I hate my mind for not letting me relax

[[Be...]]

What a horrible day I had , was an absolute nightmare , stiff neck cracking like crazy , stiff painfull jaw , painfull lymph nodes  , constant post nasal drip , weird crazy thoughts , constantly obsserving myself and trying to find things to obsses about , I hate my mind , why does my mind need to obsses all the time ? My mind is  addicted to obsessing , last time I wasn't obsessing and worrying was around 20 years ago when I was 16 , since starting my withdrawel my obsessing and worrying is on a whole another level , I'm so pissed at my mind for torturing me for so many years , why can't I not worry just for one day just for one hour .., sometimes I'd be obssesing about something for a few years or months night and day  and than my mind gets bored and finds another thing to obsess about , I'm never ever not obssesing , I'm never at peace , I could use some advice and encouragement , I'm so exhausted

[[Te...]]

Your signature says you were taking 0.5 mg. of "a pill" and you're down to half of a pill, but does not specify what benzo. Klonopin, Xanax, Ativan? Can you please provide details and how much you are cutting and how  long you are holding between each cut?

 

Thanks.

[[Sv...]]

Try some meditation if you can. Are you exercising regularly?

[[Be...]]

Your signature says you were taking 0.5 mg. of "a pill" and you're down to half of a pill, but does not specify what benzo. Klonopin, Xanax, Ativan? Can you please provide details and how much you are cutting and how  long you are holding between each cut?

 

Thanks.

its clonazepam , it took me about 3 months to get down to 0.25 from 0.5mg of clonazepam , Ive been feeling awfull , really weird thinking , depersonalization , is it from the withdrawel ? i'm trying to get balow 0.25 but i'm not able to do it , very depressed

[[Be...]]

Try some meditation if you can. Are you exercising regularly?

I sometimes exercise at home but not very often , maybe once a week , I never tried meditating I don't know how , its hard to sit still , my mind is all over the place , i'm scared .

[[Be...]]

Mine has always been like this, pre-benzo. Was yours pre-benzo??

It's worse now of course..

I've often said I wish they could record what goes in in my head 24/7..

The old saying "a mind us a terrible thing to waste"..

My saying is "the mind can be a terrible thing!"

[[Sv...]]

It's normal to feel scared. Many people on BB have fear and paranoia even though there isn't anything in particular to be afraid of.

 

Try and exercise if u can. If you can tire yourself out physically it will help calm your mind down. The earlier in the day you can do it the better.

 

I hope you're feeling getter soon!

[[Te...]]

Ive been feeling awfull , really weird thinking , depersonalization , is it from the withdrawel

 

Yes, what you are feeling is from cutting your dosage. When you are down to a smaller dose it is important that you make smaller cuts and hold as long as you need to before making the next small cut. The final few cuts will be the hardest, so don't feel like you have to do things based on the calendar. Do it based on what your body is telling you.

 

Hang in there. This is hell on earth, but it does get better. I'm almost at six months off (one more week!) and while I don't feel "healed" yet, I can look back and see I've come a long, long way.

 

 

[[Wh...]]

Hi Bechlin ... During withdrawal I have listened to hundreds if not thousands of hours of guided meditations as well as Buddhist Dharma talks.  These distracted me from listening to the obsessing of my mind.  If you're interested in some links let me know and I'll be happy to introduce you to a world of folks that are keenly interested in quieting the mind and opening the heart.  This is a human problem that is greatly exaggerated when coming off benzo's.  Not believing the thoughts and being in the present moment were paramount for me to practice so I could succeed at this endeavor.  Yoga helps too and there is one for complete beginners on youtube that I follow along with frequently as well as others.  We don't want our brains to continue to rob us of the joy of living and need to get a handle on it with these practices.

 

Peace to you.

[[Be...]]

Mine has always been like this, pre-benzo. Was yours pre-benzo??

It's worse now of course..

I've often said I wish they could record what goes in in my head 24/7..

The old saying "a mind us a terrible thing to waste"..

My saying is "the mind can be a terrible thing!"

Hi

ya even before benzos I was allways obsessing but now its been even worse , I can say I never had a peace of mind  :'( ever !  I allways had crazy thoughts but now they are worse , I agree that the mind is a terrible thing for sure

[[Be...]]

It's normal to feel scared. Many people on BB have fear and paranoia even though there isn't anything in particular to be afraid of.

 

Try and exercise if u can. If you can tire yourself out physically it will help calm your mind down. The earlier in the day you can do it the better.

