One of those days....

[[ci...]]

I have had flare ups and set backs but today feels so different.  I guess it started last night - felt decent when I went back to bed then my breathing started getting out of sync and negative thoughts started.  Finally drifted off at 1230, then startled awake at 2, then disturbed sleep until about 5.  First part of the morning was ok, then the breathing thing started again.  I had to lap around the house to distract from the breathing for 45 minutes.  When finally done, the breathing seemed fine but since then it has been 5-6 hours of complete

 

brain fog and pressure

hands sweating profusely

shaking

occasional heart palps

calves so tired and cramped I can't stand still

intestinal spasms

no coordination

vision blurry

 

I swear I think I also noticed a dark gray circle around my iris' that have never been there before.....

 

I know it has to be anxiety, but my heart rate and blood pressure are completely normal.  I know many of you go through this all day long, but I usually only deal with it in bursts so this feels alien.  I had pondered a reassuring trip to the urgent care but seriously what are they gonna do?  Make me feel stupid for getting worked up or tell me a benzo is my option???.  Its not my heart or anything critical.  It is this damned roller coaster.

 

I know these are minor issues so pardon the whining.

[[jo...]]

Hi

 

It sounds as if you are suffering some post taper withdrawal symptoms.

This often happens when we taper at a rate that is too fast for our personal recovery rate.

Sorry to hear you are suffering though, and may it pass as soon as possible.

[[ci...]]

It took me a year to taper and I have been off for almost 4 months lol.  Not sure I could have gone much slower!!!  Maybe it was too fast or maybe it was just keeping a lid on things or maybe I am still in the midst of withdrawal.  I don't know.

[[JC...]]

I was running a lot and recently one of my calves has spasms really badly. It was to the point that I had to take off some days of running. It is interesting that you have a similar symptom.

[[Co...]]

How about charlie horses? Is that what you meant about calf spasms JC? I get really agonizing charlie horses. Never had one before w/d.

[[...]]

I still get symptom flare ups but I can usually relate them to some specific lifestyle or dietary issue.

[[ci...]]

Mine are just that my entire calf is tired and sore.

 

Bart- the flare up probably has a few sources in this case beyond just because.

 

  One, I slept like hell last night.  Maybe four hours of disturbed sleep.  Lack of sleep always makes me worse.

 

Two, alcohol.  The past two nights I have had a half a shot of booze in a huge glass.  Barely enough to flavor but still probablynot smart on my part.

 

Three- hormones.  I have made changes to my TRT regimen and iI am sure it is wreaking havoc.

Four, life.  Stressful time adding to everything....

[[Be...]]

Im glad you reminded me of this, I'll make appointment to see my Iridologist soon, its interesting..

basically anything that happens in the body leaves a mark in your iris, and they can map whats affecting you...

 

i havent had it done since before all this, it'll be interesting to see any changes that are there...

[[...]]

Hey cire

My flare up was from alcohol, a few nights of poor sleep and a stressful day at work, not to mention that bag of reece cups. The flare up lasted most of one  day and started easing after a meditation session and good long nap. I'll stay  on my strict program until the Xmas holidays when it will be time for more "brewsky and diet changes" research. I'll try it again when I won't have to get up early the next day and go to work. It is frustrating to still be so sensitive to these things. My symptoms were definitely benzo w/d and not the usual feeling of a little out of sorts the day after the night before.

Bart

[[ci...]]

Hey cire

My flare up was from alcohol, a few nights of poor sleep and a stressful day at work, not to mention that bag of reece cups. The flare up lasted most of one  day and started easing after a meditation session and good long nap. I'll stay  on my strict program until the Xmas holidays when it will be time for more "brewsky and diet changes" research. I'll try it again when I won't have to get up early the next day and go to work. It is frustrating to still be so sensitive to these things. My symptoms were definitely benzo w/d and not the usual feeling of a little out of sorts the day after the night before.

Bart

 

Sounds exactly like mine. I take back what I said.  It was three nights I had booze.  I have found that I can have a drink up to two nights in a row without problems.  That was the case during taper too. There was only one instance where I had more than one drink and I was fine but Funny how I didn't learn from the other times I learned two nights is the limit haha. 

 

I guess really should stay away from the booze but I really do crave something besides water and decaf tea lol.

[[Te...]]

Cire:

Even though you did a slow taper, it's not uncommon for people to have withdrawal symptoms. That's why I just jumped c/t and said to hell with it and got it all over with.

 

You're just at four months. It takes a while for someone to recover. Take it easy, lay off the booze, and for help with sleep maybe try a combination of generic benadryl (25 mg. works for me) and 5 mg. of melatonin (works just right for me, too). It took me a lot of experimenting to come up with that combination, but it puts me out within half an hour...

 

So, what you're going through is perfectly normal. It takes TIME to heal. You'll be OK.

[[ci...]]

Thanks Tex.  I have been sleeping well except last night.  Melatonin makes me more depressed if I take it more than a few days but I did pop a little tonight.

 

Yeah I know it is still early in withdrawal but my patience and courage wear thin sometimes!!!!

[[...]]

Three nights of booze, huh? That's exactly what I did. 3 beers night one, then 2 beers the second night and 1 the third. I was going to have another beer that third night but I just didn't feel quite right and passed. Maybe over Xmas I'll just not drink on consecutive nights. Over the summer I had a nasty symptom flare up after drinking 1-3 beers a night for about a 5 day period while on vacation.