Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[Le...]]

Hi Kasey:

Thanks for response. I was on 1 mg of Klonopin for 20 yrs-since 19 yrs of age!!! I had no idea 1 mg of K was equal to 20 mg of valium. I was shocked! I began tapering last fall and once I hit to .25 my hands and feet were so bad I had dr cross me over to Valium--10mg which I've been cutting and holding for a few months. I'm now at 6.5 but s/x in hands are so bad every time I try and go any lower! I am sure I must have RA or something. And the blood rushing feeling--UGH! Awful. I had a glass of wine last night and that helped but I know that's a no no b/c alcohol works on same receptors so I am hoping this is just a Central Nervous System thing but it's just sooooo bad. And while my feet have improved, it's almost worse in arms/hands---other that I have night time headaches and vision issues---but my insomnia (which is why I started taking this crap all those years ago) is okay. But what to do about these stiff/swollen feeling hands? Have you found anything helps?Is yours bad at night too? Thanks for responding. I really appreciate it!!!

Bluepill, you're certainly having a rough time of it...so sorry you are going through this.  When I was tapering too quickly I would wake up in the morning and my fingers would be in the shape of claws...they were stiff, swollen and hurt so badly I could barely move them.  I too thought I had RA...or something worse. I had a full rheumataligical workup...nothing wrong...no RA. It was withdrawal. I think for some of us Ashton's tapering protocol is too fast. If I tapered 10% a month I'd be in a terrible place. I'm tapering at about 5% a month, it is difficult but doable. My best guess is you may be tapering too fast. Think about holding for a bit too see if your sxs improve.. or slow down your taper.

 

I'm just thinking out loud here and offering suggestions. Hoping you feel better soon.

 

Left xxx

[[Le...]]

I am SO dizzy and woozy. feel like I am rocking when sitting still....been told by neurologist its MAV  (migraine associated vertigo)  Was just wondering if any of you have had this be your #1 complaint.  I see on the dizziness thread these ppl are all off the drugs and suffering

 

 

I also am being told that I have Lyme....I have herniated discs in neck too

 

I held for 5 months and there was NO CHANGE at all so resumed tapering (C&H)

 

so since last Dec. when I c/o to V  I took a cut right then, was on 1.25mgs lorazepam and only c/o to 8.5mgs V

 

since then I am now at 4.5mgs and I am still as woozy and dizzy as ever...

 

I am seeing an infectious disease specialist Monday...because I also have had low grade fevers and swollem lymph nodes on and off

 

so I go back and forth wondering if this could be benzos or not.

Dr says "NO"

Naturopath says "NO"

Neurologist says "NO"

 

but I still wonder

 

at this point I would go on any amount of benzos if it would stop this dizziness...I am so bad that I fell on sunday and broke base of my thumb!!!  Thank God I probably will not need surgery but have it splinted

 

Its hard for me to drive or walk anymore

 

just seems to severe to be only benzos

[[fr...]]

  Thank you Kasey, I wish I could offer some hope or help to you Bluepill.  I pray the updose will help but I am feeling worse right now.  Just don't know and neither do the Drs.  On my knees in my mind also, I can't get on my knees in life, they are too bad.  I'm hoping someone can come up with something soon to help us to live at least in some less torment, this is inhuman.  Bless you all.

[[Le...]]

  Thank you Kasey, I wish I could offer some hope or help to you Bluepill.  I pray the updose will help but I am feeling worse right now.  Just don't know and neither do the Drs.  On my knees in my mind also, I can't get on my knees in life, they are too bad.  I'm hoping someone can come up with something soon to help us to live at least in some less torment, this is inhuman.  Bless you all.

My heart goes out to you Free. I wish you werent suffering so, I know what a struggle this has been for you. You remain in my prayers always

 

Left

[[so...]]

Oh Lainey. My heart goes out to you. I have had vertigo issues pre-benzo and I'm having it now again, but barely any actual dizziness. Just short spin attacks. I actually prefer it this way because I can still live and work. The dizziness was actually wiped out by a particularly bad attack about five years ago. My balance system was essentially reset by it and I couldn't even walk for three months but I'm happy to be free of the dizziness. Unexpected happy side effect, I guess.

