Diazepam - 40-100mg per day to 8mg

[[T-...]]

Hi. 
 

I have done a taper (well at least the doctor thought I was) from 40mg to 10mg - been on benzos for 2 years, this time taking between 40mg to 100mg per day.
 

Successfully withdrawn from Valium twice once at the age of 17 then again at the age of 24 (cyclonic/tonic seizure during withdrawal) second time managed to walk away and not touch Valium for the next 8 years this time it started with tamazipam, graduated to Nitrazepam then switched to diazepam but life was getting hard so went way up. Realised that it wasn’t actually helping in ways it used to at this point and I had a serious problem

2 weeks ago I had had enough of letting this drug consume me and dropped to 8mg. I have had very easy days and maybe 4-5 very hard days. Was it silly to drop so hard and would there be any reason to increase and start the taper again properly from 40mg as the doctor is suggesting now I have told him what’s actually been happening or do I just get on with what I’m about to have thrown at me. As I say 8mg for 2 weeks is what I have been taking and not taken anything more but the Hard days/Waves are very intense the easy days are quite standard days except for the fear of a bad day/wave. 
 

Thanks 

[[je...]]

Hi @[T-...]

welcome to BenzoBuddies!

I’m really sorry you are struggling. I’m not sure if I understand your situation correctly because you talk about a taper from 40-10mg, but if you were in fact taking anything between 40-100mg Valium per day, then you should not cut to 8mg due to the risk of seizures. Especially if you’ve had seizures before. 100mg is a very high dose. But if you did that 2 weeks ago, and it sounds as if your doctor is aware of this situation, then I don’t think there is a high risk of seizures anymore.

Whether or not you need to updose depends on the severity of your symptoms. If you feel it’s manageable then you can try to tough it out. If it’s too difficult then you can up dose. You can also try smaller updoses. It doesn’t have to be all the way to 40mg. 

Ultimately it really depends on whether you feel the symptoms are manageable. We are glad you are here, and happy to help. 

[[T-...]]

@[je...] thanks for the quick response. 
 

the reason I dropped to 8mg was as I was actually supposed to be on 10mg per day I just thought go to the next level down which was 8mg as it was a 2mg drop every 2 weeks. I wasn’t actually doing this and was abusing the drug at pretty high levels. The 100mg was usually during a hangover/cocaine come down. I haven’t touched a drink or drug for 2 weeks and genuinely don’t intend to. I have had enough of being a zombie. It’s just dawned on me that this was quite a considerable drop after finding out about benzobuddies. 
 

the last benzo withdrawals were cold turkey and actually had no idea on those occasions that there was something called a taper/withdrawl as the drug was always used illicitly (the drug dealers forgot to mention the taper part in those years) I wish I had known to make what I went through easier even when I had a seizure I didn’t say I was on benzos so had no idea until this time round that that was why I had the seizure. 
 

yes the Seizure has been on my mind as I had PTSD from the seizure for many years but managed to come through and live a pretty standard life after the seizure. I have no idea how I escaped serious withdrawal when I was 17 as that was by far the most I had ever used. I personally believe that it was because I didn’t know There was such a thing as a taper or even withdrawal.

 

this time it has been medically prescribed along with illicitly. I think because I have more information about withdrawal/taper it’s much more on my mind and more psychological this time although I could be completely wrong. 
 

The bad days are -

crying 

hyper emotions 

feeling numb 

lonely 

shaking hands 

the good days are worrying about that coming back so it’s strange that I’m having good days after reading lots of topics on here and feel somewhat guilty for having what I would class as good days as it’s horrible reading what people are going through. 
 

I plan to drop 1mg per month now until rehab in October as I have to work the summer months. I feel rehab is necessary to figure out why these drugs have entered my life 3 times and deal with past traumas and withdrawal in a safe environment this time. 
 

Thank you 

[[T-...]]

Sorry when I say haven’t touched a drug I mean anything other than the 8mg of diazepam per day 

[[jo...]]

Hi, how long did it take to recover the first 2 times?

[[je...]]

From what you’ve described it sounds like you are functional. Generally that would be the objective. Functional doesn’t mean you are feeling good or great but you are able to perform the daily tasks expected of you such as going to work, cooking, cleaning etc. Please correct me if I’m misinterpreting your symptoms. If this is the case then I would not recommend an updose. Then my suggestion would be to hold your dose for a couple of weeks.

It sounds like you’re trying to turn your life around and make better choices which is really commendable.

