Help

[[Al...]]

I had a big meltdown at work today and was swearing and upset. This has been happening a lot recently at work. Usually I kept my anger hidden at work. Yesterday I left work at lunch because I was so upset. I feel bad because i was going to take my son to hang out with his friend but i cancelled.
 

After my blowup today My boss was mad at me and told me to go home. This is new for me. I’m worried about my life and I don’t know who to talk to about my addiction and work. I get a refill every 2 weeks of clonazapem and I’m running low and I have 8 days until refill so this is adding to my stress. I’m scared to tell my doctor because he nearly cut me off because I’ve done this before. Somebody help me please. I’m all stressed and worried about my job my son my life. I don’t live with son’s mother anymore. I need to watch him next 3 nights and i am only happy and cheerful and a good dad when im on my meds. Help please 

[[PE...]]

Hi sorry to hear that. Do you need to go totally out before you get new?

Are you thinking about to quit? 

[[Al...]]

I want to quit benzos but I don’t think it’s possible for me to be happy without them. I sucked before them. I don’t know 

[[Re...]]

1 hour ago, [[A...] said:

I had a big meltdown at work today and was swearing and upset. This has been happening a lot recently at work. Usually I kept my anger hidden at work. Yesterday I left work at lunch because I was so upset. I feel bad because i was going to take my son to hang out with his friend but i cancelled.
 

After my blowup today My boss was mad at me and told me to go home. This is new for me. I’m worried about my life and I don’t know who to talk to about my addiction and work. I get a refill every 2 weeks of clonazapem and I’m running low and I have 8 days until refill so this is adding to my stress. I’m scared to tell my doctor because he nearly cut me off because I’ve done this before. Somebody help me please. I’m all stressed and worried about my job my son my life. I don’t live with son’s mother anymore. I need to watch him next 3 nights and i am only happy and cheerful and a good dad when im on my meds. Help please 

@[Al...] Have you considered getting support through a 12-Step program for addiction? Cold turkey or detox is not the safest way for benzo cessation and in the addiction medicine world, it is encouraged. A slow, patient-led taper over time is ideal. But in terms of emotional and spiritual support for addiction, you can get it there 24/7.

[[Al...]]

There is no help anywhere is this stupid world

[[re...]]

Well this isn't Anywhere Albert and there IS help here for sure. But I know what ya mean.

If you don't mind me asking, you said addiction. What is your use like? How much per day of K? You definitely can live a drug free life if you want to. And the fact that it is affecting your work at this point is proof maybe you need to seriously change something and this med is doing this to you and it's time to get it the hell out of your system. This needs to be done slowly I think. I don't know as much about addiction, but it seems the addicts actually heal sometimes much better than the poor therapeutic users. I would seek out a benzo wise doc to try and taper you off with lots of support from both a therapist AND a real medical doc so your vitals can be monitored while you taper. If your doctor is going to try and cold turkey you. RUN. Don't put yourself through that and find a doctor that understands the taper process. Although this will not be an easy task necessarily depending where you live, but it can be done.  

You can do this and the fact you are reaching out right now is proof of that. 

[[Ca...]]

3 hours ago, [[R...] said:

@[Al...] Have you considered getting support through a 12-Step program for addiction? Cold turkey or detox is not the safest way for benzo cessation and in the addiction medicine world, it is encouraged. A slow, patient-led taper over time is ideal. But in terms of emotional and spiritual support for addiction, you can get it there 24/7.

Pills Anonymous has virtual meetings but the rub is that everyone in the meetings is off the pills. So you won't get support for your taper. They will tell you to go to detox.