 

My doctor thinks it's either blood pressure related or MAV. I haven't actually had any of those attacks since starting BP meds. The ones I'm having now do seem to be benzo related. Have you seen an ENT for an evaluation? It will be hard to tell what's benzo related and what's not until you're off of them. I hate that about this. It makes every single condition that much more confusing.

 

I don't think I provided any valuable information there, but I'm sending hope and strength. Vertigo is the worst thing in the world if you ask me. It makes life unpredictable and scary. Can't even see what's in front of you. But definitely get a full evaluation while it's happening. I didn't because I didn't have insurance then. If it happens again, I will.

[[sh...]]

Anyone tried accupuncture during their V/D taper?  If so did it help?  I'm considering.

 

[[Ja...]]

An acupuncturist medical doctor is the asshole who prescribed this to me

God

It can help but don't do any detox points only calming is what I hesrd

[[ed...]]

Anyone tried accupuncture during their V/D taper?  If so did it help?  I'm considering.

 

I used it while on a long vacation in Florida. There was a Chinese woman there who had won all sorts of local awards. She was experienced in treating anxiety from tapers and was effective in alleviating that symptom for me.  I wish I had access to her here at home.

[[fi...]]

RE: Accupuncture

 

I've tried Acupuncture and at first I really thought it was helping - bizarre sense of calm when I left - but that soon faded so I wonder if its a placebo effect - No clue - I think there is sound science behind mindfulness meditation though and that's my next venture - I've been dabbling in it for the last year and 1/2 but I want to get more serious about it......Accupuncture certainly doesn't HURT - I'm just not sure if it HELPS and its not cheap........I will probably keep doing it but I'm just not positive it does a WHOLE lot of good.......

 

Thats my experience though - some people SWEAR by it.......

[[la...]]

Solace...yes seen 2 ENT's  have had so many tests done....not any real extensive with ENT's though.

 

 

Thank you for the kind words....I know we all have to just get through each best we can

 

"If God be for us who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

[[Jo...]]

I am SO dizzy and woozy. feel like I am rocking when sitting still....been told by neurologist its MAV  (migraine associated vertigo)  Was just wondering if any of you have had this be your #1 complaint.  I see on the dizziness thread these ppl are all off the drugs and suffering

 

 

I also am being told that I have Lyme....I have herniated discs in neck too

 

I held for 5 months and there was NO CHANGE at all so resumed tapering (C&H)

 

so since last Dec. when I c/o to V  I took a cut right then, was on 1.25mgs lorazepam and only c/o to 8.5mgs V

 

since then I am now at 4.5mgs and I am still as woozy and dizzy as ever...

 

I am seeing an infectious disease specialist Monday...because I also have had low grade fevers and swollem lymph nodes on and off

 

so I go back and forth wondering if this could be benzos or not.

Dr says "NO"

Naturopath says "NO"

Neurologist says "NO"

 

but I still wonder

 

at this point I would go on any amount of benzos if it would stop this dizziness...I am so bad that I fell on sunday and broke base of my thumb!!!  Thank God I probably will not need surgery but have it splinted

 

Its hard for me to drive or walk anymore

 

just seems to severe to be only benzos

 

The dizziness I associate with AD withdrawal.  Your signature says you used zoloft until The end of May, for 20 years.  We are at the end of October.  5 months.  I have withdrawn from ADs before and the dizziness/vertigo came and went for months.  It is a very distinctive experience to me and I haven't noticed it with Benzo Tapering to the same extent. 

 

Right now, this minute, I am having some dizziness related to my Paxil removal (I switched from Effexor to Paxil in the spring to facilitate easier withdrawal from the AD - the ADs were doing nothing to reduce my anxiety/panic - in fact I think they were ramping it up).  I have been taking P every three days (5mg) after tapering sort of by accident - As I dropped the Clon. my anxiety got worse every time I took an AD so the sensible thing was to get rid of the ADs.  I am now on day 4 since my last P so I sort of expected the dizizness today.  I am trying to stretch it as long as I bear it.  Best to avoid moving too fast and standing near the edge if a cliff.

