Valium/Diazepam Support Group

[[Ke...]]

Sorry DDJohn.... It isn't like me to be so high and mighty... I know you meant well.

I have been doing a fast taper and can tell you that it hasn't been easy. I truly think that a slow taper is the way to go but something inside of me can't do that. I just keep pushing and pushing and pay for it almost every day.

I wish everybody well and hope that we are all successful in our journey.

Again... I am sorry for sounding mean.. I was angry at the drug not you.

 

K

[[...]]

Hi Guys and Girls, I'm Hubby from DVD and she is really having a rough time!! WD sx that run the entire list. She has been on hold since Mar 25, but can't seem to stabilize??? Don't know if she should continue to hold, start a daily reduction or go up in the dosage Her sxs are bad panic attacks, internal tremors, pain in the neck that moves up into her head as a pressure, flushing, legs that feel like pudding, extrem tremors in arms and legs and ect!!!

 

When she was on 5 or 6mg V, she seemed to have 3 or 4 good days and then one or two couch days. Now it is 3 or 4 couch days and 1 good day??? She is becoming very Depressed, which makes this even harder!!! But she is determined to beat this poison!!

 

Any suggestions would be welcome!!! 

[[mr...]]

Hi Guys and Girls, I'm Hubby from DVD and she is really having a rough time!! WD sx that run the entire list. She has been on hold since Mar 25, but can't seem to stabilize??? Don't know if she should continue to hold, start a daily reduction or go up in the dosage Her sxs are bad panic attacks, internal tremors, pain in the neck that moves up into her head as a pressure, flushing, legs that feel like pudding, extrem tremors in arms and legs and ect!!!

 

When she was on 5 or 6mg V, she seemed to have 3 or 4 good days and then one or two couch days. Now it is 3 or 4 couch days and 1 good day??? She is becoming very Depressed, which makes this even harder!!! But she is determined to beat this poison!!

 

Any suggestions would be welcome!!! 

Hi DVD hubby.

Her sx's sound exactly like what my mom went thru once she jumped off of ativan after a 3 month taper.

Those are definitely acute type sx's.

That is a hard decision whether to hold or updose.

If she updoses, she could get relief that might allow her to restart the downward taper, but holding doesn't sound like anything has gotten better.

I had to updose my mom due to tapering her too fast and she did stablize, thank God.

[[Ki...]]

Just my opinion but inositol ROCKS. There are a few threads under the natural supplements area- its helped me keep on working! And it seems all it does is help straighten out unstraight things- no direct action itself- thats what sold me. Me ❤️ Inositol

 

Kitty, how much inositol are you taking?

I have only taken a little in the daytime now and then because anxiety is not a problem for me now. Mine is / was insomnia and "moodiness". On days I need it I usually only take 1-2 mg in the daytime. At night I usually take 8-10 g. I mix it in a glass of water, drink half of it at bedtime then when I wake up during the night finish it off then. Im a wuss, I read other people take up to 16 g. It will give you grumbly belly and or runny poos for a while which is why they say start slow. But for almost everyone that goes away- and I had colitis, I was really worried about it at first but its fine now. Its supposed to be great for your liver so Im hoping my next lab test shows a little pep from it too.

[[mr...]]

Just my opinion but inositol ROCKS. There are a few threads under the natural supplements area- its helped me keep on working! And it seems all it does is help straighten out unstraight things- no direct action itself- thats what sold me. Me ❤️ Inositol

 

Kitty, how much inositol are you taking?

I have only taken a little in the daytime now and then because anxiety is not a problem for me now. Mine is / was insomnia and "moodiness". On days I need it I usually only take 1-2 mg in the daytime. At night I usually take 8-10 g. I mix it in a glass of water, drink half of it at bedtime then when I wake up during the night finish it off then. Im a wuss, I read other people take up to 16 g. It will give you grumbly belly and or runny poos for a while which is why they say start slow. But for almost everyone that goes away- and I had colitis, I was really worried about it at first but its fine now. Its supposed to be great for your liver so Im hoping my next lab test shows a little pep from it too.

That's a bit high dose for my mom since she wouldn't like the taste in liquid and she hates taking pills.

I'm glad it is working for you.

