I need help and advice from anyone that has reinstated or had success with AD's

[[Du...]]

Im over four months out, and still in hell. I have had no windows, although there have been some very basic improvements, overall, there has been say 5 percent improvement and I am suffering like no tomorrow. I dont know how long I can keep this up now, I am completely burnt out. I had not slept more than one hour a night in over four months, I suffer viabrating with adrenaline surges and severe anxiety all day, it does not stop. The last few days have been even worse, my brain wants to explode out of my head, this is a completely new symptom and the anxiety has gone bezerk, I never thought it could actually get worse. It is mostly all physical.

 

I am coming to the conclusion that I need to reinstate, or move to a calming anti depressant like Lexapro or Remeron. As you can see from my signature I have been put on lots of various sedative drugs over th years, so no doubt have been kindling and have neurological damage that has worsened the benzo CT effects.

 

Could anyone who has successfully done either of these methods let me know how it went? I have read all the failed stories on the search function, I know the risks, but Im wondering if there are success stories out there that I have not read? I cant cope anymore, I dont particularly want to top myself but god it seems like the better option. I thought I had strength seeing it through all those months, but im run out, theres just nothing left, and im literally crawling out of my skin.

 

Any help or advice would be appreciated!

[[In...]]

Don't really have any suggestions but want to lend you a hand of support. Tomorrow might be a whole lot better, hang in there! As you told me a week or two ago "Im having a better day today ask me tomorrow and ill probably sound less optimistic, maybe three days a week i just want to die."

 

Only thing I can say is I did take a small dose of my gabapentin 3 different times during the first month and it took the edge off for me. Not a recommendation or anything on my part, just something I did. Don't know if it hurts recovery or not and I've seen many others say it was no help to them. Take care, you are still getting better!

[[fo...]]

OMG, that sounds just awful Dubjam. Like too many CT confused your entire system. Yes, insomnia has been my number 1 complaint, usually with anxiety and depression. This was fixed several times with therapy, and the old AD Norpramin. Sleep usually returned within a month, plus a whole lot of annoying side effects. Usually the AD was gradually discontinued after 6 months, but the sleep remained good. Ativan was used sparingly, never more than .5 mg during the initial phase of recovery so as not to have too much insomnia. Now I have the problem of no longer being able to use Norpramin and it took too long to find a new AD, thus my unfortunate dependence on Ativan, which should not have happened. I really hope you find something or some way to re establish your sleep.

[[Du...]]

Thanks guys for the replies..

 

Inadaze, what did you find the gabapetin did? Im fearful of shotgunning my CNS with more drugs due to thats what doctors have done to me over the years, thinking that maybe a 6-12 month stint on Remeron might be a better option. It never did knock me out when i took it before though....

 

Fog Pills - Yeah its terrible, ive been waiting and waiting for improvements and I didnt expect to be brought right back to the first month this week, I have probably had the worst week in this entire process.

 

I could even cope with the sleep if I wasnt viabrating or bouncing off the walls during the day, and the fatigue which did get a little better is now back intensly, I can barely walk up the stairs and im constantly out of breath (considering I was a karate practitioner and mountain biker training hard a month before i started on benzos I dont think its fitness causing this) and the backpain. God the back pain, i can barely move, everytime I get up I have to yell out it hurts that much. I never had back pain before benzos.

 

Im so drained. I just dont know what to do for the best.

[[Cl...]]

Hey bro

 

Sorry to hear ur suffering so much, I know what ya mean. My symptoms have been different from you in that mine are almost completely mental but there were months where I was laying in bed praying to sleep not so i could rest, but so God could take me. Every day is just a battle to survive until the next day.

I cant recommend u any medication because I stay away from everything but I can tell u that its not weird to be feeling so shitty at 4 months out. As much as it sux, it's kind of reassuring to know that your still pretty early in the game and not at all unusual to feel like this.

I'm sure someone here will chirp up with some medication help, I know a lot here have had success with ADs 

Hang right bro

[[In...]]

Dubjam,

 

Gabapentin was prescribed for me for anxiety prior to using klonopin. It worked at keeping the anxiety down but made me super sleepy and the next day was DP/DR land after taking just 100mg (super low dose, I'm sensitive to all of it over the past year). Couldn't continue with the gabapentin so went forward with klonopin since it was also working at the time without such drowsiness......

 

Still had the bottle of gabapentin around during the first few weeks of klonopin withdrawal and the few times I took one it knocked the anxiety down and put me to sleep. Again, my body is super sensitive to all meds now so what worked for me probably won't work for most others. I had not discovered this board early in my cold turkey and didn't know it was bad to take the gabapentin. Trying my damndest to stay away from it now, been like 5 weeks since that rescue dose. Antidepressants may help take the edge off. My body got sick on every one I tried in 2012 early 2013 (8 or 9 different ones) so that is no longer an option for me. Take care with whatever you decide, I hope others have some better advice but also many will probably say time is all that will help. And that might be the only answer, time.

