Setback to hell

[[al...]]

Well I am in a huge setback.. I am 25 months benzofree and I was pretty much healed up until September 6, 2013.. When I cut back on my horrible soda habit of 8 cans of Pepsi a day.. I came off way too fast not thinking and had a massive panic attack.. I stopped cold turkey bad I have been literally floored with every benzo sx I ever had .. I am 83 days off the caffeine and completely devastated.. I don't even know what to do at this point.. I have a fully considered reinstating because I'm in such bad shape.. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated... So scared at this point.. Sever anxiety, dp, dr the  whole nine yards.. I feel like this is permanent and I don't have any choices

[[On...]]

Have you tried reinstating the pepsi? Hope you feel better

[[al...]]

Yes and the panic attack I had brought the paramedics to my house.. I don't know what to do..how did your reinstatement go? Did it kindle you?

[[On...]]

I mean i feel kindled now. The first 2 times I got off I really didnt have much w/d. Ive had the paramedics come prolly 20 times the past year to my house. What was your bp and hr?

[[In...]]

I've read caffeine w/d can be very bad for some people. Taking more benzos sounds like a recipe for disaster. Could be a wave that was coming caffeine w/d or not. Could be an extra long caffeine w/d. Could be some anxiety. Could be something completely unrelated like thyroid, etc..... Try to eliminate a few things before even considering the benzos again. 

 

Not knowing anything of your history makes this difficult to help with. People are going to be curious of what benzo(s) you took, what dose, how long you took it, did you taper off or cold-turkey, have you gone off benzos more than once and were kindling, how long of a taper, did you take rescue doses, how long have your symptoms been gone, what condition led you to benzos in the first place, did you drink alcohol on benzos, did you drink during taper or after jumping or recently, do you take supplements, are you taking other psych meds, etc.........

[[al...]]

Oh gosh none of that!! I slowly tapered 3 mgs Valium which I ended up in due to what I think was caffeine wd !!!! 3 years ago.. Go figure.. I also fast tapered opiates.. Drank caffeine 25 years.. Tons.. Had a panic attack and ct..docs have me benzos a few weeks and I only got worse so I stopped those .. Reinstated after 2 months and did a 7 month taper.. Did amazing.. Came off oct 21, 2011.. Got pregnant I. June 2012 and had baby in march.. Thought maye it was postpartum but I was perfectly fine until 24 hours after I quit caffeine.. Total acid trip hit me.. Bad bad.. No anxiety before this.. No supplements, no nothing.. Only some green smoothies.. I drank those for months.. I am still breastfeeding. I am in serious hell.. Been to doc 6 times.. Hormones, thyroid , everything  perfect.. I am baffled.. It's gotta be the caffeine.. What the heck else?!?!?? Still in shock

[[In...]]

Well, congrats on the baby! They are wonderful.

 

Since you have had everything checked and it's all normal (that's good!) then, wow, that's quite a caffeine w/d. Like OneLove24 said if you could reinstate caffeine and taper off slowly but sounds like that didn't work. I guess maybe your nervous system is still sensitive and the shock of no caffeine threw it off and could not get back on track very quickly. I wish I had some ideas but not sure what is going on. Hopefully some other folks will see this message and have some experience to share with you. Take care 

[[pr...]]

setbacks are a part of this until full healing. i hope you don't reinstate. i had major setback at 7 years out the first time and reinstated not knowingly and couldn't get back off benzo's for another ten years!

[[al...]]

setbacks are a part of this until full healing. i hope you don't reinstate. i had major setback at 7 years out the first time and reinstated not knowingly and couldn't get back off benzo's for another ten years!

 

How long were you in the setback and what triggered it? I'm doing so very bad I don't know what to do:(

[[al...]]

