Can anyone relate to this video?

[[...]]

I have yet to find anyone whom has described the same withdrawal symptoms. I think it may just be the words as it's hard to describe. I found this video and it's as close a representation that I can find (beginning of the video). I don't feel I'm exactly like this but it seems very similar at the worst moments.

 

It's like a mix of harsh brain waves with jolts that seem like a seizure wants to come on like 100 times a minute. Mix some Panic in and it's a nightmare on earth.  Anyone??  It freaks me out as I did a slow taper, I have always been sensitive to drugs though and I was on for 10 years.

 

I know I don't know what this guy is feeling, it just resembles how I get a bit.

 

WARNING! Do not watch this video if you are sensitive to disturbing content!  I'm not here to freak anyone out, just looking for support without having to video tape myself.

 

 

 

 

 

Fonz

 

 

[[pr...]]

oh Fonz!

 

i put up this video of Marcus all over my blog to show everyone what my brain is still doing. i don't know how to reach him because someone else put up this video. but if i didn't see this video, i would have blown out my own brains. i am so glad i came across this video. my brain does something very similar that his does but it has a longer pulse to it. i've made 3 video's so far because i wanted to document what my brain has been doing for 19 months straight.

 

so are you saying that you're brain does something similar to this? if so, i am so sorry to hear that. but i am also relieved as i have not been able to find anyone whose brain does this on here except for Marcus. i can't believe how painful & tiring it is to have a brain that has these squeeze's and pulse's to it. i could have sworn that the doctor in the detox put something inside my brain. sometimes i still do.

 

does your brain ever feel like there is a tiny little choo-choo train traveling through it and it vibrates and tickles your face especially around your eyes, nose and ears?

 

did you also ever feel like something was traveling inside your brian like a flying saucer or hockey puck? i sure did. my now i have this deep pulse and deep squeeze in the left lower corner that won't stop. it just squeeze's and squeezes. so glad that you posted this!

 

love, pretty

[[Su...]]

Fonz and Pretty,

I'm just so sad and angry you have to go through anything like that.  :'( :'( :'( :'(

Off to bed. Hope you feel O.K.

SD

 

[[...]]

I'm finding it hard to reply because it hurts to know anyone else has anything simular to this.

 

Yes I am saying I have simular things going on.  You mentioned a pulse in the brain,  well exactly..  its hard to describe,  for me its like warm sand oozes over part of my brain.. from here its like my brain shivers which makes me jolt simular to in the video.. its like a microwave is being turned off and on within my head.. I have never had a seizure but it feels like I'm going to lose all reality and become brain dead. It feels like my head is going to explode in a strange way..  its not a headache, it feels like the waves come from within my soul.  Sorry I don't know how to describe how messed up it is.  Throw panic in the mix and yes,  it makes you wish it would just get it over with,  pass out,  die,  whatever..  just make it stop.    I have had slithering sensations, along with cold and hot feelings within my head..  its all very messed up so I don't dare go to the hospital..  id rather die than be put on drugs... I vow to never take these drugs again...

 

I'm sorry you go through anything like this   its unreal that a substance exists that can create such hell. 

 

SD,  thank you for the support...

 

 

Night everyone,  feel better soon.

 

Fonz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Mo...]]

i saw the video couple of months ago and it gave me the goose pimples.

to hear that Pretty and Fonz have similar sxs gives me them again. terrible.

just shows that Klonopin is a real ''Bastard Benzo''

[[pe...]]

fonz,

 

I never understood fully what you and pretty were going through until I saw this video.  Even though it was a little difficult to watch, I'm really glad you shared it.  I feel terrible that you guys are going through something like this.  This drug is just plain evil!  If there's ever anything I can do to help you from afar, please let me know!

 

Hang in there! 

 

PD

[[Te...]]

I tried to watch some of those benzo-related videos on YouTube and they just succeeded in FREAKING ME OUT!

 

I refuse to watch this one, or any other one. Videos capture a specific moment in a specific place and time and are not representative of reality after a day, a week, two weeks, a month, six months, whatever.

 

I just don't trust those videos. I have enough grief as is. I don't need more.

[[...]]

I understand Tex, which is why I put a warning in my post.

 

Thank you for the support everyone! I will let you know PD     

 

Again, I'm not trying to say I experience exactly what this poor sole does, I experience my own version of it which I'm told is not very pretty to see. I posted to find people like Pretty so we can not feel so alone.

 

 

All the best!

 

 

Fonz

[[Te...]]

Thanks for that warning, fonz, though I wouldn't have watched it regardless.

 

Hang in there. Your signature shows you're just one month off. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will be fine. It takes time. That's the only cure. I'm a little over 6 months off a c/t and there have been ups and downs, but slowly, slowly it IS getting better.

 

You will heal, too.

[[pr...]]

Fonz,

 

i was searching for someone else who may have had a similar experience with their brain as myself for 18 months straight. and i couldn't find anyone but again when i saw Marcus's video i was truly grateful. because to think that i was the only one with this was really scary for me. and i too won't see another doctor about it. i saw 5 doctors and a few neurologist the minute i got home from the detox and it just made things worse. i went to the ER 3 times because of the brain symptoms and that's why i ended taking 3 rescue benzo's. i did take a MRI and nothing was shown as far as why it would pulse and squeeze the way it does.

 

my brain wasn't always exactly like his. it was kinda more revved up in the beginning right after the c/t. it did always have pulse's and squeezings. but lately the squeezings are localized in the left lower corner of my brain., obviously something happened there in the detox and i felt it 'blow out' so to speak. when i got home i said to my father over and over "i really think i blew out a potion of my brain"...

 

i got back on klonopin the same year that you got on it. i had been off it for 7 years. yes, i had been on benzo's before too. so that's obviously a reason that i am super kindled and taking longer to heal and with these kinds of brain symptoms. actually i'm doing really good for everything i've been through--really good!! i went to my physical therapist today and i had showed him what my brain had been doing. he asked about it today. he said how concerned he was and that i really needed to get checked and see a doctor. no one really understands.

 

but the good news is (especially for the people who may be reading this who are scared of knowing what my brain has been doing) the last 2 days have been pretty freaking great as far as the pulse's and squeezings. if it would just stay this way, i could forsee myself getting better and better. i have to realize that when my brain does do those intense squeezing that it's really trying to heal. always trying to heal..

 

love, pretty

[[Mo...]]

pretty, makes sense in a way, that the sqeezing is a healing procedure.

would be great if it would stay this way and improve even more up to X-mas.

a nice christmas present for pretty, i am praying for it and for Fonz of course.

[[...]]

Thank you Tex for the encouragement! You are right, it's only been a month. We will heal!!! We all will right!

 

Pretty, great to hear of the last two days for you! Yes I have no doubt you are healing!! It just takes time unfortunately. I have PM'd you.

 

Thank you Morreweg! I will have you in my thought's as well!

 

 

Fonz