An update on me

[[rs...]]

Well guys its been quite a ride.. for anyone who followed me at all I had been making good progress.. did a 2 months taper, and made it 2-3 months ct off klonopin... however to sum of what been going on, I was doing great at about 2-3 months ct, i had energy somewhat, clear thinking, all was well other than insomnia. I was living in texas at the time (only for a month to live with a best friend while i continued my withdrawal). Then things got rough living there due to him having financial problems and almost getting evicted i was getting worried i wouldnt be able to stay much longer so i just went back on home to Florida. I got home and that first night i COULD NOT sleep at all... i had to smoke some marijuana to finally get to bed at 12 pm that next day. a few days go by, i made an appointment to see an ENT because on the way home from texas i was having bad head pressure, headaches, and a sore throat. Ive always had sinus problems anyways. So i go to see him, at this point im worried oh i have a brain tumor. I always worry about that since i still to this day have these weird headaches in the back and sides of my head and in the from sometimes too. Anyways the first thing he says is well lets do a ct scan so we can look in there and see if theres any infection, tumors blah blah. I freak out a little, not to much just elevated my blood pressure a little bit. I get home that night, and im not doing well... very dizzy, bad head pain, freaking out, cant sleep, feeling hopeless. I make the decision to go to the ER. I get to the ER, receive Ativan 1 mg, calms me down well. Get a sinus ct scan. leave with a script for 15 .5 mg xanax to hold me over till i can see my psych... i got home that night from the hospital and passed right out from the ativan they gave me earlier. the next day felt much better, got my xanax script, and life was good. would take a xanax at night and seemed to get to sleep. Then all of the sudden the insomnia struct again. I would take a .5 xanax, and no sleep. I went to go see my psychiatrist to get put back on a ssri, I believe THE REASON I FAILED was because i decided to c/t my celexa during benzo taper which i had been taking for 5 years. Anyways got some celexa, took it for a day.. didnt sleep really, then the next day my head felt all ramped up... At this point i had been awake for about 3 days... i had lost hope yet again.. and this time went back to the ER, they gave me valium, got there had blood pressure of 189/110 , after a few hours of the 5mg valium kicking in blood pressure went down to 132. I made the bad decision of saying i was suicidal, this was a lie. i did it for attention because i was afraid that i wasnt going to get to sleep and start hallucinating or something. so they kept me, the valium was not enough to get me to sleep, so they gave me something called zyprexa which knocked me down and got me a few hours of sleep, anyways the next day i was transferred to a psychiatric unit in a hospital. Which was... Jail... i started freaking out saying no no i dont belong there, but i was under this law where i had to stay for 72 hours.. long story short it was hell. got out of there 3 days later and was still not really feeling well. They put me on prozac, which was pretty much meth.. it created horrible bouts of insomnia where i would sleep for one day, they stay awake for 3 days, then sleep, then stay awake for 3 days, i would have to take klonopin to get any sleep at all. The prozac made me feel so dizzy and so weird, it was a really bad experience. to top it off i had two people i know, one which was a good friend who was 22 years old die of cancer, and being a hypochondriac this just sent me over the edge. I went to see a psych to get something for sleep, tried seroquel didnt work. then tried zyprexa worked. but made me so tired the next day... however now i started having PANIC ATTACKS, i havnt had these in years... i would just wake up from a nap or something, and my mind would be blank.. couldnt pull a thought into my head didnt know where i was.. then freak out... HORRIBLE panic attacks... that was it... So i went and saw a new psych since the one i was seeing was anti benzo... told her all of this, and am now back on Klonopin and xanax... UGHHHHHHHH

 

So anyways the battle is not over.. my plan from here is, time. I need to find a way to get over my friends deaths, and i need to stabilize my anxiety. i Switched from the prozac to zoloft, am 2 weeks in working my way up to 100mg which i will start in a few days. I have to take xanax .5 mg once to twice daily and then .5-1.5 mg of klonopin towards the night to relax me then get me to sleep.

 

So once i get stabilized on my zoloft, and the weird feelings and the panic attacks stop.. then i guess i can try the process... all..over..again...

[[Ne...]]

Hi: Reading your account I get the very strong impression that much of what instigated all of this was pure anxiety. If I were you, I would very seriously try to start addressing this problem now. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be done online very cheaply with daily therapist feedback (National Stress Clinic is one such reputable site that offers this service at low rates). The CBT program will also stress the importance of symptom control like diet, exercise, and meditation. Mindful Meditation is especially helpful for anxiety and for enforcing new neural pathways and restoring the hippocampus (the 'calm down' part of the brain).

 

I feel that you really need to start establishing these anxiety control techniques as soon as possible, and to integrate them into your daily routine. Without adequate coping mechanisms you will continue to have issues with anxiety. This is just my opinion, but I really do feel that this is a key element in everything that has happened to you thus far.