You never know

[[ih...]]

You literally never know when a window or wave is going to come, I've just spent the last 3/4 days feeling great... drinking lots of green tea and taking ashwagandha and I've been sleeping great too.... now it's 2am where I live and I couldn't fall asleep for 4 hours so I've decided to come to the gym and walk on the treadmill for an hour, I think sometimes it's easier just to admit defeat when the insomnia comes rather than fight it laying there for 6 hours and not a wink of sleep. 

Anyways I hope everyone here on BB is doing better than me ✌️

[[Pa...]]

Hello @[ih...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I agree, when my insomnia was rampant, I would go to work, sometimes at 3:00 a.m., what was the point of staying in bed and making myself even more desperate?

I’m sorry to hear sleep is so hard to come by, are you tapering or are you recovering?

We’d love to hear more about your situation.

@[Pa...]

[[ih...]]

1 minute ago, [[P...] said:

Hello @[ih...], welcome to BenzoBuddies,

I agree, when my insomnia was rampant, I would go to work, sometimes at 3:00 a.m., what was the point of staying in bed and making myself even more desperate?

I’m sorry to hear sleep is so hard to come by, are you tapering or are you recovering?

We’d love to hear more about your situation.

@[Pa...]

I'm tapering at the moment, I started on street benzos, valium about 4 and a half years ago and have now found a place near me that can prescribe me a diazepam tapering script, I have to go to the pharmacy every day which sometimes when my anxiety is rampant is very difficult, I started on 34mg and taper down every 14 days by 2mg. Currently on 30mg so still early days, I'm just glad I found them cos I'd never be able to taper with the stuff I was buying off the Internet each pill seems to be a different strength to the next 

[[Pa...]]

I've heard that about street benzo's @[ih...], inconsistent and possibly contaminated with other substances, so I'm happy to hear you've got a good stable supply now.  Are they letting you determine your taper speed or is your taper being directed?

 

[[ih...]]

2 hours ago, [[P...] said:

I've heard that about street benzo's @[ih...], inconsistent and possibly contaminated with other substances, so I'm happy to hear you've got a good stable supply now.  Are they letting you determine your taper speed or is your taper being directed?

Well here in the UK there's a place called WEDINOS you can send a sample of what you're buying and they'll test it for free and post the results on their website and for the last year or so all the advertised diazepam is actually bromazolam which I can't seem to find much information on at all plus they've started adding other active compounds in which are quite scary. As for the taper I have used this service before and I dropped 2mg every 28 days and it was unsuccessful for me (I did have a lot of unforeseeable things happen in life which made me updose quite a lot) but I think the drop every 14 days is working and I'm gonna keep a positive attitude and for the first time in years I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I really do have a good feeling it's gonna work this time.

Decided to get out in the garden this morning and have a little fire before the neighbours put there washing on the line ✌️😁

[[Co...]]

Yes. I know the 2 mg drop would have been too much for me. Every time I have tried to drop more than the Ashton recommendation of 10% of the current dose it has been miserable and I have had to go back up. I’m at 5.5 mgs of Diazepam from 30, and the anxiety stopped leveling out before the monthly drop down about four months  ago. I just go forward with the taper because it has to end eventually. Hang in there with your taper. I do have a window from time to time, so my brain is healing. Yours will too. 

[[Pa...]]

I'm happy to hear you're doing well with this taper speed, many members have to slow down when they get to the smaller doses so I hope you'll have the freedom to do this if you encounter difficulties. 

I love that you're hopeful @[ih...], hang on to that because you know this can be a bumpy ride.

Love the photo, keep doing things that help you feel normal, hang on to the life you want to step back into when you're through with all of this. 

[[ih...]]

13 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Yes. I know the 2 mg drop would have been too much for me. Every time I have tried to drop more than the Ashton recommendation of 10% of the current dose it has been miserable and I have had to go back up. I’m at 5.5 mgs of Diazepam from 30, and the anxiety stopped leveling out before the monthly drop down about four months  ago. I just go forward with the taper because it has to end eventually. Hang in there with your taper. I do have a window from time to time, so my brain is healing. Yours will too. 

It drops down another 2mg today, this time it seems easier mentally cos I've just accepted I have to go through the bad to get to the good, I'm sick of having to take diazepam to feel normal or even withdraw so hopefully this is it and I'll never touch it again 

[[ih...]]

11 hours ago, [[P...] said:

I'm happy to hear you're doing well with this taper speed, many members have to slow down when they get to the smaller doses so I hope you'll have the freedom to do this if you encounter difficulties. 

I love that you're hopeful @[ih...], hang on to that because you know this can be a bumpy ride.

Love the photo, keep doing things that help you feel normal, hang on to the life you want to step back into when you're through with all of this. 

Yeah I could phone and ask them to change it to every 28 days instead of 14 if I really needed to so that is definitely a good thing if things start getting really bad