An experience like no other

[[sa...]]

Thank you.  I so hope you are right!

[[tu...]]

PJ:

 

Thanks for the encouragement.  You would think after all these many months I would learn to be patient and just settle into accepting that this is going to take awhile.  But, alas, I still struggle against it at times and learning this lesson of acceptance.  One I am pretty sure this experience is meant to teach me (if you believe in that sort of thing & I do).

 

I spoke to my mom today about the same thing I asked you about (pushing through the fear or accepting that I just need to be patient while I heal) and she gave me similar advice.  I am going to try very hard to let go of all my expectations, for now at least.

 

Thanks for always being there with a calm and supporting voice.  I am so grateful for all you kind people that stay here on BB and guide those of struggling to our own healing.  From the bottom of my heart I thank you!!!! :smitten:

 

TG

 

p.s. Go Irish!

[[...]]

Hey PJ,

 

Just stopping by to wish the Fighting Irish all the best tonight. They've had such a wonderful season. They are winners no matter how tonight's game comes out.

 

But I'm hoping I get to congratulate you in the wee hours. 

Flip

 

 

Thanks Flip.   You are a WINNER, no matter how the game turns out.  I will be back after the game with the good, the bad, and the ugly aspects of the game.

 

pj 

 

Flip  there is no joy in Mudville tonight.   The mighty Fighting Irish of Notre Dame have struck out ... defeated by the Big Bad Boys from Bama.  I'm not really all that bummed out, perhaps a little disappointed, but i'm still as happy as a Lepreachaun.      

 

Notre Dames best wasn't good enough to beat the well prepared and well seasoned power house known as the Crimson tide of Alabama who deserved to win the B C S championship.  

 

I want to thank all you guys who joined me in wishing the Irish well. You all are a real class act.

 

Off to the kitchen I go to to fetch me a slice of MoonPie to drown my sorrow.   My best friend, my Border Collie, Charlie can't have chocolate, so I will give him a Pup-Peroni stick, and together we will console ourselves over our loss, and wait patiently for next year when the Crimson Tide will turn to green, and the Irish will be victorious.  I wish you guys were here to join us.  I can get a little carried away when it comes to my admiration of Notre Dame.  Thank you for your indulgence.   

 

To all you good folks who are still struggling, still wondering, and still doubting if you will ever heal, don't be discouraged. Before you know it, that light at the end of the tunnel will be brighter than a thousand candles. You will be healed, and when you look into the mirror that you once walked by without a glance for fear of scaring yourself ... you will now stop and say to that confident face looking back at you, "welcome back, my friend ... I missed you."

 

Peace

 

pj     

 

   

[[...]]

PJ:

 

Thanks for the encouragement.  You would think after all these many months I would learn to be patient and just settle into accepting that this is going to take awhile.  But, alas, I still struggle against it at times and learning this lesson of acceptance.  One I am pretty sure this experience is meant to teach me (if you believe in that sort of thing & I do).

 

I spoke to my mom today about the same thing I asked you about (pushing through the fear or accepting that I just need to be patient while I heal) and she gave me similar advice.  I am going to try very hard to let go of all my expectations, for now at least.

 

Thanks for always being there with a calm and supporting voice.  I am so grateful for all you kind people that stay here on BB and guide those of struggling to our own healing.  From the bottom of my heart I thank you!!!! :smitten:

 

TG

 

p.s. Go Irish!

 

You're welcome, TG  Thank you for the go Irish.  They really got slammed tonight.

[[Fl...]]

Aww, PJ, I'm sorry!  :'( :'( :'(

 

You have a great attitude about it. A real sportsman!

 

Thanks for the well wishes to everyone. I'm looking forward to walking by that mirror and pausing to admire my healed reflection!

 

To next year, my friend!

Flip

[[ge...]]

hi PJ

Wondering how you felt month 5-6. I feel as if I am backsliding and very frustrated as a result. instead of the blatant fear I felt at the beginning it is now more subtle as my mind and cognition are so cloudy. I also have some days of agitation and others of extreme fatigue. can you relate to this at about five months off? thank you in advance 

[[...]]

hi PJ

Wondering how you felt month 5-6. I feel as if I am backsliding and very frustrated as a result. instead of the blatant fear I felt at the beginning it is now more subtle as my mind and cognition are so cloudy. I also have some days of agitation and others of extreme fatigue. can you relate to this at about five months off? thank you in advance 

 

Hi there

 

As I recall, at 5 or 6 months, I was a long way from being healed.  I was cold all the time, ached all over, couldn't sleep, and the fatigue, frustration, lack of motivation, and foggy mind were ever present.  I thought for sure that at 6 months I would be done with withdrawals, but that was not to be.  It took another 9 months before I posted a success story. 