 

This all of course leaves me withdrawing from two things at a time.  Of the two, the AD is vastly easier to stop since I dont get insomnia.  Of course the upshot, if it matters, is that I have no idea which drug withdrawal is causing the problem.  In a few weeks the Paxil will be gone and only the valium will be left, so it should become clearer then. 

 

 

[[fi...]]

I had horrific Vertigo from Benzo withdrawal after my last taper - horrific........I think its par for the course for many - I also have what seems to be arthritis in my fingers and ONE toe - this got better when I reinstated and is back now in full force - my vertigo for the most part is gone.........but I certainly don't recommend reinstated - I was sort of accidentally.........Hope this at least helps - I guess we always need to check out our symptoms w Dr's but I always find comfort in know that bizarre symptoms like these are experienced by others going through withdrawal

 

Somewhere is a very long list of symptoms that are attributed to withdrawal - Its an Ashton list and sometimes if i have something knew - I google it - if its on the list, it gives me comfort

 

Hope this helps!

[[bl...]]

Thanks Free and Left!

I had all the work ups last year too and nothing showed up on MRI's or blood--slightly elevated ANA but dr said not enough to justify concern. My psychopharmacologist actually DOES say that these symptoms can be from benzo withdrawal. It helps to have him say so, but I just wonder how long I have to hold until my hands feel normal again and the blurry vision stops? I mean, 4 months is a long hold--no? And the physical symptoms are just so real it's almost impossible to believe it's from drugs. The s/x not AS bad on valium as they were tapering off the klonopin--so, glad to be done with that evil drug, but this is no easy dragon to slay either--especially since I can't even hold the stupid sword without my hand hurting. Sorry for dumb metaphor. Exhausted. Thanks again for support. It does help!

[[fr...]]

  Blue I am right there with you.  My feet are on fire today, truly can't take it.  I didn't have this on Ativan but I wasn't tapering that.  I am sorry I crossed over, I find I have much more side effects from the Valium but who knows, I might have had it with the ATivan also.  its all poison.  Hope yours lets up, I don't know how much more I can stand. 

[[bl...]]

Hang in there. My foot pain went away and it was really bad for about 5 months. I find the hands and arm pain oddly more disturbing--but that may just be b/c it's what I'm experiencing now. I think valium is supposed to be a bit easier to get off than klonopin but who knows? I took Ativan many years ago and I remember--being about 21--thinking I had MS for sure. I was dragging my legs around and they were weak and burning. My then boyfriend, now husband, told me to take an Ativan and see if the symptoms went away. They did! I never made the connection b/c I always just took the drug before sleep. So, that's how I figured out Ativan was toxic for me. Rather than getting off it all I went on Klonopin and it all was better until, fast forward, it stopped working. So, off that and now suffering with getting off Valium. No short cuts I guess. Feel better. I found coconut butter--not oil, helped with my feet a bit.

[[fr...]]

  Good to know, I will have to google to see what coconut butter is.  Thanks and hope you feel better also. 

[[Le...]]

Bluepill, I have lots of sxs...some of them come and go, others are persistent and stick to me like glue. That is the nature of my taper.

 

I had to hold 6 months before I got relief from the worst of my sxs. Have you posted on the Long Hold Support Group? They may be able to help you decide whether to hold longer or not. The decision when to continue tapering is up to you....We will support you in whatever way we can.

 

Left

[[bl...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

[[so...]]

This is genuinely interesting to hear that the weak legs type of feeling might be a part of WD... I've had issues with numbness in my feet over the years which I assumed had to do with being so overweight... I've kept 30 pounds off for several years now and I just lost another five, but it seems to be getting worse as I get further into my 30s. But it has been worse specifically during my benzo use and tapers, so perhaps there's hope for even that. Some days, working at my standing desk, I feel like I'm going to fall right through the floor. I feel steadier on my feet than sitting though, at least during WDs (I tend to rock when I'm sitting, it's so annoying), so switching back to a regular desk doesn't sound too appealing right now. Sigh. It's always something, isn't it?

