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FROM HELL TO WELL


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aaaww thanks honey that means a lot I just remember how much hope they gave me and I just couldn't not write the truth.  So happy you are feeling good so proud of you. xoxo
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Great to hear that you are better :D. I had a bad reaction to Kalonapin and was never supposed to be put on it. I had pain and my pain is long gone. I am 5' and 118 pounds and was taking .50 mg for 10 months until I was able to get off of it and it tortured me from the start. My problem, as it seems yours was, that the drug caused issues before you cold turkeyed it. I have been off for 12 1/2 months, titrated the majority of it and was told to just stop taking the last small bit as I had to get it out of my body asap. Now what is left is vibrations, muscle throbbing and nerve pain from a shocked CNS  :tickedoff:. Very distressing. Comes back every other night and lasts through the day. Then I am fine for about 30 plus hours. I can't wait until this ends. Thank-you for your story. I hope my story is just as successful and ends soon.  :thumbsup:
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Lizzy

 

Hey,  I didn't read anything here I was just so excited to see your name. I promise to read your success story but I will pm you first.

You disappeared on me!

Love carol

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You people are the most wonderful group of people.  I feel i have to apologise for disappearing I just could seriously not take hearing anything painful ever again at that time and had to leave everything benzo related until i was well enough to deal with it.  I guess I had benzo burnout.  Im sorry to everyone for doing that but I kind of had to look after myself Im sure you all understand that.  Thanks so much for all the comments and good thoughts means so much to me  :smitten:
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Lizzy,

 

This was what I needed to see this morning. I am stuck again and sick. I know I will get out of this but stalling is really making me down. Good for you. I hope to get there and come back to tell everyone.

 

Congrats from Colorado

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Colorado Chick

 

Im sorry you are suffering so much.  There is no easy way out unfortunately the only way out is through this insidious mess.  There is nothing like benzo sickness.  dig deep you can do this.

 

Lizzy

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You people are the most wonderful group of people.  I feel i have to apologise for disappearing I just could seriously not take hearing anything painful ever again at that time and had to leave everything benzo related until i was well enough to deal with it.  I guess I had benzo burnout.  Im sorry to everyone for doing that but I kind of had to look after myself Im sure you all understand that.  Thanks so much for all the comments and good thoughts means so much to me  :smitten:

 

The same thing has hit many of us who do eventually return to help.  Normal and healthy reaction.  :smitten:

 

 

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Oh my Lizzy,

 

We go back to the TRAP days, two years ago you were in the hospital over Christmas. You were clinging to life to place yourself there.  I remember feeling relief when you went there, for I so feared for you. 

 

Oh Lizzy it makes my heart so happy to see how far you have come. You aren't there yet, it will get even better. Slowly it just happens without you even realizing it - the fine tuning I call it now.

 

I'm also so proud of you Lizzy, you have dug in and fought not only for your life but for the changes happening in it now.  You are well loved and missed around here, don't let that make you feel guilty.  Going away you did what you needed to do, I understand that as I did myself. We all have to do what we must to survive this and heal the best we can.

 

19 months - you have come so far - no turning back now - that's all behind you.  You told me once "it is something that happened to us but not who we are." I agree with that. It happened to us but it doesn't rule us anymore. We claimed our lives back and became more than the person we were when we were surviving in benzo hell 24/7.  There is life after benzo w/d - there is recovery and moving out amongst the real world again.

 

love you my Lizzy,

Sally

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey Lizzy...never forgot you girl...you are seriously special person...I love that you are a little naughty but I know you have a heart of gold...thankyou for being my friend...you really helped...and you are still helping paying it all forward...so happy for you, and your new man is a very lucky guy.

                                                                                                                          Love, Colleen

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  • 2 months later...

Im back to update im nearly 23 months off tomorrow and i thought i should and challis thought it might be a good idea to let you all know that setbacks do happen.  i have been doing well for a few months and then i was subjected to a great amount of stress and on top of hormonal issues i was thrown into a horrible wave.  This wave i feel im just coming out of and it bought me to my knees with fear depression and anxiety out of this world it felt like i was right back at the start again which of course i wasn't but i was so terrified which is why I had to come back to bb and get some much needed support.  Today i woke with cortisol rushing through me but i seem to be getting over it.  my biggest fear is that im going to have a nervous breakdown like maybe my nervous system is so compromised it cant take anymore.  i have been told by my good friend mandala that im definitely in a wave and its ok time will pass for sure.