 

The fact that I cold turkied Ativan and Ambien at the same time is probably why it took me so long to fully recover.  It's a worn out phrase, I know, but when it comes to benzos, we are indeed all so very different.  Just keep a positive attitude ... easier said than done ... You could be completely healed a month from now, and I sincerely hope that you are. 

 

It's such a darn shame that anyone has to suffer the pain and indignity of withdrawals from a drug that is so widely prescribed, and so misunderstood by the medical community. 

 

The best of luck to you.  Take good care of yourself, cause complete recovery may be just around the corner.   

 

 

[[...]]

Aww, PJ, I'm sorry!  :'( :'( :'(

 

You have a great attitude about it. A real sportsman!

Thanks for the well wishes to everyone. I'm looking forward to walking by that mirror and pausing to admire my healed reflection!

 

To next year, my friend!

Flip

Thank you, Flip

 

Have I ever told you what a class act you are?  You are a class act! I wish you all the best that life has to offer.  You are a good friend to so many folks around here, who appreciate you more than you can ever know.

 

Your friend

 

pj

 

 

[[mi...]]

PJ,

Sorry about the Fighting Irish.  I was rooting for them.  Tired of seeing the SEC clean up all the time.  I was at the ND campus once.  Quite beautiful.  Thanks for continuing to post experiences and feedback.  Your last correspondence between you and Turtlegirl was very helpful as I had the same questions. As always, much appreciated.

 

Thanks,

M 

[[...]]

Hi M,

 

How are you doing?  I turned the game off shortly after the start of the second half.  It was too painful to watch them get manhandled like they were.  The SEC is definitely a powerhouse with mega talent. 

 

I'm glad that you found my post to turtlegirl helpful.  Like you, and everybody else that comes on this thread, she is very special to me.  I want everyone to recover and have the happy, productive life experience that they deserve to have.

 

The Notre Dame campus is indeed very beautiful.

 

You take care now.

 

pj 

[[St...]]

Dear PJ,

 

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement to so many.  You may be writing to one but it is being spread out to numerous other readers.

 

PJ I know that you healed at 15 months like Jenny did.  I am at 16 months and have hit a totally new stage.  I got the flu two times in a month, and it just knocked me. I am better physically but this past week I just sit, sit all day.  I have lost my drive to get up and get dressed, eat, do anything around the house.  I was always getting dressed and putting on my makeup and caring about how I looked. I was doing things around the house. I haven't even taken down Christmas.  I just don't care PJ. 

 

Did you ever have a time like this?  I know you say attitude is so important, and I believe it also. I don't know where mine has gone.

 

love,

Sally 

[[...]]

Top of the mornin' to you,

 

To have the flu twice in a month is enough to make anyone a little depressed.  But, I think you, like many other folks, may be experiencing a case of those nasty, post holiday, winter time blahs. 

 

Day after day we must contend with so many outside influences in our lives.  We must do the same mundane things over and over again.  Do the laundry, buy the groceries, clean the house, cook the same old meals, pay the bills, put up with broken appliances, noisy neighbors, and crowded freeways full of rude drivers.  It's no wonder there are days when we just want to pull the covers up over our head and stay in our nest where it is warm and secure, and say the heck with it all.   

 

Like most women, you are probably the main caregiver to the loved ones in your life.  Besides being the chief cook and bottle washer, you are, more often than not, the family arbitrator, the mender of hurt feelings, and the moderator who must settle family squabbles.  You love your family, and they love you, but there comes a time when you have to do something to please yourself.  Dealing with withdrawals as long as you have, you need a reprieve from the mundane.

 

Grab a girlfriend, and you two go to a hotel for a weekend and be pampered.  Eat what you want, do what you want.  Sleep until noon, lounge around the pool, be a kid again.  You will be amazed in the way your outlook will change, and how recharged and energized you will become.

 

When you go back home to your family, hopefully, they will appreciate you more than they ever have, because they will realize what a selfless, and giving person you are, in all that you do for them. 