 

I hope you're feeling getter soon!

thanx I will try exercising more , if you other people can do it I can too I guess , I wish life was easier

[[Be...]]

Hi Bechlin ... During withdrawal I have listened to hundreds if not thousands of hours of guided meditations as well as Buddhist Dharma talks.  These distracted me from listening to the obsessing of my mind.  If you're interested in some links let me know and I'll be happy to introduce you to a world of folks that are keenly interested in quieting the mind and opening the heart.  This is a human problem that is greatly exaggerated when coming off benzo's.  Not believing the thoughts and being in the present moment were paramount for me to practice so I could succeed at this endeavor.  Yoga helps too and there is one for complete beginners on youtube that I follow along with frequently as well as others.  We don't want our brains to continue to rob us of the joy of living and need to get a handle on it with these practices.

 

Peace to you.

yes i'm very interested to learn about meditating but nothing hardcore ( I don't want to open my third eye that would scare me even more lol ) , yes please if you can tell me how to start

[[Be...]]

Ive been feeling awfull , really weird thinking , depersonalization , is it from the withdrawel

 

Yes, what you are feeling is from cutting your dosage. When you are down to a smaller dose it is important that you make smaller cuts and hold as long as you need to before making the next small cut. The final few cuts will be the hardest, so don't feel like you have to do things based on the calendar. Do it based on what your body is telling you.

 

Hang in there. This is hell on earth, but it does get better. I'm almost at six months off (one more week!) and while I don't feel "healed" yet, I can look back and see I've come a long, long way.

is my crazy thinking going to get worse ? i'm so scared I wonder if I should stay on 0.25 forever until I die , i'm scared of feeling even worse than I do now , my depersonalization is already horrible if it got any worse I couldn't handle it , what if I stay on 0.25 ?  i'm not able to go lower , I try but I get too anxious

[[na...]]

Hi there, I second the meditation and positive affirmations. I'm of course very new here and more or less brave and in the midst of it all too but am seeing how much it helps get through a bad wave or racing mind. Sometimes it is easier to come to meditation through yoga. First the asanas and after that, pranayama (breathing technique) and this should get you in such a calm state that you can meditate. That and a bath are what I sometimes the only things I can manage and of course, cooking is quieting for me too. I hope this is the kind of tense thinking that comes and goes so you can tell it: "Thank you. I welcome you. What is your message. Then you can listen and say to these unwelcome thoughts, "Now you can go". Then you can welcome peace. I know it sounds a bit new age-y but isn't that what we all are after. At least often. Allow yourself time to heal and be gentle with yourself.  Turn this inquisitive mind into finding who you are and into finding peace and hold onto the feeling when it comes so you can remember it and remind yourself that there are moments when the mind is still. Your mind is searching and it will find the right place. While waiting for a gentle wave of relaxation, it is good to show love to ourselves when we most need it. I am sure the mind will stretch and ease. Books by Stephen Levine on meditation and kindness with the self are good. He comes from a hard place too. All of the advice here is great and very useful for me too. Peace and gentle thoughts.

 

anne xo

[[Be...]]

Hi there, I second the meditation and positive affirmations. I'm of course very new here and more or less brave and in the midst of it all too but am seeing how much it helps get through a bad wave or racing mind. Sometimes it is easier to come to meditation through yoga. First the asanas and after that, pranayama (breathing technique) and this should get you in such a calm state that you can meditate. That and a bath are what I sometimes the only things I can manage and of course, cooking is quieting for me too. I hope this is the kind of tense thinking that comes and goes so you can tell it: "Thank you. I welcome you. What is your message. Then you can listen and say to these unwelcome thoughts, "Now you can go". Then you can welcome peace. I know it sounds a bit new age-y but isn't that what we all are after. At least often. Allow yourself time to heal and be gentle with yourself.  Turn this inquisitive mind into finding who you are and into finding peace and hold onto the feeling when it comes so you can remember it and remind yourself that there are moments when the mind is still. Your mind is searching and it will find the right place. While waiting for a gentle wave of relaxation, it is good to show love to ourselves when we most need it. I am sure the mind will stretch and ease. Books by Stephen Levine on meditation and kindness with the self are good. He comes from a hard place too. All of the advice here is great and very useful for me too. Peace and gentle thoughts.

 

anne xo

Thanx I will look those relaxation and breathing techniques you mentioned , I really like the idea of saying to my crazy thoughts " I welcome you , what is your message ? Now you can go "  it sounds great and I will try it , thanx a lot

[[Wh...]]

