Knackered in the Sky with Benzos   

    Hey there, Knackered here.  Having recently explored the perils and potholes of road tripping while on the withdrawal path, today we look skyward to the airlines as a source of moving ourselves around.  Just as automobile adventures require special adaptations for those of us brave enough to put ourselves out there, taking to the air is a journey in and of itself.  Going anywhere through any airport requires a massive amount of identification these days, lest you be sidelined as a sketchy traveler bent on the destruction of yourself and others.  If you don’t own a passport or endorsed driving license, pre TSA vetting, handicapped parking permit and scores of five dollars bills (tipping money), you’ll want to start now if you plan on going to see the family next Christmas.

   Fully credentialed, check your phone to calculate the mileage to the nearest terminal and multiply it times five.  You’ll need to include travel time to the airport, baggage kiosk (present your first five), wheel chair assistance (wise to have arranged, but you’ll need another five), TSA checkpoint (do not give them a five unless you want to spend the next two hours in their “special consult room”), and another bathroom stop.  Admit it, you should know better than to drink coffee while on a benzo taper.  And then, finally, the terminal where you’ll need to wait in anticipation for your flight which will be there on time, give or take half an hour.

   Use your own judgment in regard to the amount of baggage (we’re talking suitcases here) you wish to take beforehand.  You may be one of those individuals who can put a toothbrush and an extra pair of undies in the same paper sack with your lunch and get by just fine.  We normally carry four in all.  Three carry presents for the grand kids, and my wife and I carry our toothbrushes and undies in the fourth.  Shower and use deodorant before time, but realize that your neighbor, sitting on your lap, may not have done so.  Pack yourself a lunch of some sort.  The idea of getting food served to you only happened during the black and white movies of the past.  You’d best avoid the bathroom scene if possible.  Nevertheless, back in if you must, lest you never emerge.  And by all means lock the door.  Be honest with yourself.  If intruded upon, those reading this won’t be able to stand and cover before full exposure.  And, it stands without saying, but please take extra medication and needed paraphernalia to prepare it.  Just because you arrive is no guarantee that you’ll make it home when your ticket says you will.