[[Di...]]

Dubjam,

 

Gabapentin was prescribed for me for anxiety prior to using klonopin. It worked at keeping the anxiety down but made me super sleepy and the next day was DP/DR land after taking just 100mg (super low dose, I'm sensitive to all of it over the past year). Couldn't continue with the gabapentin so went forward with klonopin since it was also working at the time without such drowsiness......

 

Still had the bottle of gabapentin around during the first few weeks of klonopin withdrawal and the few times I took one it knocked the anxiety down and put me to sleep. Again, my body is super sensitive to all meds now so what worked for me probably won't work for most others. I had not discovered this board early in my cold turkey and didn't know it was bad to take the gabapentin. Trying my damndest to stay away from it now, been like 5 weeks since that rescue dose. Antidepressants may help take the edge off. My body got sick on every one I tried in 2012 early 2013 (8 or 9 different ones) so that is no longer an option for me. Take care with whatever you decide, I hope others have some better advice but also many will probably say time is all that will help. And that might be the only answer, time.

 

I think Gabapentin is the same as neurontin (generic).  I took it for awhile 2-3 years ago for pinched nerves in my neck (before any benzo), and it made me extremely sleepy too.  I could only take it at bedtime.

[[ea...]]

Dub,

I am so sorry youre having a bad time right now. You are one of my personal BB heros, and you know why.

Please try not to reinstate. Youve gotten this far...it has to get better. Didnt you tell me this, not long ago? We both have to keep on with this.

east

[[as...]]

Dubjam,

 

  I  had  a lot  of  back pain  when  I started  my  taper.  A  heating  pad  really  helped.  A  warm  bath  helped  as  well  but  with  your  anxiety  as  high as  it  is  I know  it's  almost  impossible  to  just  sit  in  the  tub. I  went  through the  early  morning  adrenal  jumps  as  well.  Yes,  it  is a  horrid  experience.  It is  calming  down.  I  have  started  using a  sleep  mask  so  that  early  morning  cortisol  jumps  don't  start  until  I  take  it  off  and  they  are  less  severe. I  also  am  4  months  out  and  the  insomnia  has  been  non-stop. The  little  sleep  I  am  getting  does  not  lend  itself  to  REM  sleep.  What  has  helped  is  keeping  my  laptop  on  all  night  and  listening  to  nature  videos ,  sounds  of  thunderstorms  and  rain.  These  things  are  non- invasive  and  have  helped.  Good Luck!

[[Du...]]

Thanks everyone...so many people recommend getting a bath, god if only I could, ever since a CT I  have nt been able to get a bath, completely wipes me out, causes untold amounts of adrenaline surges and panic and makes sleeping far far worse. Its only been in the last month of so ive been able to get a shower a few times a week, it used to and still does if i get one everyday does exactly the same as a bath.

 

I just dont know what to do. Because of CT'ing Remeron before Im worried about going back on it. I think the gabapetin might not be the best thing to try either. I thought back in January that maybe by May I would at least be out of the thick of it, but no, still in here 95percent. I still cant even eat without it putting me in a panic attack/adrenaline surge.

 

Maybe I am going to have to reinstate the valium. I cant believe its been almost six months since I last took one of those, and I might have to start again.

[[Du...]]

bump

[[...]]

I have a similar problem with insomnia that was never really fixed with any drug, and since coming off the benzos it's worse than ever. But it is getting better the further I stay away from the meds, little by little. I am not going to recommend reinstating antidepressants, Valium or anything else. In fact, my personal recommendation would be to NOT take any drugs whatsoever, although the decision is yours of course.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but I don't believe there is a drug that will cure your insomnia or your other symptoms or it would have already, and the more you mess with your CNS the less you will sleep. First thing you got to do is spend LESS time in bed. No more than 6-7 hours, and always get up at the same hour every day. If you're already doing that, continue doing it. Other measures won't even stand a chance without it. Do NOTHING in your bed except sleep. When you're awake, get up and go to another room and do something to put your mind off the fact that you can't sleep. Try to stay active during the day, and try not to think about how little sleep you got and how your next night is going to be. Eat healtily and avoid ALL caffeine all day, and all sugar after lunch. It won't make you better instantly but it's a start, and eventually sleep should come back. That's what I'm constantly telling myself, and so far I've made little progress but it's progress nevertheless, and I really believe in these things but I also know my brain went through a lot with all the pills and it needs time to recover. And once I start hanging out in bed for 9-10 hours a night I stop sleeping altogether, so that's a no-go for sure.

[[Sa...]]

So its really very very slow next time around?