Ong I have never felt this bad.. It's like a cold turkey and  don't know how to survive this..how long can a setback take? I am literally in the throes of hell.. So mortified I don't know what to do

[[Ne...]]

alanis: This is a terrible disappointment for you, but as previously stated, not unheard of. Obviously reinstatement is not an option, especially if you're breastfeeding. I am thinking that perhaps a combo of the caffeine w/d plus the postpartum hormones threw you into this wave. Bad as it is, I would just do anything to ride it out. There is a good chance that it will not be long...the last throes of a healing nervous system. Try to handle the symptoms in all the non-medicinal ways you know: mild exercise, meditation, mint tea, baths, avoid glutamates for a bit...whatever it takes. Please resist the urge to reinstate, and sweetie, I fully understand that that is so easy to say but so, so hard to do.

 

I can't imagine how upset you must be...how devastated, but honestly, I feel it won't last long based on your history of tapering and no protracted problems up until now. Definitely fluctuations in thyroid function can be a culprit, and postpartum can mess temporarily with the thyroid, but things level out quickly on that front. If you opt for supplements, keep in mind the baby and check with your doctor first. Magnesium and Vitamin C can help with certain symptoms, but you need to be careful since you are breastfeeding.

 

I would definitely start a symptom log listing all your symptoms and rating them weekly from 0-10. This way you have a visual record of your progress...it is a valuable psychological tool. Even though it is the last thing you feel like doing now, it will help you map progress - and you WILL have progress likely much faster than you can imagine right now.

 

I wish I could offer something more concrete and definite, but we both know that isn't possible. The mysteries of benzo recovery are quite baffling at times...well, most of the time.

 

Above all, keep posting and letting us know how you are. Take very special care.

 

 

[[al...]]

alanis: This is a terrible disappointment for you, but as previously stated, not unheard of. Obviously reinstatement is not an option, especially if you're breastfeeding. I am thinking that perhaps a combo of the caffeine w/d plus the postpartum hormones threw you into this wave. Bad as it is, I would just do anything to ride it out. There is a good chance that it will not be long...the last throes of a healing nervous system. Try to handle the symptoms in all the non-medicinal ways you know: mild exercise, meditation, mint tea, baths, avoid glutamates for a bit...whatever it takes. Please resist the urge to reinstate, and sweetie, I fully understand that that is so easy to say but so, so hard to do.

 

I can't imagine how upset you must be...how devastated, but honestly, I feel it won't last long based on your history of tapering and no protracted problems up until now. Definitely fluctuations in thyroid function can be a culprit, and postpartum can mess temporarily with the thyroid, but things level out quickly on that front. If you opt for supplements, keep in mind the baby and check with your doctor first. Magnesium and Vitamin C can help with certain symptoms, but you need to be careful since you are breastfeeding.

 

I would definitely start a symptom log listing all your symptoms and rating them weekly from 0-10. This way you have a visual record of your progress...it is a valuable psychological tool. Even though it is the last thing you feel like doing now, it will help you map progress - and you WILL have progress likely much faster than you can imagine right now.

 

I wish I could offer something more concrete and definite, but we both know that isn't possible. The mysteries of benzo recovery are quite baffling at times...well, most of the time.

 

Above all, keep posting and letting us know how you are. Take very special care.

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much ... Your post literally brought me to tears.. I have been trying to figure out where I went wrong.. I though it was the green smoothies or the tiny bit of wine I cooked wih one day.. But it's gotta be what you said.. I'm literally in the throes of hell.. I have no one to turn to.. My family xant believe it and neither can I.. And yes I am more devastated than imaginable .. I am literally pushing second to second.. Crying. For hours.. I can't understand.. I never saw this coming ... I am

Crying as I type because I feel like who I was is gone.. Again .. .. My life just came back .. I was just gonna write my success story.. have bad akathasia , physical anxiety, shakes, horrible head sx, terrible anxiety, sick feeling like death, fear, terror.. It's unfathomable to be back here.. I forgot:(.. I forgot all of this..my poor kids .. I am a failure.. I was in perfect health.. I'm 84 days off caffeine with one slip in the first weeks.. My sx are total cold turkey... I have suicidial ideations. Too.. Just in hell... I pray I don't get worse.. Cause I have this last two weeks .. I did nothing to warrant this.. Maybe some stress but this is crazy.. I cannot believe I am posting here again .. Thank you .. I pray I survive this.. I have had one 4 hour window the whole time.. Caffeine is poison

[[er...]]