[[Sh...]]

I didn't really get much out of Inositol. It made my stomach churn and rumble but didn't help me unfortunately. I tried 5HTP which helped greatly for a few days but then kept me wide awake all hours. Interesting stuff though.

[[...]]

Hello Mrtmeo, thanks for the response, and I have a question. You said you had your Mother up dose: how much was the up dose, and how low was she at that time??

 

Thanks Hubby

[[Su...]]

been 3 days of really sick even though I've been holding.  Felt like I don't want to live anymore.  Down.  I'm confused Ashton suggests you take 2 doses I always spread mine over 3.  So I changed it maybe that change has backfired.  Really don't know but I've been holding long.  Actually feeling worse.  Maybe I'm not taking enough.  I don't know the answers.  Now I don't seem to be able to force myself to eat.  Of course exhausted wheepy.  Despondent.

I did get the flu  that didn't help.  Still coming out of that.  This is not flu this is withdrawls.  I'm exhausted. Bathroom and back.  Oh gee I can't believe this.  Money short can't work.  It's been over 7yrs trying to make it. Savings are gone.  No I'm not feeling positive at all. Not even bothering with TV, concentration not good either.  To sick to see my daughter mother's day.  The comment hurt when she said this has been going on for years.  Must be hard to watch your mother go to sick down and useless.  Oh I've done the faking stuff.  Can't fake this right now.  My doctor gives no input.  How much can the body and mind take.  I'm open to any input.

[[Kg...]]

Surviving Benzo Taper: Please do not get discouraged. You are just having a very bad time right now. It will get better. 

 

For some of us long holds do not work. I am one of them. I got worse the longer I held and so I just started to cut again and after I cut I felt better. Clona 21 explains it on the boards why for some of us our bodies need a cutting rhythm and then we do better vs stopping all together.  It has to do with our particular body chemistry. For others clearly holding works and works well. 

 

I thought like you that I would never be able to get off of the benzos and could not take one more day.  A few buddies here told me that this was the drug talking not me - it is part of the withdrawal process, the depression, the feeling awful day after day and seemingly year after year.  There have been many events in my life that should have been totally joyful that I have had to struggle through and I realized that I should be mad at my doctor who left me on these drugs for too long, the drug industry that has these drugs being used for long term and people who think things can be cured with a 'pill'.  The person you should not be angry with is yourself - you did nothing other than take a medication that was prescribed for you and had a normal reaction to it of physical dependence. Have your daughter read Matt Semat's book about benzo withdrawal - he is a rock climber and had to taper benzos and wrote about his horrible journey.    Here is the link:

 

https://www.amazon.com/Death-Grip-Climbers-Escape-Madness-ebook/dp/B008SB59MW?ie=UTF8&btkr=1&ref_=dp 

 

You can probably also get it from the library.

 

What has worked for me:  Getting up and getting dressed and out of bed on most days and on the days I just can't I recognize that my body needs a 'raft day' and I just give in to it . But I don't do this every day.

 

I do deep breathing each day - usually the 4, 7, 8 breathing (google it ) at least twice a day.  I listen to Bliss John's you tubes about benzo withdrawal to remember that others have done what I am doing and been fine.

 

I also try to exercise every day - a yoga tape, a walk around the block - anything to get me moving.  Yoga is my go to when I can't leave the house. I just found a few you tube ones that I like and do them.

 

I talk to my buddies here on benzo buddies - they get it and I don't have to explain myself to them.    You are not alone - we are all here. You are just having one of those days, or months but it will get better for you. Take it one minute at a time if you have to and yep ignore your daughter - we have raised a very self centered generation - my kids also do not get it except my one son who also has anxiety. 

 

Look at me - I am at just about 1 mg of Valium now and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yesterday I could barely leave the house due to nausea,  today I drove 1 1/2 hours, was out and about, exercised and going out for dinner.  Do I feel great  today NO  I don't but I do it anyway because I still feel the same if I sit home on the couch and today I am not in barf mode needing the b/room right by me - just the usual awful. 

[[la...]]

Survivng benzo; will just say that I am trying a long hold because other methods have not helped and I have changed things so much I feel (as others do ) that my brain needs a time to reset and find homeostasis.

