How long I've been off is nothing compared to how long I was on benzos!

[[Te...]]

I was reading another buddy's post and they were having problems coming off after using benzos for five months.

 

That made me wonder exactly how many months I was on benzos. I'm 6.5 months off and kind of feel like I should be further along in recovery. However, when I add it all up, I was on 2-4 mg. of Xanax for 20 months and then crossed over to Valium, and was taking 20-30 mg. Valium for 169 months, for a grand total of 189 months I was eatiing benzos.

 

(OK, I did a c/t back in 2011 and was off for a little over 3 months, so make that 186 months...) With 186 months of use, I guess it helps put things in perspective as to why it's taking me so long to heal.

 

I recall a couple of years ago some self-appointed expert said it took long-term users about one month to recover for every year of use, which in my case would be about 15.5 months. Back then, that seemed like hogwash. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm hoping to be better by 10-12 months, but it just MAY end up taking me 15.5 months. Has anyone ever heard of that one month for one year of use theory? I saw it here on BB sometime back in 2011...

 

Anyway, I don't feel so bad about being at 6.5 months now!

[[In...]]

Everyone is so different I don't believe the one month theory at all. Some people were on high doses for many years and healed completely in 6 months. I took a lower dose of klonopin for 6 months, c/t and now almost 9 months later healing but very slowly. Some took for 2 weeks and hurt badly for 1-2 years. You may end up healing quicker than me as you have already had near 100% windows. I haven't had any of those. We all truly will heal in our own time. Don't spend an ounce of worry about how long you were on, as we've seen time after time on BB the length and strength of dose and recovery time are loosely linked at best.

[[Fl...]]

yeah, I've read and heard of this one month for every year on, many many times over the years.

Oh! And that you don't start counting it as "healing" till a benzo no longer crosses yer lips.

Which would mean for me 24 months of healing after tapering off which could take me

anywhere from a month, to 6 months, to a couple years according to others.

Bah to all of that. <--unless it happens. Then and only then, will I deal with it. Refuse to dread what may never happen.

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

The one month/year rule doesn't really apply for benzo withdrawal. I was on benzos a total time of less than a year and a half. By that logic, I should have been better a long time ago. I'm five months one week off, and still doing awful. My fatigue and depression is overwhelming.

[[Ga...]]

I was on for 5 months... Now in my 7 month w/d.  And I can't believe it.  I just pray that I will start to have some good days.  It is unbelievably frustrating for me..so little time, small dosage and I still am suffering and getting new symptoms.  Today is a bad day for anxiety and stomach pains.  Hard to believe I am healing or will heal or ever stop crying, or get my life back.    :'(.  Sorry, not a good day for me.  Upset about the holiday season.  I hear the doctor that gave me this poison is going on a trip to Australia with her family.  How nice.  sigh.

[[Co...]]

Cool I only have one more month of suffering left! Lol

[[Mo...]]

i read this theory as well and at the time it made sense. but in a way it does

not work, because i was on them for about 8 years and am 13 months off now and still

in a big mess.

might be different, if one does a taper than going c/t or rapid detox.

[[Co...]]

Several years ago I took valium for a month at 10 to 20 mg a day. When I ran out, I didn't get it filled and went through withdrawal for 2 months! It didn't feel like this though. I was just very out of it and confused. So maybe for me it's 2 months for every month I was on. That would be a long long time!

[[Sv...]]

I was thinking about this Tex. I think you and I are a couple of the longest time users that actively post on here. It's going to take as long as it's going to take. When I was one month off I was quite scared to think that withdrawal would last 15 months or longer, given my 15 years on K. Now that I'm almost at month 9 I'm less afraid of that. More than half way if that's the case!

 

This sure can feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Our only option are

 

1 tough it out

2 go back on benzos

 

There are so many people out there that are staying on the drugs just to avoid this withdrawal process. Let's get this over with now and be done with it!

 

 

[[Te...]]

Svenhoak,

 

It scares me when you say we're some of the long-term users who post here regularly. I'm scared because I honestly did not expect to make it to six months, and here I am at 6.5 months. I don't have any benzos. I tossed out 500+ when I went c/t, and since I got mine from overseas, it would take 3-4 weeks to get any more, so that's just not an option.

 

I really have no choice but to move on into the future. I've pretty much developed the attitude that "it will be what it will be." Honestly, I know that things are changing, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, but this sure as hell beats the 6-7 weeks I was in acute w/d and the 6-7 weeks I was on that "emotional plateau" where NOTHING ever changed! I'm in a wave now, day 9, but it seems to be easing a bit. Saturday was horrible and I used liqueur (Fireball, a blend of whiskey and cinnamon flavors) to dull the rough edges, but I didn't touch anything yesterday and nothing today.

 

I am so damn impatient, though. I just wish this would be over. I mean, c'mon, 6.5 months! My wife is being cool and she sees me doing things to try and push my boundaries, but I just want this to be over. It just goes on and on and on. Meanwhile, I think of the people I've made connections with and who've disappeared along the way. I don't think many of them recovered. Most of 'em seem to have quietly faded away and are probably prisoners of benzos again. All I can do is ask, "Why me?" I'm not special. Why have I been able to make it so far? And if I've gone 6.5 months, I know I can go 6.5 more months, and I hope I'll be much better by then.

 

For now, I just deal with today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough and I'll deal with it when it gets here. One day. One day at a time. Today is my 197th day! I get a new wall calendar for 2014 and I am going to stop counting days as of January 1, when I'll be a bit over seven months off (as of Dec. 26), and for 2014 I will focus on day-by-day but stop counting anything except months. I will be so glad when May 26, 2014 get here. One year!

 

And I will get there. One day at a time.

 

[[Sv...]]

Did you read Bliss Johns book on benzo recovery?  She paints a pretty good picture of all this. It's certainly a strain on all our relationships. Especially when our doctors largely refute the existence of benzo withdrawal!

 

One day at a time Tex. It's all any of us can do.....

[[Jo...]]

Tex,

 

You are an inspiration to me. I hope I can do as well as you. Right now it's looking pretty dark, but the fact that you got off and keep going and walk and pick up cans gives me hope enough to get out of bed.

 

Thank you,

 

Joy

[Guest [Be...]]

Forty years on and healing well at 12 months.  That theory of one month for every year on doesn't follow with benzos.

 

[[Sv...]]

Glad to hear things are going well Beth!

[[fl...]]

Tex,

 

I am now at the point of being off benzos as long as I was on them. I was on them about five months. This may sound strange but I feel the first benzo I took in the er (Xanax) threw me into a dependence. My body was in such a need to calm down from the steroid psychosis that it just sucked that benzo in like there was no tomorrow. Really, like I would not have lived another day without it. From that day I went into a wd until 5 days later when my doctor prescribed klonopin. I then would take it sporadically until I found out I was going through a daily wd. Then I stabilized on.5 for a while till I quickly tapered. You can literally take this med one time and feel a withdrawal. It is way to nasty to be handing out to anyone. There has to be something else to help people than these terrible drugs.

 

fg