Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[sh...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

I started cutting every 2 weeks only recently. It's not in my signature...but I held at 15mg from October/November  2015 to April or May 2016. I tried a daily liquid micro taper over the summer..it didn't work for me...then I held for another 90 days...now I'm back to cut and hold...my body seems to prefer it for now anyway.

 

As far as the doctor goes...find a new one. It took me a while to find the doctor I'm working with now. But, he's benzo wise, is willing to work with me and my difficult taper, and he actually cares!

 

I'm trying to slowly taper Dexilant (a PPI) also. I'm on some seizure meds but won't taper them until I m off the V.

 

Hi Left Behind,

 

Can you share with me, how you discovered you are a rapid metabolizer.  You say genetic testing.  I wonder how you did that?  I suspect I may be as well.  I get interdose with 3 doses.  But I'm in a bad space.  Too many cuts too fast and into my 6th week of withdrawl.  Should have gone back up at 2 weeks, but thought I would get through it.  Withdrawl constant on some days.  Then I get windows too.  But I was crossed over too low and not stable to start.  Not sure how to fix that.

 

How did you find a Benzo wise doctor?  I've looked all over and can't find one so far.  My pdoc doesn't know how to help me.  Been in practice 35 years and never had a patient have this hard of a time getting off such a small dose of Benzo. 

Seeing a specialist tomorrow, but haven't high hopes for I think he is pretty old school and uses detox.  But I'm hoping not.

 

You haven't had any problems with your long holds?  I'm at 6 weeks and starting to worry about tolerance.  Can you share why you held so long and how it turned out for you before cutting again.  Are you in withdrawl when you cut?

Thanks for your answers.

 

Sharkie

[[Le...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

I started cutting every 2 weeks only recently. It's not in my signature...but I held at 15mg from October/November  2015 to April or May 2016. I tried a daily liquid micro taper over the summer..it didn't work for me...then I held for another 90 days...now I'm back to cut and hold...my body seems to prefer it for now anyway.

 

As far as the doctor goes...find a new one. It took me a while to find the doctor I'm working with now. But, he's benzo wise, is willing to work with me and my difficult taper, and he actually cares!

 

I'm trying to slowly taper Dexilant (a PPI) also. I'm on some seizure meds but won't taper them until I m off the V.

 

Hi Left Behind,

 

Can you share with me, how you discovered you are a rapid metabolizer.  You say genetic testing.  I wonder how you did that?  I suspect I may be as well.  I get interdose with 3 doses.  But I'm in a bad space.  Too many cuts too fast and into my 6th week of withdrawl.  Should have gone back up at 2 weeks, but thought I would get through it.  Withdrawl constant on some days.  Then I get windows too.  But I was crossed over too low and not stable to start.  Not sure how to fix that.

 

How did you find a Benzo wise doctor?  I've looked all over and can't find one so far.  My pdoc doesn't know how to help me.  Been in practice 35 years and never had a patient have this hard of a time getting off such a small dose of Benzo. 

Seeing a specialist tomorrow, but haven't high hopes for I think he is pretty old school and uses detox.  But I'm hoping not.

 

You haven't had any problems with your long holds?  I'm at 6 weeks and starting to worry about tolerance.  Can you share why you held so long and how it turned out for you before cutting again.  Are you in withdrawl when you cut?

Thanks for your answers.

 

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie, I have a history of bad reactions to psych meds and was having serious problems with my taper so my pdoc did genetic testing through a lab he uses. Results confirmed my problems with the psych meds and showed I was an ultrarapid metabolizer of Valium  (CYP450-2C19) that's why I dose 4xs a day

 

The battery on both my tablet and phone are dying..   I'll respond more fully to your questions tomorrow, promise... till then hang in there, it will get better.

 

Till tomorrow, Left 

[[so...]]

Left,

 

Thank you! That was such a nice post! I'm relieved to hear that these leg symptoms might just get better! They don't bother me much until the end of the night when I'm finishing up work at my standing desk. I'm thinking about doing half the day standing and half sitting, but that involves bringing a desk down here from a different room of the house and I can't motivate myself to do it. Lol. I think it might be wise though. Not sure that I'll make it through full standing workdays as I finish this taper!

 

Thanks for the congrats too! We're actually not married yet, that's our 20th anniversary of our first date when we were 14! We were just babies, lol. We're 34 now. We've had our ups and downs and our ons and offs, but I'm sure we will finally get around to tying the knot in our 40s. People keep asking when we will but if we've waited this long, why rush now? Lol. I guess we'll know when the time is right.

 

I already almost forgot to meditate tonight, so thanks for the reminder! Hehe

 

Hope you're having a good night!

[[fi...]]

