Muscle Groups Shutting Off. Docs CLUELESS. HELP?

[[An...]]

Help me. Just went to doc today again. Thought the issue was a strained abdominal muscle, and am pretty sure that is part of the problem, but it's also as if those muscles spasm and bloat out as well. The other issue, that my pelvis is somehow terribly damaged, (well, not terribly enough to show up on an MRI but obviously messed up a bit) is also undiagnosable but leading to suggestions I don't like (when you were raised by a chronically nervous system fritzed out woman with a list of pain syndromes a mile long, words like "pelvic floor dysfunction" are scary enough when you're NOT in w/d). Which leads them to the "what's wrong with your nervous system, perhaps, that muscle groups keep shutting off?" question.

 

Anyone else in this boat? I'm doing PT, and hopefully it'll help. Basically, it's just the muscles shutting off in my core. Combined with pain and bloat in the muscles higher up, straight up to the ribcage. The physical therapist thinks ALL of it is due to pelvic floor muscles being out, and I'm working on that as hard as I can. THey cannot understand why I cannot walk (fast, exercise walking) or do moderate exercise, why I can't even have sex without landing in bed with ice packs for a week straight.

 

Honestly, I think if they try to throw enough weird diagnoses at me that are like my mother's I'll will myself to be well (I have before....lol....I've had interstitial cystitis on "ignore" for 2 decades). Still, I do read about weird abdominal bloat on here quite a bit. Does that go away?!!? ANY ideas?

[[fr...]]

Well, I have had severe muscle tightness in my low back and other areas for 9 months now. The only thing that can heal it is time because it's due to benzo withdrawal. Exercise, just walking, makes it worse. Sitting for long periods of time makes it worse.

 

I won't even try to address this problem until I'm through withdrawal. I see my chiropractor twice a week because the tight muscles pull my spine and joints out of alignment constantly. It really helps but it is very temporary. 

 

I really don't think that you can address it at this time as your muscles need GABA to relax. When we exercise it is a process of contraction and then relaxation. When the muscles stay in a contracted state you are not going to get anywhere. You will just get more pain and tightness if you force it.

 

Please remember that since almost no health care professional understands benzo withdrawal you are going to get all kinds of crazy diagnoses which are probably wrong.

[[In...]]

 

I really don't think that you can address it at this time as your muscles need GABA to relax. When we exercise it is a process of contraction and then relaxation. When the muscles stay in a contracted state you are not going to get anywhere. You will just get more pain and tightness if you force it.

 

Please remember that since almost no health care professional understands benzo withdrawal you are going to get all kinds of crazy diagnoses which are probably wrong.

 

Thanks frus, this is a good explanation. I'm nearing 9 months off and my calf muscles still are so tight some days after 1/2 mile of my walk they are really screaming. I have to keep going to 1 mile to make it back home on the short route and man it hurts some days! Those muscles have to just already be tight before I start and then the additional walking kills them. Other days I can go 2.5 miles no sweat, no pain at all, but those are much less often. Getting some pain rotating through lower back, sides, down toward the groin area.

 

My psoas muscle must be very tight, in fight of flight mode it tightens up and as we are in constant stress in w/d this can't help things. Here's a random quote from a random article:

 

"This muscle has become known as the ‘fight or flight muscle’ because of how it is deeply effected by emotions sometimes causing very problematic outcomes.  When the body is under stress, anxiety or trauma the psoas muscle contracts. It’s immediate reaction is to pull in, shorten, tighten, all because of the very primal and basic instinct to protect.  The more we look into body-mind connection the more understanding modern day medicine can see the relationship between storing emotional memories and physical pain."

 

http://www.hushyoga.com/blog/why-the-psoas-is-the-fight-or-flight-muscle/

[[In...]]

One more interesting article if it helps anyone. I think this contributes to some of our abdominal pains during w/d/. Instead of refusing to relax our bodies as mentioned below, our bodies and muscles no longer are capable of relaxing many times during w/d.

 

http://www.somahappy.com/2012/10/psoas-magic/

 

"Why do we have to “not do” to get the psoas to release?  Can you talk some about how it responds? 

 

Let’s see how to put it.  I think mentally we are trained that doing accomplishes things.  And the psoas is doing all the time.  These core muscles are so busy because they never really shut off.  For example, your pelvic floor never really shuts off because you’ve got to keep from peeing.  And your psoas is holding you.  If you’re upright, your psoas is working. So I talk a lot about ideal resting linked to muscles, and that your bones should hold you up.  I try not to confuse people, but in truth your bones hold you up, but your psoas never stops working.  Your psoas is acting as the thing that is holding your spine on top of your pelvis, so it never gets to shut off.  Just like your pelvic floor never gets to shut off because of going to the bathroom.

