Home Life Changes

[[pl...]]

So apparently, according to my wife, I haven't changed much in the area of my personal life. She says that she is still frustrated by the same things that she was while I WAS on benzos. I mean, is this a fucking joke? The person who supported me and helped me decide to do this tells me that she isn't seeing the results? Why am I even doing it then? For me? I'm miserable most of the time. I am so intrigued by life now that I see it so differently, but life is a whole lot easier on benzos...it seems. (but I know that it is not).

 

We were fighting all day. Life is tough and we have been together taking care opt our two kids for 4 days now. I get it, but we went into this whole conversation about intimacy in our relationship and communication when she told me that she sees the differences in me, but things at home are still not good. I need her to understand that things will get better. I need her to NOT be resentful of my past. This is the tricky part. She is tainted by our past experiences and unable to get over this situations. We need to seek therapy, but there is never a good time.

 

I need to figure out a better way for our day to day to work out. I want us to be this picture perfect family, but that is unrealistic. If we can just get along and exude happiness for our kids, then I am happy.

 

Make sense?...?

[[da...]]

Platt,

You have to understand that her life is not easy also. It is a different pain that she is feeling, but stil pain. Maybe therapy for both would be a good idea.

I may sound cool when I post here, but I am battling with a lot of frustration, dispair, depression, anxiety every day. I jump up at night even when my husband is sleeping to listen his breathe, to be sure he sleeps. I am exhausted often as sometimes I go to sleep after he falls asleep to be sure he is not spending another sleepless night they may push him to suicide.

As more you need she understands you, you need also to aknoledge what she is going through.

[[pl...]]

I understand what you are saying. It sounds like you are in a tough spot. I commend you for taking the stapes that you have in order to understand your husbands issues. That is amazing and I couldn't picture anyone ever doing that for me. He is a lucky man, whether he realizes it or not.

 

I know that her life is hard. I do. Mainly, because she tells me. She has a policy for being transparent. She doesn't ever want to be responsible for a relationship end gin, so I guess she feels that the best route is to be 100% honest about her emotions. I like that about her, but it is fought o keep up with. For example, yesterday she told me that she is no longer even interested in intimacy. She doesn't think that it is important for the relationship anymore. She made it clear that the only reason she is still in the relationship is for the kids. She is NOT interested in me, outside of the financial benefits that come from being married and having a duel income. What do I do with that information? I am not interested in being with someone that doesn't feel attracted to me or want to have ANY romance in the relationship. I also, do not want to see my kids on weekends only. You know? Both my wife and I feel like getting separated is selfish and not fair to the kids.

 

Still sucks though...