This may be a dumb question (most of mine are) -

 

I will be diluting my RX Liquid Valium when I start my daily micro - I decided to try the RX first - ( if that doesnt work, I'll liquify my own tablets).......but..... how do I store my diluted RX liquid valium - how long does it last - does it need to be refrigerated?Meaning can I make a weeks worth and store it on my counter top?

 

Thank you all........

[[Le...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

I started cutting every 2 weeks only recently. It's not in my signature...but I held at 15mg from October/November  2015 to April or May 2016. I tried a daily liquid micro taper over the summer..it didn't work for me...then I held for another 90 days...now I'm back to cut and hold...my body seems to prefer it for now anyway.

 

As far as the doctor goes...find a new one. It took me a while to find the doctor I'm working with now. But, he's benzo wise, is willing to work with me and my difficult taper, and he actually cares!

 

I'm trying to slowly taper Dexilant (a PPI) also. I'm on some seizure meds but won't taper them until I m off the V.

 

Hi Left Behind,

 

Can you share with me, how you discovered you are a rapid metabolizer.  You say genetic testing.  I wonder how you did that?  I suspect I may be as well.  I get interdose with 3 doses.  But I'm in a bad space.  Too many cuts too fast and into my 6th week of withdrawl.  Should have gone back up at 2 weeks, but thought I would get through it.  Withdrawl constant on some days.  Then I get windows too.  But I was crossed over too low and not stable to start.  Not sure how to fix that.

 

How did you find a Benzo wise doctor?  I've looked all over and can't find one so far.  My pdoc doesn't know how to help me.  Been in practice 35 years and never had a patient have this hard of a time getting off such a small dose of Benzo. 

Seeing a specialist tomorrow, but haven't high hopes for I think he is pretty old school and uses detox.  But I'm hoping not.

 

You haven't had any problems with your long holds?  I'm at 6 weeks and starting to worry about tolerance.  Can you share why you held so long and how it turned out for you before cutting again.  Are you in withdrawl when you cut?

Thanks for your answers.

 

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie, I have a history of bad reactions to psych meds and was having serious problems with my taper so my pdoc did genetic testing through a lab he uses. Results confirmed my problems with the psych meds and showed I was an ultrarapid metabolizer of Valium  (CYP450-2C19) that's why I dose 4xs a day

 

The battery on both my tablet and phone are dying..   I'll respond more fully to your questions tomorrow, promise... till then hang in there, it will get better.

 

Till tomorrow, Left 

 

Hi Sharkie, hope today is a little better for you. No you weren't given enough time to stabilize on the valium. Then you cut a large amount of V within a month...no wonder you feel so poorly. You could try to hold until you feel better, or, if the sxs are unbearable, maybe try  both an updose and a hold until stabilized. The interdose might be a result of not having enough valium  built up in your system and your body trying to adjust to the crossover from the ativan to the valium.

 

I got the same song and dance from my former pdoc. They know how to prescribe this junk but have no clue how to safely taper you off. I looked up the top pdocs in my area and started calling allmof them, asking lots of questions before going in for a consultation. I believe there is a list of Benzo wise doctors somewhere here on the forum....I just don't know exactly where it is. You could also start a thread asking if anyone knows of a benzo wise doctor in your area. Yeah, detox is not the way to go off this drug.

 

I did the long hold because I was completely nonfunctional, both mentally and physically...I was a mess and at my breaking point. Something had to change. Cutting was making me worse...so I held for 6 months. It took at least 4 months before I started feeling better, then my worst sxs started to slowly improve. They haven't gone  away completely, but they have lessened in intensity for the most part.

 

Hope this helps you Sharkie...I know you're in a bad place right now, but it does get better...it gets better...

 

Sorry it took me so long to respond...my brain doesn't work to well these days   

Left 

[[Le...]]

This may be a dumb question (most of mine are) -

 

I will be diluting my RX Liquid Valium when I start my daily micro - I decided to try the RX first - ( if that doesnt work, I'll liquify my own tablets).......but..... how do I store my diluted RX liquid valium - how long does it last - does it need to be refrigerated?Meaning can I make a weeks worth and store it on my counter top?

 

Thank you all........

Hi Fight...there's no such thing as a dumb question

 

Store the diluted valium in a gasketed glass jar and keep it away from any light. I used a mason jar and covered it up with a brown paper bag...very high tech. It does not need to be refrigerated and the solution will last for a week.

 

Left

 

 

 

[[Le...]]

Left,

 

Thank you! That was such a nice post! I'm relieved to hear that these leg symptoms might just get better! They don't bother me much until the end of the night when I'm finishing up work at my standing desk. I'm thinking about doing half the day standing and half sitting, but that involves bringing a desk down here from a different room of the house and I can't motivate myself to do it. Lol. I think it might be wise though. Not sure that I'll make it through full standing workdays as I finish this taper!