 

I know exactly how you feel. I am right there with you

 

changing from 3xs a day to 2 is like a cut so just let that be a guide for future changes.

 

there are 2 threads on withdrawal site about long holds...you may just want to read some of the info that they have on there.

 

You are welcome to PM me at anytime....you are not alone believe me

[[ed...]]

 

 

For some of us long holds do not work. I am one of them. I got worse the longer I held and so I just started to cut again and after I cut I felt better. Clona 21 explains it on the boards why for some of us our bodies need a cutting rhythm and then we do better vs stopping all together.  It has to do with our particular body chemistry. For others clearly holding works and works well. 

 

 

 

Hi Kgirl!  I'm another person for whom holds don't work.  I've been scouring Clona21's posts for the information you've mentioned in your post. Any chance you might have a link?

 

Thank you!

 

Best,

Ed

[[Sh...]]

As I'm getting down lower in this taper, I'm finding that I can't stabilise the way I used to. In the beginning, and even after I cut from 5mg down to 2.5mg, I stabilised and felt 100% normal after a couple of weeks. After spending a while stuffing around with a daily taper and then coming back to cut and hold, I haven't really stabilised like I thought I would. Overall I'm still pretty fine, I'm working etc with no issues. But I've just got constant ruminating thoughts that don't let up. I'm wondering if it's because I've been tapering for close to 8 months now. And my body is just so used to the valium...? It only took a couple of months to get down to 2.5mg so maybe the valium was still doing something back then. Any thoughts or experiences?

[[Kg...]]

Edzo sorry I don't have the link it was an old post at a time when I was having a lot of problems cutting and I had tried to hold and found it made me worse.  I could not understand why I felt worse as the days went on vs. better and she explained to me it was because my body was in a rhythm of cutting.  Her explanation to me is probably somewhere on the KK support group.  Clona doesn't come to BB much anymore she has been K free since this summer and is doing great. She does have a progress log and I think but I am not sure that she will still answer PM's. 

 

I guess I don't think it matters what the explanation actually is - I think we all just need to learn what works for our own bodies, listen to it vs. any other advice and go from there. As I said for some people long holds work great - in some ways I wish I had been one of them, it would have made this taper easier if I could have done it symptom free. I had no such luck - I held for months  one time due to wanting to feel good for my daughter's wedding - instead of feeling better, or even stable, I felt worse as the weeks went on and it was not until after the wedding that I felt I could then cut again since I was afraid of getting into a worse place.  Well when I finally was able to cut I felt better and that has pretty much been the case whenever I have held - I get worse as the days go on, cut and feel better. What I have done (I micro taper) is I lower the amt I am cutting or slow down my pace of cutting if I can't get any lower on my amt (I use a gram scale).  This has made my s/x bearable on most days.

 

 

[[ed...]]

Dear Kgirl,

 

Thank you for your kind response. I do pretty much what you do. On a hold, I peak out with feeling better at about a week or so if memory serves me correctly. After that, it's back to the grind.  Congratulations on your taper so far. Almost there!

 

All the best,

Ed

[[Kg...]]

Dear Edzo: Yep it is a bear to get off of these medications. BTW I don't find Valium an easier drug to taper than the Klonopin. I wish it was.  I see you are pretty low as well - I am tapering . 5 mg a month now and figure I have about 6 more weeks until I can no longer even see my pill. Since I use the gram scale at a point it gets ridiculous to keep cutting since the pills are poppy seed size and it is probably only psychological at that point. 

 

Good luck on your taper - and yep this is truly a grind.   

[[Ke...]]

Surviving Benzo.. how are you doing today?

 

I too could not manage the long holds. I did a 2 month hold and felt a bit better but then felt it just wasn't worth it anymore so I started cutting again faster than people suggest. I am at around .5 mgs now and feeling wayyyyy better than when I started. I just keep listening to my body and cut when I think I can handle another cut. I suffer after for a few days and then I find I start getting little windows. I am not saying it's been easy.

 

I have always wondered whether long holds just give the drug a chance to get its hooks more into my system.  I find that scary... So instead of being a person that started on the drug in Jan, I would be a person still on 5.0 mgs 6 months later while trying to feel something that may never happen. It was a risk I didn't want to take.