 

On a happy note, even though we weren't able to go out for our anniversary on Wednesday, we celebrated at home, exchanging gifts, ordering in takeout from our favorite local restaurant, and watching episodes of our favorite old shows that had an anniversary theme. I usually beat myself up over these types of things (anniversaries and Valentine's Day) if anxiety or whatever it may be holds me back from doing what I really wanted to do, but I didn't let that bother me yesterday and I just really enjoyed the day. It wasn't what I had in mind for our 20th, but it was quite magical regardless! Heck, I'm just glad we're surviving as a couple. It's been a rough few years for us with all the health problems between the both of us. But we seem to be getting stronger rather than the reverse, so that is good!

 

I'm so frustrated with work right now. I'm having pain everywhere, zaps in my temples/jaw area, not quite dizziness but unsteadiness, and light sensitivity that makes it really difficult to look at the screen. My superiors are now new hires, and considering the fact that I've been working for this company for five years, I'm beyond annoyed with their "supervision." They explain assignments to me like I'm a newbie. They sent me an assignment on my anniversary even though I wasn't on the schedule for that day so I had to ask them to reassign it. Today, they sent me an email saying that I hadn't confirmed today's assignment and that they'd have to reassign it. Then they realized that it was all a mistake and I of course had confirmed it. I mean, come on, I have been doing this for a really long time now. I don't make mistakes. I even revise others' poor work. COME ON. lol. I feel like the universe is testing my patience right now.

 

But I'm hanging in there. I also took some time to meditate last night, which if you recall has been a go-to for me since age 12, but for whatever reason, I don't think I've done it even once in the past couple of months. I'm wondering if that's part of why I've been so mentally unstable. I really felt better after I did it last night. I can't believe I could completely forget about it for that long. Hopefully I can get some better vibes going if I stick with it. The 24/7 worry cycle needs to stop and that's probably the best way to go about it.

 

Well, just wanted to write a quick update, but you know me, they always end up being long. Hope everyone is having a decent Thursday and that your symptoms are giving you a break today. That's not the case for me, but I'm gonna push through regardless! What else can I do?

[[bl...]]

Solace:

Weak legs def a symptom. Sometimes the back of my knees hurt like I ran a marathon or something. I think that's a pretty classic symptom? I feel the weakness in my hands too--like I'm going to drop cups, etc...Very odd. I had this when I was very young on the Ativan so not an age thing--I don't think.

[[Le...]]

Thanks, Left.

It looks like you are tapering monthly or am I misreading? I have not checked out the long hold thread. I'll check it out. Thanks. I'm worried my dr. will stop prescribing so somewhere I feel an urgency to get it done but with work and kids, etc...I just can't take the s/x and function. Are you just tapering of the valium now?

I started cutting every 2 weeks only recently. It's not in my signature...but I held at 15mg from October/November  2015 to April or May 2016. I tried a daily liquid micro taper over the summer..it didn't work for me...then I held for another 90 days...now I'm back to cut and hold...my body seems to prefer it for now anyway.

 

As far as the doctor goes...find a new one. It took me a while to find the doctor I'm working with now. But, he's benzo wise, is willing to work with me and my difficult taper, and he actually cares!

 

I'm trying to slowly taper Dexilant (a PPI) also. I'm on some seizure meds but won't taper them until I m off the V.

[[bl...]]

I'm impressed. You are doing great. Good to know you held for so long. Every time I go under 6.5 I fall apart. Maybe I'll wait here a bit longer and check out that thread. Thank you!

[[Le...]]

Thanks bluepill, appreciate the encouragement! It's been a long road with lots of ups and downs. I've been tapering ((cough)) since September 2014. I try not to compare my progress to others. I'm at risk for protracted withdrawal because of my history. I want to do everything in my power to avoid that outcome. So...it's a turtle taper for me. The folks over at the Long Hold Support Group are good people. But do what's right for you..always.