 

Thanks for the congrats too! We're actually not married yet, that's our 20th anniversary of our first date when we were 14! We were just babies, lol. We're 34 now. We've had our ups and downs and our ons and offs, but I'm sure we will finally get around to tying the knot in our 40s. People keep asking when we will but if we've waited this long, why rush now? Lol. I guess we'll know when the time is right.

 

I already almost forgot to meditate tonight, so thanks for the reminder! Hehe

 

Hope you're having a good night!

Solace, I'm right there with you on the lack of motivation... and I don't know about you, but my brain is on strike... or rather it works when it feels like it...which isn't often 

 

That's awesome that you and your partner have been together since you were 14...and you remember your first date! So cool ! As far as making it "official"... what's that saying? If it ain't broke don't  fix it?

 

I meditated this morning using a guided visualization app and promptly fell asleep  :laugh: Although, I know sooner or later sleep will be an evasive target so I'm happy I got the rest when I could.

 

Left 

[[ed...]]

Left,

 

Thank you! That was such a nice post! I'm relieved to hear that these leg symptoms might just get better! They don't bother me much until the end of the night when I'm finishing up work at my standing desk. I'm thinking about doing half the day standing and half sitting, but that involves bringing a desk down here from a different room of the house and I can't motivate myself to do it. Lol. I think it might be wise though. Not sure that I'll make it through full standing workdays as I finish this taper!

 

Thanks for the congrats too! We're actually not married yet, that's our 20th anniversary of our first date when we were 14! We were just babies, lol. We're 34 now. We've had our ups and downs and our ons and offs, but I'm sure we will finally get around to tying the knot in our 40s. People keep asking when we will but if we've waited this long, why rush now? Lol. I guess we'll know when the time is right.

 

I already almost forgot to meditate tonight, so thanks for the reminder! Hehe

 

Hope you're having a good night!

Solace, I'm right there with you on the lack of motivation... and I don't know about you, but my brain is on strike... or rather it works when it feels like it...which isn't often 

 

That's awesome that you and your partner have been together since you were 14...and you remember your first date! So cool ! As far as making it "official"... what's that saying? If it ain't broke don't  fix it?

 

I meditated this morning using a guided visualization app and promptly fell asleep  :laugh: Although, I know sooner or later sleep will be an evasive target so I'm happy I got the rest when I could.

 

Left 

 

Hi! What is the name of the app if you don't mind?

 

Thanks,

Ed

[[Le...]]

Hi Ed, the one I like is Mindfulness Meditations by Glenn Harrold. He has a few different meditations...releasing anxiety, relaxation, deep sleep, etc... you can download the short version of Mindfulness for Releasing Anxiety free. If you like his style you can download the other meditations for a small fee. There's also a YouTube channel I love by Jason Stephenson... all kinds of good stuff there.

 

Left   

[[ed...]]

Hi Ed, the one I like is Mindfulness Meditations by Glenn Harrold. He has a few different meditations...releasing anxiety, relaxation, deep sleep, etc... you can download the short version of Mindfulness for Releasing Anxiety free. If you like his style you can download the other meditations for a small fee. There's also a YouTube channel I love by Jason Stephenson... all kinds of good stuff there.

 

Left   

 

Thanks!

 

:smitten:

Ed

[[bu...]]

This may be a dumb question (most of mine are) -

 

I will be diluting my RX Liquid Valium when I start my daily micro - I decided to try the RX first - ( if that doesnt work, I'll liquify my own tablets).......but..... how do I store my diluted RX liquid valium - how long does it last - does it need to be refrigerated?Meaning can I make a weeks worth and store it on my counter top?

 

Thank you all........

Hi Fight...there's no such thing as a dumb question

 

Store the diluted valium in a gasketed glass jar and keep it away from any light. I used a mason jar and covered it up with a brown paper bag...very high tech. It does not need to be refrigerated and the solution will last for a week.

 

Left

 

 

Right answer!

 

:thumbsup:

 

 

[[cr...]]

Yikes, the diluted Valium can only last a week?  I have been using the diluted Valium for months. My husband diluted the RX liquid Valium with water, put it in a large brown bottle and I take it every night.  So, he should only make a weeks worth at a time?  Been doing it like this for a long time, what kind of problems could that create?  Thank you. Cross

[[Le...]]

Yikes, the diluted Valium can only last a week?  I have been using the diluted Valium for months. My husband diluted the RX liquid Valium with water, put it in a large brown bottle and I take it every night.  So, he should only make a weeks worth at a time?  Been doing it like this for a long time, what kind of problems could that create?  Thank you. Cross

Cross, I didn't mean to give you a scare...so sorry. I was trying to help another Buddy and was going by my personal experience.

