Only back on for two weeks

[[So...]]

I hate this stuff.

 

I reinstated two weeks ago and feel like I have no mind left. I can't think straight half the time.

 

Would a rapid taper kill me? I was ill from the c/t, but I realize that I felt much better then.

 

Denise 

[[...]]

Hello Denise,

 

 

  No a rapid taper will not kill you! It might make your symptoms stronger or you might have a few seizures, so you just need to be very carefully. I C/T-ed myself and lived threw it. It was difficult for me at first, but I just dug in for a crazy journey.      I made it threw, and you could too, you just have to be tough. 

 

    I do feel bad that anyone has to go threw this crazy time. My heart goes out for everyone of my BB out there. 

 

 

  Just hang in there Denise, you will get threw this.   

 

 

 

  Godspeed to you,       

 

 

 

 

 

Rocket

[[Ne...]]

Denise: I dunno honey, but things are all over the place with you right now. You were to reinstate to help you put on pre-surgery weight, but you are bouncing rapidly from one med to another. Now you want off, but I thought you needed to be on. I'm thinking you don't really have a firm plan for yourself, and also every time you switch to a new benzo you don't like the side effects so you want to switch again. It is getting to be a bit of a muddled mess.

 

Here's what I would do: 1) First make a firm decision about whether to stick with the benzo, and then pick one that has the least problems for you and stick with it. Realize that there are always problems with meds which often resolve if you give yourself time to adjust to them before jumping ship. Going back and forth is not doing yourself any favors here. 2) If you decide to taper, then do it soon. In my accounting of your situation, this two weeks is getting to be more than two weeks. So, if taper is the way you want to go, then start by planning it out and then doing it. I would start out slow and careful initially until you establish a response.

 

My confusion here is that you stated the doctor wanted you on a benzo to gain weight for surgery. If the surgery hasn't happened yet and you're supposed to be on a pre-surgical benzo, then I assume this idea to get off the benzo is because it is not helping you put on weight. Yet, you also state that you don't want to start your taper until you put on more weight, yet you also state that you are having trouble putting on weight because of the benzo. You really, really need to clarify for yourself exactly what it is you want to accomplish here, then plan it out, then execute the plan, and then stick to it. Whatever you decide there is going to be some discomfort involved. If you fully understand this beforehand, and establish an attitude that you are just going to stick with the plan despite some discomfort, then you will have more chance of actually accomplishing whatever goal it is you end up deciding for yourself. Quickly abandoning one thing for another as soon as some discomfort arises is not serving you well right now. You are literally bouncing from one course of action to another on an almost daily basis. This is just not good for you, your situation, or your cns. So, as we say in scuba diving when we get into a difficult situation..."STOP.  Then THINK. And only after you've done the first two, then ACT:  Stop. Think. Act."

 

3) If you haven't already, maybe it is time to establish some anxiety coping mechanisms into your daily life. Light exercise and meditation are a few daily techniques. There are also inexpensive online CBT courses with daily therapist feedback that will teach and help you with anxiety and other issues. (National Stress Clinic has an excellent qualified reputable 8 week online course). Anxiety coping will help with your taper and post taper life, plus assist in controlling future anxiety so that benzos may well not be required again.

 

I truly hope you can get this sorted out. I feel that a firm plan is something you need to establish as priority one. Take a few days and really think it through. Write a pro and con list, develop a plan that you have put some thought into. Then execute the plan and give it a chance to work. Whatever you decide, this forum can help you with your plan (ie: taper plan).

 

My very best wishes.

[[So...]]

Thanks New Moon!

 

I guess it's because I have never taken a benzo during the day, and I did not realize the foggy feelings and fatigue they give you.

 

Klonopin scared me because of all of the horror stories of muscle and nerve damage. My Dr would let me stay on it long enough to get my weight back up. But, it was making me feel awful. But, maybe I didn't give it enough time. I took it for 10 days.

 

So, he switched me to Ativan with the understanding that I was not going to be allowed to stay on it for very long at 2 mg per day. He will allow me to stay on 1 mg per day. But, with Ativan, your tolerance builds up quickly, from what I hear. And, it also has it's own problems getting off of because of it's short duration.

 

I keep posting to get answers to which is the lesser of the two evils, but I don't get a lot of responses from the people on both sides of the fence.

 

Most of my questions about Klonopin are, does the fogginess and fatigue ease up over time?

 

And, the same question with the Ativan. But, also, how long does it take to build up tolerance to Ativan once I get down to the 1 mg?

 

These benzo's just scare the heck out of me. I was hoping they would ease my fears about eating, so I could gain some weight, but now I have even more fears. And, I am tired of feeling so sluggish on them. That is also making it difficult to want to eat.

 

What a dilemma I am in!!

 

Denise 

[[In...]]

 

 

Most of my questions about Klonopin are, does the fogginess and fatigue ease up over time?