Please don’t feel bad because your perception is you are not suffering as badly as others on the forum. This is not a competition to see who has it worst, this is a place where we support each other without judgement because we understand what it’s like to go through withdrawal. 

[[T-...]]

6 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

Hi, how long did it take to recover the first 2 times?

The age of 17 I didn’t actually know I was in withdrawal just felt a rollercoaster of a life and my mum said I was a mess for a while but maybe you bounce back quicker at that age. That would be a guess! 
 

the second time was awful I sweated so much on the top bunk of a hostel that it actually went through the mattress and was bed bound for I’d say a month then came the seizure and like I said didn’t actually realise I was in withdrawal from a drug as I didn’t know that you could withdraw from it so just thought I was ill from travelling Asia. After the seizure i was in a bad way but I thought that was because I had a seizure. I can now put that to withdrawal. I genuinely believe that if you don’t know about withdrawal then your brain will naturally make it easier as I currently sit here the third time round in fear of withdrawal because I now know it’s coming. 

 

i could be completely wrong but that’s the only thing I can think it could be. 
 

hope this helps 

[[jo...]]

[[T-...]]

6 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

From what you’ve described it sounds like you are functional. Generally that would be the objective. Functional doesn’t mean you are feeling good or great but you are able to perform the daily tasks expected of you such as going to work, cooking, cleaning etc. Please correct me if I’m misinterpreting your symptoms. If this is the case then I would not recommend an updose. Then my suggestion would be to hold your dose for a couple of weeks.

It sounds like you’re trying to turn your life around and make better choices which is really commendable.

Please don’t feel bad because your perception is you are not suffering as badly as others on the forum. This is not a competition to see who has it worst, this is a place where we support each other without judgement because we understand what it’s like to go through withdrawal. 

Yes I am functional had one or 2 days where I haven’t wanted to get out of bed but forced myself out for the afternoon. 
 

im a lot less interested in wanting to do the things I enjoy doing also. 
 

work 

gym 

social settings (i just come home and stay in my room these days) 

loneliness 
 

these 4 things have been constantly present through the past 2 weeks. As mentioned the withdrawal has been good and bad days. 
 

so should I stay at 8 or continue a 1mg per month drop until rehab as I have planned? The doctor is happy to do this as I request it but has also suggested we start again. I do not want 40mg in me and would feel like I’m going back to where I was and could end up back in the cycle. I feel ready to kick this and whatever it throws at me. That could become less realistic as the drop occurs or withdrawal is just not in full swing but I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it. 

 

thank you for your help, a forum like this is highly beneficial. 
 

I haven’t been able to speak to anyone about this and I am so happy I have found BB

thanks 

[[T-...]]

9 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

Yeah this is the third time I've come off valium too (all ct) so it sounds familiar. Your doing the right thing tapering this time I wish I had.

Thanks. 
 

Yes the first 2 times I didn’t associate Valium at all with what I was going through so there was absolutely no psychological attatchments to the drug. I just thought I was ill. I also continued to use other drugs (cocaine/ecstacy) and was travelling so was in a completely different setting. The first time when I was 17 I don’t really remember all that much I kind of just had a lucky escape I guess. 

Valium wasn’t easily accessible in Australia where I was at the time so didn’t really give it another thought. 
 

this time round I’m much more aware that it’s the drug and my brain can actually think too much about it and is preparing for the worst and maybe that’s why I’m experiencing something different this time. 

[[jo...]]

[[T-...]]

6 minutes ago, [[j...] said:

It could be part of it, not knowing what it is, but I was aware of it being withdrawl and it still only lasted a few weeks the first two times. I think being younger may help bouncing back quicker also. Many people will tell you it gets harder every time you do it so I've just put it down to that. This is for sure the last time I do this. I'm not going back to them. Another one of these thats potentionally worse doesn't sound like a great idea. Anyway it sounds like your doing good all things considered just stick with it. I'm sure you'll be feeling better in no time.

I’m with you on the not going back 💙 time to stop surviving and start living. 
 

I’ve done this before not knowing. I can do it again knowing. 
 

let’s do it the safest way possible this time. I think that’s for the best. If I went cold turkey this time it wouldn’t end well I know that much. 
 

cheers 👍🏻

Edited May 22 by [T-...]

[[Al...]]

[[T-...]]

1 minute ago, [[A...] said:

That is often the case and a very harsh reality with benzos.  That, after a while, the most they'll do, no matter how much you take, is make you sleepy, but the anxyliotic effects completely subside after being on it for a while.  However, it is good that you learned this, b/c now, when you get off them again, you likely won't ever go back to them.  It's a road that, more often than not, leads to a dead end.