 

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, especially if your system works for you. Please don't worry If your diluted Valium solution lasts for months and works for you please don't change what you're doing because of what I said.

 

Builder, please clarify how long diluted RX Valium lasts.

 

Thanks, Left

[[bu...]]

Yikes, the diluted Valium can only last a week?  I have been using the diluted Valium for months. My husband diluted the RX liquid Valium with water, put it in a large brown bottle and I take it every night.  So, he should only make a weeks worth at a time?  Been doing it like this for a long time, what kind of problems could that create?  Thank you. Cross

Cross, I didn't mean to give you a scare...so sorry. I was trying to help another Buddy and was going by my personal experience.

 

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, especially if your system works for you. Please don't worry If your diluted Valium solution lasts for months and works for you please don't change what you're doing because of what I said.

 

Builder, please clarify how long diluted RX Valium lasts.

 

Thanks, Left

 

As far as stability and potency, it will probably last several years.  The only risk is possible bacterialogical or fungal growth since it probably not prepared and handled in perfectly sterile conditions.  During my 2 year taper there were 2 occasions where there was a slight "icky" consistency that appeared near the end of a 2 week batch.  But I used it anyway, and there was no apparent change in potency.

 

Remember, the Rx liquid, which is basically Valium, PG, and water, has a shelf life of 3 years.  Adding a little more water is not going to decrease the shelf life.

[[sh...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

I started cutting every 2 weeks only recently. It's not in my signature...but I held at 15mg from October/November  2015 to April or May 2016. I tried a daily liquid micro taper over the summer..it didn't work for me...then I held for another 90 days...now I'm back to cut and hold...my body seems to prefer it for now anyway.

 

As far as the doctor goes...find a new one. It took me a while to find the doctor I'm working with now. But, he's benzo wise, is willing to work with me and my difficult taper, and he actually cares!

 

I'm trying to slowly taper Dexilant (a PPI) also. I'm on some seizure meds but won't taper them until I m off the V.

 

Hi Left Behind,

 

Can you share with me, how you discovered you are a rapid metabolizer.  You say genetic testing.  I wonder how you did that?  I suspect I may be as well.  I get interdose with 3 doses.  But I'm in a bad space.  Too many cuts too fast and into my 6th week of withdrawl.  Should have gone back up at 2 weeks, but thought I would get through it.  Withdrawl constant on some days.  Then I get windows too.  But I was crossed over too low and not stable to start.  Not sure how to fix that.

 

How did you find a Benzo wise doctor?  I've looked all over and can't find one so far.  My pdoc doesn't know how to help me.  Been in practice 35 years and never had a patient have this hard of a time getting off such a small dose of Benzo. 

Seeing a specialist tomorrow, but haven't high hopes for I think he is pretty old school and uses detox.  But I'm hoping not.

 

You haven't had any problems with your long holds?  I'm at 6 weeks and starting to worry about tolerance.  Can you share why you held so long and how it turned out for you before cutting again.  Are you in withdrawl when you cut?

Thanks for your answers.

 

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie, I have a history of bad reactions to psych meds and was having serious problems with my taper so my pdoc did genetic testing through a lab he uses. Results confirmed my problems with the psych meds and showed I was an ultrarapid metabolizer of Valium  (CYP450-2C19) that's why I dose 4xs a day

 

The battery on both my tablet and phone are dying..   I'll respond more fully to your questions tomorrow, promise... till then hang in there, it will get better.

 

Till tomorrow, Left 

 

Hi Sharkie, hope today is a little better for you. No you weren't given enough time to stabilize on the valium. Then you cut a large amount of V within a month...no wonder you feel so poorly. You could try to hold until you feel better, or, if the sxs are unbearable, maybe try  both an updose and a hold until stabilized. The interdose might be a result of not having enough valium  built up in your system and your body trying to adjust to the crossover from the ativan to the valium.

 

I got the same song and dance from my former pdoc. They know how to prescribe this junk but have no clue how to safely taper you off. I looked up the top pdocs in my area and started calling allmof them, asking lots of questions before going in for a consultation. I believe there is a list of Benzo wise doctors somewhere here on the forum....I just don't know exactly where it is. You could also start a thread asking if anyone knows of a benzo wise doctor in your area. Yeah, detox is not the way to go off this drug.

 

I did the long hold because I was completely nonfunctional, both mentally and physically...I was a mess and at my breaking point. Something had to change. Cutting was making me worse...so I held for 6 months. It took at least 4 months before I started feeling better, then my worst sxs started to slowly improve. They haven't gone  away completely, but they have lessened in intensity for the most part.

 

Hope this helps you Sharkie...I know you're in a bad place right now, but it does get better...it gets better...