Alanis

This happened to me at 27 months off benzo .

I took Lozenge for  sore throat  3 days , then I felt good I stop .

In half hour after stop I was in acute w/d for two days . Was absolutely hell . 

Please don't take any benzo , any drugs , please .

 

 

I don't take more lozenge  nothing and slowly I was better . We needto taper everything look like .

I cannot drink tea , coffe  ., nothing at 28 months off or in w/d .

Stay strong , will go away in couple of days .

Love Erika

 

[[al...]]

Alanis

This happened to me at 27 months off benzo .

I took Lozenge for  sore throat  3 days , then I felt good I stop .

In half hour after stop I was in acute w/d for two days . Was absolutely hell . 

Please don't take any benzo , any drugs , please .

 

 

I don't take more lozenge  nothing and slowly I was better . We needto taper everything look like .

I cannot drink tea , coffe  ., nothing at 28 months off or in w/d .

Stay strong , will go away in couple of days .

Love Erika

 

Erika, it's been 84 days:(.. I'm very scared

[[Fl...]]

If you are talking about regular soda I wouldn't discount sugar being a factor. You might want to get your blood sugar checked cause dropping that much sugar intake like that could probably cause problems as well.

[[al...]]

I had a million blood tests done.. Nothing.. No hope left anymore .. My kids are losing me

[[fr...]]

Found this about the 'science' behind caffeine withdrawal. Maybe it will help you understand.

 

http://www.caffeineinformer.com/caffeine-withdrawal-symptoms-top-ten

[[pr...]]

have you been taking any extra hormone like bioidenticals such as progesterone or anything else? yes, i've heard of caffeine causing setbacks. it did with matt samet just recently and his setback was also at the 7 year mrk but he's doing much better already--his only lasted about 3 months.

 

but when you go through this setback and come out of it, most likely it won't happen again. i really think setbacks can be a depper part of a full healing... so to reinstate like i did would be so bad at this point. you  have a chance of never getting off benzo's again. it took me ten years and i tried to taper every single day after i got back on them.

 

there was no rhyme or reason to my setback at 7 years the last time. i didn't even know that is what was happening and now in hindsight i do. there was a lot of stress in my life when it occurred in 2002 and i was also diagnosed with MS and although still unsure of that diagnosis. i was drinking only 2 cups of coffee daily along with 2 cigarettes. not too much but just enough along with a good amount of sugar. all of that was still too much for my fragile CNS. i shouldn't have been having anything like sugar, coffee and cigarettes even though is was a small amount--it was every day.

[[ni...]]

It may be partially a postpartum thing. It can take a year or more for your hormones to get back to normal, particularly if you are breast feeding. Some women develop postpartum depression a year after giving birth often when they quit nursing. I am not suggesting that you have PPD, just that while having children is wonderful, it takes a toll on your body.

[[al...]]

have you been taking any extra hormone like bioidenticals such as progesterone or anything else? yes, i've heard of caffeine causing setbacks. it did with matt samet just recently and his setback was also at the 7 year mrk but he's doing much better already--his only lasted about 3 months.

 

but when you go through this setback and come out of it, most likely it won't happen again. i really think setbacks can be a depper part of a full healing... so to reinstate like i did would be so bad at this point. you  have a chance of never getting off benzo's again. it took me ten years and i tried to taper every single day after i got back on them.

 

there was no rhyme or reason to my setback at 7 years the last time. i didn't even know that is what was happening and now in hindsight i do. there was a lot of stress in my life when it occurred in 2002 and i was also diagnosed with MS and although still unsure of that diagnosis. i was drinking only 2 cups of coffee daily along with 2 cigarettes. not too much but just enough along with a good amount of sugar. all of that was still too much for my fragile CNS. i shouldn't have been having anything like sugar, coffee and cigarettes even though is was a small amount--it was every day.