 

Not knowing you or you family situation, I, of course, have been generalizing.  I guess what I am trying to convey to you, is that taking time for yourself, to do what you want to do, not what you always have to do, is so very important in achieving a happy, balanced life.

 

You take good care of yourself.  You are a kind, sensitve, and thoughtful woman.  You can be very proud of those fine attributes.

 

pj

 

edit for errors

[[St...]]

Thank you PJ for your response.

 

Yes having the flu and then post holiday blues are probably contributing to this. Seeing what you wrote made me so thankful of my husband and family. They rally around and allow me to sit if that is what I need.  I think you are right, it is a combo of several factors.

 

I have to push a little, pamper myself a little and rest, eat, etc and this too will go away.

 

Thank you for your time and words.  You are a good man PJ.  I always picture you riding your horse. I think that would be so therapeutic.

 

Best be with you,

hugs,

Sally 

[[...]]

You're welcome, Sally

 

That little paint in my avatar is not my horse, although it is the spitting image of a little paint that I had when, in highschool, I lived with a very kind family who owned a ranch.  I still go riding whenever I can, but with my work schedule, maintaining a horse of my own is not in the cards at this time in my life.  When I am able to retire or shorten my workload, I will get another paint just like that one.  Riding a horse is indeed, very therapeutic.

 

It sounds like you have a wonderful, supportive family.  A good and kind family is a blessing, for sure.  I hope you feel better real soon.   When you feel like you have to accomplish everything all at once, just remember that if God had wanted everything done today he wouldn't have invented tomorrow.

 

Wise words, indeed.  I don't recall where I heard those words, but they stuck with me.  Thank you for your kind words.

 

pj   

[[...]]

pj  my friend  iam 1 year off now alot batter feel good  normal my success story coming soon thx for ur help buddy

[[...]]

Hi there hoda,

 

Glad you stopped by, been wondering about you.  Having followed your progress for a very long time, to read your upcoming success story will be a pleasure.

 

Your friend

 

pj

[[...]]

To the guests who are checking out the various forums on this site, and may be considering joining BenzoBuddies, rest assured that this is a very safe and secure site.  The benzobuddies team, the administrators, and the moderators are all very kind and caring people who unselfishly volunteer their time to keep it that way.

 

Twenty- three months ago, after having lurked around BenzoBuddies for two months, 'getting a feel for the place', I was so impressed with how unitimidating, and how kind and understanding all the folks were on this site, that I decided to forget my fear of the unknown, and take the plunge and become a member. 

 

Having never tweeted, and never having had an account on Facebook, I was a neophyte when it came to internet forums, so I was feeling quite lost and all alone when I logged on for the very first time.  Then along came Pamster, a former administrator, with a heart of gold, and the soul of Saint, who welcomed me to BenzoBuddies. I knew then, that I had made the correct decision in my joining benzoBuddies.

 

Becoming a part of this unique site turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I received a refresher course about the things that really matter in life; helping others when they need help the most, and being a friend to somebody who may be temporarily friendless.  Being here has confirmed my belief in how unselfish, how compassionate, how understanding, how decent , and how respectful, and non-judgemental people can be. 

 

Being on this site has confirmed my belief that when people are suffering and hurting so much to the point that they may want to give up ... their courage, and their indomitable spirit will not let them give up.  Their wounded, and weakened spirit may crack a little, but it will never break, because in the grand design of things, we tend to get stronger and more determined than ever when we have poured our heart and soul into our wanting to succeed. 

 

TO DEFEAT THAT BENZO DEMON ... YOU MUST KEEP ON FIGHTING ... YOU MUST HANG ON WITH TENACITY OF A FEROCIOUS BULLDOG! 

 

Many people have come and gone from here, mysteriously disappearing like lost souls on a ghostship, never to be heard from again.  Many of them, because of their infectious personality, and their kindness, have taken a little piece of our heart with them.  I often wonder, and ask myself; "Why did they leave?"  "Were did they go?"   

 

My hope is that most of them left because they had HEALED.  Contributing a large part in that healing process were the folks at BenzoBuddies who supported them when no one else would ... understood them when no one else would ... had confidence in them, and loved them when no one else would ...This gave them the strength, the courage, and the will power to persevere, and to stay strong, thus, helping them to recover from their encounter with benzos, allowing them to get their lives back again.

 

They left quietly and as inconspicuously as they deemed necessary ... not wanting to relive or revisit the pain and misery of withdrawals ... ever again. 