 

Sorry it took me so long to respond...my brain doesn't work to well these days   

Left 

 

Thanks left behind for your reply.  Do you recall the name of the genetic test?

Also, when you were in that completely bad place and held for 6 months, did that just come on from a single cut or multiple cuts adding up until you were at the point where you held.  I'm trying to figure out if people keep cutting when not stable.

 

Thanks much for your encouragment.  Every day, I want to updose, but I fear I may have held too long and it won't do any good.  I can't believe how long it is taking symptoms to resolve.  Kind of feel stuck.  Worry about holding so long and worry about updosing and having harder time getting back down after this long of a hold.

 

Sharkie

[[Le...]]

Yikes, the diluted Valium can only last a week?  I have been using the diluted Valium for months. My husband diluted the RX liquid Valium with water, put it in a large brown bottle and I take it every night.  So, he should only make a weeks worth at a time?  Been doing it like this for a long time, what kind of problems could that create?  Thank you. Cross

Cross, I didn't mean to give you a scare...so sorry. I was trying to help another Buddy and was going by my personal experience.

 

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, especially if your system works for you. Please don't worry If your diluted Valium solution lasts for months and works for you please don't change what you're doing because of what I said.

 

Builder, please clarify how long diluted RX Valium lasts.

 

Thanks, Left

 

As far as stability and potency, it will probably last several years.  The only risk is possible bacterialogical or fungal growth since it probably not prepared and handled in perfectly sterile conditions.  During my 2 year taper there were 2 occasions where there was a slight "icky" consistency that appeared near the end of a 2 week batch.  But I used it anyway, and there was no apparent change in potency.

 

Remember, the Rx liquid, which is basically Valium, PG, and water, has a shelf life of 3 years.  Adding a little more water is not going to decrease the shelf life.

Thanks Builder!

[[fi...]]

Thank you Ed and Builder -

 

Stay tuned.........more "never a dumb question" (s) -  headed your way....... of this small fact, I am sure!

[[Le...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

I started cutting every 2 weeks only recently. It's not in my signature...but I held at 15mg from October/November  2015 to April or May 2016. I tried a daily liquid micro taper over the summer..it didn't work for me...then I held for another 90 days...now I'm back to cut and hold...my body seems to prefer it for now anyway.

 

As far as the doctor goes...find a new one. It took me a while to find the doctor I'm working with now. But, he's benzo wise, is willing to work with me and my difficult taper, and he actually cares!

 

I'm trying to slowly taper Dexilant (a PPI) also. I'm on some seizure meds but won't taper them until I m off the V.

 

Hi Left Behind,

 

Can you share with me, how you discovered you are a rapid metabolizer.  You say genetic testing.  I wonder how you did that?  I suspect I may be as well.  I get interdose with 3 doses.  But I'm in a bad space.  Too many cuts too fast and into my 6th week of withdrawl.  Should have gone back up at 2 weeks, but thought I would get through it.  Withdrawl constant on some days.  Then I get windows too.  But I was crossed over too low and not stable to start.  Not sure how to fix that.

 

How did you find a Benzo wise doctor?  I've looked all over and can't find one so far.  My pdoc doesn't know how to help me.  Been in practice 35 years and never had a patient have this hard of a time getting off such a small dose of Benzo. 

Seeing a specialist tomorrow, but haven't high hopes for I think he is pretty old school and uses detox.  But I'm hoping not.

 

You haven't had any problems with your long holds?  I'm at 6 weeks and starting to worry about tolerance.  Can you share why you held so long and how it turned out for you before cutting again.  Are you in withdrawl when you cut?

Thanks for your answers.

 

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie, I have a history of bad reactions to psych meds and was having serious problems with my taper so my pdoc did genetic testing through a lab he uses. Results confirmed my problems with the psych meds and showed I was an ultrarapid metabolizer of Valium  (CYP450-2C19) that's why I dose 4xs a day

 

The battery on both my tablet and phone are dying..   I'll respond more fully to your questions tomorrow, promise... till then hang in there, it will get better.

 

Till tomorrow, Left 

 

Hi Sharkie, hope today is a little better for you. No you weren't given enough time to stabilize on the valium. Then you cut a large amount of V within a month...no wonder you feel so poorly. You could try to hold until you feel better, or, if the sxs are unbearable, maybe try  both an updose and a hold until stabilized. The interdose might be a result of not having enough valium  built up in your system and your body trying to adjust to the crossover from the ativan to the valium.

 

I got the same song and dance from my former pdoc. They know how to prescribe this junk but have no clue how to safely taper you off. I looked up the top pdocs in my area and started calling allmof them, asking lots of questions before going in for a consultation. I believe there is a list of Benzo wise doctors somewhere here on the forum....I just don't know exactly where it is. You could also start a thread asking if anyone knows of a benzo wise doctor in your area. Yeah, detox is not the way to go off this drug.