 

K

 

 

[[Kg...]]

Keeka just wondering when you are planning on jumping. Congrats on being at .5 mg. Kgirl.

[[Ke...]]

Hey KGirl

I am playing it day by day right now but think I will try to go down to .25 mgs for a little while.

I am hoping to jump by next weekend.  I have a ton of stress in my life right now so I have to be careful.

I feel not too bad today, so I might drop tomorrow.

 

Congrats to you too. What is your plan?

 

You should join the Under 3 mg group.

 

I wonder if I should just stop now and jump from this point.... Get it over with... But then like i said, I have a ton of stress right now.

 

Thanks again k

 

[[Kg...]]

Keeka I was thinking of jumping at the .25 mg dose since at that point I will barely be able to see my cut pills.  I have a trip planned at the end of July and so I want to not be in acute when I leave so figure if I jump at the end of June I will have 3 weeks to be in the pits and hopefully crawling out by the end of July. 

 

Yep stress is a killer for tapering.  It revs me up and there is nothing I can do about it. 

[[Pi...]]

My theory of day 8 of a cut is easier is out the window. I had a good sleep actually last night, 12:30 am till 6:30 am. I decided to drink a cup of coffee. I used the restroom and about 30 minutes later my stomach started cramping. I started getting these negative thoughts in my head. My lower back started tensing up as well so I get this stupid idea I'm getting pancreatitus(sp?). My mind was playing tricks on me. I had a pretty intense panic attack. Lasted about an hour. I forced myself to eat one of those little oatmeal packets. I paced the house with negative thoughts. I read the anxiety board last night and had to tell myself this is just a panic attack and that numbness around chest and heart racing is nothing. Breathe. relax. I went ahead and got my 4 pm dose out and ready which is 3.75 mg. I told myself just wait till 2 and you can take it 2 hours early. The panic went away. I ended up going on the back deck with a leaf blower and so that helped pass a bit of time. Now it's 3:40 and I'm going to wait till 4 to stick with my dose. It was tough. I made that big cut from 20-15. Do you think that has caught up with me and if so should it pass soon?

[[fr...]]

  Yes, It sounds like that big cut might have caught up with you but good on you for holding out until 4 to take your dose and also working through the panic.  You might want to hold now and stabilize and see if you feel better.  Good luck to you.  I also cut from 20 to 15 mg. in a few cuts fairly easily but got slammed when I cut the next two tiny cuts of .685 mg each.  I have been holding now and am at the same dose you are 13.75.  This really is so hard and no rhyme or reason to it.

[[...]]

Kgirl, you're doing great too!!  Congrats in advance, you nearly there. Regards mcm

[[ar...]]

All

 

0.2mg hit me like a freight train.  I have been holding and getting better.  Once I am stable and confident I'll finish up the rest of the taper.

 

All physical symptoms.  Happy as can be mentally which helps coping with the physical symptoms.  Just mainly muscle fatigue, minor burning skin and minor headache and face pressure.

 

I am looking forward to getting my energy back soon.

 

I think I got nailed because 0.2mg is pretty much nothing and my body is reacting.

[[Ke...]]

Pitchman

Sorry to hear about your night but congrats that you didn't cave in when you could have easily taken a bunch of the drug to calm yourself.

Anxiety is my biggest problem now along with neck and back pain, heart palpitations, weakness....

This has to be the worst experience I have ever endured.

Hope you feel better now.

After all this, I realize that there is no clear pattern to any of it... Our bodies do what they want and it's horrible.

So tired of this.

K

[[Pi...]]

Thank you Keeka and freeme. I have ordered a pair of scales from Amazon that will be here tomorrow. I don't want to do the liquid and prefer to stay on dry cut because I don't want my body to go through another change. I've been splitting half of a half of a 5 mg Valium and want to be precise. I don't have access to the 2mg pills. Wish I did. Keeka, I did hold off on the Valium but you know what scares me more than anything. The feeling of a Valium last 2 hours or less now. Really don't feel it. Having a much better day today so far than yesterday. Want to get stable so I can make another small cut. Hope you guys are healing. Keep going strong.