 

Thank you for your response honey.. Matt samet is my friend... He is still in his setback.. We talk everyday.. He's at 4 months out and this week hes doing a tad better...I'm at 85 days..I pray that I can make it.. No hormones at all. I'm breast feeding .. I still have no period and she is 8 months.. I was perfectly fine till literally the 24. Hours after I quit...I was wondering how long setbacks take..

[[al...]]

Well I am in a huge setback.. I am 25 months benzofree and I was pretty much healed up until September 6, 2013.. When I cut back on my horrible soda habit of 8 cans of Pepsi a day.. I came off way too fast not thinking and had a massive panic attack.. I stopped cold turkey bad I have been literally floored with every benzo sx I ever had .. I am 83 days off the caffeine and completely devastated.. I don't even know what to do at this point.. I have a fully considered reinstating because I'm in such bad shape.. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated... So scared at this point.. Sever anxiety, dp, dr the  whole nine yards.. I feel like this is permanent and I don't have any choices

 

I'm not a professional but here is my guess. Caffeine can cause panic attacks, but why would stopping caffeine cause a panic attack? Caffeine withdrawal is more likely to cause headaches. Having withdrawn from caffeine myself I believe the withdrawal period is very short. I drank at least eight cans of diet coke per day for years and was over the headaches in a few days after stopping. Stopping the caffeine stopped my panic attacks. When I researched caffeine I learned that you can induce panic attacks in normal people by loading them up with excessive caffeine. Stopping caffeine should make panic less likely, not more likely.

 

If it were me I would seriously consider the possibility that there is more going on than just caffeine withdrawal. I know benzo buddies are supposed to hate doctors, but i would make an appointment. And yes, I would even consider taking a benzo for a short time (a few weeks) to stabilize.

 

My rationale is simple. We cannot be objective about about our own health decisions. A doctor is detached and objective. If she thinks you need benzos, you can limit the prescription to a week or two, or even refuse to take them at all. But it can't hurt to seek professional help. For example, the Doctor may want to do a thyroid panel in light of your past heavy caffeine use.

 

I'm sorry Nathan but this was not a very positive post.. I'm 10000000 percent sure there is nothing else wrong with me.. I have had all panels done.. I never had these sx or anxiety.. Matt samet is also in a huge setback from caffeine and he is 8 years off benzos.. I am sure this is caffeine that is the culprit.. I do  NOT want to reinstate.. I am trying to get through this.. Positive only please

[[al...]]

It may be partially a postpartum thing. It can take a year or more for your hormones to get back to normal, particularly if you are breast feeding. Some women develop postpartum depression a year after giving birth often when they quit nursing. I am not suggesting that you have PPD, just that while having children is wonderful, it takes a toll on your body.

 

I had considered that but all these sx are def benzo sx... That's the crazy thing.. Caffeine is the only other thing it could be.. Within 24 hours of quitting, I was in benzo hell again...I forgot to mention that I had severe insomnia and diareaha for almost the first two months... This is starting. To get a bit better.. My sleep has improved to 6-7 hours most nights.. And no more diareaha ... I'm at day 85.. Tons of anxiety still and it makes things so much worse.. I literally had zero anxiety ... None... Lot of head sx which make me crazy

[[al...]]

I do think that the caffeine wd is messing with my hormones way worse though.. But I have heard that if I just stop I could get way worsens I'm already worse....caffeine messes with some people very bad... I'm hoping once the caffeine wd sx lift my hormones will even out a bit better.. Gosh I cannot imagine reinstating because of caffeine ..

[[al...]]

By the way at about 1 year off I had hardly any sx left... My pregnancy was amazing.. Nothing at all.. Started drinking caffeine at 13 months off .. 4 months pregnant.. Was tired a lot

[[al...]]

http://www.denvernaturopathic.com/news/GABA.html