Wake up feeling lost, depressed

[[Fo...]]

After all this time and suffering, it was like one thing after the other,  in terms of symptoms and pain,  I often feel like I woke up from a coma.  It never goes away,  and having aged and lost time is very hard to accept but how I feel typically is just low,  lost,  sad,  no joy,  no real love anymore.  After getting sick in Nov with who knows what hybrid thing,  I feel very low.   I post wanting to ask if someone relates but I cant even explain what I'm asking.   I feel very traumatized and I feel like it made my body weak and incapable of ever handling things right again.  It often feels and my brain tells me I'm sick. Just sad. 

 

I can articulate and interact but I FEEL brain damaged.

Edited May 1 by [Fo...]

[[Ma...]]

When I fall asleep, often throughout the day, I feel like I am drifting into the abyss, never to return. Most times my fatigue is so severe it’s debilitating. 

How do you feel ‘brain damaged’, especially when interacting with others? Can you please elaborate?

I went into the public, as in out-of-my-neighborhood-public, last weekend and what came out of my mouth while interacting with strangers (trying to get into an art exhibition) is tooooooooooo embarrassing to type here. No, not embarrassing alone: terrifying that I do, indeed, have brain damage.

We also had lunch at a restaurant and I ate like some Europeans do, with the fork in my left hand. WTH?? 🤦‍♀️ 

Edited May 1 by [Ma...]

[[Ca...]]

Have a fairly good idea what you're talking about with depression, feeling lost, that harsh, early morning anxiety, which can be so troubling and disheartening. I'm so sorry the way it's impacted you emotionally. I too, feel severely damaged in terms of cognitive functionality. It's as though my CNS has been somehow altered, organically at the core. 

But I expect healing is already underway, perhaps never quite to the original state which does sort of worry me at times.

[[st...]]

Yep. I feel the same and. It's part of the process. It's a chemical shit storm in our brains that is trying to work It's self out. Do you have any good moments or feel or see improvements from 6 months or a year ago?