Family emergency and I felt so ineffective

[[Co...]]

You know that things are really off kilter when you have a hard time getting it together during an emergency, My 17 year old nephew was skiing in Vail (2 hrs from my home) and crashed during a jump. He is in the hospital. He dislocated his sternum and has a liver laceration. A lot of pain. My brother texted me when he was on his way to the mountains. Hours later when I review the day I feel so ineffective. He is going to be ok. That is what matters. I have been doing well these past few weeks but feel that if anyone really needed me I would not be as effective as I would usually be. As soon as I heard about this I felt such anxiety that I could not breathe. I am usually level headed and quick to respond. Oh how I hate all of this. I could not have driven 2 hrs into the hills in the dark if I had to. He is ok. I will be too. Missing the old days but grateful that my nephew is ok.

[[Mo...]]

You know that things are really off kilter when you have a hard time getting it together during an emergency, My 17 year old nephew was skiing in Vail (2 hrs from my home) and crashed during a jump. He is in the hospital. He dislocated his sternum and has a liver laceration. A lot of pain. My brother texted me when he was on his way to the mountains. Hours later when I review the day I feel so ineffective. He is going to be ok. That is what matters. I have been doing well these past few weeks but feel that if anyone really needed me I would not be as effective as I would usually be. As soon as I heard about this I felt such anxiety that I could not breathe. I am usually level headed and quick to respond. Oh how I hate all of this. I could not have driven 2 hrs into the hills in the dark if I had to. He is ok. I will be too. Missing the old days but grateful that my nephew is ok.

 

The old days will come back Colorado , i am sure once this is over you will be

the strong aunt again you always were in the past , may be even stronger.

[[La...]]

CC:

 

Sorry to hear about your nephews injury. I do a lot of mid-sized jumps in the terrain parks and often think about what would happen if I dont "land well."

 

But seriously, you are only 2 hours from Vail? God, I am so envious.

[[hu...]]

cc,

 

The way you describe your response sounds totally normal under the circumstances of your benzo withdrawal! Like, that super-magnified fear response is really "to be expected!"

 

I think you know that already, but thought it might help to hear it anyway.

 

I'm certain I would have felt the same heightened anxiety in my current condition. I find that that stressors that would normally have raised my internal fear thermometer by a few points just keep seem to accelerate the mercury right up through the top until the whole thermometer explodes! That's the sort of cartoonish metaphor

that is the best way I can understand it.

 

Bottom line: It is indicative of the fact that you are doing the right thing in your slow V taper. You are doing the responsible thing that will eventually enable you to be stronger for yourself and for your loved ones.

 

I hope that helps you to see that the glass really is half-full!

 

[[Co...]]

Hey everyone,

 

Thanks for chiming in. My nephew was released from the hospital today. He is in a lot of pain but will be ok. It was a tense day.

Laserj: I live in the most beautiful area. I am headed to Frisco for Christmas. Right outside of Breckenridge. After holding my last cut for 6 weeks I cut to .65 this am. I know I will be feeling it within a week. I have 3 weeks until Christmas. Maybe I will get lucky and even out by then. BUT, tonight I am ok. Paradoxical but no nausea and no paranoia. We have to love the good days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

from Colorado