Acceptance, kind of

[[pl...]]

I think I have gotten to the point where I can accept that things are NOT going to be great, all of the time. I know that they weren't great while on benzos, but it sure feels like they were a lot better than this. I can't stand thinking about controlling my emotions 24/7. It is exhausting and no one in my life knows a damn about what I'm going through.

 

This new found acceptance seems to be working, for now, until some one does something to set me off. Hopefully I will be able to control myself like I have for the past few days. It is hard though.

 

When will it's ever feel like second nature?

[[gi...]]

I haven't gone back and looked at your earlier posts but it appears from your signature you were on a very high dose of klonopin and tapered fast. If things at this point are good sometimes it looks like your healing. I was on 2 MGs for apx 10 yrs and saw no progress for 10 months and now at 15 months + it's been going slow but in the right way.

[[Te...]]

I'm almost 6.5 months out and to be honest, ain't nothin' "second nature" at this point. I have good days, bad days, and really bad day (today is one), and all I can do is just wait this out. I walk as often as I can (I'm in a bad wave right now and didn't walk yesterday and may not walk today -- not to mention the storm that dropped temperatures 40 degrees here...). Still, every day brings with it a new challenge.

 

I'm really getting tired of this crap, but I have no choice. I burned my bridge with my connection overseas, so I have no way of ordering low-cost Valium any longer -- and even if I did it would not be here for 3-4 weeks and by then I'm sure I'll have a different attitude. I have no choice but to just tough it out and hope at some point things get better and stay better!