I caved in

[[Mi...]]

The past two nights I took K .125 mg and it helped me sleep.  I was/am so exhausted from not sleeping and trying to get on a new AD.  There are side effects from the new AD and I am not sure if the insomnia is increasing due to the AD or just the withdrawal. It could be either.  I just pray I can hear the guidance from my guardian angels and my body.  The Seroquel stopped working, Unisom does not help, Doxepin does not help me fall asleep, CBN does not help.  My sweet family has been here to support me, and they leave next week to be back in Europe full time.  It is so difficult to be around my grandchildren when I do not sleep. I want to spend quality time with them but there is not a whole lot of quality gma to be there for them. Some of you have superpowers in my humble opinion. I am trying to be strong and resilient, but I am being honest I need some consistent sleep.  I have lost 10 lbs and cannot afford to lose much more.  When I do not sleep, I have to force myself to cook and eat. Just asking for prayers so I know the best course of action for my body. I do start the transcranial magnetic stimulation on Monday so there is some hope there. I have heard you need sleep for it to work and I heard people say benzos get in the way of it working.  I will find out.  I have read mixed reviews. I am super grateful my insurance decided to cover the procedure out of network.  It is 5 days a week, 30 minutes a session, for 8 weeks. My brain has weird sparks from the medications and the magnetic pulses are supposed to increase brain pain a bit so it will be a challenge to know what is causing what symptom.   Praying we all are guided to perfect health and well-being.      

[[Pa...]]

Hi @[Mi...], I'm sorry you're so miserable, I had terrible insomnia too and I caved and started taking Ambien a few months after my cold turkey from Klonopin.  I was desperate, just like you are but I wish I wouldn't have started it because I ended up extending my misery by many months.

I know it seems impossible to you now but your body can learn how to sleep again if you allow it time.  Relying on benzodiazepines or other prescription sleep aids keeps you dependent and you won't be able to sleep on your own.  This process takes too long and its miserable but the only way out is through.

I hope you can resist taking anymore Klonopin and have faith in your bodies ability to sleep, I used to think I was broken and couldn't sleep without drugs but once we remove them, our body knows what to do.

 

[[An...]]

Hang in there Michelle.

Praying 🙏🏻 the TMS helps you.

It did not help me when I tried it, but others report success.

The risk is minimal.

 

 

 

[[Mi...]]

5 hours ago, [[P...] said:

Hi @[Mi...], I'm sorry you're so miserable, I had terrible insomnia too and I caved and started taking Ambien a few months after my cold turkey from Klonopin.  I was desperate, just like you are but I wish I wouldn't have started it because I ended up extending my misery by many months.

I know it seems impossible to you now but your body can learn how to sleep again if you allow it time.  Relying on benzodiazepines or other prescription sleep aids keeps you dependent and you won't be able to sleep on your own.  This process takes too long and its miserable but the only way out is through.

I hope you can resist taking anymore Klonopin and have faith in your bodies ability to sleep, I used to think I was broken and couldn't sleep without drugs but once we remove them, our body knows what to do.

Pam how long did your insomnia last and did anything help you sleep, like medications?  This week has been especially difficult since starting the new AD.  I have done this in the past twenty-five years ago and after I got balanced on a good AD I was able to wean off of the K fairly easily.  After almost twenty-five years I tried to wean off the AD and the insomnia started and the medication made me super sick trying to get back on it for six plus months of insomnia and ambien.  I did a genetic test that showed it was now horrible for me and would not work and it would cause side effects.  So, I am doing my best to do what worked before and try another AD that may help the insomnia.  I guess I truly believe the insomnia is caused by a chemical imbalance that requires medication.  Every time I tried to get off of my AD I got horrible insomnia.  Thank you for sharing your experience with me.  

[[Mi...]]

1 minute ago, [[A...] said:

Hang in there Michelle.

Praying 🙏🏻 the TMS helps you.

It did not help me when I tried it, but others report success.

The risk is minimal.

Did you do the full eight weeks.  I did read a few people did not have success and I know the effort is huge.  It is a possibility it will not work.  Did anything help you like medications or just time and commitment?  Thank you for sharing your journey.  

[[Ja...]]

I had terrible insomnia recently.  I was on antibiotics and steroids and the insomnia wore me out.  I’m nine months post taper.  I had great help from Benzobuddies.  I am also a senior citizen.  My sleep returned when I finished the antibiotics.  I get the occasional night where I cannot get to sleep and I take a drowsy cough bottle in water.  That gets me off.  I get on average six hours. 

