I was doing so well.

[[fl...]]

I had the worst wave a few weeks ago almost went to the hospital and then felt almost normal until now. On my birthday no less. 1:30am no sleep and surges. I had pasta and some cake. I knew I wasn't getting any from the wife so I rubbed one out. Now I am having funny breathing almost like hyperventilation and surges. WTF! I am so tired of this. Constant lump in my throat. Seems like that has been there forever. Other than the lump and the trembling in my arms legs and neck I felt pretty good for those two weeks. I even stopped coming to this site for that period of time. Why man Why! I think rubbing one out has set me back. This sucks. I cant even have a nice Birthday. When does the freaking trembling stop? It goes on and on and on.

[[Be...]]

maybe she laced your motion lotion with something

 

(put the lotion in the basket)

[[fl...]]

Benzy,

 

I would laugh right now but I cant stop the internal tremors and so on. I hope these tremors are not permanent. When I heal will I be able to have a beer or eat a big bowl of pasta or have sex without problems. I never had a problem prior to Feb of this year. These drugs really f'd me up bad. Any words would be helpful right now.

[[fl...]]

Benzy,

 

I would laugh right now but I cant stop the internal tremors and so on. I hope these tremors are not permanent. When I heal will I be able to have a beer or eat a big bowl of pasta or have sex without problems. I never had a problem prior to Feb of this year. These drugs really f'd me up bad. Any words would be helpful right now.

[[Be...]]

You ever used magnesium?

[[fr...]]

I'm sorry, I know exactly how you feel. I was doing so well myself a few weeks ago and then all hell broke lose and it has been the worst time ever for me over the past five days. ARGGGGHHH

[[Te...]]

It must be something that's going around. I had three really good days -- days when I almost felt normal again. Then pffft, overnight they disappeared and I'm back in a wave filled with anxiety and brain buzz. Oh, well, after more than six months at this I know to just hang in there and that in time this will pass and I'll have some good days again. It's just hard dealing with the bad days. The good days seem to be getting better, but the bad days are just as difficult as ever.

 

At least I know by now that waves are a sign that something is going on in my brain and that healing of some sort is taking place. Now, to just endure the agony...

 

I'm sorry you are having a tough time, flash gordon and frus333. Hang in there. This will pass.

 

(On a totally different note. Flash, every time I see your user ID I have to smile. I know about the comic book hero Flash Gordon, but I recall seeing a XXX-rated porn movie advertised years ago and the title stuck with me: "Flesh Gordon." So now, every time I see your user ID, I pause to make sure it isn't "Flesh Gordon." It makes me smile. I'm not dissing you or your user ID, I'm just sharing a memory from some years back...)

[[Co...]]

Hey Tex,

 

Since they split the w/d & recovery boards I have missed my friends. I cut my dose 86 hrs ago and am feeling jumpy and my lips are predictably numb. I set my scale back b/c the co. sent the wrong one and boy did that botch up my micro taper plans. It has been held up in transit for almost 2 weeks. I cut anyway and hope they ship it soon. I have sent 2 emails and no answer. I am going to call them tomorrow. I was feeling great after holding for 6 weeks but I need to keep going. maybe they sent my scale to the moon. I hope you are doing well.

 

-10 degrees tonight in Colorado BUT I am still here.

[[fl...]]

Texas

 

Any time I can help someone here laugh is another step towards healing. Laugh it up.

[[Te...]]

OK, "Flesh," I'll remember that.

 

Colorado chick: STAY WARM! It's cold down here in southern New Mexico, too! I think it's cold EVERYWHERE!

[[fl...]]

Hey buds this will not let up. It seems like my anxiety is at a point where I could have a cortisol surge but it never really come to happening unless I just sit and dwell on it. I find that staying busy is the best way to deal but enough is enough. Cant I have a moments peace where I can just relax? Im beginning to think the steroids fd me up and the Klonopin has made it permanent. My windows are ok but never to the point where I am symptom free. Feeling really sick and anxious right now. I pray for a good Christmas where I can play with my kids and enjoy it.

[[Ro...]]

maybe she laced your motion lotion with something

 

(put the lotion in the basket)

I legitimately laughed.... Thanks for that.

 

I've never had a wave from rubbing one out so no worries, whack away

[[Ca...]]

I hear ya... I was doing so good for several weeks then suddenly I have a flare up again. Internal shaking, insomnia, every time I about fall asleep I jerk awake & just feel disconnected. I think my flare up is mainly due to the sugar I've been eating lately that I was careful to not eat before. I understand the frustration. I think it's important that we hold on to those days/weeks that we feel better & use that to comfort in times that the symptoms strike- it's not forever... It's more of just trying to find what works & what doesn't & then be persistent w/ what works so that the healing process is easier. Hope you feel better soon & happy birthday

[[Co...]]

Cad,

That thing when you fall asleep and snap awake has got to be one of the worst sx! I get it all night long when in a wave.