Hi Bechlin ... During withdrawal I have listened to hundreds if not thousands of hours of guided meditations as well as Buddhist Dharma talks.  These distracted me from listening to the obsessing of my mind.  If you're interested in some links let me know and I'll be happy to introduce you to a world of folks that are keenly interested in quieting the mind and opening the heart.  This is a human problem that is greatly exaggerated when coming off benzo's.  Not believing the thoughts and being in the present moment were paramount for me to practice so I could succeed at this endeavor.  Yoga helps too and there is one for complete beginners on youtube that I follow along with frequently as well as others.  We don't want our brains to continue to rob us of the joy of living and need to get a handle on it with these practices.

 

Peace to you.

yes i'm very interested to learn about meditating but nothing hardcore ( I don't want to open my third eye that would scare me even more lol ) , yes please if you can tell me how to start

 

LOL ... I wonder where you got that fear of your third eye opening?  It's really not a scary thing if that should happen to you in your life, it simply means you begin to see things about yourself and others that are enlightening, not scary at all and quite natural.  Don't you think that if we have a third eye, it's meant to be open?

 

Anyways the internet is loaded with information on meditation.  You may want to start with Jon Kabat-Zinn and Mindfulness Meditation, you simply put that in the youtube search field and several come up.  I don't want to overload you.  I really liked listening to Tara Brach on youtube as her voice was comforting to me.  You will need to find what works best for you.  She is the author of "Radical Acceptance".  Some people like Pema Chodron ... really there are thousands of teachers out there.

 

There is also this site:  http://www.dharmaseed.org/teachers/  If you click on teachers you will see there are many there also and lots of talks to listen to.  Will Kabat-Zinn is good as he talks about the squirrelly monkey-mind quite a bit.  I'm not interested in Buddhism as a religious practice and so I avoid the heavy duty monks for the most part.

 

There is also the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

 

Here is one link to a body scan meditation:  https://archive.org/details/MCullenBodyScanMeditation  I could go on and on.

 

Meditation is relaxation and letting go, nothing to fear.

 

Find what makes sense or feels right to you by sampling the fare. 

[[Be...]]

I've heard of ET before, but I can't recall what it was, thanks for the links

[[Be...]]

Hi Bechlin ... During withdrawal I have listened to hundreds if not thousands of hours of guided meditations as well as Buddhist Dharma talks.  These distracted me from listening to the obsessing of my mind.  If you're interested in some links let me know and I'll be happy to introduce you to a world of folks that are keenly interested in quieting the mind and opening the heart.  This is a human problem that is greatly exaggerated when coming off benzo's.  Not believing the thoughts and being in the present moment were paramount for me to practice so I could succeed at this endeavor.  Yoga helps too and there is one for complete beginners on youtube that I follow along with frequently as well as others.  We don't want our brains to continue to rob us of the joy of living and need to get a handle on it with these practices.

 

Peace to you.

yes i'm very interested to learn about meditating but nothing hardcore ( I don't want to open my third eye that would scare me even more lol ) , yes please if you can tell me how to start

 

LOL ... I wonder where you got that fear of your third eye opening?  It's really not a scary thing if that should happen to you in your life, it simply means you begin to see things about yourself and others that are enlightening, not scary at all and quite natural.  Don't you think that if we have a third eye, it's meant to be open?

 

Anyways the internet is loaded with information on meditation.  You may want to start with Jon Kabat-Zinn and Mindfulness Meditation, you simply put that in the youtube search field and several come up.  I don't want to overload you.  I really liked listening to Tara Brach on youtube as her voice was comforting to me.  You will need to find what works best for you.  She is the author of "Radical Acceptance".  Some people like Pema Chodron ... really there are thousands of teachers out there.

 

There is also this site:  http://www.dharmaseed.org/teachers/  If you click on teachers you will see there are many there also and lots of talks to listen to.  Will Kabat-Zinn is good as he talks about the squirrelly monkey-mind quite a bit.  I'm not interested in Buddhism as a religious practice and so I avoid the heavy duty monks for the most part.

 

There is also the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

 

Here is one link to a body scan meditation:  https://archive.org/details/MCullenBodyScanMeditation  I could go on and on.

 

Meditation is relaxation and letting go, nothing to fear.

 

Find what makes sense or feels right to you by sampling the fare. 

thanx for the links I will check them out

[[Wh...]]

You are welcome.  Go easy.