[[bl...]]

I'm 20 yrs plus with the benzos too so I hear you. Hard to imagine having CNS manipulated with all those pills for so many years. No wonder we are struggling Hang in there. I'm with you on slow taper. I'm not rushing. Thanks again.

[[Le...]]

This is genuinely interesting to hear that the weak legs type of feeling might be a part of WD... I've had issues with numbness in my feet over the years which I assumed had to do with being so overweight... I've kept 30 pounds off for several years now and I just lost another five, but it seems to be getting worse as I get further into my 30s. But it has been worse specifically during my benzo use and tapers, so perhaps there's hope for even that. Some days, working at my standing desk, I feel like I'm going to fall right through the floor. I feel steadier on my feet than sitting though, at least during WDs (I tend to rock when I'm sitting, it's so annoying), so switching back to a regular desk doesn't sound too appealing right now. Sigh. It's always something, isn't it?

 

On a happy note, even though we weren't able to go out for our anniversary on Wednesday, we celebrated at home, exchanging gifts, ordering in takeout from our favorite local restaurant, and watching episodes of our favorite old shows that had an anniversary theme. I usually beat myself up over these types of things (anniversaries and Valentine's Day) if anxiety or whatever it may be holds me back from doing what I really wanted to do, but I didn't let that bother me yesterday and I just really enjoyed the day. It wasn't what I had in mind for our 20th, but it was quite magical regardless! Heck, I'm just glad we're surviving as a couple. It's been a rough few years for us with all the health problems between the both of us. But we seem to be getting stronger rather than the reverse, so that is good!

 

I'm so frustrated with work right now. I'm having pain everywhere, zaps in my temples/jaw area, not quite dizziness but unsteadiness, and light sensitivity that makes it really difficult to look at the screen. My superiors are now new hires, and considering the fact that I've been working for this company for five years, I'm beyond annoyed with their "supervision." They explain assignments to me like I'm a newbie. They sent me an assignment on my anniversary even though I wasn't on the schedule for that day so I had to ask them to reassign it. Today, they sent me an email saying that I hadn't confirmed today's assignment and that they'd have to reassign it. Then they realized that it was all a mistake and I of course had confirmed it. I mean, come on, I have been doing this for a really long time now. I don't make mistakes. I even revise others' poor work. COME ON. lol. I feel like the universe is testing my patience right now.

 

But I'm hanging in there. I also took some time to meditate last night, which if you recall has been a go-to for me since age 12, but for whatever reason, I don't think I've done it even once in the past couple of months. I'm wondering if that's part of why I've been so mentally unstable. I really felt better after I did it last night. I can't believe I could completely forget about it for that long. Hopefully I can get some better vibes going if I stick with it. The 24/7 worry cycle needs to stop and that's probably the best way to go about it.

 

Well, just wanted to write a quick update, but you know me, they always end up being long. Hope everyone is having a decent Thursday and that your symptoms are giving you a break today. That's not the case for me, but I'm gonna push through regardless! What else can I do?

SandP, I've had all kinds of neuropathy, numbness, tingling, and weakness in my legs for years, along with terrible back pain. I always thought it was from an emergency back surgery in 2008. Nope...it's the benzos for sure. Once I stabilized, and as I go lower everything gets better. I still have bad days and waves...this morning I literally felt like I was going to collapse in a heap on the floor but it didn't happen and I feel better now.

 

I'm glad you were able to enjoy and celebrate your 20th wedding anniversary with your husband. Congratulations  That you are growing closer as a couple despite all that you are going through is a testament to your commitment to each other.

 

I admire the fact that you can still work while going through this.

 

I feel so much better when I meditate regularly too for some reason I can't always fit it into my busy *benzo withdrawal schedule* I spend what seems like hours getting a whole lot of nothing done...and then feel exhausted...like I worked a full day

 

You're doing a great SandP !!!!

 

Left