 

I do not believe that anyone who has ever been affiliated with this unique site, can ever, and will probably never, completely forget this place.  I know that it has left an indelible mark on my heart, that can never be erased.

 

All you folks, whether you are new here or have been here for awhile, take heart.  You all WILL heal.  As sure as the world will keep on turning, and as sure as a newborn baby is our assurance that life will go on ... you are going to heal.   

 

pj

 

 

 

 

[[...]]

hi pj yea my friend iwas in the  store try to fix some problems there  plus igot new babe so it was new actions happening    ,                   

[[...]]

hi pj yea my friend iwas in the  store try to fix some problems there  plus igot new babe so it was new actions happening    ,                 

 

Hi hoda,

 

I don't quite understand all that you are saying.  Does babe mean that you got a new girlfriend?   Anyhow, did you get the problems fixed at your store?

 

pj

[[Re...]]

To the guests who are checking out the various forums on this site, and may be considering joining BenzoBuddies, rest assured that this is a very safe and secure site.  The benzobuddies team, the administrators, and the moderators are all very kind and caring people who unselfishly volunteer their time to keep it that way.

 

Twenty- three months ago, after having lurked around BenzoBuddies for two months, 'getting a feel for the place', I was so impressed with how unitimidating, and how kind and understanding all the folks were on this site, that I decided to forget my fear of the unknown, and take the plunge and become a member. 

 

Having never tweeted, and never having had an account on Facebook, I was a neophyte when it came to internet forums, so I was feeling quite lost and all alone when I logged on for the very first time.  Then along came Pamster, a former administrator, with a heart of gold, and the soul of Saint, who welcomed me to BenzoBuddies. I knew then, that I had made the correct decision in my joining benzoBuddies.

 

Becoming a part of this unique site turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I received a refresher course about the things that really matter in life; helping others when they need help the most, and being a friend to somebody who may be temporarily friendless.  Being here has confirmed my belief in how unselfish, how compassionate, how understanding, how decent , and how respectful, and non-judgemental people can be. 

 

Being on this site has confirmed my belief that when people are suffering and hurting so much to the point that they may want to give up ... their courage, and their indomitable spirit will not let them give up.  Their wounded, and weakened spirit may crack a little, but it will never break, because in the grand design of things, we tend to get stronger and more determined than ever when we have poured our heart and soul into our wanting to succeed. 

 

TO DEFEAT THAT BENZO DEMON ... YOU MUST KEEP ON FIGHTING ... YOU MUST HANG ON WITH TENACITY OF A FEROCIOUS BULLDOG! 

 

Many people have come and gone from here, mysteriously disappearing like lost souls on a ghostship, never to be heard from again.  Many of them, because of their infectious personality, and their kindness, have taken a little piece of our heart with them.  I often wonder, and ask myself; "Why did they leave?"  "Were did they go?"   

 

My hope is that most of them left because they had HEALED.  Contributing a large part in that healing process were the folks at BenzoBuddies who supported them when no one else would ... understood them when no one else would ... had confidence in them, and loved them when no one else would ...This gave them the strength, the courage, and the will power to persevere, and to stay strong, thus, helping them to recover from their encounter with benzos, allowing them to get their lives back again.

 

They left quietly and as inconspicuously as they deemed necessary ... not wanting to relive or revisit the pain and misery of withdrawals ... ever again. 

 

I do not believe that anyone who has ever been affiliated with this unique site, can ever, and will probably never, completely forget this place.  I know that it has left an indelible mark on my heart, that can never be erased.

 

All you folks, whether you are new here or have been here for awhile, take heart.  You all WILL heal.  As sure as the world will keep on turning, and as sure as a newborn baby is our assurance that life will go on ... you are going to heal.   

 

pj

 

 

These words really hit my heart today PJ, THANK YOU kind sir.  Many nights you and M. kept me distracted and sane by playing word games and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.  I am getting close now to being benzo free and much of it has to do with this site and the good people that are on it.  You are a gem and I will never forget your kindness.

 

love,

Renny

[[ge...]]

hi PJ 

 

I have a quick question... Thank you for responding to my last one btw 

Lately I have been having bad cognitive impairments like my brain cannot think outside of what is right in front of me (poor memory, poor concentration) but the most troubling is that I cannot assimilate too much at once or my brain almost short circuits and 'shuts off'. When it gets too stimulated, which happens easily, it just goes blank esp. In emotionally charged situations or with a lot of people around it gets worse. Can you relate to this? It is quite troubling to me because it keeps me from driving and working....I am about 5.5 months off.