 

For me, there is this idea that the psoas gets traumatized.  And I really believe we’re all traumatized.  That’s a fine, healthy thing.  I go to cross the street, a car almost hits me, I jump.  That’s traumatizing and it’s beautiful, because I let go and I move on.  It’s the people that can’t let go and can’t move on. Those are the people who get stuck in the sympathetic nervous system, they get stuck in a place of heightened response. The simplest way to describe it is they’re walking on eggshells all the time.  They have to figure out what it means to shut their body off.  And so many people I work with, these Type A people, they can’t.  Their brain, their body is not programmed to do nothing. I say, “Do constructive rest.”  And they say, “Can I read?”  And I say, “No. For fifteen minutes I don’t want you to read.”  And they can’t handle it. So I say, “Then don’t do it. Do it when you’re ready to do it.”

 

It is literally about relaxation.  It is about taking your body that is living in a heightened state, and figuring out how to help it relax. "

[[An...]]

Wow, thanks everyone. I was completely fine until Thursday, things were starting to work OK again. My abdominals are still so strained that I can't do hardly anything, but I could sit up, stand up, drive, walk, etc. Then BAM. Apparently my pelvis just went into trauma mode. I thought the nightmare was over.

 

I've felt a lot of strain with the psoas, that's where it really started. Entire hip flexor. The problem was the spasms, I couldn't feel my body accurately anymore. My muscles, mainly. I think they're just not healing. I've talked myself a million times into thinking I was just too freaked out and not relaxed enough, and have an entire journal filled with the message, "STOP FREAKING OUT!". Then another wave hits, or any activity always something to do with the pelvis (I have a severely inflamed SI joint that was pretty bad before I ever was on a benzo, lifelong, really) and everything shuts off. Torso muscles go out really bad, bloat out so that I cannot use them to breathe or anything, and I go looking for help and never get a bit of it.

 

Just did activator adjustment (chiropractic, but the only kind I'll do right now), and it relieved some of the strain. My pelvis was twisted pretty bad and that side was 3/4 inch off again (it's equal when this isn't happening). I love the psoas article, it does help to sleep on my back! The main problem is being able to accept that I cannot walk around or ever have sex. I literally cannot use any of the muscles that control the pelvis without enormous pain or spasm, and it has led me from being about to be a trainer to being completely disabled. So, I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself? LOL

 

Thanks

[[In...]]

I'm sorry this has hit you so hard. Many Buddies here seem to struggle the most with 1 or 2 stubborn symptoms. For me it has been derealization and breathing issues. To a lesser extent muscle thightness contributing to the breathing stuff probably and trouble exercising.

 

In time everyone here seems to recover from those super stubborn symptoms. You'll be back and "active" inside and outside the house again, do your best to relax and accept for a few months that activity level could be low. Maybe sneak in some sex during a window    It took me around 6 months for the breathing stuff to settle down so hopefully yours resolves even sooner. Take care! 

[[An...]]

Thanks, Inna. Took 6 months for you? What kind of breathing issue?

 

Inna, that's one of the problems, I have complete mental windows where I feel completely like myself. Really just like normal old me. But my body still doesn't work, and sex generally lands me disabled and unable to do so much as sit up for a good week or so, and it's getting worse. I was almost completely back to normal last week, then sex on Thursday and I still haven't recovered my muscles. Maybe they're just all really pulled? It really seems more like my back and abs above the pelvis, to be honest.

 

That's the thing, see, windows don't resolve the physical symptoms. They're really happy times and all, but I'm still crippled. Does this make any sense? I see a pelvic specialist a week from today.

 

You really think in a few months it'll just go away?

[[In...]]

Breathing issues for me were struggling or unable to get a full, satisfying breath. For days or weeks at a time. Many times when this happened I could feel a "pull" in the middle of my back and knew things were about to get difficult. I believe the muscles all around my chest to the back would tighten making breathing more difficult. Now my main problem is still in the legs, especially calves.

 

If you have been checked out and the docs end up finding nothing wrong, it would not surprise me that the trouble ended up being benzo muscle tightness. I've read all kinds of odd symptoms on here that resolved over time with the only answer being benzos. I don't know with any certainty that it will go away within week or months for you, but for me and my issue it has improved greatly with time.