 

I did the long hold because I was completely nonfunctional, both mentally and physically...I was a mess and at my breaking point. Something had to change. Cutting was making me worse...so I held for 6 months. It took at least 4 months before I started feeling better, then my worst sxs started to slowly improve. They haven't gone  away completely, but they have lessened in intensity for the most part.

 

Hope this helps you Sharkie...I know you're in a bad place right now, but it does get better...it gets better...

 

Sorry it took me so long to respond...my brain doesn't work to well these days   

Left 

 

Thanks left behind for your reply.  Do you recall the name of the genetic test?

Also, when you were in that completely bad place and held for 6 months, did that just come on from a single cut or multiple cuts adding up until you were at the point where you held.  I'm trying to figure out if people keep cutting when not stable.

 

Thanks much for your encouragment.  Every day, I want to updose, but I fear I may have held too long and it won't do any good.  I can't believe how long it is taking symptoms to resolve.  Kind of feel stuck.  Worry about holding so long and worry about updosing and having harder time getting back down after this long of a hold.

 

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie, I had the Genocept Assay done by a lab called Genomind.

 

My bad place resulted from a number of things: a CT, reinstatement with no time to stabilize, followed by a too aggressive taper plan devised by my former doctor. I switched doctors, but the second doctor wouldn't give me control over the taper either and dismissed my symptoms. Within a year the CT, botched reinstatement, and too fast taper had taken its toll on my body and mind. I was toast so to speak.

 

Stable is a relative word in benzo withdrawal. It doesn't necessarily mean without symptoms. For example, I experience many withdrawal symptoms, but now they are manageable. If they intensify beyond a certain point or if more severe symptoms pop up I know I'm pushing myself too much and I slow down. Long story short, stable is subjective.

 

I understand the frustration about the long hold...second guessing your decision, wondering whether you should updose, hold longer, or start cutting, feeling stuck. The same thoughts ran through my mind constantly when I was in your situation. Personally for me, the hold was a huge blessing. I'm doing things I haven't been able to do in over two years 

 

I understand your concerns anout updosing. Some people updose, get relief from their worst symptoms and are able to continue tapering with fewer problems. For others it doesn't work. The key to getting off this vile pill is determining what method works best for you...and often that takes time and trial and error on your part to figure out.

 

Have faith that it will work out...trust yourself

 

Left 

[[so...]]

Solace, I'm right there with you on the lack of motivation... and I don't know about you, but my brain is on strike... or rather it works when it feels like it...which isn't often 

 

That's awesome that you and your partner have been together since you were 14...and you remember your first date! So cool ! As far as making it "official"... what's that saying? If it ain't broke don't  fix it?

 

I meditated this morning using a guided visualization app and promptly fell asleep  :laugh: Although, I know sooner or later sleep will be an evasive target so I'm happy I got the rest when I could.

 

Left 

 

Our first date was actually after flirting for nine long months on the phone (I don't even know why, it wasn't a long distance thing, I guess we were just shy lol) so it was effectively the start of our relationship! Crazy to think it was 20 yrs ago already! And we were actually friends since we were eight years old, so we've more or less spent our whole lives together. I don't really think of that often but when I do, it kind of blows my mind.

 

I had a really good day today. My anxiety is still high and I feel a little off kilter... I don't want to call it dizzy, but just off, you know? But I decided that as of today, I'm not going to talk about health-related stuff anymore (health anxiety was my reason for taking benzos to begin with). My partner has pointed out many times that that's all I ever talk about and that we never have normal conversations anymore. It finally hit me how bad that really is, not just relationship wise, but for me mentally.

 

I did not say a single thing about health stuff today and I had an amazing day. I worked on a craft project that I haven't touched in a couple of years and we watched Halloween movies. The anxiety was still there and I was still feeling funky in general, but since I didn't verbalize it, we were able to talk about FUN things and HAPPY things. It was honestly kind of amazing.

 

I made a thread about this on the anxiety board in case anyone else would be inspired to try the same thing. Cutting back simply wasn't working so I decided to go cold turkey with the health talk! It will be interesting to see what effect this actually has on me. I suspect it will be major. All I ever do is complain or worry out loud!

 

And it's not about being positive in a fake way. Just about not verbalizing all the worry. Because it truly never makes me feel any better to do so anyway. I always think I'm getting it off my chest but really I'm just burning it into my brain even deeper. No more.

 

Here's hoping tomorrow and Monday (my bday!) will be just as good. It's time to take better care of myself and this is how I'm going to begin doing so.

[[Ma...]]