 

 

 

 

and I buy the drowsy version.

[[Pa...]]

7 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Pam how long did your insomnia last and did anything help you sleep, like medications?  This week has been especially difficult since starting the new AD.  I have done this in the past twenty-five years ago and after I got balanced on a good AD I was able to wean off of the K fairly easily.  After almost twenty-five years I tried to wean off the AD and the insomnia started and the medication made me super sick trying to get back on it for six plus months of insomnia and ambien.  I did a genetic test that showed it was now horrible for me and would not work and it would cause side effects.  So, I am doing my best to do what worked before and try another AD that may help the insomnia.  I guess I truly believe the insomnia is caused by a chemical imbalance that requires medication.  Every time I tried to get off of my AD I got horrible insomnia.  Thank you for sharing your experience with me.  

@[Mi...], once I stopped the Ambien completely sleep was difficult to come by.  The first night was no sleep, the second night, I had a moment of what we call micro-sleep, this is when you don't actually sleep but you seem to lose time for a few seconds or more.  We've figured out this is the way our body insures continued functioning of vital systems, we're still miserable but get enough sleep to insure survival.  The third night was more of the same but by the fourth, I was starting to dream.  They were awful slasher type dreams but at least they accompanied sleep.  My sleep slowly improved from there over a matter of weeks and I knew I was on my way to recovery. 

The nature of my sleep quality changed, instead of waking up instantly and wide awake like I did on the drug, I woke up slower, like I was coming out of a deeper sleep and I was. It was and still is a luxurious feeling to go to sleep naturally, to wake up naturally, your body knows how to do this, every creature on the earth knows how to do this basic body function and I believe that once you remove the medications causing this disruption in your sleep, you'll be able to as well. 

You mention you were able to taper from Klonopin without too much problem before, its very common to not have the same luck the second time. I don't know the reason you take an A/D but have you considered holding off on trying to stop the sleep medications until you stabilize on it? 

[[Mi...]]

On 17/06/2024 at 04:16, [[P...] said:

@[Mi...], once I stopped the Ambien completely sleep was difficult to come by.  The first night was no sleep, the second night, I had a moment of what we call micro-sleep, this is when you don't actually sleep but you seem to lose time for a few seconds or more.  We've figured out this is the way our body insures continued functioning of vital systems, we're still miserable but get enough sleep to insure survival.  The third night was more of the same but by the fourth, I was starting to dream.  They were awful slasher type dreams but at least they accompanied sleep.  My sleep slowly improved from there over a matter of weeks and I knew I was on my way to recovery. 

The nature of my sleep quality changed, instead of waking up instantly and wide awake like I did on the drug, I woke up slower, like I was coming out of a deeper sleep and I was. It was and still is a luxurious feeling to go to sleep naturally, to wake up naturally, your body knows how to do this, every creature on the earth knows how to do this basic body function and I believe that once you remove the medications causing this disruption in your sleep, you'll be able to as well. 

You mention you were able to taper from Klonopin without too much problem before, its very common to not have the same luck the second time. I don't know the reason you take an A/D but have you considered holding off on trying to stop the sleep medications until you stabilize on it? 

Thank you for your reply.  I started getting insomnia when I stopped the AD.  The genetic test I just got the results from showed why the AD I took for 20 plus years was not working any longer.  It was 7 months with horrible pain and sleep medications trying to go back on a medication that was now horrible for me.  I was then tried on another AD and it did not stop the insomnia but it helped with appetite. I am trying a new AD now and TMS.  I increased the Seroquel and it helped last night but causes fairly intense neck pain and anxiety.  Not sleeping is worse so I need to just deal with it and hope I can wean off of the Seroquel if the AD stabilizes and asap.  Just doing my best.  Taking K also causes the neck agitation and anxiety. If Seroquel works, I will stick with it for now.  It is weird I could fall asleep mid day but I do not hoping it will help me sleep at night.  When night comes around it is difficult to fall asleep.  It sounds like your sleep came back gradually. It is promising. 

[[Pa...]]

It sounds like you could possibly on your way to getting stable on the new A/D, so for now, I guess you'll just have to manage your medications as best you can in the meantime.  Hopefully, once you stabilize, you can begin the process of eliminating the most troublesome medications.  