 

I should also add that the breathing issues would disappear for days or weeks at a time, then come right on back again. Many, many, many times it came and went.

[[An...]]

Well, what is found over and over is an inflamed sacroiliac joint. It has always caused problems, since I was a teenager. I guess the withdrawal just threw it out of whack, and I couldn't feel my muscles especially the first 2 months, so I tried to go about my normal activities and apparently just inflamed/strained my abdominals.

 

Actually, it had finally normalized last week, everything, but I went into a bad wave. That part is hormonal,  it seems. I guess I'm doomed to get mostly better and feel like it's time to just go back to normal to have it thrown out of whack once a month? Ugh, I shouldn't even post when my system is this spiked. I sound like a hypochondriac weirdo.

 

My trainer talked me into calling the chiropractor/trainer they swear by, and he had really freaked me out before (my pelvis is too sore for adjustments!). I did, and he kept telling me that I had adrenal fatigue. But I've read here (and every other single place online pretty much) that that isn't real. He wants me in on Monday, and it's just making me more anxious, the thought of going in to see him. Before he told me I was freaking out over nothing and to go back to fight training, and after one groundfighting session I haven't been able to use my lower back/abs/pelvic muscles since.

[[ra...]]

Antonius,

 

I like the answers others gave.  I will emphasize that in all probability there is absolutely nothing wrong with you except withdrawal.  My core is very much like yours, and today is an awful, awful day.  But I will let it go and do my best.  I like the post about letting go.

 

I think in general exercise is helpful as we train our bodies to do things without benzos.  I am not training today as I conserve my strength and wits for my work day, but other than that, I am a fan of controlled exercise and gently pushing ourselves.

 

Hang in there.  Time is our friend, and it keeps moving forward no matter what we do.

 

Be well and good luck,

 

Ramcon1

[[ra...]]

Oh and yes, docs do not have a clue.  Do not let them convince you that you have a disease or injury unless there are conclusive tests.  Inconclusive is a big sign that thi sis withdrawal.

 

I am lucky in that my docs respect me and when I tell them it is withdrawal they believe me.  I once went to a gastro and told her that I have the symptoms of IBS but it is actually benzo withdrawal.  She had never heard of "benzo belly," but had personally witness a woman in acute withdrawal, and described it as a scene from the exorcist, so believed that any and all things were possible from this drug.

 

Smart lady.

[[An...]]

Ramcon, I'm sorry you're going through a core experience as well and am not trying to be overly frustrated right now. It's just that I sat around getting really worked up for a MONTH before even getting to a doctor about this because I kept reading, over and over, that it's "just benzo withdrawal". Thing is, I went off of 2 mg c/t 3 years ago, and while I had all of the other symptoms I have now (and actually, a lot MORE, just not this), I did NOT become unable to move my entire pelvis and low back while straining other abdominals to the point that I had to be put in the hospital to be checked for a hernia. I did not become unable to sit up on my own for weeks on end, nor unable to sit to drive my car, nor unable to have sex. Because that's just about all that got me through last time. It's NOT withdrawal, I am injured, I just also have withdrawal. I just have such bad withdrawal that I forget some days, or get told enough weird crap by docs and freak out, what I injured in the first place.

 

Anyway, I saw a different PT today, and got a full 2 hour workup. It seems that I did strain the psoas or the iliopsoas back in September, and just strained the abs compensating for the lack of pelvic mobility while trying to jog and (sigh) other activities. I have to let the abs heal (still) while trying to strengthen the psoas, but a bit of release on it today and PT stretching allowed me to lift my own leg off of a table.

 

On a side note, I just took half of an ashwagandha capsule (recommended-though not now by me-- for stress relief) and it is revving me horribly! ARGH!! So sorry for the weird response, I was trying to help my adrenals. Glad I took half....whew.

[[An...]]

Ramcon, I'm sorry I seemed so harsh. I've never had a muscle strain before, not a serious one, and having it happen while in w/d has been a very trying experience. I didn't realize so many others were having core issues as well. Just frustrated. Well, I keep hearing about benzo belly, which I also am having loads of trouble with (and boy, is that a weird one...). I don't mean to minimize anyone else's suffering, I just can't remember to save my life from day to day that they TOLD me it'd take at least 6-8 weeks for this to heal in the first place, and that's just one of the strains, and so I get freaked out about it and, well, freak out....lol.