 

 

From my experience, no. My thinking got worse and worse the longer I took it. It's the reason I stopped c/t after 6 months, fried brain and constant awakening at night.

[[Mo...]]

hi Denise,

i really hate to see you being worried like this, it makes me sad.

but please read the reply of NewMoon again and again , it was the best

advise i have read here for a long time. exellent i must say.

take care and i hope you are smart and patient enough to work out the right solution.

love claudia

[[Fo...]]

I don't think you are getting the answers you are looking for because each of us experience so many different things. None of this really makes sense and there is no way to know what each will do. For every response you see towards something, you'll see an opposite of that response. It's never the same. You have to decide for yourself what you think is best for you, nobody here can do that for you. NewMoon offered great advice, I would start there.

[[So...]]

 

 

Most of my questions about Klonopin are, does the fogginess and fatigue ease up over time?

 

 

From my experience, no. My thinking got worse and worse the longer I took it. It's the reason I stopped c/t after 6 months, fried brain and constant awakening at night.

 

I have already been through one c/t and it was horrible. I was really hoping for a good long taper, but trying to pick which med to taper has been my problem. Valium is out, because the Dr won't prescribe it. So, it comes down to the lesser of two evils.

 

So, another c/t would probably kill me!! Or, I would do it in a heartbeat!

 

Denise 

[[So...]]

hi Denise,

i really hate to see you being worried like this, it makes me sad.

but please read the reply of NewMoon again and again , it was the best

advise i have read here for a long time. exellent i must say.

take care and i hope you are smart and patient enough to work out the right solution.

love claudia

 

Thanks, Claudia!

 

She did give me excellent advice. It is still so hard to decide my course os action, when all of them will have very difficult outcomes. So, trying to figure out the lesser of the evils is difficult.

 

Denise 

[[In...]]

 

 

Most of my questions about Klonopin are, does the fogginess and fatigue ease up over time?

 

 

From my experience, no. My thinking got worse and worse the longer I took it. It's the reason I stopped c/t after 6 months, fried brain and constant awakening at night.

 

I have already been through one c/t and it was horrible. I was really hoping for a good long taper, but trying to pick which med to taper has been my problem. Valium is out, because the Dr won't prescribe it. So, it comes down to the lesser of two evils.

 

So, another c/t would probably kill me!! Or, I would do it in a heartbeat!

 

Denise 

 

Oh no Denise, I was not suggesting you go c/t. I was answering your question that instead of the fogginess easing up over time it intensified greatly! And that it was so bad I just stopped taking the medicine. Had no idea of BB at that time or tapering. Please consider tapering off as quickly and safely as possible to spare yourself a potential similar increase in fogginess.   One thing I was doing due to the reaction was breaking the pill into pieces and taking bits throughout the day. That might help lower the intensity of your fogginess instead of whacking you all at once.

[[So...]]

I don't think you are getting the answers you are looking for because each of us experience so many different things. None of this really makes sense and there is no way to know what each will do. For every response you see towards something, you'll see an opposite of that response. It's never the same. You have to decide for yourself what you think is best for you, nobody here can do that for you. NewMoon offered great advice, I would start there.

 

Your taper off of klonopin has been awful hasn't it?

 

It's that way with almost all of the klonopin people. This is what scared me away from it, and got me in a pickle with the Ativan.

 

Now, I have to be down to 1 mg from 2 mg within the next few months. My Dr will then allow me to stay at the 1 mg, which would allow me a longer taper.

 

What a mess I am in!!

 

Denise 

[[Sa...]]

So true Ms'''' ig ot six injectins and now its worst 190 x.    Than before'''no windows''im in hell'''''''so I know what you experiencing'''''''

Ppp

[[So...]]

Okay.

 

I think I have a game plan.

 

I need to get tapered off the little bit of Klonopin that I have still been taking. I will finish that up between now and Christmas.

 

I am going to try and stabilize on Ativan through Christmas. Then beggggg my Dr to let me do a long taper. I am hoping that if he see's that I am making progress, then he will continue to help me.

 

He still thinks that all of my symptoms from my c/t are not w/d related, so he has been a little difficult to work with at times. But, I will just take my Mom and Husband as back up support and maybe he will listen to them.

 

This should give a long enough time to get my dental work and surgeries done.

 

But, can someone on Ativan please promise me that this daytime drowsiness will eventually let up!! Please!!

 

Denise 

[[be...]]

hi Denise,

i really hate to see you being worried like this, it makes me sad.

but please read the reply of NewMoon again and again , it was the best

advise i have read here for a long time. exellent i must say.

take care and i hope you are smart and patient enough to work out the right solution.

love claudia

 

 

What she said about NewMoon's advice. Ditto. benzogirl

[[So...]]

hi Denise,

i really hate to see you being worried like this, it makes me sad.

but please read the reply of NewMoon again and again , it was the best

advise i have read here for a long time. exellent i must say.

take care and i hope you are smart and patient enough to work out the right solution.

love claudia

 

 

What she said about NewMoon's advice. Ditto. benzogirl

 

I do have a game plan now.  I have been getting very good advice on tapering the Ativan from Birdman, the Queen of Long Tapers.

