I would have NOT been ok with all this around the 6 month mark!  NO WAY... 

But here I am, almost 11 months off and I'm doing pretty darn good....not feeling 100%, but I'm surviving this craziness. 

We really do heal!

[[je...]]

Awesome news Hope!! Im so happy for you

[[ro...]]

coop. love the mountain woman hair comment and about your dog..

Glad you are finding joy in former things also rose

[[Ko...]]

I'm 10 days from completing month 6 & it's been hell.  I have had a couple of partial windows that only last a couple of hours.  My insomnia has gotten worse. I used to be able to sleep during the day, but this week I'm having  difficulty sleeping anytime.  My major concern is my Benzo belly which gets so big it's really uncomfortable.  I posted another thread about this , "Benzo Belly difficulties".  Please read it and comment if you have or had Benzo Belly.  There have been some improvements or changes in that the boaty feeling comes less often as does lead legs.  Still getting burning legs but mostly at night.  I'm looking forward to some more partial windows for a little relief. I still have hope going forward.

 

Jenny21

Please read my Benzo Belly thread and comment since you have it too.  Thanks

[[je...]]

Hi Korbe,

 

I did see your thread and comment on it. This is my worst sx and I really wish it would go away, it seems no one has an answer or a solution. I guess we just have to wait it out and hope it goes away soon. If I find anything that helps or have an improvement I will be sure to comment again on your thread. Take care, Jenny

[[No...]]

Korbe - The "belly" and "sleep" are two realy hard ones amongst so damn many. I do not have any help for either of these. My "sleep" is changing and I suppose improving. The "belly" just keeps hangin' around. Being able to notice even small improvements helps. I went a long time without noticing any. Bigger changes are coming.

 

Take Care.