 

Never give up buddies i have seen the light it is there you must believe it.  Do not see this as anything to worry about i just want to keep it real and let you know setbacks do happen.

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Lizzy...I didn't know you on BBs, but this is a wonderfully written,  beautifully inspirational and awesomely encouraging success. story. Thank you so much for coming back to post it. I am into month 4 ...focusing on month 6...your story is giving me so much hope.

...Congratulations on your happy strong new life.  We are going to hear you roar I am sure. Go out there and live your life out loud.  cause a little trouble and help anyone you can...You have how'd so many of us with your success story. It is the success stories that keep me going.

.....Happy Life to you Lizzie.  ..Coop

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Absolutely fantastic! :smitten: :smitten: A must read for all Benzo Buddies!!

 

Lizzy,  :clap::hug::highfive::balloon::mybuddy::yippee::smitten: :smitten:

 

It is indeed a wonderful world & life after benzos.

 

Much love to you...........T2

very good , but these stories make me never want to try to get off , last thing i want is a seizure im not stroing enough at 54 and on ativan for 20 years dop endure any of this type of health problems, robert
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Robert

Are you doing well on your dose?

Have you started a blog?  I am 56 and you will find that A lot and maybe the majority of people here are over 50.

 

Carol

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thanks guys for writing your words of encouragement.

 

Its a long battle to get off benzos but life is amazing afterwards.  I just was recovering beautifully for months and then after lots of stress I was plunged back into the worst wave ive had.  no one would believe this shit if you told them well they actually don't so unless you have suffered you have no idea how hard this is.  anyway I have to tell you that today I woke up and im absolutely back to nearly normal.  Like honestly the last five days were horrible and I had made up my mind that my life was over again and that I had to give up school until I was able to go back again and who knew when that would be.  Today though I woke up and thought screw that im going back and I left home this morning at 7.30 and did a huge colour correction on this chicks hair and a cut and it took 9 1/2 hours of straight work I didn't even have a break and did a perfect job.  So that's the nature of healing CRAZZZZZYYYY but I wouldn't have done it without my friends here at bb.  Hold tight to the forum and reach out when you need to special thanks the last few days for good mates here I don't know where id be without you all.

 

Stay focused on the end result and that is a healed mind free of chemicals. 

 

love to all Lizzy xoxo

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Thanks for the update lizzy :hug:

 

I am so pleased you are doing well. I know you had a rough time of it and so deserve to have a wonderful life from here on in

 

I hope it keeps on getting better for you

 

Magrita

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hey lovely thanks so much one shall never forget your sweet self.  cant beat the peeps are here that's for sure we may be temporarily messed up but the awesomeness shines through each and every one around this place.  Hope your life is wonderful and your happy and healthy xoxox
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Your welcome please keep reading because its all true.  I can promise you everything gets better Two weeks ago after feeling nearly healed I had the worst wave for the longest time it was so scary out of nowhere but now ive turned a big corner not only do I feel well I feel better than ever.  Stay strong and never ever ever give up.  Life is so amazing and you will feel wonderful again.  Im taking off for a while I need to stay focused on my study and living my life.  Please reach out to the benzo community you will always find someone to help.

 

Lizzy

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hey lovely thanks so much one shall never forget your sweet self.  cant beat the peeps are here that's for sure we may be temporarily messed up but the awesomeness shines through each and every one around this place.  Hope your life is wonderful and your happy and healthy xoxox

 

I am doing just fine Lizzy, I will never forget you!...You are right about the people here. they are the best!  Heroes they are, like yourself...I have seen you having a real bad time but somehow always manage a post of support for another suffering member. Thank you for popping in and udating it will help so many members who are struggling

 

Good luck with your studies, and have a wonderful life.

 

((hugs))

 

Magrita :smitten:

 

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