 

Thank you!

[[...]]

To the guests who are checking out the various forums on this site, and may be considering joining BenzoBuddies, rest assured that this is a very safe and secure site.  The benzobuddies team, the administrators, and the moderators are all very kind and caring people who unselfishly volunteer their time to keep it that way.

 

Twenty- three months ago, after having lurked around BenzoBuddies for two months, 'getting a feel for the place', I was so impressed with how unitimidating, and how kind and understanding all the folks were on this site, that I decided to forget my fear of the unknown, and take the plunge and become a member. 

 

Having never tweeted, and never having had an account on Facebook, I was a neophyte when it came to internet forums, so I was feeling quite lost and all alone when I logged on for the very first time.  Then along came Pamster, a former administrator, with a heart of gold, and the soul of Saint, who welcomed me to BenzoBuddies. I knew then, that I had made the correct decision in my joining benzoBuddies.

 

Becoming a part of this unique site turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I received a refresher course about the things that really matter in life; helping others when they need help the most, and being a friend to somebody who may be temporarily friendless.  Being here has confirmed my belief in how unselfish, how compassionate, how understanding, how decent , and how respectful, and non-judgemental people can be. 

 

Being on this site has confirmed my belief that when people are suffering and hurting so much to the point that they may want to give up ... their courage, and their indomitable spirit will not let them give up.  Their wounded, and weakened spirit may crack a little, but it will never break, because in the grand design of things, we tend to get stronger and more determined than ever when we have poured our heart and soul into our wanting to succeed. 

 

TO DEFEAT THAT BENZO DEMON ... YOU MUST KEEP ON FIGHTING ... YOU MUST HANG ON WITH TENACITY OF A FEROCIOUS BULLDOG! 

 

Many people have come and gone from here, mysteriously disappearing like lost souls on a ghostship, never to be heard from again.  Many of them, because of their infectious personality, and their kindness, have taken a little piece of our heart with them.  I often wonder, and ask myself; "Why did they leave?"  "Were did they go?"   

 

My hope is that most of them left because they had HEALED.  Contributing a large part in that healing process were the folks at BenzoBuddies who supported them when no one else would ... understood them when no one else would ... had confidence in them, and loved them when no one else would ...This gave them the strength, the courage, and the will power to persevere, and to stay strong, thus, helping them to recover from their encounter with benzos, allowing them to get their lives back again.

 

They left quietly and as inconspicuously as they deemed necessary ... not wanting to relive or revisit the pain and misery of withdrawals ... ever again. 

 

I do not believe that anyone who has ever been affiliated with this unique site, can ever, and will probably never, completely forget this place.  I know that it has left an indelible mark on my heart, that can never be erased.

 

All you folks, whether you are new here or have been here for awhile, take heart.  You all WILL heal.  As sure as the world will keep on turning, and as sure as a newborn baby is our assurance that life will go on ... you are going to heal.   

 

pj

 

 

These words really hit my heart today PJ, THANK YOU kind sir.  Many nights you and M. kept me distracted and sane by playing word games and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.  I am getting close now to being benzo free and much of it has to do with this site and the good people that are on it.  You are a gem and I will never forget your kindness.

 

love,

Renny

 

Hi Renny,

 

When I logged on and saw your name, it lit up my cloudy day and turned it into sunshine.  Word games ... that was so much fun! I got a big kick out of putting out those weird sounding names of fly-fishing lures.  You were such a good sport about it.  What can I say about M, other then ... she is terrific ... in every way.

 

Congratulations on getting close to being free from benzos.  Life without benzos is like being at an outdoor symphony on a warm summer evening .  It is so clear, and so sweet.  All the beautiful sights and sounds that were repressed by the fog of benzos, come alive again, more vibrant, and more meaningful than ever before.

 

Thank you for your kind words, Renny.  Whenever I am out riding, and I see a horse and rider off in the distance, I will say to myself ... "There goes Renny, living and loving life, the wind in her hair, the sunshine on her face, and a saddlebag full of dreams."

 

You take good care of yourself.  You are a real sweet lady.  So very kind and gentle.

 

pj

 

   

[[ho...]]