Yes I definitely hit that dead end.

 

now that I can look back this drug has taken so much from me. Time to take it back.

ive always wondered what it actually was I was going through and why I had a random seizure. I know know why and can look back on a past and say it was all the benzos. It wasn’t random at all. 
 

I had severe PTSD thinking I had epilepsy or something and was going through a feeling of having another seizure for years of my life. It never came 

[[je...]]

[[T-...]]

5 hours ago, [[j...] said:

I would suggest you hold your dose for at least the next month so your body has has time to recover. Valium has a very long half-life and it's best to allow some time to stabilise before you resume tapering. When you taper, it depends on the symptoms. Some people can reduce 1mg at a time, but it might be easier to do 0.5mg every two weeks, rather than a bigger cut every month. The most important thing during tapering is to remain flexible and to track your symptoms. If your symptoms ramp up then you need to slow down your taper. 

Thank you. 
 

how is it best to do a 0.5 taper as the only pills available is a 5mg and 2mg pill. 
 

just do my best to quarter a 2mg? 
 

thanks 

[[Ja...]]

Tbot,.get some micro scales bud it makes it so mutch easier to keep track,.your brain likes stability to,.get your taper dose right then weigh the 5mg pils,.save the 2mg for when it gets lower,.once you get the scales just weight the 5mg pil,.work out on a calculator what the 0.5 is and your there,.funny enough I’m at 8mg just now,.you might need to go back up some with a drop like that though,.if you are ok and choose to keep going from 8mg I’d stay there for a while like jelly baby said.

[[je...]]

[[T-...]]

7 hours ago, [[j...] said:

You would take a 2mg pill weigh it on a jewellery scale and then shave off 0.5mg. 

Thanks

 

so does a 2mg pill contain 2mg of pure diazepam and that’s what it would weigh 0.2 on the scale? 
 

 

[[je...]]

The pill itself will not weigh 2mg on the scale. It will weigh more. That's because the pill does not just consist of Diazepam only. It has active ingredient which is the 2mg Diazepam. Then it also contains fillers. We talk about 1) pill weight - the actual weight of the full pill - and then there's 2) active ingredient weight - the amount of Diazepam in the pill. If you buy a jewellers scale, you'll weigh the pill and you know that you need to take 25% off. (Because you want to cut 0.5 and 0.5 is 25% off from 2mg). Then you deduct 25% off the full weight of the pill and you file that off. 

[[T-...]]

15 hours ago, [[J...] said:

Tbot,.get some micro scales bud it makes it so mutch easier to keep track,.your brain likes stability to,.get your taper dose right then weigh the 5mg pils,.save the 2mg for when it gets lower,.once you get the scales just weight the 5mg pil,.work out on a calculator what the 0.5 is and your there,.funny enough I’m at 8mg just now,.you might need to go back up some with a drop like that though,.if you are ok and choose to keep going from 8mg I’d stay there for a while like jelly baby said.

Thanks. Yes I will stay at 8. Was maybe a bad move to do such a sudden drop but I’m doing ok with 8 for now. 
 

so slight confusion. Am I dropping 0.5 of a pill or trying to drop 0.5 of the diazepam itself. Or is that the same thing?

 

thanks

[[Ja...]]

Tbot,..for example my 10mg diazepams weigh 176 mg on the scales,.so 1g works out at 17.6,.recently I was at 10mg a day 2/2/2 in day and 3 at night,..I wanted a 1mg drop,..so I rounded the 17.6 to 18 and took .4 of each pil to get to 9mg,.I done the exact method to get to 8mg,..so right now my daily’s dose weighs 31 each and my night 52.8,..when I go down to 7mg next week I’ll just take of .4 from each again,..I’m im doing it this way to take of 1mg every time at the moment,.this will probably go to 0.5 half 1mg as the doses get smaller,.it’s also reckomeded to go by %10 or %5 of your last dose every drop,you have to work that out if that’s how you plan to go,.right now this 1mg drop is working for me.

[[je...]]

[[Ca...]]

I never knew that about the score lines!

[[Ch...]]

45 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

I never knew that about the score lines!

The thing is...Valium has such a long half-life that it is very forgiving of imprecision. I tapered 60mg of the stuff and never once weighed and shaved a tablet (This applies only to Valium). If you're worried about it (and really, you do not need to be!), just take the pieces in successive doses.