 

So, I am feeling much better about all of this.

 

Read the post above yours, and it will explain it a little more.

 

Denise 

[[Fo...]]

I'm glad you found a game plan. It'll help throughout coming back down. Yeah, my taper is horrible..I was in tolerance when I started and I'm not sure if I'm having paradoxical effects.

 

I'm sure the drowsy feeling with ease up. Good luck with your taper back down, I really hope it's as symptom free as possible and you get well soon!

[[So...]]

I'm glad you found a game plan. It'll help throughout coming back down. Yeah, my taper is horrible..I was in tolerance when I started and I'm not sure if I'm having paradoxical effects.

 

I'm sure the drowsy feeling with ease up. Good luck with your taper back down, I really hope it's as symptom free as possible and you get well soon!

 

Thank you!!

 

I hope your taper starts getting easier for you!!

 

Denise 

[[La...]]

Sophia:

 

But, can someone on Ativan please promise me that this daytime drowsiness will eventually let up!! Please!!

 

Yes, it will let up. I think I've mentioned this in another thread that tolerance to Ativan's sedation develops quite rapidly. Cog-fog, which is different, however will still persist until your dose gets down low.

 

But in reading all the responses in this thread, I would concur with New Moon's advice; please read and consider it very carefully. Resign yourself to the fact that no taper is going to be pleasant, ativan, klonopin, or otherwise. But on the other hand, none will kill you.

 

If necessary, you can drop from 2 mg Ativan to 1 mg in the requisite 3 months. I dropped 0.5 mg of Ativan in 3 weeks. It sent me for a big loop, but I recovered and stabilized from it, proceeded downward on my taper and have made it this far.

[[So...]]

Thanks, Laserjet!!

 

I really am dreading the taper. My poor heart rate has been so out of control since my c/t. The Dr was hoping it would calm down with the reinstatement, but that failed.

 

I can't take bp meds, due to low bp. Ugghh!! Just seems like a hopeless position to be in.

 

 

Denise 

[[Be...]]

Nana,,, there is no lesser of evils in this game, aint you figured that out yet? 

There is not lesser of evils, so make one plan and stick it out, any other plans will just end up the same anyway, "stabilize" first though 

[[So...]]

Nana,,, there is no lesser of evils in this game, aint you figured that out yet? 

There is not lesser of evils, so make one plan and stick it out, any other plans will just end up the same anyway, "stabilize" first though 

 

Thanks Benzy,

 

It is so hard when all of it makes you feel so crappy! I guess that I am stuck with Ativan, but worried that my Dr is going want me to do a fast taper.

 

Denise 

[[So...]]

Nana,,, there is no lesser of evils in this game, aint you figured that out yet? 

There is not lesser of evils, so make one plan and stick it out, any other plans will just end up the same anyway, "stabilize" first though 

 

How do you know when you are stabilized?

 

I am taking .50 of Ativan every 6 hours. I am having some anxiety through the day. Just a little here and there. I did not have this much before my reinstatement. Not like this anyway. Is the Ativan causing it?

 

Or, is it because I am so nervous being back on a benzo and now having to taper?

 

What do you think?

 

Denise 

[[La...]]

Nana,,, there is no lesser of evils in this game, aint you figured that out yet? 

There is not lesser of evils, so make one plan and stick it out, any other plans will just end up the same anyway, "stabilize" first though 

 

How do you know when you are stabilized?

 

I am taking .50 of Ativan every 6 hours. I am having some anxiety through the day. Just a little here and there. I did not have this much before my reinstatement. Not like this anyway. Is the Ativan causing it?

 

Or, is it because I am so nervous being back on a benzo and now having to taper?

 

What do you think?

 

Denise 

 

You probably wont like this response, but when you stabilize, you will just know it. You will feel it. You wont need any specific criteria, you will be able to say "I feel pretty stable in these shoes." You wont see it coming, but when it arrives, you will know it. If you do not taper slowly enough, it may not arrive, so go slow and it will come.

 

Could Ativan be CAUSING anxiety?  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

Absolutely! This is the demented irony of this drug. It is prescribed as an anxiolytic, yet at some point for many of us here, it does exactly the opposite. When we are in tolerance wd or tapering; Ativan is causing anxiety for me. Looking back on my taper thus far, the lower my Ativan dose, THE LESS ANXIETY I AM HAVING. What a twisted drug!

[[So...]]

Thanks for your help, Laserjet.

 

I really do hate this drug. I have only been on it for such a short time. But, so ready to get it out of my system!! I am hoping I can start to slooooowly taper it after Christmas.

 

Denise