To the guests who are checking out the various forums on this site, and may be considering joining BenzoBuddies, rest assured that this is a very safe and secure site.  The benzobuddies team, the administrators, and the moderators are all very kind and caring people who unselfishly volunteer their time to keep it that way.

 

Twenty- three months ago, after having lurked around BenzoBuddies for two months, 'getting a feel for the place', I was so impressed with how unitimidating, and how kind and understanding all the folks were on this site, that I decided to forget my fear of the unknown, and take the plunge and become a member. 

 

Having never tweeted, and never having had an account on Facebook, I was a neophyte when it came to internet forums, so I was feeling quite lost and all alone when I logged on for the very first time.  Then along came Pamster, a former administrator, with a heart of gold, and the soul of Saint, who welcomed me to BenzoBuddies. I knew then, that I had made the correct decision in my joining benzoBuddies.

 

Becoming a part of this unique site turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I received a refresher course about the things that really matter in life; helping others when they need help the most, and being a friend to somebody who may be temporarily friendless.  Being here has confirmed my belief in how unselfish, how compassionate, how understanding, how decent , and how respectful, and non-judgemental people can be. 

 

Being on this site has confirmed my belief that when people are suffering and hurting so much to the point that they may want to give up ... their courage, and their indomitable spirit will not let them give up.  Their wounded, and weakened spirit may crack a little, but it will never break, because in the grand design of things, we tend to get stronger and more determined than ever when we have poured our heart and soul into our wanting to succeed. 

 

TO DEFEAT THAT BENZO DEMON ... YOU MUST KEEP ON FIGHTING ... YOU MUST HANG ON WITH TENACITY OF A FEROCIOUS BULLDOG! 

 

Many people have come and gone from here, mysteriously disappearing like lost souls on a ghostship, never to be heard from again.  Many of them, because of their infectious personality, and their kindness, have taken a little piece of our heart with them.  I often wonder, and ask myself; "Why did they leave?"  "Were did they go?"   

 

My hope is that most of them left because they had HEALED.  Contributing a large part in that healing process were the folks at BenzoBuddies who supported them when no one else would ... understood them when no one else would ... had confidence in them, and loved them when no one else would ...This gave them the strength, the courage, and the will power to persevere, and to stay strong, thus, helping them to recover from their encounter with benzos, allowing them to get their lives back again.

 

They left quietly and as inconspicuously as they deemed necessary ... not wanting to relive or revisit the pain and misery of withdrawals ... ever again. 

 

I do not believe that anyone who has ever been affiliated with this unique site, can ever, and will probably never, completely forget this place.  I know that it has left an indelible mark on my heart, that can never be erased.

 

All you folks, whether you are new here or have been here for awhile, take heart.  You all WILL heal.  As sure as the world will keep on turning, and as sure as a newborn baby is our assurance that life will go on ... you are going to heal.   

 

pj

 

PJ - This is so very nice.  Thank you for your inspirational writings, for staying here with us.  It is such a comfort. 

[[...]]

hi PJ 

 

I have a quick question... Thank you for responding to my last one btw 

Lately I have been having bad cognitive impairments like my brain cannot think outside of what is right in front of me (poor memory, poor concentration) but the most troubling is that I cannot assimilate too much at once or my brain almost short circuits and 'shuts off'. When it gets too stimulated, which happens easily, it just goes blank esp. In emotionally charged situations or with a lot of people around it gets worse. Can you relate to this? It is quite troubling to me because it keeps me from driving and working....I am about 5.5 months off.

 

Thank you!

 

Hi there,

 

It's really common in withdrawals to experience sensory overload.  When withdrawing from benzos, it seems as though all of our senses are put in a hyper-vigilant state.  Here's an example of what i'm talking about:  If you have ever been in an intensive care unit at a hospital before benzos, it was difficult even then, to not have your senses become over-stimulated by all the smells, the monitors making their strange noises, and the doctors and nurses running in and out of the room.  If you were to be in that same situation while withdrawing from benzos, with all your senses being in a hyper-vigilant state, it would probably cause your mind to temporarily shut-down, and a flight respose would kick in, and you would have to get out of there, pronto!

 

You have most likely read many times, on benzobuddies, where folks have mentioned where they find it imposssible to drive or to be in a busy, noisy, overly- bright store, because they couldn't handle all the stimulation that there senses were forced to deal with.