Stable is a relative word in benzo withdrawal. It doesn't necessarily mean without symptoms. For example, I experience many withdrawal symptoms, but now they are manageable. If they intensify beyond a certain point or if more severe symptoms pop up I know I'm pushing myself too much and I slow down. Long story short, stable is subjectivery.    Quote

 

I'm learning this lesson now just starting microtaper liquid. Daily  Last 2 days anxiety. Functional. Manageable but general shitty feeling.  The mind immediately goes to what action do i need  to take?  Hold?. I'm only doing .030 daily. Down .5 mg  So with the help of bb I know there are going to probably always be sensations that are not fun. But this is stable.  When it gets worse and worse. Action needs to happen. Right?

 

[[bl...]]

Anyone else have trouble sleeping because of swollen feeling/numb arms and hands. My doctor suggested L-Theanine and Mag but I've heard mag is not good for w/d. I'm at a loss. Its  been worst symptom for almost a year now and I am just terrified to taper anymore. Thanks for any thoughts.

[[sh...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

I started cutting every 2 weeks only recently. It's not in my signature...but I held at 15mg from October/November  2015 to April or May 2016. I tried a daily liquid micro taper over the summer..it didn't work for me...then I held for another 90 days...now I'm back to cut and hold...my body seems to prefer it for now anyway.

 

As far as the doctor goes...find a new one. It took me a while to find the doctor I'm working with now. But, he's benzo wise, is willing to work with me and my difficult taper, and he actually cares!

 

I'm trying to slowly taper Dexilant (a PPI) also. I'm on some seizure meds but won't taper them until I m off the V.

 

Hi Left Behind,

 

Can you share with me, how you discovered you are a rapid metabolizer.  You say genetic testing.  I wonder how you did that?  I suspect I may be as well.  I get interdose with 3 doses.  But I'm in a bad space.  Too many cuts too fast and into my 6th week of withdrawl.  Should have gone back up at 2 weeks, but thought I would get through it.  Withdrawl constant on some days.  Then I get windows too.  But I was crossed over too low and not stable to start.  Not sure how to fix that.

 

How did you find a Benzo wise doctor?  I've looked all over and can't find one so far.  My pdoc doesn't know how to help me.  Been in practice 35 years and never had a patient have this hard of a time getting off such a small dose of Benzo. 

Seeing a specialist tomorrow, but haven't high hopes for I think he is pretty old school and uses detox.  But I'm hoping not.

 

You haven't had any problems with your long holds?  I'm at 6 weeks and starting to worry about tolerance.  Can you share why you held so long and how it turned out for you before cutting again.  Are you in withdrawl when you cut?

Thanks for your answers.

 

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie, I have a history of bad reactions to psych meds and was having serious problems with my taper so my pdoc did genetic testing through a lab he uses. Results confirmed my problems with the psych meds and showed I was an ultrarapid metabolizer of Valium  (CYP450-2C19) that's why I dose 4xs a day

 

The battery on both my tablet and phone are dying..   I'll respond more fully to your questions tomorrow, promise... till then hang in there, it will get better.

 

Till tomorrow, Left 

 

Hi Sharkie, hope today is a little better for you. No you weren't given enough time to stabilize on the valium. Then you cut a large amount of V within a month...no wonder you feel so poorly. You could try to hold until you feel better, or, if the sxs are unbearable, maybe try  both an updose and a hold until stabilized. The interdose might be a result of not having enough valium  built up in your system and your body trying to adjust to the crossover from the ativan to the valium.

 

I got the same song and dance from my former pdoc. They know how to prescribe this junk but have no clue how to safely taper you off. I looked up the top pdocs in my area and started calling allmof them, asking lots of questions before going in for a consultation. I believe there is a list of Benzo wise doctors somewhere here on the forum....I just don't know exactly where it is. You could also start a thread asking if anyone knows of a benzo wise doctor in your area. Yeah, detox is not the way to go off this drug.

 

I did the long hold because I was completely nonfunctional, both mentally and physically...I was a mess and at my breaking point. Something had to change. Cutting was making me worse...so I held for 6 months. It took at least 4 months before I started feeling better, then my worst sxs started to slowly improve. They haven't gone  away completely, but they have lessened in intensity for the most part.

 

Hope this helps you Sharkie...I know you're in a bad place right now, but it does get better...it gets better...

 

Sorry it took me so long to respond...my brain doesn't work to well these days   

Left 

 

Thanks left behind for your reply.  Do you recall the name of the genetic test?

Also, when you were in that completely bad place and held for 6 months, did that just come on from a single cut or multiple cuts adding up until you were at the point where you held.  I'm trying to figure out if people keep cutting when not stable.

 

Thanks much for your encouragment.  Every day, I want to updose, but I fear I may have held too long and it won't do any good.  I can't believe how long it is taking symptoms to resolve.  Kind of feel stuck.  Worry about holding so long and worry about updosing and having harder time getting back down after this long of a hold.