I know what you mean about being sleepy at midday, I get that too but I'm wide awake at bedtime.  Sleep still isn't my best subject but I manage to get between 5-7 hours a night which I'll gladly take over the insomnia you're living with. 

[[la...]]

Michelle have you tried gabapentin? It doesn't work on the same Gaba receptors as ambien or benzos and makes me sleepy. It might work for you. Praying that your natural sleep returns <3 

Edited June 19 by [la...]

[[Ca...]]

I take a SNRI Effexor XR and Gabapentin, both of which I need but likely addicted to. Insomnia is rough going and is probably the most common symptom of the Benzo ordeal. So I take Baclofen. I also vape ∆8 or∆9. It's not perfect but does usually help. Have to be careful with Baclofen not to take too. And initially the vapes cause anxiety but goes away 10 or 15 mins. Seroquel gives me flu symptoms. That's just me.

[[An...]]

On 17/06/2024 at 02:27, [[M...] said:

Did you do the full eight weeks.  I did read a few people did not have success and I know the effort is huge.  It is a possibility it will not work.  Did anything help you like medications or just time and commitment?  Thank you for sharing your journey.  

Almost...... I think I quit near the very end of treatment b/c it was not helping me in any way that I could discern. Daily light to moderate aerobic exercise and meditation are the two things that help me the most.

[[Th...]]

Unfortunately ADs can have their own withdrawal and symptoms that are similar to Benzo WD, including insomnia. Out of the 15 or so symptoms I had, insomnia was by far the worst.  But as others have said, your body will get all of the sleep it needs, even it that is only "microsleep," until your sleep slowly evens out over time.  I was a great sleeper my whole life until my early 50's, then out of the blue I had some off nights and zero nights.  My PCP put me on Benzos.  I had no idea how bad they can truly be for people that take them.  I quickly reached tolerance and starting having interdose-withdrawal symptoms including insomnia.  I had no idea what was going on until I found BenzoBuddies.  

I'd definitely stay away from Benzos and Z-drugs, such as Ambien, along with alcohol, caffeine and anything with MSG in it.  Not sleeping is terrible, but we can actually survive and even thrive on little to no sleep for months and months.  It's not a contest to see who can go without sleep the longest, but I learned through firsthand experience that 8 hours per night is NOT required.  Is 8 hours ideal, yes, but you can make it through on far less sleep until it evens out.  Seroquel worked for me too, but left me with a lot of brain fog and DP/DR the next day so I stopped taking it.  My sleep slowly returned over about 9-10 months after I jumped CT (not recommended).  

Maybe take the time to read this rather long post regarding insomnia.  It can most likely answer a lot of your questions?  Peace.  

https://benzobuddies.org/topic/270442-2400-days-off-my-insomniabenzo-advice/page/5/#comment-3517570

 

Edited June 19 by [Th...]

[[Mi...]]

On 18/06/2024 at 12:11, [[P...] said:

It sounds like you could possibly on your way to getting stable on the new A/D, so for now, I guess you'll just have to manage your medications as best you can in the meantime.  Hopefully, once you stabilize, you can begin the process of eliminating the most troublesome medications.  

I know what you mean about being sleepy at midday, I get that too but I'm wide awake at bedtime.  Sleep still isn't my best subject but I manage to get between 5-7 hours a night which I'll gladly take over the insomnia you're living with. 

I have managed to get 5.5-7 hours a night of sleep with the help of about 75mg of Seroquel.  It makes me so out of it the next day but I am not willing to not sleep if i can help it.  Just praying I can wean off of the Seroquel sooner than later.  We will see.  And I realize like others have mentioned some AD's cause insomnia so I am uncertain if that is what is happening at this point.  I really wish we could hear our guardian angels guidance.  I guess we can only do our bests and listen to our bodies.  

[[Pa...]]

40 minutes ago, [[M...] said:

I have managed to get 5.5-7 hours a night of sleep with the help of about 75mg of Seroquel.  It makes me so out of it the next day but I am not willing to not sleep if i can help it.  Just praying I can wean off of the Seroquel sooner than later.  We will see.  And I realize like others have mentioned some AD's cause insomnia so I am uncertain if that is what is happening at this point.  I really wish we could hear our guardian angels guidance.  I guess we can only do our bests and listen to our bodies.  

We do the best we can in these desperate times, I'm happy to hear you've been able to get some sleep.  I have no doubt you'll be able to taper the Seroquel when the time comes.  Have you been able to avoid taking any Klonopin?