 

For the first three months after my cold turkey, I didn't drive, couldn't work, didn't go shopping, couldn't be around people.  When the refrigerator started up, it sounded like a threshing machine.  Looking at a light bulb was like looking at the mid-day sun, I wore sunglasses inside the house.  All my senses were in a state of hyper-vigilance for about six months.  I went back to work after three months and just faked it the best I could, until the hyper-vigilant state left at around six months.     

 

Five months off is not that long relating to benzodiazepine withdrawals.  I can't remember how many time I have read where people were going through the same things that you are, and they completely recovered, and are now able to drive on the freeway to their job, go shopping at a busy store, and feel comfortable in social situations.  If you could do all the things that are troubling you now, before benzos, you should most definitely be able to do them after you have healed.

 

Take care, try not to worry.

 

pj

 

 

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To the guests who are checking out the various forums on this site, and may be considering joining BenzoBuddies, rest assured that this is a very safe and secure site.  The benzobuddies team, the administrators, and the moderators are all very kind and caring people who unselfishly volunteer their time to keep it that way.

 

Twenty- three months ago, after having lurked around BenzoBuddies for two months, 'getting a feel for the place', I was so impressed with how unitimidating, and how kind and understanding all the folks were on this site, that I decided to forget my fear of the unknown, and take the plunge and become a member. 

 

Having never tweeted, and never having had an account on Facebook, I was a neophyte when it came to internet forums, so I was feeling quite lost and all alone when I logged on for the very first time.  Then along came Pamster, a former administrator, with a heart of gold, and the soul of Saint, who welcomed me to BenzoBuddies. I knew then, that I had made the correct decision in my joining benzoBuddies.

 

Becoming a part of this unique site turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I received a refresher course about the things that really matter in life; helping others when they need help the most, and being a friend to somebody who may be temporarily friendless.  Being here has confirmed my belief in how unselfish, how compassionate, how understanding, how decent , and how respectful, and non-judgemental people can be. 

 

Being on this site has confirmed my belief that when people are suffering and hurting so much to the point that they may want to give up ... their courage, and their indomitable spirit will not let them give up.  Their wounded, and weakened spirit may crack a little, but it will never break, because in the grand design of things, we tend to get stronger and more determined than ever when we have poured our heart and soul into our wanting to succeed. 

 

TO DEFEAT THAT BENZO DEMON ... YOU MUST KEEP ON FIGHTING ... YOU MUST HANG ON WITH TENACITY OF A FEROCIOUS BULLDOG! 

 

Many people have come and gone from here, mysteriously disappearing like lost souls on a ghostship, never to be heard from again.  Many of them, because of their infectious personality, and their kindness, have taken a little piece of our heart with them.  I often wonder, and ask myself; "Why did they leave?"  "Were did they go?"   

 

My hope is that most of them left because they had HEALED.  Contributing a large part in that healing process were the folks at BenzoBuddies who supported them when no one else would ... understood them when no one else would ... had confidence in them, and loved them when no one else would ...This gave them the strength, the courage, and the will power to persevere, and to stay strong, thus, helping them to recover from their encounter with benzos, allowing them to get their lives back again.

 

They left quietly and as inconspicuously as they deemed necessary ... not wanting to relive or revisit the pain and misery of withdrawals ... ever again. 

 

I do not believe that anyone who has ever been affiliated with this unique site, can ever, and will probably never, completely forget this place.  I know that it has left an indelible mark on my heart, that can never be erased.

 

All you folks, whether you are new here or have been here for awhile, take heart.  You all WILL heal.  As sure as the world will keep on turning, and as sure as a newborn baby is our assurance that life will go on ... you are going to heal.   

 

pj

 

PJ - This is so very nice.  Thank you for your inspirational writings, for staying here with us.  It is such a comfort. 

 

Good morning

 

Thank you, hope56. I love people, and I hate it when they are hurting.  To see their fragile emotions and their fighting spirit being torn into little pieces because of all the pain, all the suffering, and all the lonliness in their life caused by benzos, can be a heart-wrenching experience. 

 

Because of a place like BenzoBuddies, combined with their courage and their strength, people have a chance to get their lives back, and be whole again.

 

They no longer have to feel like a discarded, forgotten person with just a name and a number. They can be ... somebody.  Someone who is respected and loved for who they are.

 

You take care now. My wish for today is that you heal real soon and get your life back so you can be that person who you were meant to be.

 

pj