 

Sharkie

Hi Sharkie, I had the Genocept Assay done by a lab called Genomind.

 

My bad place resulted from a number of things: a CT, reinstatement with no time to stabilize, followed by a too aggressive taper plan devised by my former doctor. I switched doctors, but the second doctor wouldn't give me control over the taper either and dismissed my symptoms. Within a year the CT, botched reinstatement, and too fast taper had taken its toll on my body and mind. I was toast so to speak.

 

Stable is a relative word in benzo withdrawal. It doesn't necessarily mean without symptoms. For example, I experience many withdrawal symptoms, but now they are manageable. If they intensify beyond a certain point or if more severe symptoms pop up I know I'm pushing myself too much and I slow down. Long story short, stable is subjective.

 

I understand the frustration about the long hold...second guessing your decision, wondering whether you should updose, hold longer, or start cutting, feeling stuck. The same thoughts ran through my mind constantly when I was in your situation. Personally for me, the hold was a huge blessing. I'm doing things I haven't been able to do in over two years 

 

I understand your concerns anout updosing. Some people updose, get relief from their worst symptoms and are able to continue tapering with fewer problems. For others it doesn't work. The key to getting off this vile pill is determining what method works best for you...and often that takes time and trial and error on your part to figure out.

 

Have faith that it will work out...trust yourself

 

Left 

 

Thank you Left Behind.  I appreciate your answers.

 

A couple more questions.  As a rapid metabolizer, do you get interdose withdrawl or were you before 4 doses?  Do you notice your cuts right away? 

 

I looked up the genetic testing website and poked around.  They had a sample report and it did not have any of the benzos on it.  Did you find out by them specifically testing for Valium or was it through the CYP450 portion of the test?  I wonder if there is more than one test which is why I ask?

 

So before your long hold, were your symptoms debilitating? Did it take the 4 months to notice the improvement or was the improvement gradual?

 

Thanks, I really appreciate your continued help and support as I navigate through my own bad stuff.

[[Ja...]]

Hi all

When I was at 1.5 mg Valium I was stable

I cut .25 per month and was good until last week

Now slammed

I heard this has happened to others

What are my chances of stabilizing

My sxs this week I have to say have been incredibly intense

I suddenly cannot function

 

Terror burning pain in chest and inner restlessness night sweats

Literally it seemed from one week to the next

Holding

Anyone take neurontin

Is that a preferable route to updosing

At this point I don't think updose will help but I am literally in agony in chest /terror

[[Le...]]

Our first date was actually after flirting for nine long months on the phone (I don't even know why, it wasn't a long distance thing, I guess we were just shy lol) so it was effectively the start of our relationship! Crazy to think it was 20 yrs ago already! And we were actually friends since we were eight years old, so we've more or less spent our whole lives together. I don't really think of that often but when I do, it kind of blows my mind.

 

I had a really good day today. My anxiety is still high and I feel a little off kilter... I don't want to call it dizzy, but just off, you know? But I decided that as of today, I'm not going to talk about health-related stuff anymore (health anxiety was my reason for taking benzos to begin with). My partner has pointed out many times that that's all I ever talk about and that we never have normal conversations anymore. It finally hit me how bad that really is, not just relationship wise, but for me mentally.

 

I did not say a single thing about health stuff today and I had an amazing day. I worked on a craft project that I haven't touched in a couple of years and we watched Halloween movies. The anxiety was still there and I was still feeling funky in general, but since I didn't verbalize it, we were able to talk about FUN things and HAPPY things. It was honestly kind of amazing.

 

I made a thread about this on the anxiety board in case anyone else would be inspired to try the same thing. Cutting back simply wasn't working so I decided to go cold turkey with the health talk! It will be interesting to see what effect this actually has on me. I suspect it will be major. All I ever do is complain or worry out loud!

 

And it's not about being positive in a fake way. Just about not verbalizing all the worry. Because it truly never makes me feel any better to do so anyway. I always think I'm getting it off my chest but really I'm just burning it into my brain even deeper. No more.

 

Here's hoping tomorrow and Monday (my bday!) will be just as good. It's time to take better care of myself and this is how I'm going to begin doing so.

SandP, what a beautiful story of how you and your partner came to be together.   Worrying has not served me well. I like your idea and attitude of retraining your brain to stop focusing on anxiety and worry. I'll stop by your thread soon. And Happy Birthday to you!

 

Left 

[[Le...]]

Thank you Ed and Builder -

 

Stay tuned.........more "never a dumb question" (s) -  headed your way....... of this small fact, I am sure!

Still no such thing as a dumb question here... although I think I almost drove Builder  in the beginning with my never-ending, insanely OCD taper questions